Misery loving the company
Of my soul is overrated
Can't remember the last time
My heart's song
Had my feet tapping
Or my spirit elated
Mourning more familiar
Lately than ever before
Regrettably reopening
To heartache's knocking?
Not this morning old friend
Try another broken door...

What you thinking yo
How you get the idea
I'm falling for you
Where you get off
*** U Ming I actually want you?
Not delusional at all huh bruh
Let me get this straight
WE hugged, kissed?
Some other oda thangz?
Got you thinking I was what?
Your who?
No fauqin attachmentz FOH
I already got what
WE came for, truth!!!

Six million ways
To dye
Yuh can choose
More than one
But if it's done right
Juzt Quan time
Ongle One iz what
Yuh need write???

Juzt one of doze daze
Somber gripz a soulless emptiness
I am my stories protagonist.
I championed
My own lovely fragility
Help me find my do not touch labelz
Or leave me da *** alone.

Pay to go sit down and tell someone my problems
So they can help me figure out
What to do with my life.
When the hell did **** ever get this bad, this rough, this ******?
I never wanted any of the pain I endured and or inflicted.
How, how can I possibly say I love you and knowingly do and say **** to hurt and destroy you spiritually, emotionally,  physically, mentally.
What the fauq kind of mom raises duality of hateful love
Despising your beginnings once finding out what the origin was about.
Only once in your version and who talks first I suppose win the prize of saying far too much.
Afraid of a tarnishing of my own causing
Hurting the eneme caused from within.
Figure out what YOU need and want.
I can't and won't be both.
I AM ONLY ONE HUMAN
ONE PERSON,ONE WOMAN
ONE DAUGHTER WITH DAUGHTERZ
ONE MOTHER THREE JOURNEYZ...
Walk with me, not behind
Anything or Anyone...

Where head meets heart
At the junction of fusion
Knots up and or down
Passionately experiencing
Every single draining emotion
Scared of being too afraid
To let anyone else in
Belonging only to you
Please be careful con mi...

Mid morning Awakeningz to the sounds of drops on windowz amidst the angst of longitudinal infliktionz Rizing inching cruelly intended pleazurez deep in the spiral bindingz of a twisted spirituality preyz after praises of prayers headz held so high needz no occasion to rize yet and still motionless jirrations yeildz explosive erruptionz of spazmatic proportions. All contraktz signed eyez dotted and Teaze linez. I need you to tap my epicenter and tell me whatz at the core of my reigning? Do you mind me singing while you stroking? Aye Great Rizingz, water is wet when itz raining. Muah!!!

An awakening spirit
Prisoner of will
Enamored by
A captivating morbidly resting soul
Crystallized energies
Prohibiting thermic effects
Necessary to absorb
Expended physicalities
Trapped in amberesque
Prehistoric mentalities
Rebellious knowledge
Attempting excavations
Of unadulterated wisdoms
Not acquired oratorical rhetoric
Separated by oceans of Disparaging indespensible essences
Passed through generations
Heirlooms of distorted truth
I embark on an eternal Internalized tumultuous journey
Of protecting ME from ME!!!

She didn't let go, He refused to hold on
Quietly moving in opposite directions
Noone saying or said it's over or done
Loathingly despising his Mrs. Right
Contemptually disdaining her Mr. Wrong
Neither caring to leave the other
Singing another sad song of love
Faded and with the wind, so long gone
Put to musak by many making millions Thanks to a few of my favorites
Monica, Joe, Toni, and oh, Ms. Jackson!

Who can I be
When told for soooo long
That who I am is not right
What makes my life soooo wrong
Who else can tell my story
Tell my tales
Sing my zoulrelm heart'z songz?
If truly loving me
Is to know me
When did we meet again?
I'm having trouble
Thinking about the time
You didn't even care to take
To try to figure me out
But according to you
You love  Me, this stranger
I am to me most days
Beyond the shadows
Of your own doubtz...

Keeping my eyes on me
Seeing you zeeing me
Watching you watch
My every move
Looking right past
Your own mind's eyez
Trying to decipher
The viscosity of this level
Of opaque transparency...

Heavenly father WE are so humbly grateful, 2019 opened with a roof over our family's heads, food in our fridge and our bellies. Our bills paid, clothes on and off our backs by choice. A warm and loving atmosphere for to rest our weary zoulz. WE are grateful for these beds. Ever so thankful for peace of mind,hearts and heartstrings. Never forgetting that this is ALL gifted, and the brothers and sisters not as fortunate as WE. WE pray for humility, and that you help WE help ourselves so WE can humbly help someone else. Our heart's desires and zoul'z prayer
Is that our children's, children's, children's, children's,children's,children's, children's, children's, children
Be better than WE!!!

It's A love affair
When I think of this peace inside
The entire world around WE
Couldn't possibly equate US
Juztuz peanut headz Jordanz
With Fieldz of sweet and sour
Perry Saphire blossoms
Roze one more day
Gifted with the Rizingz
Of the only sunz son
Gave birth to none
Mothers many
Daughterz I have a plenty
That juzt means I'm blessed
And I'm loathingly loved at times
That's just how daughters and Mothers do! It was not supposed
To be us in this blissful hellish
Chaoticly beautiful mess
WE call family
But in the mean time
WE ALL are fine. Justus
No measurements in time
Created to be yours
Far longer than forever
Az you mi amore are mine...

Karmatic klimaxez
Expected boom a rangz
Ringing bellz early
Churches crutched sanctuaries
Foolishly trying  tricks
On gargoyles motoz
What was Quazy thinking
Or was he?
Cheating on his girl
With his gurlz wifey
Upgraded heartz
Don't beat da same
3000 bpm'z a sekond
Far longer than 4evaz minuitez
Tisk Tisk Tisk, Nam
Petty thymez 2
Isn't it Gemini season Baby
Grownups double mynded too Boo!
Happy New Year!!!

Most perils endured
Are initially mentally
Self inflicted
If a man's thinking
Becomes his actions
Or inactions
****! Choices!

Trying so hard to describe
The wealth of pride
Devouring meager hearted mind's
Finding words that says exactly
How blessed WE are for ALL of U
Worst and Best daze
Rock them ALL
Doing what, and how you do
Gracefully exemplifying
Elegant poise properly Proper
I remember the labored pains
Early mornings to later nights
I am so proudly proud
To be mom and then some
Strengthened bonds
Transcending relations
A wonderful woman I've raised
Tears of joy my Jujubug
Tassels in da air
Hatz off, WE fauqin did it!!!
My First Born, Biggest Fan I AM!
My Bestest Best Friend!!!

P.S! Mommy will always luv it! Muah!!!!

This repunzled castled caged
Goddezz hung on
A freezing saviours treez
Bored crozzez
Jesus Cristo
Somewhere out there
Carpetz are ridden
Dreaming big
No pipelines sniffin
Craxk a code encrypted openly
This drag on brought out of me
Firey breaths wordz spoken wizely
Aming to trump
Only myself over me
Rizingz to the occasionz
Of mattering what matters mozt
To the I in ME!!!

Luvly war
Betwixed orchirozez
Rizing exactly 5am
To rocking boats
Surfboarding drunkenness
Stroking lust loves
Calling for mornings
Positions when
We No longer Eating Soggy
ANYTHING!!!
We choose who and what WE want
Needy needs met up with
Tyrone, trying to sneak calls
On prison payphonez
Keep ya eyes on dem bad dues
****! Do they still exist,
Payphones that is?
Apologetic digressions
Diabolicalizimz at my worsts bests
Muzak makes me...

In your eyes
I am chosen to be loved
A delightful apple
Seen carved in
The palm of your hands
So why do I see myself
As a waste of God's time
When will I stop
Listening to the father of lies
And learn to see myself
In your eyes...

How did my zoul taste?
Left not a morsel
For anyone else
On heart's plates
Spirit and mind aligned
Your zoul tasted wonderful
Now! How was mine???

Sabotaging myself
Way more than I should
Chasing away
Any and everyone I could
Petrified of
Constantly getting hurt
Painfully lyvyng in isolationismz
Unfortunately is all my heart
Has ever known...

Ever been to a funeral
And thought, that is going
To be your plightful end!!!
Peaceful rest or regrettable hell?

The problem is
I talk far too much
Saying anything and everything
To any and everyone
Knowing I couldn't
Count on any platform
To just vent
And juzt be listened to
I don't trust myselves
With Me
I just knew
I shouldn't have tried to
Trust myself with you...

I do but I don't
Want to fauq with you
You have become
Too familiar
Too easily accessed
Far too
Comfortably available
That's why I keep finding
My way back to you...

Let's get one thing straight
You don't know me  
Nothing about me
So you cannot miss me and please Mizz me with the dumbfauqery
Of you loving me because your
Wordz are more lymp
Than your aktionz!

On the edge of
Eternity my zoulz
Hanging in the balance
Howling to Libra moonz
Dem scaly fyshez
Fyzhing 4 zhe
Syrenz skreamz
Smitten mermenz
Mermaids all unda
Poseidon'$ trident
Trinityz rule
Mind, Body &Spirit aligned
Brought these deep sea thoughtz
To mine. Mindfulness sublime.
Skorpyoed heartz
Acknowledge your criez
Home iz where our Zoulz lay no lie!

Focusing on the
Next level constantly
Being grateful
For the current path
Of life's journeys
Humbly blessed
This one life gifted me
Pressing toward a mark
Only I need, see...

Have so many dreams
No illusive delusional
Cracked pipe thing
Entrepreneurship, buying, selling
Owning real wealth that
Spans and feeds and clothes
Generation's on generations
On G.E.N.E.R.A.T.I.O.N.Z!!!!!!!!

Ok so to you
I may not
Ever be gud enuff
Fakt is
I see my greatness
And that
Iz far betta than
Your perception of good
Because I'm learning
I Matter
More than what
Anyone, yes even you should!!!

Every **** time
I find my sunglasses
I loose them again
Simply because
They were cleverly acquired
They really were never mine
Purchased possession
Every single summer
Ugh every **** time

P.S I keep promising to replace them

Faktz of lyvyng
Don't hate me
When I'm beau ti ful
Hate me
In da mourning
I'm muthafauqin
Zexy *** Fauq Den
Great Rizingz
Ly! Onez pridez
Are showing
Dey got big
Eeeeegoooozzzzzzz
It'z Leo Zeazoningz Gemz!!!
Nam Habibi! FLT4ADG Nam!!!

You had
Someone
That loved you
Far more than
You loved them
And or love
Yourself...

Know my faceless name
I'm coming for my fortunes
Might let you keep your fame
Your forty acres
And that stubbornly mule
Strangly hanging fruits
Diamond mynded,purest goalz
Adam anti um
Killing healing zoulz...

Christianity
Has been a dish
Served hot, cold and lukewarm
My entire existence thus far
Meanwhile, I just ever
Wanted to hold tight to
The peace I find in God.

Think and move with your heart
Everyone around mind's on tap
Seeing long before, the inevitable
But head first into inner me's traps
Many times hit before it hurts
How hot the flames of your own
Decided hell before you burnt
When are you going to start living
For the love of a jealous God alone
When will you stop chasing others
Lost love of fathers and mothers
Heirlooms of generational curses
Piped dreams, hopes and wishes
Loving hard and ever watcful of
All signs driving or walking along
This road called life, never lonely
Never forgetting if they don't
Love the way you need and want
Your love is good enough for God
Whoever chooses to come along
And if only by yourself, your love
Is good enough for you alone!

If I folk uz, on you
Where the fauq that leaves me?
Bifocaling laser correcting
How I see my focuses to be.

It's not just ***
What is just ***?
Considering all the
Possible sacrifices
*** can cause one to make
Maybe in one's nievety
Or thoughtless youth
I on the other hand
Never ever wanted
To have *** with
Anyone else but
My own husband.
Let alone being
Married more
Than once
And divorce
In one life's
Lifetime
Unrequited indeed Ugh...

Let's talk perceptions
Inherently our very own
Seen and seeing most things
Your way far too long
Caught in confusing chaos
Turned the home of breaking hearts
Into an abandoned house
All to ready for setting up shop
Havoc'$ palace to freely roam
Welcomed under love's disguise
Over a decade of squatter's rights
Eviction not without many fights
Destroyed celing to foundation
Hated and blamed, the creation. For
Everything chosen to do or not to do right and or wrongz...

Hart O Kool KAP
It's 5 Oklok in da mourning yuh see
Duppy really really knew
Juzt how to frighten me
Way back when WE
Had childish men2boyz tality
To think someone like you
Could ever overstand
Deez nutz iz far bigga than yours
If you ain't feeling it already
You and yours will feel
It soon come faster than
A speeding bullet eventually
You and yours gooooiiiiiin learnn

Jumping into character
Assuming personalities
Befitting particular situations
Cameras lighting up actions
Selling souls over likes, favs
Friend requests and acceptions
Verbally diarrheaing via calls
Texting social media platforms
Hitting homes harder than a night AT
The Oscars ***** slapping comedians
Wondering before all this socializing
What in the world did mere Mortals
Do without trying to be famously
Pleasing every, any, and absolutely
No One??????????????????????

Great Rizingz
Gorgeous woman of God
I know you don't
Usually do Mondays
But how could you not
Since today and everyday
The Lord has made
I'm grateful
For ALL the blessings
I know I don't  deserve
And humbly grateful for
ALL I've got...

I don't need anyone to agree with me
I just want the same ovastandyng
Respekt I choose to lovingly give.
In other words keep your judgements
To yourselves and just pray for me
Not on the weaknesses you think you see or lie, gossip, and talk about me
Only behind my back of course! Cause the right to face my accusers always
Seem to be elusively eluding to me!!!

Walked around
Smelling shitay
For hours
Didn't realize
Attached to the
Soul of my shoes
That repugnant stench
Trailing me was you.
Ugh toxicity'$ disdain
That thin line is no divide
Double dotted you multiplied
Hateful thoughts of you
That once regarded our loathsome
Love so muthafauqin high...

Golden queendom
Proudly shining
Melinated jewels
Dropping gems
Tireless examples
I'm not responsible
For what you may
Or may not believe
It's simple, really!
Doing my bestest
To get some of this life right...
Concerned with ongle my ****** ****
Is Dat aiight?

Methodical plan of escaping
Far away from this painful
Pruning.
Bruiser battered ego
No room at any inn
For wounded zoulderz
Impeccable smouldering
Behind evil eyez
Giddily welcoming innocence
Far more organized than I
This den of joy thieves.

You honestly think
I don't know how
To get rid of you
If I truly want
To be done with you?
Sadly mistaken
Unless I allow
You will never
Know the truth
And nothing but boo...