Hurtful soul
Broken spirit
Every single cracking crevice
Please let the lights of moon and sun
Back in, meltimg winters of
Cold bitter loneliness
Finding yourself ever
Is just a matter of where to look
Dear Lord, here's my existence
I'm begging please, guide me!!!

Be very careful
When you call
This heart your home
The irreparable damage
You do
If you so choose
May very well be the
Demise of your Own..

If I keep
Looking for you
How, when and where
Would I even begin
To find the me lost within
The subconscious of my
Existential chasings???

Ughhhhhhhh
Love literally
Made me sick
The sight,  the smell,
Ugh the mere sound
Or mention of it
I hate myself for
Wanting, needing
Longing while yearning
That some aspect of you
Could want to be true
Ughhhhhh love, you, you
Hurtful, hateful, loveless
Love struck fool...

So many depressing
Thoughts rushing
Through my head
Don't know where
To start feeling better
About existing as is
While always wanting
And needing to do
And most certainly
Be better than the
Bitterness of regret
Grappling, holding fast
To familiar tendencies
Looking for hard, but
Could never see myselves
In me...

This heart can't afford
To allow hurt to make it
Full of hate, bitterness, or anger
When betterment only makes
Decisions moving forward better

I have not been
As naive about love
As love has been about me
I know for a matter of fact
That in perfect love there
Can only be peaceful peace
Space and time where chaotic
Confusion has no choice but
To cease existing...