Holding on
To things and people
Passed their appointed Seasons and Reasonings
Makes letting go of it or them
Far harder than it should be...

The ill wills
And negativity
We don't wish
For ourselves
We should not
Wish for anyone else
Weather we love them
Like them dislike or even
Hatefully despise them
As a person or their actions...

In the most sacred
Places of my mindful heart.
I am a love sick child needing And wanting attention and Affection all the time.
Yearning for a fulfilling
My inner being once knew
Searchingg for that peaceful love,
Found thus far Lord only in you!!!

Eyes bloodshot and hurting
Still the tears won't stop falling
Struggling to forgive others
Because I struggle so very hard
To forgive myself and believe
That God has truly forgiven and loves even me...

She was so pure so innocent
Insecure and broken at her core
Her smiles, laughs, jovial nature
Masked the way she felt inside
Fighting back tears all the time
That protects her fragile pride
"I don't want to be her anymore"
Whispered through weary sighs
Before bed each night praying To make her wrongs right
Cause regret is a hell of it's own
Shameful fear grips her mindful
Heart! Nothing, nowhere and
No one is safe anymore
Stranger to herself with no
Familial bond, knowing heaven
Is her only true home...

Love you far more
Than you could ever imagine
Love was never enough to,
Make anyone do the right thing
Was never about getting over u
But getting back to the better in
Me, I always known existed
The God in me you chose not to
See, but deemed godless
When I returned the hate
I didn't deserve, that you so
Liberally served me first.
Thread lightly when trying
To destroy God's chosen...

In black and white
I leave the best and
Worst parts of me
Pieces that hide
In plain sight of
My oxymoronic peace
Raw emotional dis eases
Buried amongst illuminations
Of light's invisibilities
While somewhere along the way
The best and worsts of me
Is being left in black and white
For chosen and unchosen
Selected and unselected to critic...