Some people don't
Know what's a struggle
Others only know how
To survive through it

What is sad
Is that someone else
May benefit from ALL
The time I wasted loving you
Hoping, wishing, praying
Begging, needing, just wanting
You to treat me the way I
Knew in my heart of hearts
I deserved, or at the very least
Treat me how you want to be
Treated yourself, or hell just
Treated right...

I want to choose myself
I've needs, wants and desires
I too want my life to count
I want to know how to simply
Not be hated, or feel bad
About putting myself first
Place in my own existence
To be partly about me at times
I want better and I don't think
I should ever end my quest
In the pursuit of my own
Inner and outer peaceful joy
Of my latter day's happenings
Simply to lay down my life
For other's who may or may
Not be worth me hurting for
Since told by brother Bob
That everybody I meet or know
In my lifetime will, not if hurt me
Man listen even in my self hating
I myself have hurt me and even
Though I have paid handsomely
For kicking my own ***, Jim
I still can love me better
Than only I know how now
And far better than I have Mary!!!

Doing rat ****
In ratcheting ratty
Uneighbourly hoods
Try looking carefully
Before biting Eve, cause
That one poisoned apple
Made the whole lot of them
Rotten to their core, yup
Absolutely NO ****** good!

Hmmm! You know
I can preach it well
Even gives great advice
But do I really hear or listen
When my mind's eyes
Speak to my heart's
Bountiful contentment
Or adhere to the spiritual
Warnings that come from
The epicenter of my soul?
And if not, why my love? Why?

You are pathological
At your worstest best
Lying is sport and a hobby for you
Weather awake or at rest
Please be mindful though
Whatever is done in the dark
Has a way of coming to light
Experience should have
Already taught you so...

You are angry at me for being me
For trying to protect my love that was
Being used abhorrently against me
You could've loved me
And let me love you unconditionally
As I stll and will forever do
You've used my love to fight for you
Because you've always known
It's expansive magnitude
I've always prayed for you
To first get to know you
You are so much grander than
Some of your thoughts of you
The hate you are trying so hard to give
Is dull in comparison to the love of God
I was blessed and charged to instill
That shines in and through you...