In your eyes
I am chosen to be loved
A delightful apple
Seen carved in
The palm of your hands
So why do I see myself
As a waste of God's time
When will I stop
Listening to the father of lies
And learn to see myself
In your eyes...

Not sure if
I want to kidult today
This ridiculous ***
Double standard adulting
Keeps constantly
Getting in the way of
My partying's bullshitting ways
Of course you can have
This puzzling conundrum
Posing as my best existence
Fix it and put it together nicely
All I need, is to examine
It  thoroughly before
You can even think
Of giving it back...

I need your help
To break the hold
This life has on me
Living a right just life
Just rightly is not
Only my soul's desire
It's what my innermost
Being is fearfully
And wonderfully
Created to be...

It's not easy
Living a Christ like life
God please I can't do anything
Without your guidance or help
Lord I'm not sure if
I'm doing things right
If I'm loving my neighbor
If I am as forgiving as I can
Especially wantingly needing Forgiveness for myself
I have no clue if my heart is pure
We ALL sin, and fall short
I know of that for sure
So how can I put my hands
To the plow and never look back
Boldly say for Christ I live
And Christ I die and seriously
Mean to mean it as I was taught?

Reaping the bitterness
Of seeds sown
Weather by my own hands or
Curses trickling
Down to seven generations
All because disobedience
In trying to at once
Serve more than one
Mastering none!

Deep in my epiphanies
My mind's eyes can't help
But see what and who
You think you perceive of me
The God in me notices no bigger
Flawed being to be
Perfect for all my purposes
Created in the image
We only aspire to see beyond
On the throne of my heart
Where only the treasures
Of the pieces of my peace dwell
I let you in, ignorant to
The fact that I opened
The gates to my own living hell...

Caught a fish two days ago
Fishing is very rewarding
I have decided
If I  am to be a looser at life
As some of my hateful
Supporters suggest
And suggested
I will be a happy looser
Since my choices are mine to make
Is being caught in a 22
For my sake
I just pray
The right decision is made
Because accepting responsibility
Means placing blame on no one!!!