If I was to just
One more time
Have una mas tiempo
Please, por favor
You hate to see me
Ask longingly
Begging is beneath me
So I'm pleading passionately
When you peer into
The windows of my inner sanctum
See me! I am real you know
Imperfect perfection
This lub dub, is no artificial spark
It's a real heart with it's very own
Emotional heart beat...

When it's meant to be
Isn't it supposed
To be a little easier than this?
These are most certainly not
The sheets on the bed that I made
How dare I lie here
As we lay here
Can you pay a little attention
To the very little details
Of little ole me
Just you and I
The focal point of
US never eating soggy waffles EVER! Come up to the level WE
This song in my head
Is relentlessly unashamed
Playing on repeat
This stranger gracing my bed
Introduced himself very well!

I'm so broken
The shattered peacez
Of my soul hurt so good
Because when the clouds fade
I will be better for choosing
To choose the God in me
That first chose ME!!!

What I want is irrelevant to you
What I need is paramountly
Conducive to my peace of mind
This ghetto, ratchet, chaotic
Way you choose to exist, Is sooo
Beneath the way I live my life
I cannot be who you want or need
Not when all you seem to be doing
Is wasting your life, and my very
Precious nonrefundable time...

Trying to process
What I'm feeling
What's going on in my mind
Trying to know
What I'm knowing
Why is my soul so
Emotionally unfulfilled
Most of the time?
Needing to overstand
The despair I constantly
Stand under
Praying and hoping
That one day things will just be Better...

Don't want to be
Hurtfully hateful and angry
For the rest of my life
It's not the will of God
That anyone least of all me
Live in constant tumultuous strife
To hold on to painful experiences
I have allowed all my days
To not get free through
Prayerful praise
Don't want emotions
To control my day to day
Want to live in the promise
That forgiveness is as real as sin
And my life has purpose
I'm not just living in vain.

I do self hating
Things I often regret
Like sharing my inner most secrets
Hoping you do as you say
When I tell you things
You claim to quickly forget
Until a Freudian slip
And ALL my business
Flows out of your lips
How can WE build
What you inconsiderably
Constantly break?
How much betrayal
Is one heart created to take
I've been told, I hold onto the past
Well what did WE learn then
To make things now last?
How do I trust you
When I barely trust myselves
So afraid of looking back
And terrified by what's next?
Praying for tranquility
In this peaceful hell