Tried to be what you
Wanted of me
Put morals and faith aside
To be accepted for
The me you needed to see
Losing pieces of my peace
Trying hard for you
To love me for me
We are too far gone
There's no love lost or found
In this unwholly matrimony
We've become friendly foes
With barricaded hearts
Chained together
In our houseless homes
Afraid to go back to being alone
Petrified of unwelcomed
Possible hurt or pain unknown...

What you do for others
Don't expect the same
To be done to or for you
By the very same people
Growing up, I'd often
Hear my mother say
Was that the bitterness
Of disappointment
Or are things in life
Really just that way?

Don't need you
Longingly wanting though
Every passionate thing
Ever done by us
More than just twice
Bellybutton and below kisses
Throat coating magnitudinal
Expressions of magnificence
Desiring long after this
One presented gift of OUR lives.

Trying to come to terms
With being loved
Treated justly justifiably right
Respectively respected
Comfortable communications
For the rest of my daze
Even if only in this lifetimes life
Taking time to honestly
learn to appreciate each other
Some real realizing ****
I'm not entitled to the GOD in YOU
Truly measured wealth
Earnest knowledge only WE2
Knowing the me I hide
From shining through
Fearful of letting me get so into U
Fearful of anymore hurt
Least of all
Birth from perceived truthz
Repressing **** isn't
Something I like
It's juzt something
I was taught to do.
Trying so hard to change
Until I recognize Myselves in ME!!!

You have no idea
What it's like being me
I'm not craving fame
It's the successes of
Accomplishments I want
I long for my gifts
To proudly speak for me
The foreground
Has never been my thing
Behind the scenes
Has always been
This stringless, puppetless
Masters zone.

I am a fake
A pure phony
Dying behind the scenes
Of unaccomplished
Accomplishments
Missing a love
I NEVER HAD
Living in darknesses
Of the unblind
Mortally combating
Serenity on the battlefield
If only of my own mind

Did I conjure you
Were you a delusion
Did your love not exist
Was it all a creation in my mind
Did WE not lay head to chest
Never eating soggy anything
Let alone waffles at our worsts
Best WE ever had
We loved you the most
Let you in to our inner sanctum's
Deepest parts, our existentialism
Did WE not bear, carry, and birth
Where truthful lies did hurt
Honesty's unforgiving sting
Was none of it really the truth
You could've just gotten
What you initially came for
You didn't have to pretend
Cause watching your act
Way back when is what
Made me and kept me
Slipping, Tripping, and Falling
For the illusion you gave of you.