The world and all I knew
All I could see and ever wanted to......
Came into view so vividly
Far away complicated things
Dissolved with ease
My whole existence suddenly
Bent into a distinct curvature
To a central focal point
And now my world revolves
Around you......
I live to love you
And I love loving you.......
And now I just need someone to say it to.......

Control ......
Le et them believe ,
The secret war they wage ,
Is what keeps the shackle
From their sleeve.
Let them believe!.........
Feed them what they need
To weave the web that keeps them on their knees......
Never let the wounds  heal ,
Always in all ways be ye vigilant
Alternate the hate
Lower  their eyes down with it
Keep the pain of eternal flame lit
Let the pick of the week be named
Focus the blame
And douse the louse
With ignorant accelerant  
Make them walk in the way of Cain for a minute .   ..  
Beat them over the nose with it
And let the melting *** boil  
Wet the soil with blood
Sensationalize
The emotional flood will darken their eyes and macerate them with doubt.....
let the apprehension rise
Never let the fire go out
The people will begin to see what was fake and what is real.
And without the use of media
You will be free to feel ..      
Love will infiltrate and as a people you will begin to congeal
And unite
As one .
Lift your eyes and not see the looming haze of oppression
Walk freely without  fear of aggression
For this will seal  our fate  
We the government
Have no escape route

So please read
But be bored by it
And be not convicted
Or you will  regret it

And you say we give you no choice.........

NOW
Back to work you fools
We need money    .....
And
And and and and and and and an, an, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
I can't take it anymore!

All these insinuations
Everery bodies
Infatuated with!
Established by design,
Product of an insecure mind set.
Become this albatross
I wear around my neck.....
It no longer protects me .
I have to protect it... 
My reputation  
Monstrosities
An eclectic mosaic of debaucheries which have earned me my claim to fame yet only
Merited by deeds known only by me.... .
It's an illusion ......
I mean these things I let them think they see

It's  enough for what they need...
Really it's a drop falling into an ocean    ......
But it's all exclusive to those I let in .......
And I allow them to sojourn within this mirage   ....
So I can feel some guilt and shame and tus continue in my game
....like . ...
A phantom .......
Machiavellian in dichotomy,
With split personality ...
On the outside I pretend to be
Mr. Hyde hididing from what's inside..
Dr. Jeckle I presume .......
A bored and hungry jackle .....
I see the world as my prey......
Over me thin grey clouds
And the blood moon looms
I kakle.......
hunched chasing my tail   ..
I wail and leave my snout up...
Prevailing winds bring the cent of my next victim .  ..
And the sympathy they   will get
****** me me off to a certain
Extent ......I have not found a way to get around that quite yet... .
So I have some regret .....
For now   . 
In effect
I must react quicker and bigger
In ways they won't expect... Swimming with sharks
I'm a dog ......
It's dog eat dog
It's getting too crowded
For me here....
Scarrs are so thick
I don't bleed anymore ....

Yet they still test me ........


So what else am I suppose to do!

When will the favorable
Winds blow my way again .
I wonder........
And I wonder.....
When will my vanity
And pride fall from my eyes,
Allow me to see the real me
I wonder .......
As I wander .........
I ponder on petty things....
The more I breathe
The less of me i see ,
Entombed within these
Walls made of masks
Portraying appropriate personalities ,
In different social settings,
The chameleon ,
Masquerading,
Machiavellian  .
Star lit charlatan.........
So many people I've been ,
Too many to ponder........
I really try not to....
Still I wander......
And as I do ....
I can't help but to wonder
Do people see me the way
I have wanted them to?
Some I do .......
Most I don't.....
Either way
Do or don't want to play
The part
Still just a Wanna be.
Lost in a fantasy......
In a sea of my dreams....
I walk upon the waters .......
Peacefully I gaze deeply
Down  at my reflection
I see my eyes reflecting the sky's....
And I wonder .........
A lonely tear distorts the vision
And as the ripples flow in each direction........
Dissipating in amplitude and frequency .........
Until I can't see ......
Still I believe if not for the shore
They will they go on ......
And the implication .......
Regardless intentions ,
Different dynamics,
Will view my deeds from different perspectives .
And tales will be told ,
The ripples you create.....
Radiate ....
From love ........
Can cause someone to hate
And .........
If you are not being you.....
How can you offer defense....
Only those you have completely fooled
Might believe you......
I see connection .........
You aren't judged how you feel.....
But by actions you do
Which reflect and refract
And with every act is a reaction
And it's true .......
Johnny Cash can tell you.....
"Bad news travels like wildfire.
Good news travels slowwweww.
They all call me wildfire,
Cause everybody knowwowos
Im bad newwwwws."
Every body want to .....
Believe rumours about you .
That way they feel a little better about    
What they do ...
And so I ponder in my minds eye..
Each disguise reflects certain aspects of the real me.
And if could actually remove all these masks ......
Who would I be?
The question continually haunts me.........
Who am I?




I wander in wanderlust
Drunken  on my memories.
Laced with my perspective....
I have to believe .....
Each masquerade ,
My intention for every role I've played........
Was to help someone see
You don't have to pretend to be someone your not
Just to fit in .....
Does that make me hypocritical?
I wonder ....

Can't count how many times..
I forgave you ,
For leaving me , bleeding ,
Offering me no atonement,
Laughing as my spirit died
I yearned for the grave...
I sacrificed and freely gave
Until my everything run empty...

Our want should not
Surpass our needs!
Prone to podsnappery ,
The term human race ,
Contrary to popular belief
Is not a  communal  competitive
Relay with the trophy of prosperity to all whomsoever
Shall win..... Infact there is no destination at all.
This gauntlet we run is tribunal!
Let me ask you this.......
Will "we" ever mean "all" ?
I mean it does when I say
We have to have something
To take the focus away from our deeds.
So the day we decided that we need a leader .......
Was a day of infamous treachery.
With our mouth  we said ,
"It is our wish to bow down and
Become followers......
In our hearts as individuals we said ," I don't want to be held accountable"!
My own heartbeat disturbs me
Like a muffled drum I hear the chant from everyone ,
So long ago ...... I guess it could be said that "our"ancestors  may have done some questionable things  .......
Listen ...... Not my family though ,
No!
And that's not me ......
We were on your side.....
Belief is in the eyes of the controller ....
Gass lit , "we "  "the people"
Pretend to be hypocrite,
eminent domain , manifest destiny!
Sons and daughters,
Mother's and father's elders and babies,
**** pillage and slaughter.......
Red man Blacks and Jews,
Just to remind you that even pedigrees have flees ....
"We" are nothing
As long as we follow the scapegoats bleats .
Sycophants in denial ,
We leave a trail of unimaginable grief ....... For what?
Money ? That isnt real!
Imaginary boundaries ?
"They" are different ?
"We" are better ?
Are we ?
Who are we?
I am me
Being different is what makes us the same.
Let's not try!
Let's "be" SAME TEAM"
It's my dream ..
I know I'm not the only one!

Indulge yourself ,
Drink from this cup
That Alice  just left me,
Do you see what I see?
I see me wondering why ?
Why do I create a third person
Within my mind ,
Only to view , silently .....
Me .
Looking spry and dressed well,
Giving the wisest council to broken hearted friends or family
Wellll I guess to anybody...
And almost simeoutanesly
In view of those people years in advance ,
Prospered well from it....
And discussing it amongst each other and my heart feeling
Vindicated by seeing the admirations from the third person.......
So why is it from my heart I see my mind as something great,
Full of wisdom and the humblest person I know ... I know lol.
With certain assets in certain aspects I can shine like the facets of a jewel ....
when my mind views my heart....
Long heavy sigh .......
It's a fool,
A tool,
Not cool .....
Slight left side drool .
I'm goin to sleep .
And then I think ....
Hmmmm
If I had another brain.......
It would be lonely.......

I sojourn  silently,
Under the indigo blue marquee ,
The Grand masquerade
That's me there ......
Crooked crown ,
Distant stare,
Wearing out my only mask
Upside-down frown,
tattooed tear under my left eye
Free.......
If only I could be ......
Free from this fractured lucidity
Licked by the leathery whips
Of yesterday's !
Belly laughing and joyful things
Obscure as time moves on...
But the secrets I keep
Never fade!

I suppose it could be said ive become an icon clast .....
While the shallow over egotistical continually impede ...
Saying slow down and look at the big picture ....
I see it clearly ....... Always ....
I'm frantically making adjustments and provisions ...
Augmenting what I can to align things so it becomes the way I want it to be.......
The problems lie in the fact that they can't recognize the effort or the outcome ..  

And so when I fall short .... There right there to tell me I ****** up.... Never knowing they were the reason why   . .
When I can find time.
Alone I cry.

Meanwhile  back at the bungalow.......we return to the disturbing scene,
The unsung hero
Off center ,struck a pose ,
Face grimaced ,
Still ,
Stoic ,
Alone ............
Not counting
Toys in the attic......
That and the carnage of collateral damage.......
Covered in the remains
Of bags he brought full of
Everything from morality to mortality,intentions,malignant vengeance .....and open ended scenarios fallen crest ego and
Self induced ticks and twitches
Wraught by  a lifetime of  
"shoulda said ,wished I woulda and coulda been "
All these ,
And all his family and friends
Pretend to be shocked at
Cationic  discontinued
***** boy they once counted on....
Gone   too far into his psyche
Burning the midnight oil
On how far can we
Leave behind the point
Of no return
To learn if it could be
A correlation to the feeling free...
Or is it a paved path into a
Wasteland he's hunting for
Anything that be more
Fulfilling than being high
Up on the watch tower .wondering why ....
Are they running and asking why


Alone
In the gloaming

Motionless.

Stoic
see me
Ground zero in the beginning
The faze of the  full moon caught in the eclipse of a maddening
****** of crows

A hidden  maelstrom grows
The quest continues...

Metaphorically

As  fractal tracks flow
Following the personified  Donnita Darko down rabbit holes
Underground she gives in to easily .......
Conditioned to believe
That domestication
Equals castration.....
Slips out before the train leaves the station........
On
Nocturnal  
Internal I go
We find
What I thought this entire time ...
The simple complicated truth
Is ..... This.......
Idk!

It's like a need......
...
Like an involuntary seed,
.......
If it germinates ......
It's no longer a want .......
It's a haunting obsession
Causing urgency to do right
And bravery imbues you.....
You exchange fate for destiny.
Your life becomes currency .......
What an honor to spend ....
When it's for freedom .....
Sending shivers.......and delivers
Ripples through generations of time....
The legend of you and your comrades...
Lifting the weak and subdued to new heights...
clearing the minds
They bask in the righteous
Battle you waged .....
And the good fight you fought ....
They howl from painful memories
Bittersweet tears onto victory
Strike fear to the heart of the enemy
Rising up like the sun ....
They shall carry on inspiring hope ...
As an honor to pay homage in remembrance of you....

It s like an integrated autonomous innocent being
You can't see but you will fight to protect and preserve above
Everything .. ... .
It's lyke an .......
It's like an artesian well
Spring inside......springs ..
It's like an incurable vine
Twined spiraling up your spine .
A separate entity......  
It feeds .....from the spring ....
In your mind you justify ,appeal
Try to reason with it....  
To no avail . ....
It's lycan.......
It's like An addiction ,
Lycan insatiable yet righteous greed ......
A healthy one indeed ......
Self perpetual.......
There's not a problem .....untill someone tries to take it from you.........
And It's lycan .. ......
Stiffens the spine .... .
And the hackle flicks up like needels.........
flings sweat into mist.. .. 
Eyes turn black ,
Lip unfurling .
K9's exposing.....
Coiling back .....like a tensioning
Spring........
Won't be treated like a dog being
Beaten for loyalty......... 
Bites the fist that swings ..  ..
And the taste of blood is sickeningly sweet......
It lycan unwritten law  
You have not authority
Nor reason ......
Dont touch me ....
Leave me be .....
It's lycan............
It  becomes lycanthropy ....
Don't touch my freedom ......
I'll bite everyone and you can't fight this infection .....
Freedom is out there and I'm
Lycan animal with the spirit and appetite to win ...
And I'm hungry like the wolf ......
Never give in ........
The bear attacks in vain .....
The wolf pack will not be tamed!

Look deeply into my eyes
Deep enough that I may know
You understand me.....
Give me vantage to see the real you
So I will have a clear conscious.
An I won't have to pretend
The pain you caused me
Was not an accident.
So I can fade you into my shadow and never need to see you again!

Spent my life , like currency I hadn't earned...  
Winds of vanity , filled my sails of pride,
Ooooooooh ....
Iiiiiiiiii was that lucky man..........
............
Iiiiiiii.........really thought ,
Iii...was.......
The loves I have held ,
Truth be told ........
I really was........
..........
Wanderlust in love ,
Chemical imbalance,
Butterflies my stomach
like a little too much Vicodin,,,,,
Infatuation  is such a rush,
That sweet sickening rush
Free falling in
In full admittance headlong in love with my addiction to love
Chasing a high ,
As time became a jealous thing
.....faded years from my memories.....spurned .....tiptoed past ,didn't want to disturb me .....
Now I can find no limits ....and even less remittances....  
Lost in limmerance.
Sails are slack ......lost at sea....lonely ...
Darkening the skies
Plumes  of fear
For I know what lies.......
Inside this
Burgeoning Epiphone  .....
Within my minds eye
As everything has dulled around me........
.......(silently picture a reflection of me in a tear drop from my eye caught in a wrinkle I have never seen .......
And I'm trying to avoid awaking...I don't want to see    
Whats become of me ......
I wanna go back and dream ....
Of .........
Me .....
In love .....
With me

In wardly an awkward line ,
Lies........
Somehow betwixt kudos and mockery.
And generally a ***** or an incline
Determination of which ....
Established sadly by the one walking it.
I. E. ME, growing up lacking temperament and confidence,
I told everyone I wanted to be a comedian........
They all laughed at me.......
I took it the wrong way
And tried to be a poet .
I think maybe I was  a little to sensitive....
Life,........
Isn't funny .....
Er idk........
So yah follow your heart .
But have some fun and don't be so ...
Idk .....

Like me ......

It's not an entitlement
Ya'll need to curb that...
K Fur real though
And it's not conceit.
And yes I do  know
The difference between
Want and need.......
Two totally different things
Except,
to me  they share one thing
They're are both something I need!

Serenade me...
my soon to be........
Love..........  .
play 12 string guitar ,
Sitar ........ or just sing
Anything really......
Please .....
Love
find my frequency .....
harmonize
Open mine eyes
And make me ............ ,
Believe I am worthy of someone
.....     Wanting me.
Just one note to cajole
A silhouette of how I used to be
Is all I need
Then I can be me again
Then at least I can dream again.
Breath ..again
Be......
Able ...........
To fade out the scars
The infidel overdosed me in.....

Aqua-marine tourmaline
Turning emerald green evening
Wrist slash ruby red splash feeling
Crystal clear diamond tears glisten bright glimmering.
Flowing from pressure below
Building
Swelling
Wells at the brink
Frigidity super imposed icy wind
Surely shatter
Tungsten carbide lined chest cavity
infrastructure
Freezing
Excruciating
Concentrating all the pain
Radiating from the throat
Swallowing sand covered brick
Abrading slowly
So slowly
At the apex of max capacity
Emotional collapse imminent
Listen ..............millions of
Champagne glasses
Tink ting tingling exhaling
Tears release
Falling like hail at first
Then into a crescendo
Loosing my grip ......I'm slippin
Broken I'm letting go ......
Break down I'm falling winds whistling I can see rock bottom
Phone rings ........ .  .......
It's my ***** .......
He say
..
Bro bro.......
Aint nothin but a thing!
But go ahead and cry if you have to...
It's cool ,ain't no shame .....
(Big baby)
Stf up.
(Whaaa?  
Just saying)
I'm just messin with ya .
My friend is here to console me
Its gonna be
Ayite.

Can I gaze into this cerebral soup,
return with evidence
Suggesting that I have had one second within a lifespan
In wich I could have been found
Void of an agenda.......
I believe this to be a quest
Of a life.... What's good to you
Subconsciously a mind will consume
Every scenario, from one ridiculous
End of the spectrum. To the other
Awake at rest a sleep or talking.
You don't even know that you know.
Find away to transform your muse
To create upon this marble an utopian
Dream ......
Let's all together till we can see
Let's dream and chase this
Together it happens .
Together it's impossible to find anything impossible.....
You will make history
Bend to your script ..
Let's make same team accent .
Lets do it
Let it begin
Now!

Some day I believe
There there will come
A time
In which I might think ,
That I ........
Retrospectively
Wished I would have
Seen this coming..
Then again that would have surely taken some of the fun out of it.
Cause knowing me....
If I had known..............
I dont think I would have done it
I  know I would have done it anyway......
And there's one more  reason why ,
Its so sorta unrewarding
To read books backwards

Why then .   .  .shall mine,
Heart inner walls and galleries.
Be not draped about
In such lush crushed velvet drapes and tapestries?
In plush deep daydreamy hues
Scarlet,crimson, or sanguineous ,
Which ever term
you use.
As long as it depicts the color of my muse ....
Intricate and brash
Yet refined raw and delicate

Variegated elegantly with
varied shades,
Each new love I invite in
Having artistic differences ,
As they often do
prefer Carte Blanche
To make love look
How they feel it.
For peradventure,
If I keep decor from an old love,,
Its the same as making them to blame for past pain.......
If your looking to loose
Thats the game for you..
I used to play it that way
Now I play the blues.
Over paid my dues.
Soul still bruised
Still feel the noose
And the short leash
Id run to the end
And thrash like,a spastic
They have all trained in
Emotional war tactics
Any attempt to fight back are in vain.
Their urbane
Splash stains of ratsbane,
Purple me ......
Then leave......
All vanity .
Ampersand,
Lies imbue questionnaires,
And rosy bruises replace
All this superfluous covering where love used to sojourn so beautifully.
Now the walls are a pale glossy sorta yellow .
even though the crimson flow of slow blood flow through it  .
Scars of  unwant
Disallow a chance to stain them..
Oh Love will thou come back to me again.... .
I adore thee ,
I am empty.
A fresh canvas I offer thee.
Yours wantingly
........Me.

Pitch black ...
Frozen in silence .....    
Somethin cold just moved in.
Got your hackles up
And you know its full of vengence .
Goose bumps ,heart pumps.
Foot steps..
Thump......
Thump........
Thump......
Tension burning thick
Blinding white light
Rips crackling through the sky.
When your vision comes back
You see me
Eyes smouldering
Bloodshot focused like a lazer beam.
And the thunder rolls
And with it falls....
RAIN PAINS .....
COLD CHAINS AROUND MY NECK,
Remember me and what you said
Well the old me is dead and gone
Waited so long for apologies.
Too late snake
Time to bleed.....
Tell me now how
Im old
fake gold
Bought sold
Sell out wanna be.
Has been
You who pretended to be my friend
Secretly spreading lies

Zero .
Dark..
Thirty...
Numb......
Spiritually....
And or metaphorically!?
The gravity of this
Mass hallucination ,
My mental conception  barely able to handle,
Literally a literary parable ,
So real its surreal .
Trepidation in the epiphany. ....
So how dumb are we,
We cant see bitting our tongues
Walk like an egyptian ..
Marching blindly
Without hesitating
Or resistance
One by one
The very epitome of mockery.
Verily I say unto you.
The purest form of love
The first thing established is the family.
And now how easily is it  forgotten and purchased
With a little currency.
Follow our shadows into the past we go....
So full of pride though
Walking away from the son
Into prophecy ,
A **** pa pum,
A **** pum pum. ......
To the cadence of the drum
played so softly
By the one
They call the subtle one..
The one who convinced
Every one .....
He never existed.
His venom lies in his words.............
And run through our veins......ist it too late.
Is it all just in vain .
Is it all just vanity?

Hold still nay sayer
I dont want **** you.
.........
Yet........
I joke.....
K....
Let me set the choke line
To the mule....
An.nnnnnnn.d
Got it....
Now you are sure that
This is the only way..
Alrighty then.
Do not attempt
To wallow in denial.
I am in complete control
( subject to time sensitive and emotionally charged
Situations ,not limited to psychotic breaks,taunting ,sleep deprivation,and parallel parallax
Paradigm issuse.)
What we are attempting to do
Is this.

Apex view within my mind's eye.
In any topic to be construed .....
Almost instantly
Met with superciliousness
The rift from which two  lobes sit juxtapose .
Both with kingdoms

Has no barricades of impedance.
Thus scenarios , and extrapolations
Free and silky
Ebb and flow
Blend with perceptions
And experience
Because of this
My methods and means can be seen as  quite unorthodox.
The time it takes for some to see.......
it was exactly how I explained it to be....
Is not only profound
They use as an excuse
To pretend not to remember .


I am not  limited to ....
What anyone sets guidelines to.

Hate to say it
But hate,
Stay away

Once upon any given day,
Epitome of cliche
In serendipitous melancholy form a sorta alarm did force its way into what I call my red flag repertoire.
My naïveté in classic form mistook ,what seemed to be a general overall generic form of ,
One of many,canonized and I might add widely recognized cross culturally standardized communique .
A non rhetorical bait  used  In fishing for an innocent people response.
Which , to the best of my recollection unravelled a little bit like this......
Upon such a splendid mid morning hike to a much beloved utopian alpine snow crusted ,light blue frozen lake early august
a heavy ,comforting easiness clung lovingly to my young tortured psyche .....as it was unveiling to me this euphoric vision....
For the first time I could remember I had been given the keys to unlock .....me ,for I could see straight through time ....and I had no plans ,reservations or obligations....And with a paid hiatus work status.
An unprecedented glorious somewhat lascivious smirk was forming as I stood alone upon this solid granitical uplifted intrusive  batholith.
I  felt as though epochs ago this felsic majestic perch where I stood immersed in heavenly view of stevens pass all the way to Peugeot sound and beyond,had pushed its way into the county rock and stayed in appropriation for this day....,
I stood chest full of crisp ,
Cool ,refreshing clean air,
And yes somewhat aroused by some far off clouds which my pornographic mind had some how perverted .
Thats beside the point ...
I stood, blankly fixed gaze,slight head tilt with the south park Kyle like smile .
I almost swear I heard Angels singing........
Wait oh my ........
I closed my eyes tuned my head wrinkled my forehead.......
I ......do ......
I hear them .....
Wait ....theyre singing .....
***?!? .. Motley crue,?
The beginning of....
Dr. Feelgood........
Am I crazy.....?
Well thats a given ....
But *** is really goin on here?
I.........don't.....
Wait its my phone
Its ringing ...
Must be something excellent after all this build up......
I answered  bristling with anticipation.....
It's one of my buddies.  
He says" hey buddy   ,
Whataya doin ..........
For the next couple weeks?
And from then on
The onslaught continued
Untill I discontinued
Dismayed my cell phone
Moral outlook?
Took a horrible
Booked for suspicion of having free time.
Sentenced to a lifetime of
Hey can you help me with this?
Under intensive deep
Subduction.
Every plan previously made,
Waylaid!

Stale

Love me,
Love you,
You know I do.....
....
I just never get to have ....
Oh
...its an emergency ....ok im on my.........wait what
You need me to spring for everything ......right now your broke ,    
Ok youl pay me back though
Rieeeeet?
And what?
Pick up some coke .......
Ok .......
Actually  no
Not this time.......
Im grabbing mango pepsi.....
Coke makes me paranoid

I fell in  ...two
Not hurt just confused
C c  communique
Discontinued
Messages sent.......
Either refused ,blocked,
Or just never reached you.
Hope ......all..
is good
with.....you
My friend....
Message me if you dont get this.......
And message me if you do.....
K?
Er whatever.
Anyway..............

I love probably too much,
I tend to think alot too.
In love with the way
My best time spent in thought of you,
And when I do ......
Oh you would want for not......
Just the essence stirring
Up the smoldering coals
Glowing vermillion red
Gurgling with unrivalled
Potential,.....
Unbridled ,......
Bring the hottest ferocious winds from the strongest tropical storms
Feed them to me
through the red hot clamoring venturi
To hell with the bellows.
Bring me hurricanes.
Blast the internal flames
The violent passion is insane melting the night
Sky unquenchable
So white hot puts the sun to shame.........you have no idea of what you do to me.........
You ask me to conquer the world for you I lay the universe at your feet...
I AM GIANT....
RRRRRRAAWWW.
ok woe sorry bout that ..
Daydreaming about you
I get carried away...
And by the way I think your beautiful.....
And since the way I think
Bears evidence proving its true ,
Because you are.
Means I am and can and will do all those things for you.........
Now if I only had the guts to approach you.
I think I will.......
Someday.........

And just so you know,
Sometimes we never do,
It's just a chance we take...
Knowing if we can really forego a risk so great
If you dare to take
That leap of faith.
To boldly let go of whats been done to you
And  compare not the old
To the new,...
For is it truly fair to act bitter and cold
To an innocent heart that
Has only love and will do anything you ask them to
After several attempts to
Find love......
You give in to ......
The idea that ....you.
Can no longer be burdened with that desire....
Sadly you just give up....
No more will you try,
Theres nobody out there ,
The problem is elusive
Because you look for the perfect person .
Well funshine think of it this way.......
A perfect catch probably
Would want a perfect match.
No offense deary
But clearly you arnt exactly what that defines.
Nobodies perfect .
So then you stop looking.
Cupid knows when
You drop expectations
Potential candidates
Interrogations
He draws his bow
Lets loose arrows




Some how love laced ,
Because of love ,
You were, I'm sure
faced with petty things
Which imbued you
With lofty dreams
That one day
The new love of your
Life
will learn not to do!
Since life so often
Seen through
Eyes biased by
a lifetime sorta practicum
Internship
As an apprentice
Imprinting through environmental conditioning ,
Immersed in
What your mentors
Were taught
What they thought
Was how to be.
So you gleaned everything
You perceive,and although you may deicide to rebel or reject certain aspects
As you mature pain and pressure can exhaust
Dealing in such heavy costs incurring grieving losses .
We have tendencies to
So subtly  fall back in default to
Our
pseudo
Peach tree point of view .
Morals ethics right wrong
This is your reality.
It isnt long when your
loveshine is gone.  
Im so sorry for you. ....
Before you do anything
Cruel or stupid ..
Concern your mind with this.
You may try to empathise
But ,
You dont know you cant rationalize a paradigm
Different than that which
Made you"YoU"!
It could be they have been neglected,rejected,beatin,
Lied to ,abandoned
By one or both mom and dad and or possible
Siblings too.
This new love to them
Could be the first time
They have tried to be and so far they are the best to you that they could be.
And it's hard to remember but not so long ago you loved them
so..
.have the courage
And respect to say.
Im sorry and thank you
For all of the things we experienced.
I dont want to hurt you
But I also dont want to lie to you,
And lead you on...
I will always try to stay your friend if youll let me.
Anyway my love for you is gone........
Its so very difficult
Or do you want to take the ****** way out and jade them into someone like you by doing those accursed things that some ******* did to you...
Cause that makes you no better than them
And then your just another bitter ******* too.

Oh my darling may I say...
When you know who you are ........
My sweetest addiction......
Then you will know whom thissssssssss......
Poem ?
Is written to..........
Find what kinda code this is
to see why you feel
The way you do....
The value it represents
Personifies the way I feel about you
#ff0000.....
And if you have ever fantasized
Then tonight!
let your eyes
Become the sky
Allow me such shivering closeness
To gaze down past my reflection
Untill I fall in and fly........
And I'll whisper
Let me stay lost in you...
Listen closely.
A prediction wrapped around a clue      
May or may not help
....you.
When you phone says
"Who"
You will begin to glisten
Ahhh
Awkward ....
Is it a weird word ?
Or is it weird that
That word leaves you feeling  the need to re-spell it?
No?
Its just me.......
Well idin it eye before e?
Oui!
Secretly, within
Synonyms and silky soft  
soliloquies im saying this could be viewed as some kind of a fair warning
Or is it .......
Lets inqusit summon the spell
Checker .......
With a quickness .......
MIRACAST.....
To the big screen..
I  insist....
Transfix your gaze
Deeply into the LCD.
Ask the man in the mirror
Or say "Siri?.......
Is he casting a spell on me.......
Too late .
With a slew of inaudible vowels infused with succulent syllables
Ive turnt
  Siri  into an owl
Im sure she  would love to say
It's a definite maybe. .
So kissed let lust twist
Within your mind..
Close your eyes ....
But please dont stop reading..
And while you do.
Think"what is  SILVER "? what was the word
That came to you...
Never regret reading me .
Save that feeling for something you didnt do.
Silver Tongue forget me not spell #2.
Antidote in this anecdote
Spell checker cant check you for spells ....you will need to loose yourself
In the crystal blue persuasion and the purring cat Im petting is Himalayan
Not Persian,
So the illusion eludes to the fact that when wool gets wet
They.............
Maybe the infamous they ...
Or the proverbial they.
Either way they say
Wet wool makes felt .
But it doesn't exist
Until its felt.    
This spell is only real
untill you love me.........
The way I love you



Shhhhhh.....

Oh and Semper Gratis,
My Darling.........
For everything. .....

Verily ,verily I say unto you
He,or she,
Whom search for friendship, assuming they are free?
Surely return unaware with a handfull of tares.....
Friendship.. .is till death.
Not something you find,
It's a purchase ...
A mutual contract..
In which you invest .
Both make payments to.
A joint account with two keys.
Both can add or lend
And know where the balance is....
Further more both shall walk away from their own shadow.......
Not give in to rumors.
Fight back to back
Side by side
Never face to face .
Till death if need be .......
If he,or she shall falter.. .
It is the reasonable duty
Of a friend to shield said friend from satans darts
Carry them to safety
Help them to walk right again.
Never leave them in a fire fight.  
Ask as little.as.possible
Try to do whatever is asked of you and always
More...
Just a thought to consider
Remember you get what you pay for!

I wander in quandary,
Pondering on why
I want her... ...
I cant not lie
Her honesty,
sometimes hurts me.....
And every one I know
Says .  ...
She dont deserve me,
And the deeper I fall,
The harder I try,
The more I forget ,
The more I have to forgive   ,
The more she deserts me,
The less she respects,
And the less I see of
Her
The mortal wound,
I've learned
Is in the venom,
Of love,
Its irreversible,
It's in my soul ,
It never gets old,
I crave it ,
I love it ,
Its perpetual,temperamental
And although I know
Still it stay in
terminal

Limbo

Currently single,

Hey it's not by choice ......

I dont think ....

Idk?
Whats a poor boy to do
With all this love .
Waiting......
I gotta give it to ....
Well someone who....
....
Has .... An urgent need
Of a temporary love,
Only untill
My love calls and said she wants me....
I wonder if maybe ,
Shes stuck in the,same
Love game I'm in,
And its sad to think  ,
My temporary loves
Have said  the same
Thing
They're waiting for me.

The night was not odd...
It was still .....
And warm.....
There were rumours ...
Then again
When aren't they?
I walked briskly
Down the dark alley way
In the heart of the dragon
It smelled of strong whisky..........
And ******.  
A little risky..... ya......
Maybe ..........
Brave?...........idk
Foolish? ........
Definitely.
Some rules I could take.
This was a path I refused
Not to take!
The irony lies within the fact that I only took this journey after a good come-up ...
And carried a fat stack.....
Was I testing fate?
Or testing faith?
On these things........
I thought not .....
For I knew someone
Who didn't need me....
Depended on me......
And in truth ........
I loved him.......
An old janky  man in his
Mr goodwrench overalls fast asleep .....
On a Mac creeper ..
Under his jacked up chevelle.
Began to slowly roll
Towards the busy intersection below...
Like clockwork .
as I turnt the corner....
He was feet from disaster
Head first .....
I had to run faster
Than I thought I could go....
And dove
.......grasped his ankle.
My face cracked the pavement
Ill never forget it.  
Tires screeched .....
I lost consciousness ....
When I came to.....
The creeper mangled under a  car...
Which turned out had been stolen by a tweaker...
And the old blackman
I tried with my life to save.......
I still had a death grip on
One ankle...........
His body convulsing,
His eyes wide open .....
As if bewildered and fixed on me.....
Laughing hysterically .
Sitting on the sidewalk......
Saying ooooohwee bo
I thought fo shor
Yous gonna let me ta die...
Dammm you needs go to the gym or sumpin ..
Whoo....... I bouts  had a heart attack.........
I couldnt help but to cry...
I said you mean ....
You were awake?    
You "f"-n faker......
This is how we met ..
So many years ago....
I remember every detail...his response?
Unexpected.......yes ....
Brilliant ?
In the moment ...probably not....
Over time still dont know
But the impact.......
Epic .....immense.....
Absolutely  ...
Life changing.......
Maybe not for him ?
Maybe not to you ..
I guess it's a point of view
Zen puzzling piece of psyco-induced subliminal
Implanted military experimental type of thing .......
Maybe I was the Manchurian candidate and or Charles Bronson...
I had miles to go before I sleep.......... Yah?
No?
But maybe.......
Anyway he said ...
"Course I was awake ..
But I needed your attention.
And  bo........
you gonna do anything
THEN YOU GOTT TA
COMMIT ....! "
As he continued on ....
The words echoing off in my mind  ..
Drowned out his laughter
Sirens getting closer ....
The lumps of dividends
Bulging my pockets
Coming from some opportunistic origins.  
Gave me a genuine angst ...and the gangsta style side of me leant over gave him a firm brother shake
Looked him hard in the eyes .......
One nod .....
Said , cn you walk ?'
He said " course .I.
The rest.of his words faded quickly   something caught my periphery
The tweeker running from the sceen......
Leaving an overstuffed backpack.  I said good
pulled him up said
Wait !
but be ready !
As the cars caught fire
I was in the puddle  
Picked up the pack......
And .......barely....
It was heavy.....
The orange glow behind
Kicking my heels felt charming and the coral and peachy colors painted this experience with such a beautifully
Bizarre hue
It was simply an unexplainable feeling.
Well except the fire on my feet that had tossed upp to the heavy layden
Backpack.....
That was uncomfortable..

,



You could trace the

This is the night that the lights went out on me.
The fatal sight mine eyes
Could never unsee.
Giver of life ,
Most trusted confidant,
My Queen......
My love my truest friend,
I will spend a life time
Still never comprehend ,
Why this had to be..........
lost in contemplation
Of
Inevitable aftermath  
In preparation trying to brace myself against
imminent impact.
Taunting me I sat ,
And sunk hauntingly into
A maelstrom of fears and trepidation. .........
Without her who will I be?
Awakened from dissolution by a refreshing icy cold slap in the face.    
My mind's eye dipped into an acid bath ......
Emerged bereft of selfish filters ........and brought clarity that is not my time ,but Hers .....and it is but a vapour now ,
Precious and fleeting with a quickness .........
I pushed all negative thoughts to the horizon of my mind ....
So I could take events in stride
Although in doin so
I knew ,and did my best
To hide .....
This the beginning of the end of me
From this I cannot mend
The epitomy of melancholy
I was chosen as her ring man and accepted gratefully.
Managed her corner to the best of my ability...
The best moments of my life and shall forever be..
Yet I'm still haunted ......
And the sharply narrowing of the fields of what we wanted.........
Ever loomed ....vamping my energy.
Undaunted,
her opponent advanced
Relentlessly......
My chest heaves hands tied .....
Broken..
I fall to my knees
Severed forever my last tether
To humanity.
Most elegant warrior I have ever seen.
Knowing me
Could console me!
Sophisticated and obnoxious
Said her hair wasnt red ....
It was strawberry blonde
A little piece of insight.  
Known to nary run from a fight ......
Broke me fatters jaw ...
And me uncles too ..
On their wedding night...
None the less.......
And with such mischievous elegance
With the heart of a leprechaun
Hard not to say
She was simply complicated. .............
I marvel in the way
Her beauty still hasn't
Faded from me
epicenter of happiness and all that was good in me ....
She was my everything
Same hood,
Same team,
Understood ..... Completed me
The only one who truly loved me .
The lost champion ,
My lost companion ,
Savagely beaten to death
While I could only stand by and watch helplessly.
And in disbelief
Stroked her hair ,.....
Held her gently
And  the world lost all of  its humor, charm  and meaning.
As she breathed out and left me...with just  her body...in my arms
On new years eve.
And the silence is still maddening from the
No reply
As ...I  ...am faced with this insanity
As we became I put both her hands on my face
Cried quietly Mamma
Please don't leave me..
Rest in peace Mom I love you....
Her opponent?
Non small cell squamous
Lung cancer.

As my world burns ........
This....episode...the lost love......
I . .....scene 1.
As the crestpucular rays .....
One by one  
Fracture thick brooding  horizon.....
With a lascivious quickness
Devoured the darkness.......
For a brief moment.
A rare ......
Precious glorious brief moment .....  
Before reality set in .....
I barricaded every pathway
Held it with my life...    
As I lay there on that beach ...the cool refreshing waters....gently  
Caressed my bare feet......
I watched without a single thought ......
Slowly.......and like it shall ever be........
Dull views began to ripen ..the dew and wet rock glistened .  
I watched .....
I listened......I heard Spanish musica .....
I smelled the ocean...
I heard a whale breach spitting mist.....the a low crushing splash........
I could hear the sand under water  sanding the ocean floor ...I watched  
I viewed as
Charged particles emmited from the nuclear fission still twinkling touch down after millions of mile journey.........
Instantly caused colors to bloom and .....the warmth layed on top of me like a giddy girlfriend.......
I smirked...
..a tear of great
Humbling greatfulnes .....
Like a fat happy dollop of honey dropped off my chin .......
A hot seductive wind ......came in
Overwhelming with the smell of paella.......
The fragrance of a small handfuls of fresh saffron......and I swear I could taste warm sangria......
Empty minded ..I lay there and smiled    ....an almost feeling as though embarrassed to have all this lavished upon me........
Undeservedly...
....... I heard an albatross .....

Barricade cracked  ..... My mind .... Started to  force me to think .....
I heard a gunshot........
Saw clouds ...... The wind breezed sand into my ears.....
The colors faded .......... The water was freezing ...... And smelled like death ........ My breath stank ....... I felt a raindrop.......
My body felt heavy ..... My chest hurt ........
I looked up ......  
Lightning cracked through the sky ..........
Just one thought .....
At first ........ One.
Just ............
Who am I .......
When the thunder exploded above my ...... I saw .......
The blood........
My eyes  rolled back .........
Involuntary
Flashback.........
Too many questions answered at once .........

And I was back at the ranch.......
I could smell gunpowder    
And the thunder clap ....couldn't escape the canyon.............
That dam albatross .........
Albatross ......
Brought me back from the flashback.......
Im alive ........
Am I still me.....
Where am i?
How...am. I....?
.how di...d
I.... ......
Paranoia like a murderous nervous unfamiliar house guest.....
Sinking in      
The albatross and another ......chimed in ......... As I lay there paralyzed.......
Little poisonous   pieces of memory.....
An Im terrified......
Thinking ......
Thinking ....
Thinking
Where is she.....
Does she know     I'm alive?
Does she know .. where ..  sky's black and grey waves out of rythem and foamy.......
Another lightning flash . Hits the sand right in front of me .......
Just behind ......... Her .... Her makeup smeared ... Face grimaced.... Soaking wet ..
.lifts an axe ..... Screams and swings at my head ........
Just as the blade....
I'm alone again ........ I'm ... In my bed.......

I hear a voice clearly it says.....0
Meanwhile back at the ranch......
...........................

Fickle ,
Unpredictable,
Random ......
The simply complicated state of zen......
It is what makes it so blissfull.......
Unwell wishing for some .......
At the other end .
Of the spectrum.
No use tryin to hide the pink streaks     ....
Like acidic streams
Cutting caverns down through my puffed cheeks....
The saline
Leaks .....
From my eyes....
Stings ........
Dreams .....
Lofty ....wonderfully
Thought of
Dreams .....
Beautiful sanctuaries.....
A place to hide and smile .........
POISON ....
They can be
Like walking down a slightly sloped ..oily
Razor blade.....
Dreams  .......
Have them love them . ....
By all means ..
Never fall in love with them ......
Never  fall in love with them
...........
POISON
......
IMPRISONED

Oh so now you wanst ta talk....
I don't suppose this has anything to do with your new boo ....
Telling you to kick rocks?
Ok let me ask you this ?
Have you natured enough to
Listen ?
Oooooo k.....
Remember at the end of show....
You said why
Don't you ever have my back....
And I said ..... I always have .....
Not when you're being faulty ......
Because you and me are good....
Me and faulty ...
Naw  I don't want to get hemmed up cause a you.


I don't need any partners for that ****...
I'm tryin to look legit.

Get it

Include exclude
Hoody
Goody two shoes
Refused
Muse
Bruised
The
un-amused
The Bruiser
Used
User
Brooder
Glib glad
Big bad
Mad
Intruder
Pied Piper
Without a pipe
Best friend till
The end of dividends.
Then I'm the
Outsider ...
Again......
Friend ....one
Me ......public enemy ....
Seemingly somehow
.......me.......
Only .......
Lonely
Scarred
Marred broken hearted **** star.......
Giver
Taker
Mistake ... ...
.........Great ........
Underrated fickle faded
Disassociate
Yourself from that one.......
All these without the pleasure or pain of commiting
Any one .....or admitting ....
No proof .....
Evidence or reason to believe ......
If you care to inquire ,
Study my profile...
Look into my
Character....
Interrogate me
Polygraph.....
Or skip all that
Go straight to
Private investigator
My intentions ...have always been to befriend and be friend ...
An always
The encourager .....
To the point of taking second place and the blame and punishment
Meant for you.........
henceforth the labels .....padlocked..
To my neck...
.........
Well..........since we're alone ......and I have your attention...
One ...........
Just
One ........
Just..........
One quick mention.......
My neck may bend down like a willow  ...only so far  ....where it stiffens like an oak.........
Stand in front of me while you slander with a sludge hammer .....
Till the handles
Broke........
Stoking the forge....
Fanning the flames
setting the stage for the insatiable
  "Morose delectation"
.............
without detection ....
Or reservation
Oh yes let's play this game .....   Ohhhh
....you shouldn't have ..but you did.....let's dig in........
decades of holding back the cries and crimes against my pride........
Dark clouds ......comming....
Down ........
Burnt cienna...
turnt ........
Charcoal grey....
Into black
Is this your wish ....?
To ****** and reduce me to  Schadenfreude?
Good.    .
Bad......
Pleasure  .
Pain
...these are the costumes you choose to wear
In lust just remember
This is youre hypocrite flipped script. .
And I'm playing the part ........
Let's not forget
I train every day and play way harder....
Psychotic ******* who so needs an outlet ......  Pain inflicting Olympic gold medalist .....
Oh you insist.....
You make me blush........
Get your game playing costumes on...
***!  
Comfortable  in them . .
Great!.
Go ahead then
Wear them out.....
Love .....
Hate    ... .
These wears are reversible..
All the patrons under the marquee......
You invited them in   .....
The came to see blood .....
The tables set
It's too late  and I'm hungry.
But maybe you don't  
Parlez-vous français ?
Huh?
Maybe you shouldn't play.... .....
Well now ....
Let's see.....
Your production.....
I played my part........
So you should pay ......no?
...or maybe.....
s'il vous plaît
Be........ My...
"Roman Holiday" ......
Oh .. yeah....
You do.....
Ok .......
Help me change .. ..
You know I can't do this without you .....
Hey I'm talking to me

Is it or was it ever....
Infectious?
Without delay
MmmmmM
May I direct your attention to you .......
As when you partook as much as anyone ....
And as your witness ....
You did confess .....
To abstain .....from...
Or any effort to .........was  um......
Un fortuitous..?
Mmm hhm
Yes.........
Let us look at your perspectous.....
Wasn't  it you whom .... Spoke these words .?
" .......... Shhhh ... No ......
Listen  
.. all I'm saying is ...........
Well.......
It's so callous
How we walk through a room and know the ones who like us ... A month later ... We see the same and  can't even remember them at all......
39 years later.....they    
Stood still
Living an existence they hated
Devastated......
Consumed .....
Still the fiery passion they had for us .....
Paramount....
As we go mumbling
Stumbling along looking for someone to love us.....
If we could drop what the media does to us ......or tell s us I guess......forces us .........controls us ...programs us .........perverts and lies ......
Flagrantly ........
We . ...drop all this beautifull artificial stuff ...and live liberated ..
In a perpetual state of elated
Happiness ...contentment
Having some one we treat like a queen ....
Or better yet ... Who worships you .... And you can be cool ... An they be that for you too!"
??...!...?.!?!?;?
So I believe ..... That I can speak quite frankly ......
For you when I say .....
Yes you......
Are just as infected as the rest of us ......
Inflicted and oppressed  .....
MmmM hhhm.

Sey yes
This is what the commercial world does to us....
With the filth advertising evil science does for us.......
Be us or not be at all ......
If you want to live you gotta want it all

When you think you got it ... It's really nothing at all ...
You're worthless  
.
Unless you wear this .....
Pothetic ....

Love I need!
I could not see;
Love I had
Didn't want ...
Me.....
Hostage negotiaton ....
Traded for the love that wanted me....
Still I couldnt see ........
Untill love wanted me ...... I had scorned love .......
Never satisfied ...
When the love
I wanted
..  .
Wanted me.....
I understood .....
All the more reasons that this love is the one for me ....
I just wish I wasn't so jaded scarred and ugly.......
Guess that's what she wants.    ....
My love loves me ....
I love her the best  I can ....
The gentle lover I was once before  ....
Lurking .. .
Brooding ...
Haunts me.....
Love?

Such elegance ...
Each syllable
A pleasure ......
In every sense...
Intellectual stimulence
Lets our frontal lobes,
Mingle with indulgence...
The fragile side we so deftly hide....
Set to the wild to run free... .
It's a broad point...
A guillentine
A lexicons
Aphrodisiac.

Some day they'll see....
Yah someday....
And when they do ....
They'll be humbled and jubilated  by
My generosity

An obscure handful of
Half assed fantasies......
I payed dearly for these......
Kept in my pocket all these years......
To escape from future fears  .....forget the details
For they could be derailing
I like to hide in the highlights
Weather it be the Gold mine
Or the lottery thing.......ya.....
Or the miracle man of 190 .....
Yah some day. ..... ............. ......
....some day ..... .................

I am afraid of
....
The future before me love
.........
Soon viewd from above.

So maybe you look back and think ......
Wasn't a big deal and ya
I guess we did have some good times...
I mean idk ...
I don't really remember that much.........
And I suppose when you look back into "that" time.....
It feels like a nagging clingy
Photo album all covered in dust .
And the pages stuck together
Heavily laden with must.......
.........
The recollections I have are completely different ...... I remember the first time I set my eyes upon you....
My memories have meaning .... And my feelings are stainless ......
For you these will not be tainted in rust........
It was late August when I heard you say us for the first time ......
I hold dear to me those softer moments when you let your defenses down and talked to me like comrade....
You and me ......
Family ..........
What baffels  me is how I have to force my self to remember the  cruelest and most confusing pains you put me through ... Shattering my illusion of life and love........
All the times you start a fight just to leave & go hang out with some other guy.........
And I'd hide it from your parents     and
The kids .........
Taking the blame saying ... She's just taking a time out .... It's ok she'll be back tomorrow ...... Meanwhile
You been lieing to all our friends an family .........
Saying I am the one ......
Cheating and disappearing......
Trying to make the youngest boy take a bath and he's crying ......
" No cause mom's gonna leave  
...
And I still cry when I take a shower for the same reason ...... Been ...
6 long years .....
I can't get over you ........
To you it seems like *** is the big deal .
It was kind insignificant......
I know I should move on ..........
But I ..

Considering worth ..........
Comes with difficulties
In perception.
Influxuation....
In variable depths leave
Seniments
Of subtle deception,
don't believe
What the looking  glass says  .....when
Looked darkly into .......
Brings out dark distractions.....
In reflection feelings are refractions.
reactions  which don't match intentions
Elongating the pendulums
Undulation
While we swing through the
Gauntlet between write
And rong ......
We loose sight .  ....... ........ And like a vapor
We are gone.  ...
Taking someone's world with us..........
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Those that aren't worth their weight in salt...........insult
Those that actually are.........
Being braggadocios
Over exaggerating
The exact opposite of
What they claim to be......
Trust and believe.........
Their actions merit pitty  
After expiration......
Pleading for a stay of execution    .......
Beneath the throne..
Of the King of hate.............
As epochs roll on and on in
At the bottom of the furnace
the rotten  
Underbelly
Of the forgotten
Receiving
No clemency
For eternity.
...... ..... ..... .....  
You are worth more than you can understand ....
Live with it like you deserve it.

Don't take someone you don't want because you feel like that's all you can get cause ........
What you'll get is people that will take you .....
That's a lifetime of regret ....  

Never settle .....and just take what you can get . .
And keep that person's love
Untill something you want more comes along......

Because you will create a rift and an undercurrent .....that will take you. .
And it shall
Take you places you don't want to go.........
And when you go
You can never come back again . ............
Don't be
Unsettled

He said
Son.....
When your tough .....
You be greatful
You hear me?.
Don go get all proudfull bout it ......
Just be humble and shine when you can ..
We might be  in chaos ...
I'm gonna
Enlighten you to the natural order ....
You go brag
And prides gonna come back on you like a viper.....
Tough as you are there is always gonna be one tougher.
No one like to stand down  
Or loose....
An who likes to hang with losers  ..
Cept loosers..
Keep it humble . And take this time of ease ..  to get smarter...
And don't brag on this neither...
Cause there's always someone smarter.... And if they're ain't
Then there's ones who are
.........
Smart enough to no that most aren't smart enough to see through a lie...
And they take you with trickery
And nobody but you can understand it.
So
Be smart enough to be tougher than anyone .. ..
But tell  no
one.
And be tough enough to be the smartest
And pretend not to be  ......
When you can master these and be humble and gracious .....and share you're gifts.
You shall have a good life....
Let me do bragging........
I'm old but never to old to
Whoop you you smart *** .

A bit of a purple ****** Ident it? A little fingernail pinch on the inner tricep......
Holiday' ..........
Ohhhhh yeah!
Memories ......
If I could just have these
I would be at ease withy miseries............
But no . .....
Torn open like a long eared bunny.......
I lay still . ....
Tryin to keep dignified a put my pieces back inside..
Meanwhile ....... Hyena's to the left of me......
Jackals to the right........
And here I am
In misery ......
Silver lining .
Might be my last one........
...yeah me!?!



.
.
Well see!
.....
...
..
.
Ok I kid ......
I does kinda feel good
To be wanted .... Even if it's just for   .......
Naw it's just good.
Merry holiday .. an all that ....... Ya'allllll