Standing
.......
in
Remembrance.
.......
View through the pain .
.......
Crystalize before me....
Only just the corners......
Fine intricately
Twined......
Leaving a perfect
Obround
For those looking in ...
Very much like a
Rockwell
Thomas kincaid
Mixture
In a rustic frame.
Flocked with hodgepodge
......
As I picture me
Outside  
......
viewing
Me through the window pain
..........
I'm imaging
Upstairs
Looking intently from the inside.
At
Winter scape and trying to ..
See
If the one outside .
Can detect the pain I feel .
I'm nervous
Cause the screen is so beautifull
I don't want to ruin it ...
I'm standing back aways behind me outside  in view of all this
And the looks on my face .
Not good ...
So I try to get my attentions
Being comical
To lift the spirit
......
I'm watching and smile starts to unfurl
Until
.......
Duuun
Dahh

Duuuuuu.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Off on younger
I see the older
Pretend to be
Mature me. ..
On horse carriage
In a civil war
Uniform .  
Hair greased over ...
Black ish
Brown
handle bar mustache
Kinda like
Kurt Russell
From tombstone
.
Tell em
"What's coming.
.............
AND HE'S
BRINGING
HELL WITHEM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHISTLE
WHISTLE
HYAAAAA.
In the backround
Up in the sky..
That old familiar twang of  
Cashs'
Guitar
Echoing through the canyons
And it's
Me
I fill the
Whole sky
I m singing with Johny
Man
Yah
And
I think I'm chrome plated .......GHOST ......
RIDERS
...
...
ON THE STORM
Now I'm
With
Morrison ..
DAM .....
the dam
Cracked an the water began to flow   .
The perfect storm .....
And the water breaches
And it's quickly over taking
The valley down below ...
And the little cottage I stood
Glassy eyed
Gazing it the window .
Is gone
Along with all my splinter
Cell
Me's
All but one

Then
He died from grief ...
And the me
Singing in the sky
Sobbed
And wept uncontrollably.
For years . .
Ohhhhh
Who could console me?
Finally ....
I lifted my eyes
And
Finally ...
The world saw the raw real me....
And
I was understood ..
Wow
Glorious .
We all cryed tears of liberation and joy  
For me....
Melon Holly ....
Then someone in a boat started birchen.sayen
He's the reason the whole Earth's all flooded.
Had kina
Uh dirt farmer
From the grapes of rath .
Sort look to
Him ...
Tall .lanky ....
Then I heard a mumur
Turnt to a roar  
And now I'm back to regular size .
And the roaring crowd behind me screaming
Yah get him.
And it's the Spartans from the
300
Movie ...
Leonitis
Face is grimaced  
******
He's
****** .
Right on my heels .
I jumped off a clifffff
Ffffffff
Ffffff
For crying out loud
Can I ever just imagine something
Beautifull
Without all the extra
Dolly lama drama.
Man
.
Tell ya
I
Feel
Sorry for me


I can just picture
M.....e.....
S. ....t......
Not..
Gonna doit


As a myriad of ;;
Nope

Tom Tom
Tic TOC giggle
Google
Rikki lake
Fake bacon
....
Ohh me love you long time....
Drop a dime
You will be mine
..you will be mine..
...you will be
Allllll
Mine craft ....
*** Gass or grass
Pocket full of
Posers
I
Simply need
Better subject matter
Space the final frontier ...
Space    

Space.....


Space  
(By  definition
Is an area in which time and matter exist...... .)
Your mission .. ..
If you choose to accept  .  
Break out of your cell
Stop at go and collect you 200 dollars  
Uh oh ..
Ring around the collar.  ...
I ain't no holla back boy.....
Soy
Jerry Lauler
Wish I was a little bit taller.
Are you goofing on Elvis ?
Hey ya  baybeyy
And
Are we half run ..
Out of
***** laundry
And bad news
I can use
For my muse
Sickle?
Oh this is terrible .....
Spastic
Iconoclastic
Mr fantasy
In your own plastic fantastic...
Life is just a
Phantom see
Another pineapple fanta
Yes please.. ..
Too much time on my feet ....
Agony of de-feet . ..
Oh boy

Think  I  need
Some
Sleep
!

The midnight
Hung quiet and tensions rising .......
eery, slithering an
Crawling .....
Through the thickets ..... So slow ..... So
Very very slow
.......
Feel the tickling from the sweat ...
Trepidation sets in.....
Only  I mean only .........
When noise is being made by them ....
Shall I move
Then
×{[STOP]}×
.....
When the crickets stop.
Fickle.
F-N
Snitches
.....
C.I.'s
You loose sight
Hearing
..Intensifies..
Fear when it's used right
Will help you ...survive ...
If you're being hunted
Eye see by .hearing .
And not
.

. Hearing .
I see what I'm hunting
And when I give my word
And I put it on my skin
Look you in the eye.
It's no longer a promise ring my friend
It's backed by blood love .
There is no fear on this earth
That I have ever seen
That disturbs
....
Which is  
The predator
I become
When
I'm called
On it .

Flip the switch I'm gone
I
Animal
Eyes black
Hackle
Up
Hind legs twitch
I can taste the air.
And when I savour the piquant
Salty flavour of twilight glistened
Terrified
Sweat....
I'm close enough
Feal the pink
Heat signature of your breath.
And when I slowly lower my head in you general direction
My lips pursed and nose sneared  .....
Picking up  aromatics like
A dog picking up pheremone
Messages from the
***** in heat opening my eyes and they have a far off
Sleepy
..
..Glassy  gaze..
Grinch like smirk
One tear
On the front of the well over taken by the swell
Accidently
escapes
From  the empathy
Part
Of me
Petitioning
The executioner
( The inner me that governs
The right or wrong)
((In the event the circumstances
Prevent
Clemency
And stay of execution
Withdrawn ..
The inner me has the ultimate
Group
Of professional
Psychologist,
A "ta die for"
Debrief sanctuary
And a team of
Rational ends to meet the needs
And justifiers
To make things
Be
Just as if I never committed my....
Er things  
I mean never done a thing !

Because the
Governor stepped down
( Again the inner me)
LET THE GAME
CONTINUE
.....
:
One tear
Breaches
Then hesitates
As if to look back and say
C'mon it's ok  ,
Let's go ....
As it travels past the cheek
Gets
hooked and pulled past the nose like a venturi
Stops confused on the upper lip .
And defuses into nothing
Changed
Nothing
.
I hide further back into
Happy places in my mind
Because
That  streak of
Saline
Left sparkling in the twilight is sadly evaporating
....
The natural order of things
Steps in
Removing
It
To see this through
That one tear
One tear ....
From the heart and backed by a sea...
Was your last advocate
And the last
Lost trace
Of my humanity
One
Just one
Just.....
.....
WAIT
.....
.....
..
.
.

.



.




HE
HhhhhhhhhH
.



Had one word for me......
No.....
Wait
What happend

Owe wow
This started with an analogy
Like poetry
Or my stupid attempt at it..
I got too  into it and although it ends like a confession

It's not.

K.


YOU HAVE MY WORD ON IT.


Ok I am sorry...
I'm off on
Side bar your....
  Now on with the memory ......
Er .....
Um

Poetry?

So those stupid little
Simple fickle
Insects
On your side
There to help  
keep  your word
Then turn coat and
Turn into rats
And tryin  flush you out...

Those creepy things all over me
In my hair
So so so
Very difficult...
On the cusp of
im·pos·si·bil·i·ty
Staying quiet in the blackberry's bleeding
Cuts and puncture marks leaking
CCHHHSSST
YA WE THINK HES UP IN THE BOULDER FIELD ....
OVERCCCCHHHST
K
DEADLY FORCE IS AUTHOURISED...CCCCHHHST
...........
...I ..KNOW .....
I * CCHHHHST*

FLOOD lights being all chauvanistic
Accosting
The night
Ogling her privates
The sweats stinging blood drying .
Bugs down  my pluggers creepily up my inner thigh ...
...
Some one with a really nice ****** rifle acting all "eyes on me "sayin  loudly
Hey cap cmere I think we found something
!!!!!
This is the needle hole
I need !!
These rookies think there in a movie

..mabe they'll make one out of me...
Kidding ...
Kinda
Anyway ...
Focus I gotta move quickly and silently  
One chance ....
One

Just
...
The commotion  
Bristling
Is ........ like the comforting sounds that loom from the kitchen on through the living room .
Sizzling bacon
And Saturday morning cartoons.
The noise they make is my cover
To escape..
Ants...
I think
Atleast I hope these are ants and ......
Not .. spiders
No theyr not
They can't be.
I

Would

Freak

The

F..k
    

Out
!
K
...
keep going in my ear and up my nostrils
I turn quickly.
20 maybe 30 feet  
Across a  half light opening
And there's the sorta slow part of the river .....
The.............
Ice melt ....
And 1/4 mile the **** ...
An  

Turbines....
And the ****   lights ... An  
The 300 foot drop .


An ..
Giant maelstrom's .

As I turned to take of my shirt and slither out the blackberry patch
A large overly crusted with stickers
CANE.
grabbed my cheek poked my ...Eye. .
My body. Has no plans on being shot and cares not for accessories
I can live with the loss of an eye or scar's
Keep moving
Me on the other hand I'm still trying.......
Owe my head tilting tryin to get out the way..
Owwwwe....
Bit..
Get out the way ......
Owee wait I got a big one sinking into my lip..
Wooooe slow the role one second

Got one in my throat .
Then snap crackle ....snap
Like having 35 fish hooks in ya..trying to run and be quiet at the same time ....
I hit the river
And
O m G
I'm a pink quivering quiet crock ...
No body heard

No body saw ..
...I'm ...just....
SSSSKKKRRRT
baby Huey
The  assault rifle guy .
In the river puts a warm Glock against my ear ...
Kinda felt good actually ..
I put my hands and back feet down into the river bed .
Stop floating...
Wrapped my hand around a big rock ...
And slowly reached for my knife.....
He motioned me with ******* pointing to his eyes then to mine then back and forth as if saying I caught you.. .
I am predator
You prey
I got you
You submit
You understand
You see me
I see you  see me
You understand this is it ......
And motioned me to stand an turn around.
I complied  when I locked my fingers behind my neck .
He hit me in the kidney
Put his knife to my throat ....and quietly I felt my legs warming ....and I shivers
Allot a things
He said to me
One thing
Just one word

Just one

Just


. .

.

He said ....


Goodby
.....

And loosed his grip
Watch me float
Crying
.....
....


Wana know why ......


Maybe.


Some day

Maybe

( {Ok so uh yah ...
Real good there "aye"!
Soooahh
What... a
( (***?))
(( What was that look for))
Whats all the cool armour there forcing aon ya today's...})
(?!!WhiaaTT!!!)({oooh
Take it easy there champ
I .....sai.d
Uh
So what uh
Brings.......you....in....here tadys...?})
( Oh heh)
((Seriously?
That is not what he said))
((( Oh no sh.. Sherlock)))
(( Ok thats it!!!! listen.Im not gonna sit here and argue you right here Infront of the
DING
Shrink
(( (((*** was that?))) ))
(( Jynx
You owe me a coke))
(((Jynx back
You owe me a Cadillac
Double back no take backs
Stamps davinity
Ding
HssssssssS
((( Aoeww my
Eyes))).
SIR PLEASE  LET THE ROCKING CHAIR GO ...
!!!
NOW SIR
What ?
What are you doing ?
I can't breath ...my face is burning
(( I don't remember cops being here....
))
((( Me neither!! why does he has his gun on me?!!!??)))
Hey don't point that gun on me
DING
*** is that..
Rocker!!
(((Rocker???)))


This is you're
Last warning .
Warning
Warming
Morning
DING
WASHINGTON
WARNING
LET GO OF THE
DOCTOR
W..H..A..T....
THE.....

THUMP
THUMP

OH ...MY ..GOSH...

THUMP THUMP .

(( (((   IM  CHOKING

DING
BEEP
THUMP THUMP
BEEP
DOCCTOR...
WAIT
&$#CRACK$#&#
AKKK
AKKK
AKKK
aaaacthump
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eeeee
ee..ee..ee.eee.eeeeeeeee.­................d....i.......n.......g......
.
..w....a......a...­...r.nnninngDING
What happened
Owe my chest
Ding
Why am I hooked to this ekg
?
Ding
Hey .....
HAAAYY
WAKE UP  DINGDINGDING
YOURE HAVING A NOTHER NIGHTMARE . .AND THE ALARMS BEEN GOIN OFF  AND YOUR IGNORORING IT ..SORRY I HAD TO STAB YOU IN THE CHEST
WHAT?
I HAD TO HIT YOU IN THE CHEST ....
NOW GET UP....  
Ok   ok
Oh my gosh it was so real......

Ever since I wrote this thesis about
:Operation
Prefrontal leukotomy:
I keep having this
Dream .....
Uhmm
Why is there a dead doctor on the the.
The .the ...
Floor ........
You tell me killer . .....
WarninG
,THIS iS /wAs A TEST OF THE REfrential
Delusion society...
If this were a real event
You should wake from this delusion

The minute you hear this
" Take this shot.... Or get shot ....
In the chest.. "
Thank you....
For your co-operation
NEXT
Where are we
d..I..n..g
That is all  .
Move along sir
....
CO-OPERATE
...
HUH?
DING
ITS OK NURSE ..HEH ..
I MEAN OFFICERS  ..
I LL HANDLE THIS...
so what are you gonna do huh .....
Tuff guy ...
This is serious
You gonna fight us . ...
By yourself.    
I won't have to convince anyone that your crazy ..
Your doin for me......
The crazy thing about fear is ........
It's not real .  .
We...    Are . .. ..the .. ....people.  .

And we are tuning toxic to our selfs...
Race, religion,
DING
VACCINE
CONTROL THING
COMPLIANCE THING
FABRICATION
DELUSION
OR PRECURSER
CAUSE GET Away once for ******
Makes the next one easier
Never let them into to the inner sanctum

Cause it's gooona
Get worser
Anything to keep us distanced from our selves . .
We think we can't trust one another ..  
So my brothers and sisters ....
We are all the same  ...and yet beautifuly .
Different
We came to be ...
Differences from desperate
Locations
Oppressed to the point of
Fight or die spiritually
Comply or die
The decree  
Every pedigree has fleas .

The powers that
Be .
Use these these as triggers ..
Especially
On the brink of revolution.
Which bring us to subjection...

PLEASE

IM AFRAID
THAT
PARANOIA .
GONNA SET IN

DING

DIFFERENCES
WITHIN
US
CANT MAKE US BE
Different
Genesis
WE ESTABLISHEDTHE GREATEST CONTINENT ....
LETS NOT LET THEM(US)
RUIN IT ...
WE NEED TO BE THE BEACON

DONT LET THE SHRINKS
MAKE YOU THINK THE EVERYONE
DIFFERENT THAN YOU
IS SECRETIVELY
CONSPIRING TO GET YOU.


   .that what makes us
Strong is love

Because
We were once us ......
Let's see them, those, me, you, we ,
"Be"    
together
Us ..
Community
Unity
Protect the weak .
Be the hero's-heroines
For the future
Let the children see what is right
That we need
Education
Be the person you admire more than anything
Empower
Meek
With courage to think
It's ok to be afraid ......
But never shall that
Create a reason to not rise to the occasion to defend "us"
That's the difference between saying you're "brave"
And being
"Courageous"
Be positive and let that be contagious.  
Help the people that hate us .. .
So there's  can be no reason for  people to believe in at lies said about us .
Let's
Be
Be someone worthy of emulation.
"Do "right inspite of what's been done to you  ...or become the person that done it to you and continue the wrongs
And receive the recompense it brings you...









You know ............
The human? ....
....
The human mind
In particular!
.......
.... it's a rather
Cryptic and manipulative
Thing .
And because
It has the power to conjure deceit
And convince itself
The opposite....
Doesn't mean it should...
But it does........

Hypocritic
Machiavellian
With
Sadistic
Intent
Monolithic
Opposite
Of
The fundamental
Reality

Artesian of
Maelfeasions
Supernatural
Thermal vent
Belching subtle, delicate
Beautiful
Believable
Lies  .....
Composer of
Compromise
Rotten
Death filled seas
Of
Composting
Broken dreams
Feeder an ruler of
Flies .....
With malignant
Stagnate
Tributaries .
The fact
That
You
Are
Enemy
Of
My enemy
Does not surprise
Me...
Get behind me
Stay that way.
You have
Aught
With
My adversary
Does not make you friend
When he would be
Destroyed
You will
Turn on
Me...
I am
To someone an enemy
Yes.....
They are not my enemy .
They have lived on
Lies
And
This
I pity

There can only be
One solution

.....Truth.....

Find the standard
If in agreement
With it .
Then do not
Combat evil for evil
It will only convolute
Fact and fiction
Till you character
Will betray you
......
To the world
You resemble
The aggressor
Not the victim

...
Ballistics or statistics
Enemy or
Allies
Truth or
Lies
Composition
Or compromise
Divine
Or demise
Devise a way to divide
Yourself from what
Can take you
In later days
In ways you could never expect.
The future is opportunities
Or is it
A
malicious
Past you
Will see
..believe ..
Me

The midnight
Hung quiet and tensions rising .......
eery, slithering an
Crawling .....
Through the thickets ..... So slow ..... So
Very very slow
.......
Feel the tickling from the sweat ...
Trepidation sets in.....
Only  I mean only .........
When noise is being made by them ....
Shall I move
Then
×{[STOP]}×
.....
When the crickets stop.
Fickle.
F-N
Snitches
.....
C.I.'s
You loose sight
Hearing
..Intensifies..
Fear when it's used right
Will help you ...survive ...
If you're being hunted
Eye see by .hearing .
And not
.

. Hearing .
I see what I'm hunting
And when I give my word
And I put it on my skin
Look you in the eye.
It's no longer a promise ring my friend
It's backed by blood love .
There is no fear on this earth
That I have ever seen
That disturbs
....
Which is  
The predator
I become
When
I'm called
On it .

Flip the switch I'm gone
I
Animal
Eyes black
Hackle
Up
Hind legs twitch
I can taste the air.
And when I savour the piquant
Salty flavour of twilight glistened
Terrified
Sweat....
I'm close enough
Feal the pink
Heat signature of your breath.
And when I slowly lower my head while opening my eyes and they have a far off
Sleepy
..
..Glassy  gaze..
Grinch like smirk
One tear escapes
From  the empathy
Part
Of me
Petitioning
The executioner
Because the
Governor stepped down
One tear
Breaches
Then hesitates
As if to look back and say
C'mon it's ok  ,
Let's go ....
As it travels past the cheek
Gets
hooked and pulled past the nose like a venturi
Stops confused on the upper lip .
And defuses into nothing
Changed
Nothing
.
I hide further back into
Happy places in my mind
Because
That  streak of
Saline
Left sparkling in the twilight is sadly evaporating
....
The natural order of things
Steps in
Removing
It
To see this through
That one tear
One tear ....
From the heart and backed by a sea...
Was your last advocate
And the last
Lost trace
Of my humanity
One
Just one
Just.....
.....
WAIT
.....
.....
..
.
.

.



.




HE
HhhhhhhhhH
.



Had one word for me......
No.....
Wait
What happend

Owe wow
This started with an analogy
Like poetry
Or my stupid attempt at it..
I got too  into it and although it ends like a confession

It's not.

K.


YOU HAVE MY WORD ON IT.


Ok I am sorry...
I'm off on
Side bar your....
  Now on with the memory ......
Er .....
Um

Poetry?

So those stupid little
Simple fickle
Insects
On your side
There to help  
keep  your word
Then turn coat and
Turn into rats
And tryin  flush you out...

Those creepy things all over me
In my hair
So so so
Very difficult...
On the cusp of
im·pos·si·bil·i·ty
Staying quiet in the blackberry's bleeding
Cuts and puncture marks leaking
CCHHHSSST
YA WE THINK HES UP IN THE BOULDER FIELD ....
OVERCCCCHHHST
K
DEADLY FORCE IS AUTHOURISED...CCCCHHHST
...........
...I ..KNOW .....
I * CCHHHHST*

FLOOD lights being all chauvanistic
Accosting
The night
Ogling her privates
The sweats stinging blood drying .
Bugs down  my pluggers creepily up my inner thigh ...
...
Some one with a really nice ****** rifle acting all "eyes on me "sayin  loudly
Hey cap cmere I think we found something
!!!!!
This is the needle hole
I need !!
These rookies think there in a movie

..mabe they'll make one out of me...
Kidding ...
Kinda
Anyway ...
Focus I gotta move quickly and silently  
One chance ....
One

Just
...
The commotion  
Bristling
Is ........ like the comforting sounds that loom from the kitchen on through the living room .
Sizzling bacon
And Saturday morning cartoons.
The noise they make is my cover
To escape..
Ants...
I think
Atleast I hop
...
keep going in my ear and up my nostrils
I turn quickly.
20 maybe 30 feet  
Across a  half light opening
And there's the sorta slow part of the river .....
The.............
Ice melt ....
And 1/4 mile the **** ...
An  

Turbines....
And the ****   lights ... An  
The 300 foot drop .


An ..
Giant maelstrom's .

As I turned to take of my shirt and slither out the blackberry patch
A large overly crusted with stickers
CANE.
grabbed my cheek poked my ...Eye. .
My body. Has no plans on being shot and cares not for accessories
I can live with the loss of an eye or scar's
Keep moving
Me on the other hand I'm still trying.......
Owe my head tilting tryin to get out the way..
Owwwwe....
Bit..
Get out the way ......
Owee wait I got a big one sinking into my lip..
Wooooe slow the role one second

Got one in my throat .
Then snap crackle ....snap
Like having 35 fish hooks in ya..trying to run and be quiet at the same time ....
I hit the river
And
O m G
I'm a pink quivering quiet crock ...
No body heard

No body saw ..
...I'm ...just....
SSSSKKKRRRT
baby Huey
The  assault rifle guy .
In the river puts a warm Glock against my ear ...
Kinda felt good actually ..
I put my hands and back feet down into the river bed .
Stop floating...
Wrapped my hand around a big rock ...
And slowly reached for my knife.....
He motioned me with ******* pointing to his eyes then to mine then back and forth as if saying I caught you.. .
I am predator
You prey
I got you
You submit
You understand
You see me
I see you  see me
You understand this is it ......
And motioned me to stand an turn around.
I complied  when I locked my fingers behind my neck .
He hit me in the kidney
Put his knife to my throat ....and quietly I felt my legs warming ....and I shivers
Allot a things
He said to me
One thing
Just one word

Just one

Just


. .

.

He said ....


Goodby
.....

And loosed his grip
Watch me float
Crying
.....
....


Wana know why ......


Maybe.


Some day

Maybe

Walk slow
Soul pains my spirit waning
.....
The vivid imagery,
..Visiting..
Broken
Dreams brings
Woe's
To
...Me...
Although
Truth be told
Without
These painful
Things....
Would ever I truly touch euphoria and such bliss ...
Without first plummeting head long into the abyss.....
Have no way to stop .... In full knowledge...
No resolve left . .with . .
5 digging.
And
10
Burri-ing ..
"My grave"
That is.....
.....
And halted
Eyes closed
One painfully swollen ******
Irritated pink pulsating pinky fingernail holding me half torn off
With lemon vinegar a salt on it .....
Then to hear the words .
I love you...
.........
I cry on a regular basis.
.....
From sadness to bliss .
Even the randomness and whatever this is ...
Im jazzed to be hear with ya'll

Ohhhhhh
It's
Yuuuuuuhhhh
......
MmmmmM
Yes I see
You
And when I do
Every thing in the world becomes
Instantly
Irrelevant
Sound ,
Light ,
Dark ,
Drop their novelties
And run
Covering
......ears ......
And eyes
From what
Could haunt
Anti-negotiations
Team
Steps in
Fear,
Logic,
Reason
Gone.
Released from the grip of
Gravity
No longer confined to reality....
Persona
Retracts from the surface
I  
Sink  back into me.
Hidden
In
"Only the vital organs"
Cage
And
OOOOOOO
Don't it turn my blue eyes
Black
An you got my hackle up
numb front





I should have known
....
You'r
Presence
Invokes
Cadence
My skull
Groans
Morbidly

I see images of Bella Lugosi
In Noseferatu
And hear skeletons crawling
Bones
Crackling
In bellicose
Baritone
Notes
See my tattooed tongue curled down to my chin
And hear the contemptuous defiance in my
Haka
Chest cavity
Cracking
Inside my
blood like lava
Gurgling
Churning
I writhe
In maize yellow ,
Vermillion swirling
Crucible
I WOULD RUN IF I WERE YOU.....
BUT I DONT WANT YOU TOO  
.....
YESSSSS
MY PRECIOUS
YESS YESS
I DO  
BIT..
PLEASE  
COME CLOSER
Just out of my reach
That's it
Dance with me
In my disturbed
symphonic
Yearning.
My heart pounds  
Like Thor's hammer breaking out of
Valhalla
Each blow
Spikes hairs on my back
And it flicks the sweat into a mist.
My jaws clenched
Fist's tighten till skin splits
The rythym
......
The air......
......clouds......
..Disappear..
.......
Convulsive
.....Exhale.....
Epic
Mystic mist
Crystalize
At the absence of temperature
EYES
Reflect
The sparkle
INHALE
In heaving
.....Gasps....
AND RELEASED
WITH
MISERABLE MORNFUL
HOWL
FUZZ
ITCHING
STATIC
UNDER MY FLESH
TINY WORMS CRAWLING
INVOLUNTARY
HALF Slobbering
SOBBGIGILING
..........
LYCANTHROPY
PRIME MORTAL
DISORDE8R

LUNATIC MOON
IN FULL
Collapsed
Deranged
Trying to stave off.....the..
Strange..
I can't arrange a complete ..
Tho.....

I'm changed
St
I feel the


Nemesis  

Fever bringer
You bitterme ...
And yet sweet is the obsession......
Lost time . .  
Where am I ?
Im so close ...
My rage enslaves me with cravings
Compounding
Shhhhhhhh
Listen
.  ...... .
I'm not a monster
I want you to come out of this  
Ok ....
I really do ...
How droll life would be without you...
I just don't know what I would do .
Dont move
I don't want to ruin you .. ....
Yet .....
Oldsmobile bravada
I am learning to hate again
You have become my pain my torture and mentor.
Now my
Victim
If you don't work after
I
rebuild
You're transmission
I'm gonna hack you into parts and
Sell you.
You .....
OOOOOOO owee I smashed finger again...
Uffxxyfn differ jekridrjjdiriijjfjfjjrjtjfjdkfjirifidjfj!!!!!!!!

Ohhhhhh
It's
Yuuuuuuhhhh
......
MmmmmM
Yes I see
You
And when I do
Every thing in the world becomes
Instantly
Irrelevant
Anti-negotiations
Step in
Fear,
Logic,
Reason
Gone.
Consequences?
***
Seriously?
HAH
TRIGGER
Ayite
Can we get
A
Perspective check
Please?
Well let's see
Consequences
I receive
Accrued from
What I do to you?
I could give a **** less.
And what you get as a result
Of what you did willingly
To me
You deserve.....

You bring me to the point of
Primeval!
Even gravity
Doesn't want anything to do with me
You've caused me to be insatiable
And unstable.
You took pleasure in
The pain you inflicted upon me.
My
Persona
Retracts from the surface
For fear of being involved in something it won't be able to un-see!




I should have known

....
You'r
Presence
Invokes
A sinister
Cadence.
Within .
Pushes me to play the
game .
No-one wins.
My skull
Groans
Morbidly.
Chest cavity
Cracking.
Inside my
blood like lava

My heart pounds  
Like Thor's hammer breaking out of
Valhalla
Each blow
Spikes my hackle
And it flicks the sweat into a mist.
My jaws clenched
Fist's tighten till skin splits
The rythym





Nemesis   .      ..
*****.. please ... ..
Let me see you come close to me
you ........
Fever bringer
You bitterme ...
And yet sweet is the obsession......
Lost time . .  
Where am I ?
Im so close ...
My rage enslaves me with cravings
Compounding
In a dystopian
Delirium.
The knell.
The pyre.
The requiem.
... The end ...
And then.....?
What shall become of me?
Now that I'm not who I was...
And I don't want to be
What I've been ...
Too long single minded
The emotion which was my motivation
Washed all the colors from the others.....

Can't stand
How
quick people
Jump to love then
Recant!
Take a fake offense
To
A
Comment which was actually meant to be a compliment.
I just
love that.
LoL
Like the other day
2 and a half weeks&11
Short days ago.
Someone said they
feel like my words were
"Clearly"
Full of ambiguity .
Instead of responding
I
Reacted.
And said
"It's so hard for me to lie to you.
That's what makes this
So difficult for me to say.
"I appreciate you and furthermore
Value your little constructs .
Thank you so much.

I don't know how to feel about that!
And quite frankly my friend.
your
Statement is without Merritt
And the fact
That it doesn't matter is irrelevant.
I'm not ambiguous
I'm ambivalent....
Atleast I'm pretty sure I am.
And ya
Ya know
I wouldn't be a liar if I told you
I think
Cryptically
So when I speak

I have a habit
Of being overtly descriptive,
Painting the picture with explicitly vivid depiction the subject just slightly out of focus so as to draw the listener in
And when they're in tune
I put them into the story .
Then I know there listening
Then I know hear me .
Then I know they understand me
Then I know they feel me.
The we peak together
And I
End abruptly.
And bounce ..
Wait for the phone call the next  morning.
When they say
Hey I'm sorry I fell asleep .I didn't hear the end to you're story.
.

Ok  
So here it
Is .


....

My time
In my life
In comparison.
Within
Humanity,
You and me,
As well as  
My defense
.....I lean on....

Hybrid tea
Blossom beautiful
In bloom

Caccoona
Pupa

Dull grey eyes
Speckled stubble.
Haunched silently.
Awkward and Shakey
Inept and antiquated
He swaggers
Pigeon toed
His walker creaks
Customized
With two tennis *****   .
Chilli on his chin
Elastic trousers bunched
Pulled up way to high.....
Back in the day .........
The greatest Man I've ever seen.
That will never change
Not to me ....
Not to anyone
Evev though  He's gone now

My best friend
My

DAD
!
HE LIVED LIFE LIKE TIME WAS A CURRENCY
AND HE NEW EXACTLY THE COST
KNEW WHO TO SPEND IT ON AND
IM LOST WITHOUT HIM
.
IF I COULD BE HALF THE MAN YOU WERE DAD
ID BE TWICE THE MAN I AM TODAY....
BUT I WOULD STILL MISS YOU THE SAME


Life
precarious
no
gratuitous
guarantees)