Intrinsic ,
My matrix.....
interwoven with twines of self sabotage and
Delusions of grandeur.
Like an intricate macrame....
Passion for perfection hate confrentation..an empath
Neurological anomoly
  high
IQ.........
So I do
to have a greater understanding
Of the meaning of loneliness ........
And in duress
imbued  
Great anti-social skills..  
I never will give up......
And when I don't .
I know I will
Regret........
more me time than most ....
Which honestly .....
It's probably best ........
Time passes while I over analyze,and practice.......
I pre assemble
And run scenarios in my mind ... .
Over and over and over .....  
I can see it I can be real about it .....
Foresee problematic
intricacies and extrapolate
Ramifications ........as the subtle beast slips in to ruin all these perfectly planned and plotted ......
Things......
In mid stream
Im sabatoged
To my knees on front street intentions of great self sacrifice and
Benevolence
Thrown to the four winds  .....
Errybody  got to walk by the stupid kid . ....
Nit picken up in the cool aid ......put themselves up on a pedestal ....while I go all mentally ......  

Woe....... Count to ten   .....
Before I wind up in solitary ....confinement ....then again ..... I bet I can .....naw ...... Forget it