out there as the frost melts off starry eyed  Lad 13

***** cheeks
bulgin at the seams pushin boundries cussin ,
chewin, perusing every female from His age up to 50 fightin everone .
every thing  
honery
mad at the world
voice changing immature
growin like a ****
B.M.O.C.
raw strength and so fill of pride he cant hide it
Un concerned Dads watchin Him
sorta metaphorically  
only he can see when its time to step in
cause hes walked a mile or two 2 in his shoes
puberty pimples and rage has set in
hes gotta give him room to bleed
he listens to his boy as if hes a childhood friend
lets him have full cart blanc in gesture and speach
makes him
feel like hes in
his click  
young and tuff!
makes the boy
feel at ease , old  -  er
and tuff
at this point on this crisp spring day
both smillin
ahhh those Irish eyes
closer than they've ever been
emotionally pretty close to the same age
suns beatin down hot  shirts off  
Dads playin hookey
met the boy at school with beef jerky
quarter ounce of ***
and a half rack of ice cold 18 ounce Raineers
and there off up on the mountain somewhere smokin a joint laughin sweatin
catchin brookies up by top of the world !
as it was later known to be
but at this point it was known as the ****** ponds up the road from the Rossinger store
and although
we had been there and many times since  
some how I knew and I think he did too
we both lavished and whole heartedly  savored every minute of those days
I was thinkin I Was a Man
He was feelin like a Kid
we flipped the bird to the world and nothin could touch that
He was the toughest *******
and the coolest

He got a little long in the tooth but never lost his edge
a full fledged Mosquito
it saddens me that  there arent many around that knows what that means
my Father
told his companion
not to say a thing ..    
to me

. of

.. his ...  

cancer

didnt want me to suffer
  
****** Cancer

He died not wanting to burden me  
a week before Christmas this year . Im numb

it hurts so bad
i wanna packit up take out a few enemies and fade and be done

then  I feel the sun

oh I can smell the beer
see his loving eyes and here  him say Awe
I love you Son.
and then I look at my Son .
I still have time to run with him awhile and try to build with him some memories

I will always love you Dad
not a minute goes by. I miss you

hello ?
oh hi
hey
is this poetry
?
it is?
oh write on
aye its me
I know and
Im sorry
I've been meaning to write
you
but Im not good at that type  
of thing
I just dont know what to say




...........
.......
.....
...
..
.
um no
its allergies
ok
ya no
letz see
"am I ok?"
no
not really
Im not tryin to be needy
but can we talk please
you don't have to agree or disagree
!
you don't have to
say or do anything
just really need some one to listen and
ya know what poetry
my whole life
you've always been there
for me
you let me  
BE
me
you're
beautiful
and i love you

graphic, wreck it maveric,
some things I write
you say ick
Whilst
others say quit it!
what I wright
lota  times aint right
**** it I live it
And to them
let me say
Im sorry ,
but
i cant appologise for it .
Im sure in youre own way you do the same thing.....

maybe

at least I hope so
I hope you fight
and bleed and
LIVE
I pray above everything that you stay that beautiful you



thank You for the read.
I appreciate it and I love you .
never let go.
a million poets
over a million years
could never
recreate
you
so
LIVE it like you stoled it
cause this is it
love,
like this is it 
you cainst do it different next time!
regret things you did instead of things you didnt
learn how
own-em 
with face up
write it down on paper
then crumple it
light it up
throw it hard into the face of fear
kick it in the nuts
call it for what it is  
it aint ****
give it one more good kick and laugh at it
ya I can get
****** explicit
So
dont listen  except to hear this


if I could only gift
you one thing



I will simply
have you accept this truth
that
this is all yours!
...
to do whatever you want!
all of it !
so go on  Gangsta
champion 
RISE!
LOVE!
BREATH!
EXPERIENCE !
LIVE SPIRIT!
never give up
never give in stand and fight
stay right
stay free
never hate
never capitulate
if you fret over yesterday
and worry what it will bring tomorrow
DONT
IT IS
A SIN
you burn that precious time on whats not real
leaving you
without recompensing anything back to God

some things will only be
manifest
through
the eyes
of the
one
who
sets
their
mind
to
!