Meandering minds twist and turn
heading for an affluent stream
torrent hearts wish and yearn
swimming toward the river of dreams

i am getting close to hopeless
my emotions are out of focus
soaking in the frozen coldness
poison potion, no open closeness

no hand to hold or chosen motions
coping with a social corrosion
broken soul of eroded notions
lowly tows of imploding oceans

trying to get by with high anxiety
I cry to the sky, why are you trying me
hiding from the grind of my society
I have my mind set on finding privacy

I've tried my best at buying entirety
dying inside, my pride is fighting me
impropriety as a light, my irony
wiping away my right to piety

reduce the minutia and move to the future
tune into to truth and tune out of the rumors
neuter the tumors that give birth to intruders
refuse to be abused by maneuvers of rulers

we need to rise and strike up the fires
the time has arrived to slide with the vipers
biting like spiders with wiser desires
driving our fangs into the spines of the liars

i'm not lonely, no touch wanted
all i need is some time alone
seeing solely, new day dawning
all i need is a path of my own

i'm not hungry, no money on me
all i need is a glass of wine
always running, new day wanting
all i need is to pass the time

i'm not crazy, no ground is shaky
all i need is some muddy loam
someday maybe, i will find safety
all i need is another home

If I was an elephant
I would go on a rampage and trample over every mouse

if I was a baboon
I would throw **** on every chimpanzee and orangutan

if I was a lion
I would roar so loud that it would confuse every other animal

if I was a python
I just might squeeze the life out of something

if I was a hippo
then I could hide under the water for hours at a time

if I was a cheetah
I could run away faster than anything

if I was a crocodile
I could take a chomp at anything that came too close

if I was a giraffe
I could see them coming from a mile away

but I'm a human, and unfortunately people expect more out of me

In west Virginia, they do things different
they don't want to advance too soon
if you don't believe me let me take you
to a west Virginia emergency room

deer hair sutures for stitching you up
then a duct tape bandage on your wound
redneck responses by physicians
doc needs a break to spit in the spittoon

this one is in critical condition
this poor feller has run out of luck
doctor redneck turns to mention
"go get my gun out of my truck"

it's hard to stay upbeat
when you're getting beat up
you don't worry about upkeep
when you can't keep up

I need something i can stand under
something I can understand
it's enough to put a man under
and i'm feeling under-manned

There's good and bad in everyone's past
there are steps i never want to re-trace
slow to grow, but anger fast
so much regret of love misplaced

any day could be our last
the past is better off erased
re-living is small, but the future is vast
let's never again face what we faced

from this day, all i ask
is that our hearts be inter-laced
i forever want to have you back
my mom can never be replaced

looking at this old photograph
a picture of smiles for you and me
i think about how you made me laugh
now, there's no smiles to see

images in my mind are different
almost like a clearer view
this photo is lacking pigment
since there is no me and you

standing in the october rain
one last time to hold her hand
she has the softest touch of pain
but this pain was never planned

raindrops fall to the beating of hearts
i'm soaked in my regrets
a final ending, two new starts
i am still glad we met

like my facebook page...facebook.com/Garyspoetrypage

finding a guide for my life is vital
i try to hide my dying recycled
downward spiral or final revival
there is something more

i go through trials like a cycle
defiant fibers of quiet reprisal
i need an eye for trying survival
there is something more

shining light of a rising idol
inviting the prize of flying primal
finding my sight is my final arrival
there is something more

You should hit like on my poetry page  facebook.com/garyspoetrypage

I am in the process of starting to read more posts here, as i will take a break from writing occasionally, to support poetry, and discover new writers. Thanks

i can wash away the hospital smell
i can wash away the tape marks on veins
i can wash away the dead blood cells
i just can't wash away the pain

Waiting for the bright lights of a dim train
this station is littered with dead hearts
wheels are turning toward thin pains
nothing stops the locomotion of a headstart

waiting for the screeching of steel wheels
one way ticket to cough and grasp
I wonder if this track still feels
derailed passengers of the lost and passed

Somewhere in the waking flood
there's a cell for making good
nothing hurts like breaking could
nothing hurts like aching blood

somewhere on unspoken scars
reality stabs like a smoking dart
nothing hurts like a token part
nothing hurts like a broken heart

when the fear goes away
it only runs and hides
waiting for the day
to take more manic rides

when the fear comes around
it puts me in the dirt
it really gets me down
it really makes me hurt

when the fear goes away
it always sits and waits
wanting me to stay
in those grey panic states

when the fear comes around
it wraps me in a rope
it only wants me bound
it wants to take my hope

when the fear goes away
it is only a trick
waiting in the grey
to hit me like a brick

when the fear comes around
it grabs me by the throat
it holds me on the ground
it wants to make me choke

window
i          i
n         n
d         d
o         o
window

the wood is cracking
the paint is old and worn away
lost in footsteps of forever
there's still spirits, here to stay

you can see visions
in the smoke cloud window glass
lost in smudges of evermore
wayward spirits of the past

walking along a creek side path
a detour from the day to day
stopping long enough for a bath
letting nature pay the way

i pause at a blackberry bush
a good place to get a meal
a sit down without any rush
letting nature pay the bill

finding me a cool place to lay
a shady space under trees
watching chipmunks and bluebirds play
letting nature pay the fees

bitter winds blow across this land
you can taste it on your tongue
bitter ends show costs we don't plan
hard to face it for the young

swollen hearts beat inside a dream
you can feel it in your chest
holding parts sweeter than it seems
hard to heal it at our best

bitter winds are cursing the air
you can hear it in the breeze
litter wins when it versus the care
hard to bear the times like these

no fuel for the flame
dusty globe
broken piece...shine missing

carbon faded flashback
tattered wick
twisted wax...extinguished

grey glare of frozen time
coldest burn
shining light...on nothing

blurry image, out of focus
closing in on hopeless notice
broken glow, prone to coldness
holding on to low the closest

lambent lacking, saddened blackness
lasting facts of tragic practice
shattered glass, facet blasted
passing granted hands the fastest

I don't need permission to fit my own vision
**** on giving in to this system prison
it's all fiction, i stiffen when i listen
i'm driven by the hissing of friction

it's my decision to resist with suspicion
unforgiven for fits written like a religion
lists of wishes and living submissions
on a trip to distance myself from tradition

I'm kind of like a hip hop hippie
maybe more of a heavy metal gypsy
*** pistols, punk rock roots
kind of country like cowboy boots

Maximal tactics, i'm moving diagonal
fast attack, mad like a rabid animal
I can scramble em and eat em up like a cannibal
silence of the lambs, you can call me hannibal

factual master of blasting the practical
grammatical fractions that act like a manual
brashly cast and I smash like a radical
glad to put a badass on a lasting sabbatical

I hit with a fist and it's fit for the mystical
put **** in the britches of the illiterate pitiful
I get physical on the brittle when condition is critical
on a mission to finish putting rips in the typical

when I wake up
it's time to bake up
one hit
the world starts to break up

when I get up
I bust a hit up
inhale
then feel what I lit up

It looks like this piece doesn't fit
fool it, force it to call it quits
weaken worse words with our wit
lashing out at the fire licks we lit

guard the ghost of glitter and gleam
drill it, draping the drastic dream
soldier seems so out of scheme
unsealed structure ******* steam

let lowlifes linger on the lines
mark it, make it meet our minds
**** the crawler, keep our kinds
because its better behind our blinds

We have lived so many years
inside this house of lies
the furniture has been re-arranged
by the tears of the red mans eyes

there's a lot of skeletons in the closet
haunted hallways, room to room
tortured victims in the cellar
and a past that is soon to doom

We have killed so many dreams
inside this house of lies
the furniture has been re-arranged
by the tears of the black mans eyes

Holding on to anger as if it were gold
even the most precious metals are cold
with no value, my soul has been sold
payments come in, as I grow old

firing anger like a silver bullet
when given a trigger, I always pull it
metal headed straight for the gullet
like hot lead, with no way to cool it

In a fortress of bricks and mortar
he doesn't know what he's living for
the inside walls become distorted
a world of madness behind the door

hiding from the sounds of people
his heart still bleeds like an open sore
stairs going down, are the steepest
and he isn't going down no more

These buildings are just a front
for darkened alleys and sewer rats
where the scavengers gather and hunt
with enough sense to hide from cats

shocked expressions on ***** bricks
pain written on a transient's face
dirt can be washed, but tragedy sticks
where we hide our own disgrace

We will make a lot of promises
then we will forget them

we will speak of peace and brotherhood
then send more troops

we will make resolutions to stop smoking
while the world burns

we will feel the effects of our decisions
then blame someone else

we will say "what would Jesus do"
then do what the devil would do

we will talk of our mistakes in the past
then continue destroying the future
.
.
.
when that ball drops, we will drop the ball

Life is not a kind fight
when it's all for naught in hindsight
a darkness to remind light
a darkness that can really blind sight

I dont need a limelight
to climb to my own mind height
all I need is a sign bright
all I need is to make the time right

What can they say about me that hasn't been said already
if words were really arrows, I'd be dead already
they can do their best to let dread fall steady
if they had their way they'd chop me up into red confetti

throw me into the air and make it a celebration
if words were like a country, I could sell a nation
they can do their best to try to derail my station
if they had their way I'd be in hell's elevation

Born into fortune, and shown purest love
by hands softer than a lamb's fleece
a gift sent from the moon above

as he gets older, his rage begins to increase
beware, those who tend to sheep
for every lamb there is a beast

The sun won't come out tomorrow
bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...
there'll be guns

Believe what you want to believe
there is no temperance or virtue
they will break your heart
they will only hurt you

Who do you think you're ******* with
do you think you can break my will
I have friends on the lower east side
all they do is ****

just why do you want to **** with me
do you think you can make me cry
I know people who will **** for pride
do you want to die

It's time to release this beast
**** this disease with a feast for the least
turn the keys that free the deceased
decrease the seething and increase the peace

oh no, my eyes start to glow, I got something to say and it's coming from my soul
so low, my whole starts to show, letting go of what I know and holding on to what I owe

I choose what's good for the goose
to bruise the losing and let the gander loose
tune the fuse and use the fruitful juice
truth coming through to loosen the noose

I sit here, as high as a kite
as the day dies to the night
let wrong say goodbye to the right
another shadow to lie to the light

I can be as cold as a stone
I chose this road as a home
you won't find a road as alone
and my spirit is as old as a bone

I can get as hot as the sun
worldly thoughts, not of this one
I don't know how I got in this gun
but I'm glad to have a shot at the fun

So many things that these hands have made
a faded page for which they paid
jaded pain and a heart so splayed
these hands have made a past that stayed

they are capable of making disdain and hate
staying shaky for their aiming fate
stained by debating ways as of late
these hands are making a day that can't wait

grass blades whistle and the winds do rave
the fires rage and can't be staved
there's no way you can be saved
these hands were made to dig your grave

This is my picture of mankind
all this **** inside my fan mind
man, this crap is all I can find
blowing in my eyes, like mice who ran blind

(pictures flash like a snapshot
pouring out fluid to make the tap hot
words that fit into the gap slot
this geography isn't what a map taught)

looks like I can't see a **** sign
these thoughts tie me like a hand bind
rope marks glowing like a tan line
thinking is like stepping on a land mine

It's not a blessing
it is more like a curse
a life of bad decisions
only makes it worse

it's like a lesson
their pain through my verse
I can't think clear enough
to put my thoughts first

It must be meant to be
like an angel sent to me
a beautiful creature of love and empathy

she feels all of the pain
and she tries to help in vain
she tastes my tears of heartache and pain

she tried and she tried
something was missing inside
she realized that my spirit had died

it must be meant to end
these wounds weren't meant to mend
she was an angel god never meant to send

I can't help it
sometimes it pours out of me
the doubt of me
it's an downward mentality

I can feel it
burning deep inside of me
I lie to me
I tell myself it's sobriety

I can't fight it
it always gets the best of me
It's testing me
trying to **** my destiny

I can see it
taking over all of me
it's calling me
it's sure to be the fall of me

We can only know what we want to know
hear what we want to hear
most don't want to show their pain or their fear

we can only say what we want to say
see what we want to see
most don't want to pay a backlashing fee

we can only show what we want to show
make it all disappear
most don't want to know what we see and hear

Patience, lord grant me patience
I'm gonna break and I can no longer take it
basics, all I need are the basics
everything is fake and I'm gonna break it

(I guess I'll fall behind
I'll never be in first place
my life ain't a contest
it's just a hearse race)

status, I don't need no status
why do we buy everything they throw at us
habits, I am breaking the habits
I'd rather be last than first in the madness

If love were ever alive, it was alive inside of our hearts
maybe where one love leaves off, another love soon starts
that doesn't mean that there's no pain, yes it really smarts
maybe one heart can be put back together, where the other parts

I've spent a lot of time on this planet
watching these creatures who inhabit
they say god made it, and it's granted
god won't be the one to **** it

for every gun there's someone to man it
flies with barrels aimed at maggots
they build a fire, then they fan it
flames pull them in like a magnet

they **** each other, and they even plan it
on this planet where I have landed
mankind are the ones wreaking havoc
it's hard for me to understand it

Absent father, suffer mother
missing hand that held the other
breath of life, given to smother
the future of sister and brother