I told her marriage was an institution.
She went mental.
I consoled myself with shooting the tortoise.
It was for the best.
There was no way it would win the greyhound derby.
She was beyond reason.
I was bringing it out of its shell.
I sort of laughed uncontrollably.
She didn’t.
She actually was trying to bring it out of its shell.
I suggested mad passionate love.
She wanted chocolates.
How about a toffee crisp and a fumble.
How about you dropping dead.
Who would pick up your pills if I dropped dead.
I would pick up my own pills.
What, you don’t know what day of the week it was last Thursday.
I was in love last Thursday.
Not with me.
No, with the pet shop owner
You do know he’s married.
He was leaving her for me.
He’s married to a bloke.
They’re both leaving their wives for me.
Is this about the tortoise.
What tortoise.
Never mind, let's get married.
Just now.
Yes, we can get married in the chemist shop
Somehow that makes sense.
What about children.
You could get them at the supermarket.
Three for two.
They hide them behind the screens now.
Children.
No silly, the alcohol I think.
They don’t hide the chocolates.
Did you really shoot the tortoise.
Yes, but the bullet bounced off its shell.
That’s good.
Not really, the pet shop owner was holding it.

The rain washed the blood away
And for a time I became human again
Children with dead eyes
Play amongst corpses rotting in the morning sun
A father prays to some god
Hoping for a miracle
Abound by his faith
Certainly a deeper faith than mine
For the moment only the gun is god
In these quiet times
I think of people sitting at desks
Being productive
Dreaming dreams better than mine
Building a future
The survivor alarm kicks in
I've been here too long
The scene changes
The father has found his god
For a time he becomes a soldier
Two gods about to collide
One through total frustration
The other with the dimension of time
He once read a book
The romance of war
He always thought the title should have read
The two faces of war
The bullet killed him instantly
Tomorrow he would be another rotting corpse
No romance there
People at desks building futures
Children with dead eyes play in the morning sun.

Darling I’m thinking of getting implants.
Right fine, I was going to the gardening centre today, we can go together
No silly, breast implants.
You already have two *******.
I want bigger ones.
How much do they cost.
Eight thousand pounds.
What, four thousand a breast, are they gold.
It’ll be worth it, and you are a breast man.
For that price, I would expect a lifetime subscription for Farleys Rusks.
You wait till you take my bra off.
That’s another thing, a new wardrobe.
Think of it as a Valentines present.
Wouldn’t you like a ring instead.
No, I want bigger *******.
I want a bigger ****, but I can’t have one.
Well actually you can darling.
Not for those prices.
No, the surgeon says he can take a bit of fat off my ******* and insert it into your *****.
What, you’ve been discussing me with the surgeon.
Yes, seemingly it’s the rage.
Oh I don’t know, seems a bit Frankenstein to me.
Just think, you could be walking about with me inside you.
That’s another thing, you’re always complaining about your *******.
Only when you grab them like rugby *****.
I get excited easily.
Why don’t we go to bed and discuss it.
Oh no you don’t, before I know it you’ll be getting a nose job.
Look at my ******* darling, now imagine them bigger, can you see it.
All I can see is pound signs.
Put that extra large ***** inside me, how are you feeling now.
I’m feeling poor.
You’re not looking properly, visualise me taking my bra off, you’re getting *****, you can’t take your eyes off them. What do you see now
My god it's amazing, I can see it now, do you think I can dip my rusk in your milk.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
This was never in dispute
It was how Jack fell down
With severe lacerations to his crown
That the jury had to conclude
Jill had a bun in the oven
The news was all over town
The bakers wife was aghast
Her husband and his shady past
He liked a cream ****
Though, when cautioned down the red light district
Cream was never mentioned in the Constables statement
Back to that ill fated day on the hill
Jill says Jack was going down, on her
He was certainly on the edge
A couple walking their dog, state the baker was on the ledge
This was later dismissed when the couple admitted they didn’t have a dog
This was light relief for the jury in this sorry affair
Mrs Black didn’t turn up to church on Sunday
The stand in vicar didn’t know this, being new
All hell broke loose as the witness swore
Jill gave birth on the floor
A black child appeared
There was uproar
The baker shouted to his wife, with a frown
Three women stood up
So he sat down
They all turned to the bench
The Judge was holding his gavel
Somewhat in despair
Dna later found traces of poor Jacks hair
The Judge was taken down, mumbling
She said she was on the pill, Jill
That was the end of this sorry tale
Though, the papers ran amok
Mondays headline read
Jack and Jill went up the hill, with the folks of Trill for an **** and thrill
But things got out of hand
The Judge saw red, and whacked Jack dead
And they all came tumbling after.

Timelike and the decaying bodies piled high cease to amuse the vultures now

Single shots give the rebels confidence

They attack in force

Heavy machine gun fire from the west toss bodies into the air like ragdolls

Textbook

Vultures  tearing at eyes of the dead and dying

Bullets to precious for mercy

The night brings natures other cleaners

Muffled screams heighten the reactions as night vision survey death in technicolor

The ponderous wait continues

Stroking metal like some *** provoking act

Followed only by counting lives little savers, bullets of love

The vultures dance impatiently

The stroking intensifies

Hairs stand ***** as movement waves majestically towards its final objective

A sudden calm unfolds

Nature watches in awe as love is unleashed in her garden for the final time

The call to bayonets now, takes man down to his lowest form of savagery  

Eyes now meet, screaming death the ferocious last act of  men past the point of madness

Blood flows as metal slice through skin and bone, swaying death the final frenzy as screams die the days end

Men cry as they survey the last atrocity of human barbarity

Battle ended, vultures marvel feasting on the final meal

Battle hardened men massacre memories  leaving Celebrations a distant Country as blood red hands refuse to wash

They would never return.

You look the part
Dressed to ****
You hook me in
Part of the thrill.
But I’ve played this game too
We wait to pursue
He chats you up
But he’s not the one.
Your eyes say that.
He has to run.
How will it play
Will you walk away
You change the scene
Let him in
A little laugh
Such a sin
He’s not for you.
You know that too
I send you a drink
Not to late
You smile inviting
Could be fate
But I’ve played this game too.
How we pursue
I'm not the one
Not tonight
But someday before it’s too late
Who knows
Could be fate.

Let me introduce myself
My name is suicide
I live in the shadows
Just at the back of your mind
You’ll probably never meet me
Sometimes i’m on posters
Usually in your doctor’s waiting room
You may glance at me
Put me to the back of your mind
That continuous cough
Your main concern today
Sure you’ll get better soon
Now we come to the other guy
I’m at the forefront now
Doesn’t seem to be any alternatives
No introduction needed
No explanation required
Sometimes we have a trial run
Just to see
But really our mind is made up
The poster stares right at him
Taunting, asking what he’s thinking
What is he thinking
The same thoughts as yesterday
The day before yesterday
Today
Tomorrow
The cough would have responded to antibiotics
But it was never really about the cough.

It was only fifty quid to join.
Looking For An Affair.
So is the girl next door.
What I could do with the girl next door.
Joined immediately.
Met big Mary the wrestler.
Lost that fight.
Moved onto Jill who told me it was such a thrill.
Told me her life story twice.
Rechecked website just to make sure I didn't get affair mixed up with affliction.
Third time lucky, met Jasmine, her husband didn’t understand her, fantastic I thought, now we’re talking.
Three hours later we were still talking.
So double rechecked website just to see if I was due a counselling fee, complained no end to them.
Was promised immediate action, they would hook me up with sultry Sandra.
So anyway it was a real shock when I met the wife, who I certainly would’ve demanded an explanation, if a watertight alibi was at the ready.
The no wonder I need a woman cos you’re never around just didn’t seem appropriate at the time, and for once she was lost for words.
So anyway, we decided she would join another website.
I would take up counselling full time.

She was never young, that was her problem
Always direct
Pregnant
That wasn’t a problem
Why bother informing
You should know
What should I know
Ambition comes before brat
Dead before life started
So strange
He started taking life
Years of taking life
Years of hate
Years of nothing
Unexpected encounter
Ambition achieved
Both hardened
She can’t have children now
Not now
It was like they both killed
Killed everything worth living
Both pragmatic as they said goodbye
To life maybe chosen
Every book ends
Not always to  sequel
She lived her work
He just lived
Life twisting as life does.
Until the book is finally closed.

What’s wrong, you look like thunder.

It’s those two birds I’m going out with, Tuesday and Thursday.

What’s the problem, get the days mixed up.

No, I call them Tuesday and Thursday, I take them out Friday and Saturday.

You do lead a strange life, so what’s the problem.

The problem is Tuesday, she wants to go out on Saturday.

Well, why don’t you take Tuesday out on Saturday afternoon, leaving you free to take
Thursday out on Saturday night.

My god, that’s genius, that’s what I’ll do.

# Monday morning

So how did your weekend go.

Aw man, what a disaster, took Tuesday to the bowling in the afternoon, totally forgot Friday worked there.

Wow there, who the hell is Friday.

She was casual.

So what happened.

She phoned Thursday that’s what happened.

Oh, sounds painful.

No, the painful part was when the wife turned up.

Oops, bet you were wondering what day it was, can I see the film.

Get you a copy later, now I’m forced to stay with Monday for awhile.

What did the wife say?

She wasn't my wife but Wednesday's
Wednesday is married to a woman?

Yeah she's a little freaky. So there I was with Tuesday, Wednesday's wife, Thursday on the way and Friday in my face about Thursday.

                                                      
                                                Paul Gaffney & Lily Nurmi.

He reckoned she was about seventeen
Tight young ******* fitted snugly into a tight young body
She stripped naked as the sea gently stroked the shore
He looked past her to the rocks five hundred metres to the left
That's where he would be
Perfect position for the perfect shot
She saw he was engrossed in her
Old enough to be her father
Wonder if he's getting excited
She would be the first to be shot
Life ended before it begun
He would have a chance
Silhouetted between the rocks
It would be a waiting game now
She glanced up to see if he was still watching her, he was
A nice feeling ran through her
He'd played this game many times before
Lasting hours, sometimes days
Death the ultimate price, always death
She didn't understand
She was willing him to her, letting him take what she was gladly giving
He tried to recall his own youth, nothing came
He was sure a naked young girl would be every boys dream
Now he just wanted a woman to hold tight
Just to be there
He glanced past her one more time
Slowly retreating using the rocks as a shield
The traffic began to build up as he reached the sanctuary he called home.

She looks down on the marriage
Picture of woe
Words of, told you so
Open your eyes
Fool in disguise
Pretty doll dressed in white
Porcelain pieces shiny bright
Escaping from words
I told you so
With nowhere to go
Dreams like the flowers
Withered and gone
Just like the fairy tale
That didn’t belong
Porcelain girl
Dreams so bright
Closes the door
Into the night
Keepsake of a picture
Pretty in white
She tried her best
Just wasn’t right
The girls a woman now
Daughter in tow
Harsh lesson for grandparents
Who didn’t want to know
Now they live with the words
I told you so.

Topeo Julie, she shows you what to do
She'll take your hand and see you through
Never asking questions whats your name
Its all the same its in the game
Topeo Julie stranded without grace
Fifty dollars in any place
Forcing a smile to please the guy
A gala performance amidst the sighs
Remembers a time not long ago
A younger girl upon the road
Seeking excitement and things to do
Left for the city to see them through
Topeo Julie cries with shame
Reads the letter with her mothers name
We're doing fine how are you
Your friends are asking for you too
A busy night in a town of doom
Faraway scream from an empty room
People in a hurry to get on by
Nobody rushes to reason why
Topeo Julie cries in vain
The final words of her mothers name
Topeo Julie stranded without grace
Fifty dollars left in place.

I was told you might be able to help me.
I can try.
You’ve read my notes.
No, I never read notes from professionals, they tend to use big words that require dictionaries.
So you know nothing about me.
Afraid not.
So I’m wasting my ******* time being here.
I don’t know.
What the hell do you mean you don’t know.
Just what I say, I don’t know till you tell me.
Well, see if you took the time to read my ****** notes, you would know.
So tell me.
Can you not just look at my notes now.
No.
*******, I was ******* attacked, does that help you.
It’s a start.
I was *****.
Now I see why you’re angry.
I’m angry at the ******* getting away with it, I’m angry at the court for letting the ******* get away with it.
You should be, you’ve been ***** twice.
I want to **** him, that’s all I think about, 24/7.
How would you do it.
I would stab the *******.
Do you want me to show you how to do it quickly.
You would do that.
Yes, this is the knife you would use, hold it.
Okay show me.
Now before I do this, I do have to explain something to you. He will be dead, and you certainly will go to prison for a long time.
I know, but at least he’ll be out of my mind.
Afraid not, if anything he’ll be in your mind even more. Everyday you’re locked up he’ll be ****** you over and over again.
Fucksakes, is this my life forever now.
No, follow me, bring the knife with you.
This is a lifesize bad guy, I’m going to draw a circle on him, I want you to plunge the knife into the circle.
You are kidding aren’t you.
Indulge me.
Okay then, here goes.
Great, the knife went in four inches, you’ve killed him.
Is that it.
No, now I want you to tense your whole body, and when I shout ****, you attack that bad guy, and you don’t stop. I want to hear you screaming, I want you to plunge that knife in as many times as you can, I want to see you crawling on the floor physically exhausted. You ready.
Ready.
****.
Six  minutes eleven seconds, a new record. How do you feel.
I’m ******* angry, but it’s a different kind of anger, it’s hard to explain.
You’re back in control.
Yeah, I feel different, but how long will it last.
I’ll not lie to you, they’ll be times when it’ll come back to you, but the mad woman with the knife in her hand will override it.  As you get stronger, it’ll get easier.
Can I be alone with a guy again.
You’re alone with me.
I know, but I’ve got a big knife to protect me, I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to carry it about with me.
Was that a bit of humour.
It was sort of. Can I visit you again, are you allowed to drink with your patients, is that against the rules.
It’s only against the rules if I pay.
Is that your idea of humour, do you want to go for a drink now.
I might get arrested taking you to a bar just now.
No I wouldn’t mention it to anybody.
Actually I was more thinking of your mascara running down your face, your puffy eyes, and how you look like you’ve been in a fight.
Fucksakes you might have said something.
I was leaving it till tomorrow night, gives us something to talk about whilst you’re buying me beer.
You’re not very good in relationships, are you.
What makes you say that.
I don’t know, I just think you get dumped a lot.
Even more to talk about tomorrow night.
You like getting dumped, don’t you.
Sure you’ll sort me out tomorrow night.
I will, I’m going to give you all sorts of advice, change your bad ways,
make you more presentable to the opposite ***.
I see a lot of beer getting bought for me then, look forward to it.

It’s a tragedy
Both parents
Road accident
Still, life goes on
That’s the real tragedy
She left him
His first love
For a gay guy
That was a  tragedy
He still had his sense of humour though
You needed a sense of humour when a gay guy steals your woman
She wanted you back
It wasn’t working out with the gay guy
Mainly because he left you for a gay guy
Tragic
The world was his oyster
The mud suited
Camouflaged the loss
Hid the tragedy
Kept his sense of humour though
Met her years later
She remembered his sense of humour
What a tragedy
She was dying of cancer
Still, life goes on.

The man with the gun is truly powerful.
The man with the pen will take your life.

You Never Know.

The man looks very important.
He has a clipboard in his hand.
He stops me in mid stride.
Excuse me sir, do you know what planet you’re on.
Just goes to show you.
Appearances can be deceptive.


          
                        
Batman watched as Superman flew into sight.
How goes it Superman.
Terrible, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.
Pray tell my good friend.
Well, I was flying over Manhattan when I spotted Wonder woman naked on top of a building.
What was she doing.
She was sort of writhing in a real **** way, just inviting me to join her.
What did you do.
I got naked in mid air and flew right down there.
Bet she got the shock of her life.
She did, but not as much as the invisible man.

I shouldn’t be with you
In this hotel
In this bed
In this relationship
No
I should be with my wife
In my house
With my newborn child
Living the life of suburbia
But I’m not
Instead
I’m planning an engagement
The future
I’m now two men
Living the lie
Waiting for the inevitable to happen
And it will.

It’s only love
Tells you in the card
Flowers to go

What do you know
Let her go again

Let me whisper in your ear
It’s in the air
Are you the one

What do you know
Let her go again

Can I just say, you look great
I sometimes wonder
What would it be like
Me and you

What do you know
Let her go again

Sometimes when I'm all alone
I hear this sound
Take a chance
It could be love
So strange, I hear another

What do you know
Let her go again.

She was having a party
A divorce party
He wasn’t invited
They came prepared
Balloons, rozettes, banners
More people than were at the wedding
Val was very popular
He listened intently
Something about Val, his soulmate
The loud girl with the big heart
He would miss that
The music played on till dawn
He was waiting in the street for the taxi to arrive
She was saying goodbye to the final few
He caught her eye
Sounded like a great night
Yeah, you know me
So how does it feel to be a single woman
Don’t know yet
How long you away for
Three, four months
Gives a call when you get back, we’ll go for a drink
Yeah, that would be nice
Taxi’s here, be seeing you Val
Tony
Yeah
Love you
Love you too Val.

Her misshapen ******* were the straightest things about her.
Unlike her personality which corkscrewed wine going out of fashion.
We met on the other side.
In the dead of night.
I was dead, I said goodnight.
She was living on vampires delight.
Do you want me to go down.
Go down, are you nuts.
Go down and get more wine.
Yeah you go down and drink yourself to death.
I’ll do that, see you in the a.m.
Great, tell me how I did.
I will.
Seems I did great.
Don’t remember you being naked the last drink I saw you.
I came back for your promise, you made me work for it.
This ****’s been violated, hope you didn’t work to hard.
It was worth it, wine and frustration and ******* lead to come-sation.
Wish I was there.
You were to a point, we shared a joint.
Talking about joints, don’t you have one to get back to.
Do you know, you can tell a lot about a man from his wine collection.
You would know, you drank most of it.
Do you fancy doing it in the shower.
Did you see ******.
I’ll get us a refill, goodbye *** is so hot.
Goodbye would be hotter.
Is this a good wine, I’ve poured it on my *******.
What, that’s a hundred pounds a bottle, put it back.
Double pleasure for you when you lick it off.
You don't lick wine like that, you savour it.
Well savour it then, fifty pounds a breast.
Would be cheaper killing her, nobody would miss her anyway.
Is wine a good investment.
It was till I met you.
My dad’s left me some money, he was an oil baron, you know.
When you say oil baron, do you mean he delivered oil.
No, he owned wells in Texas
You’re winding me up.
No, I’m worth a fortune.
Wine is a good investment. We should go back to bed and discuss our future. Things are finally looking up.

The final piece of makeup
She becomes the woman
No kiss on those ruby lips
All for show
Let’s not spoil the glow
For the woman on the go
Competing with Miss high heels
Not forgetting ***** *****
The other one who loves herself
Women in general
Checks the mirror for the approval seal
She’s hot
The real deal
Turns and asks
How do i look
I don’t know
I left you years ago.

Can I buy you a drink
Feeling sorry for me cos I’m in a wheelchair
No, just my policy when I go into a new bar, I buy the first girl I see a drink, so, gin and tonic is it.
No, ***** and coke.
See, there you go, we’re arguing over drinks already, that’s nearly a relationship.
Yeah, typical man, definitely not a good start, wouldn’t you say.
Definitely, I’m Paul by the way.
Geraldine.
Dont know if I like that name, Geraldine, might have to change it.
So let me see now Paul, you get me the wrong drink, you don't like my name, but even worse, you want to change it. You might excuse me for not feeling the love here Paul.
You’re so right Geraldine, what we need is another drink to thrash out our differences, we don't want the kids to suffer.
I don’t know what it is, but I’ve got this urge to **** you, in a nice way if you know what I mean.
You know what's happened here don't you Geraldene, you’re in love.
Well I better get out of love quick, there’s my boyfriend coming in.
Can’t wait to see his face when you tell him, can I take photos.
This is Michael.
How you doing Michael, Geraldine was telling me all about you. You’re a lucky man, we were just discussing kids names.  So where did we get to Geraldine.
I was thinking Paul if it was a boy.
Better not tell you what my mother said after she picked my name.
No, tell me.
She said she could **** me everyday after choosing it.
Did she, mothers, who would have them.

He slit her throat, and watched as six pints of blood ruined the new floor that had taken him the best part of the day to lay
That was typical of the woman
Red was her favourite colour
This would amuse her greatly
Anything to cause him grief
She was such a messy woman
Shoes, don’t get him started on shoes
One hundred pairs
Who needs one hundred pairs of shoes
He should phone the police
They would understand
Probably be sympathetic
Surprised you never done it years ago mate
In fact, best thing to do is cut her head off
Put it on a pole
Hang it up in the street to deter other women
That’s what he would do
It worked, women were running and screaming everywhere
He watched as ten Police cars stopped off to congratulate him
You okay mate
Yes thanks lads, never been better
Just cooking Mary for lunch.

Can you see my VPL through this dress?
Hold on till I look out the window.
What you looking at.
I’m searching for the spaceship.
Is that your idea of a joke.
Hey, you’re the one speaking Klingon.
Okay dummy, can you see my underwear through this dress.
Lift your dress up to I see
Just look before I lamp you.
Okay, you appear to be VPL clear. You wearing thongs.
No, thongs are my pulling pants, and since I've pulled you I no longer need to wear them. Or do I.
Seems a shame, you could be turning me on whilst your out ******* with your friends.
That is true. I could even replace you with some nice guy.
You just can’t go about replacing us guys like engagement rings.
Hardly my fault guys want to marry me. Apart from you, that is.
I would love to thingamy you
See, you can’t even say the word. I really should replace you, I deserve better.
Okay, you have my permission to chat up guys, if it helps your self-esteem.
I don’t need your permission. Why the hell can't you be jealous when guys chat me up.
Aw, do you want me to throw a hissy fit?
Yes, that would be the normal thing to do.
I expect guys to chat you up. That way I need to work harder to keep you.
That’s the worse backhanded compliment I’ve ever heard.
Think I heard your taxi beeping. You go knock them dead girl.
I’m having a serious chat with you tomorrow.
Sounds serious, just check my diary. Okay, I appear to be VPL free tomorrow.
Very funny, you just wait.

Mummy how did daddy die
He died at the war of the roses
No, he couldn’t have mummy, that was hundreds of years ago
It wasn’t that war of the roses honey
What one was it
It was the chocolate roses honey
What happened mummy
I found out they weren't for me.

He knew what women wanted
After all, he was a man of the world
None of that namby pamby stuff for his woman
Oh no, he was a practical man
So when she opened her presents
To find an iron and a hoover
She was ecstatic
She was that ecstatic
That when he came home the next day
To find his shirts pressed
The house spotless
Her gone
He couldn’t believe it.

Big fat guy ******* a ciggie
Pushing a pram
Will he be around for his next birthday
Does he give a ****

Young kid wearing a suicide vest
Full of hate
What's his fate
Sees his mother as he pushes the button
Is it too late

Young girl in the clinic
Time not right
Life to lead
Her body
You have to concede

The Soldier on the screen
Sees the target
Surrounded by children
Is it a moral dilemma
The few for the many
Is it his duty
Does he walk away

They all walk down the same street
Don’t meet
But united in the universe of time
Life will go on
It always will
Actions have consequences
What would you do.

Brian, you’re so boring.

So you keep telling me.

Why can’t you be more spontaneous.

Did I or did I not bring you in a daffodil.

You brought in a dandelion.

Think of it as a gesture.

That’s what I mean, it's a token, now Mary's boyfriend robbed a bank to buy her a ring.

That's the guy who’s doing ten years.

That's besides the point.

So you want me to rob a bank for you.

No, I want you to be more like Tasman's boyfriend, he went on top of a moving truck with a banner saying, I love you Tasman. So romantic.

That was the guy who died when the truck went under a low bridge.

That’s not the point.

And another thing, at the funeral, why were your friends calling me Brent.

I was trying to make you sound sophisticated.

Oh you did that alright, Brian Crude became Brent Crude, your idiot friends thought it was hilarious.

Well, how the hell was I to know it was an oil company.

He thought to himself, you want something romantic, I’ll ****** well give you something romantic.

Why did you give me a giant Teddy bear? This is what I mean! Jist think for two seconds, will you.

Two days later

Erm. What's this?

If I didn't know better, I'd think that it's a letter.

Ha-ha. It's addressed to the teddy bear: "Only for teddy".

Well then you should give it to teddy.

Don't be silly, a stuffed animal can't read. And it's your hand writing.

Well I'm sorry but it's between me and Teddy.

#later that night while he was out, she just couldn't help herself.

"Dear Teddy,

I hope you're well. I'm sending you this letter because as we discussed earlier, I won't be home tonight. I wanted to make sure you'd take good care of my girl. Just remember, she likes:

- warm cuddles
- chocolate
- chick flicks
- long conversations
- kissed on the forehead
- roses

I knew you wouldn't be able to pick up some of the above so DHL is delivering the chocs, Eat Pray Love the movie and roses tonight. Be sure to be home at 8 pm.

I expect you to take your responsibilities seriously. One wrong cuddle can make her over think all night. I better not find her over thinking. You know how special she is to me.

Best regards,

Brent"

A Paul Gaffney& Lily Nurmi production.

I could tell by the intensity she knew the game
But I was far superior
She was there for the taking
She was toying with me
Does she know who she’s dealing with
The gesture with her hand
How dare she
Fate was surely on my side
After all, I was a man of the world
She was watching me
Like she knew my next move
She was challenging me
Challenging me
How dare she
I composed myself
Honour was at stake
She was smiling, inviting
I had her
She battled well
But knew it was the end
She screamed
I might only be four, but I can count
That was a two you threw
Now get down the snake you cheat
Mummy, he’s cheating again
He’s a man honey, that’s what they do
Someday a man would come to the door and ask for her hand
I wouldn't stand in his way.

The words on the toilet door
Travellers of the world
Leaving their mark
All amusing, till
Six words jumped out
WAS IT YOUR LIFE TO LOSE
What was he inferring too
Couldn’t have been himself
No, that wouldn’t make sense
Suicide, was it a selfish act of suicide
A surgeon, the impossible operation
Men going to war
Is he asking the generals
But surely you would direct that question to politicians
What the hell is he meaning
Is he asking the ultimate question
The meaning of life
Is he questioning God
The giver of life
The taker away
Who knows
WAS IT YOUR LIFE TO LOSE.

She ***** him
He’s ******* somebody else
They come together
Just different worlds apart

She stalks his dreams
He’s lost in her soul
Together apart
Apart together

She scratches her name deep inside him
He penetrates her mind
Mind blowing
Just different worlds apart

She bares all
He caresses deep inside
But not deep enough
Not right into her soul

She screams injustice
He pulls away
Naked and pleading
Just different worlds apart

She dresses for the last time
He walks away
She goes back to him
They come together.

What’s wrong, you look like thunder.

It’s those two birds I’m going out with, Tuesday and Thursday.

What’s the problem, get the days mixed up.

No, I call them Tuesday and Thursday, I take them out Friday and Saturday.

You do lead a strange life, so what’s the problem.

The problem is Tuesday, she wants to go out on Saturday.

Well, why don’t you take Tuesday out on Saturday afternoon, leaving you free to take
Thursday out on Saturday night.

My god, that’s genius, that’s what I’ll do.

# Monday morning

So how did your weekend go.

Aw man, what a disaster, took Tuesday to the bowling in the afternoon, totally forgot Friday worked there.

Wow there, who the hell is Friday.

She was casual.

So what happened.

She phoned Thursday that’s what happened.

Oh, sounds painful.

No, the painful part was when the wife turned up.

Oops, bet you were wondering what day it was, can I see the film.

Get you a copy later, now I’m forced to stay with Monday for awhile.

What did the wife say?

She wasn't my wife but Wednesday's
Wednesday is married to a woman?

Yeah she's a little freaky. So there I was with Tuesday, Wednesday's wife, Thursday on the way and Friday in my face about Thursday.

She said I was history.
Then she said she would give me one more chance.
Then she said I didn’t deserve a second chance.
Then just as I was about to speak.
She said, I mean, who the hell do you think you are.
I was just about to say.
She said, this is definitely your last warning.
I was silent for a few seconds.
Well what do you have to say for yourself.
This is a wrong number.
What.
You’re not speaking to the guy you’re dumping.
Well why the hell did you let me rabble on.
To be truthful, I sort of get dumped a lot by phone, I just didn’t recognise the number.
That’s because you’re all jerks.
Well why don’t I take you out tonight to get over the ****.
Get knotted, consider yourself and the **** dumped.
Got a feeling she’ll phone back later and apologize, and then take me up on my offer, and when she gets to know me better.
She’ll definitely dump me.

Your Haunting death
Like your life
Still leave them cold
They search for reasons
Answers that defy questions
Remember what you told me
Wrong body, wrong time
But not to worry
Get it right next time
So I tell them
Wrong body, wrong time
They can’t define
You were on such a high that night
We laughed until dawn
The final toast
As you lay upon
That haunting smile goodbye
Before you died
One more for the road
Keepsake to the good times
One glass left behind
See you next time my friend
New body, right time.

She watches, and the road drives on
He’s gone, yet the clock keeps ticking
Only in that moment, does she smile
He said it would pass, just like life
You’ve got to live it
No point dancing in the past
Not with the looks of an angel
He was full of ****, so was she
The grass was long then
With mountains that stole your innocence
Miles from the watching eyes
Where love lasted a whole day
Regrets were hid away
Seemed like yesterday
Now she’s alone with him
So respectable she almost cries
For a marriage full of lies
A pillar to all that died
The mountains stood there
Just for a moment
Looking down on innocence
She watches, and the road drives on
He's gone, yet the clock keeps ticking.

She watches, and the road drives on
He’s gone, yet the clock keeps ticking
Only in that moment, does she smile
He said it would pass, just like life
You’ve got to live it
No point dancing in the past
Not with the looks of an angel
He was full of ****, so was she
The grass was long then
With mountains that stole your innocence
Miles from the watching eyes
Where love lasted a whole day
Regrets were hid away
Seemed like yesterday
Now she’s alone with him
So respectable she almost cries
For a marriage full of lies
A pillar to all that died
The mountains stood there
Just for a moment
Looking down on innocence
She watches, and the road drives on
He's gone, yet the clock keeps ticking.

I hate the way you use me at the weekends.
Then **** me the rest of the week.