I pull back the first layer
carefully, making sure not to be harsh

I pull back further
until this layer comes off

one by one
until I am no longer naked
but clothed by it all

What is in need of nourishment?
What needs more cultivation ?
What needs more of my time ?
What opportunities are presented ?
What calls me ?
What makes my eyes light up ?
When does time become still ?

Soy de las flores
de ahí nunca me mudé

Let people be and smile on through the day
feed the core, feed the core, feed the core

let people be and enjoy the breeze
nourish your being , nourish your being, nourish your being

Let others be
and just be

Trust
can I trust you?

Again,
can I trust you ?

Can I trust you will treat me with respect?
Can I trust you?  

But really can I trust myself ?
...if I cannot trust you to treat me with respect ?

Trust, great leaps of courage on the road to trust
                                 ...
I see no other way to live deeply then to take great leaps of trust

Can you trust me ?
Can we trust each other ?

on this path that bends in so many directions great leaps of trust await

open hands with the intent to trust remain
gentle and willing to try

There is meaning in the way your eyelids swiftly carry your delicate lashes
meaning in how they part
to reveal the beams of a new day

There is meaning in your breathe
and in its’ rhythm
meaning in the way it allows you to take a hold of wind and transform it into life as you exhale

There is always meaning

Meaning in a smile
Meaning in the appreciation of a warm sweater
Meaning in the trees
and in their leaves that seem godly
and profoundly tied to you
just as you walk underneath them
the scenery becomes meaningful to me

May you be well today
an ocean of distance does not reduce
a wish to rumble

so enjoy the vastness of this day
and the small but memorizing happenings of daily existence

You deserve calm

a whisper of love
so quiet
so far
echos
through the entirety of me
(through eternity)

Sweet being your face has changed so many times
do recognize me
in disguise?

We are all gifted
in different ways we are made
as infinity plays and giggles
expressing its abundance in form

but it is so hard to remember when
the strictness of dogma
and judgement get in the way

art is powerful
but an act of kindness is just as profound


we are all gifted
all these little desires
make us just right
and prepare for what is meant for us
what feels so familiar it cannot leave us

It swirls
all this love
I ask it to please
just sit still
I cannot think
I cannot make up my mind
sit still love

I do not know
what to do with you
you feel endless
and I have yet to understand
why

I tried my best, and even more
but who can compete with time
or with silence

Everytime my mind gets crammed with perceptions and I cannot feel what really lies below it all
I must pause, breathe and realize “I do not know”
I do not know what is true and what is not  so I think I should stop thinking I do
because slowly assumption and stories
can obscure it all

I rake the leaves from the floor and gather them into bundles and make them into adornments

I see their beauty
and I want others to see it too

I do not care if someone watching
finds it odd
the majesty of life  can be found in a leaf, too
and in all the small things
in the tinniest of creatures, too

I am open to all life giving things I could not imagine. I am open to reimagining several aspects of life      
                 I am
                            And must be
  Open

Love is a beautiful gift, but if it doesn’t come with respect you can have it back.

Todavía llevo la esperanza del amanecer en mi costado
llevo la amplia gana de desacéreme completamente hasta revelar las delicadezas que aún que
me hacen parecer frágil
me dan vida y mi dan valor
para vivir con atrevimiento

Las largas horas son un regalo
al ver la luz del atardecer
escurrir como agua
sobre las manos del tiempo

I do not know what storm you’re facing brown eyes.All I know is a portion of my best wishes and my good vibes are always sent towards your direction. However, right now I must keep my own ship afloat. I must figure out how to steer in a way that yields love and respect as I make my way across the ocean.

Still the softest part of me waits for you
its too hazy and I am too confused

Today I empty the chest and release all this longing and all this sadness. They do not suit me well; I think I rather go back to joy and my single cup of tea. The turntable is a good enough companion for me when the evening comes and I want to sing along to Nick Drake or attempt to dance rumba by myself.

Today, I want nothing, and so I have everything I need.

I do not know your struggles
but may you surmount each of them

May you thrive and may you be joyful
for inherently we all deserve kindness, nurturing, respect and care; may you never be withheld any of these. May you never know the sadness that grows inside your chest when one of these is refused to you.

May you keep good company; may you have folks around that lift you and walk you to the doorway of your own being; ears that do not judge.
May you be compassionate and may you receive compassion.May you be strong enough to apologize when you haven’t treated someone else well; it is bound to happen –you’re  only human.

May you live and love to the fullest; may you be the highest version of yourself.

my head is pressed against the white cover spread over the front lawn

I laid my body right under the sun wanting to feel it set.
...
Drifting

        Nnnn.  Drifting
                              ...
It feels a little cooler each time the sun sinks  lower
and the wind howls just a little louder each time I open my eyes to see dimmer patches of sunlight

love is expansive and gives a wide open field of flowers
not a narrow alley

it is patient, and teaches patience
it allows time for thought and time to collect oneself without the pressure of hurrying

so as my thoughts linger upon yours
I respect that you cannot be rushed
your far stretching freedom is always yours
wide as the eye can see

so I give you time my little self
and this time this self-love will grow deeper

And the day comes and the sun sets
and still I harbor so much love for you
that it takes me by surprise
and I dissolve like dust in the memory of you

May the mind quiet
drift off
as the body does need sleep
and there is no need to hang  more weight
on a passing thought

You choose your path, no need for explanations, no need for apologies
there is no right or wrong way to live
as long as the soil nourishes then life will flourish

I awoke one more day and the scent of gratitude overtook my nostrils

how the hills of thought become papers
ripped as all my ideas and limitations
tear away

I deserve the  beauty that inherently follows through on all that is living
giving it purpose
The dream of truly authentically loving everything I am
becomes tangible when I look into the mirror and I am not embarrassed or afraid of what calls to me ...I am eager to receive the abundant beauty, my rightful inherence.

Longing is the language of spirit; so I welcome longings and I inch towards them

and as this voice that guides me towards the healing becomes louder
– my being becomes clearer

I found myself wishing
I could give endlessly

how I deeply desired at one moment to put aside all my needs and try to have “no needs”

I kept reprimanding myself for wanting care, someone’s time or something  as simple as a letter. So fragile was my thick wall of “I have no needs” that all it took was a friend kindly saying to me “it is okay to have needs. You should have needs” to tear down that wall.

Everyone needs love and that is undeniable. No amount of “I have no needs” can keep you afloat.

I carry it
as a satchel
its’ strap hung across my chest

sometimes when I run
through the loops of time
and the great expanse of memory
it sways and thumps
against my hip

still I bring it with me
always choosing to carry its’ luminance
untouchable
by anyone else or anything else

inside the canvas of my bag
lies hope and it’s brilliant light
from birth
till the day of return
I venture with it by my side
choosing to keep it on

I keep my hope close like a pillow
that I can rest my head upon

I saw a little bee caught in a can

It must of gotten stuck after feeding off of the remanence of a soft drink

“little bee, oh little bee we all get stuck sometimes”

I ran into the kitchen grabbed a knife and used it to poke a hole through the aluminum and then used a pair of scissors to cut open the can

“Little bee, we all deserve to be free”

Once I opened the soda can it did not fly out;  instead the little bee stayed, and I let it be.

I came back an hour later curious as could be and the little be had buzzed away at its own time with its own wings and at its desired speed.

There is a loving stream of light that embraces me. Never too far and never too weak in presence –always guiding me sheltering me with warmth. Years smile at this bravery to live and this inescapable joy to be authentic, authentic for the sake of my own happiness.

My greatest humanely wish is that I never lose my ability to accept discomfort that I hold it close so that I can make way for the new. I want my mind to continue to be renewed and to continue to be opened so discomfort is the song my heart sings to woo change into world

Wildfires–

We are engulfed in fire
the soil dry and it becomes
drier
each year more homes
scorch
each year, the hottest year
recorded

                                ...

We are engulfed not just in California
as the flames rise higher but as a nation
surrounded by the indifference to facts

                               ...

Wildfires raging, images flashing from your screen
–wildfires in the mind igniting –
over the land and soon
over your old way of life

you burn too
slowly, inevitably
for the world is unmistakably one

one large fire of change made up of what
Galeano saw were small
little fires

ablaze creating fertile ground for new thought

The objects of memory
are soft,
little fingers of a child
discovering the world for the first time
the texture of moss archived on their index and thumb

The objects of memory
are gentle,
kind words like  “muy bien” &“you did it”
as salt water drips down your cheeks and you exit the calm Pacific for the first time to be embraced after with a long soft towel

The objects of memory
are subjective
sometimes lost in the suppressed ocean of “too painful” & too lonesome hiding under a bed

The objects of memory
can be cold,
like the touch of a coffin you couldn’t  see over back when you were only a few feet tall or the feeling you got years after
as you stared from above at your grandparent or the touch of their hand as they lay there


The objects of memory
can be transcendent
like four hours of mediation finally
breaking away the clouds
As if it were mighty Poseidon
just to find Buddha under the bodi tree behind the Stratus cloud


the soothing waves of ocean
during your 100th brand new encounter
lingers in the fervent gleam of today
as you collect new objects of memory

May the voice that rises from your depths guide to what you need

May nothing frighten or threaten your path towards the vastness of your soul; it is only you who can hear it call.

Al poner el oído al viento
puedo escuchar su ritmo
descalza sobre el asfalto
sonreío
porque no necesitó ojos
para bailar en sincronía a todo

There is so much beauty around
that I crack open all the time
let its’ light loveliness fill me
For if not in this lifetime when
when will the flowers sing to me ?

When the words are heavy and the muck is thicker thread on, take a breathe, and then take another.

there is always a way

I let go of the many thoughts that walk into my realm of mind,
today is still here and so am I
I grow joyful just to feel the wind pick up
and this calmness surge from the steady breeze as presence cloaks me and sways me like the leaves

the flower blooms towards the sun
the coral reef becomes the home of the little fish
the path the water threads as it makes its way to the sea becomes the drinking source for all creatures below
all things show their love and appreciation
all things give, in one way or another  
when they ask me about you
I have to pause

how do you show care and appreciation ?
what’s your way?
I am eager to know the ways you bend
and soften
the ways you freely give
curious about your hair in the dark
or your hand holding mine in the light
patient and curious to know you
and the way you love

You are lovely
Have I ever told you?
Or have it kept it tucked within the two corners of my smile when the thought of you arises

May the steady rain trickle it’s song  over your umbrella and accompany you
sweetly while it pours over the streets you know.

Let gentleness be my way
let it lead me
direct me when my eyes must close

pen over the blankness
hands drafting
their portion intuitively reimagined

i hang in there
i choose to trust you
i choose to give this a chance
i choose to hang in there
i chose to keep finding
the renewed strength
because choosing you is worth it to me
in choosing you
i also choose me

May the wind aid you
like it has aided the blue patches of sky that were revealed
as the clouds floated off

May the breeze not just cool you
but also clear away & soothe your inner climate  
and lower the chances of internal precipitation