Does
forever
sound
like us?

Forgive me
for it
all
my heart
cannot

Wombs for rent
Inquire within

I would not buy this
Even if I had the money
Which I don’t
I would not buy you
Or you
Or you
I have no doubt
You would probably all sell yourselves
For the right amount of money
Even then
I would not buy you
I simply
Don’t have the stomach
For it

The best of you
bleeds effortlessly
into the worst of me
so that I wake up
refreshed
relaxed
resultant
resilient
and free.

I love you
like no one before
I love you
like I was free

Freedom never comes free
It is paid for in tears
And blood
Bending on one knee
By the likes of you
And me

Thanks

After this long time
we’ve seen it all
round of applause
for us
just can’t help thinking
shame
we didn’t see it the same way

Know this
If you know nothing else
In my life
You shined a light

You are the best friends
A girl
Could ever ask for
Glamorous
Caring
Present
Delightful
I am
Blessed
Forever
And honestly
Grateful
But
What a shame
you
Will never
Ever
Really
Know
Me

this strange
seldom seen
full moon
fills our room
with more light
that we could ever ignite
although god knows
we’ve tried.

Don’t play games
with my heart
I am really not strong
it will break me apart

Little bits of you
drip into my brain
at 3 am
most nights
causing me to wake
and gasp
struggle for breath
but not
in a good way.

Such a deep pond, this
but nobody pushed me in
I dived with joy
I thought it would be
such cooling water
endorsing my joy
I never thought
never realised
I would end up
gasping for air.

I will block out
the two hundred poems in my head
and write this one
for you
instead.

I’m pulling up outside
our bags are packed
kids in the  back
I’m reeving the engine
lets go
don’t look back

I am alive
in this company
my laugh
louder than most
my smile
if you take a second look
nice but
just a shadow of
a ghost

I have a gift
a superpower if you will
I can cry
without tears.

I was asleep
and then you shook me
awoken me
into life

I miss the girl I used to be
she got lost somehow
in between the crying
and the trying
to be the girl
I desperately thought
I needed to be

I am totally in love
with the girl I set out to be
if you see her
please send her back
posthaste
I miss her.

to me
you are perfect
or as close as I have
ever been to
perfection
and I
am a perfectionist
so
what does that mean?

I see you
and every painful step
you take into
your unknown world
I have walked those steps
just a beat before you
just a train ride between us
does the pain ever dim?
Yes
and as a bonus
you’re thin!

I want to
give you
the world
on a plate
strangely
the world says
No !

Do not let anyone
ever
tell you
you are not okay
you talk too loud
you have too much to say
you live in a cloud
maybe you do
what’s the taboo?
but do not let anyone
ever
wherever
ever
tell you what to do
or you have too much to say
except
sometimes
maybe me!

It seems too easy to say
I love you
I want to say I love
the total uniqueness of you
the difference of you
the boldness of you
the look of you
the laugh out loud of you
the kindness of you
the difference from me of you
the sameness of me of you
the I will do it anyway of you
the **** the world of you
the arrogance of you
the humility of you
the soft spaces of you
the late  night tears of you
it seems too easy to say I love you
the perfect perfectness of you
but hey
I want to say it anyway!

The tiny bits of youth
you dripped fed
into me
on warm Manhattan nights
with laughter and wine
hit home
I am better now
actually
I know more than you now
Try me?

Give me your heart
and I will put it with mine
away forever
secure in a safe
the combination known
only
to us

The glam squad
at a push,
can make me look sixteen
inside
I am
honestly
not that
keen

I am drowning in your
laughter
saturated by your
love
amazed by your joie de vivre
enchanted by your
dance
impressed by your last
stance
weakened
by your glance

Look at me
I am made of
glass
you may see yourself
but it will pass

Stay where you are
and still believe you’re right
I’ll just pour us
another glass of life

My tears fall
like tiny glass memories
they do not  crash
upon the floor
a bit like me
they flow and ebb
and gently
dissolve into
another
not so good night

You ask me to dance
and I accept
but as we move across the floor
I see the ghosts
of who we once were
dancing
just above us
ghosts of us
circling
the who we once were
when we used to dance
boldly
carelessly
effortlessly
when we glided
and glided
heads held back
laughing out loud
for all the world to see
without ghosts
gliding
reminding
of who we used to be

I saw you
I know you didn’t feel it
but I did
I saw you
just a glimpse
of you
it was late
I could be wrong
but honestly
I saw you
for the first time
in such a long time
I think I saw you
but it was late

Let it go
Maybe then
everyone else will too
The pain
The injustice
The wrong
The right
The high ground
The low ground
Let it go
Look.somewhere else
To find your grow
Look somewhere else
find your glow

I used to question God
and he didn’t answer
now I question you
and you don’t answer
does that mean
I am the one who found God
on earth ?

God
if they only knew
they would be queueing up
just
to have a conversation
with you

I see you
even now
after these long years
I know you
your tears
always
more visible
than your fears

I think
I am so completely lost now
without your face
Your embrace
too far away
your smile distant
your words
nonexistent
your presence
forever
Omniscient

This is not enough
I am lost
furious
incomplete
I am bored
with myself
and you
and this house
and this life
I am off
Yes
I am off
watch me go
watch me
and  know this
if you know nothing
else
I am going
nowhere
absolutely nowhere
without you!

I know you couldn’t leave me
if you tried
You know I couldn’t leave you
if I tried
and so the golden ink
of trying
burns sacred scars
upon our souls.

I may not be in love
but let me tell you
how that feels

Good

This love is good enough for me
this love will more than see me through
I’m pulling up the shutters
taking off my shoes
this love
your love
totally
hands down
this love
is
way
way
good enough
for me.

I am throwing a rope here
Grab it
If you can
Not sure if
I am strong enough to hold us
But God knows I will try
Who cares
We will go down together
Or rise
Phoenix like
Into tomorrow
And one more glorious day

I am sitting here
wondering
If it is worth the effort
To go to the lovely neighbour’s  barbecue
And also why I spell the word barbecue
With a C and not a Q
probably
I think
most likely
It’s probably
just for
You

Permission
granted
To forget all about me
As you were
Soldier
Stand down.

Your flowers arrived
before you
you always like
to guarantee
a smile.

you said you
didn’t mean it
I guess
that makes it
all okay.