All I can do
as the red *** sun rises
is smile
at the night we just had
even  given
it’s guises

You live on hallowed ground
he said
I know
I said
wouldn’t you like to live there
too

I think our love
a little bit saggy now
no dancing beneath the stars
no hanging in late night bars
more sunrise
than sunset
but still
I’m hanging with
you!

Let’s choose
happy

I don’t know what happy
is anymore
I can’t feel it in my
core
life is now about evening up
the score
which means
happy
can’t live inside me
anymore

The children are all
gone now
just me and you
left
to haunt these halls

I only stopped speaking
when you choose
not to hear.

I hear you
I am not listening
yet somehow
within the silence
I hear you.
still,

I hear you
I heard you
yesterday
and all the other days
when
you had nothing
good to say
what makes you
think
I can’t hear you
today
when you
yet again
have nothing good to
say.?

I ask you to hear me
you say you do
and I believe you try
but you listen
with light ears
so the weight of my words
don’t keep you awake
all night.

This heart is not yours
To break
This girl is not yours
To forsake

I tell them everyday
Be careful who you give your heart to
But they give it anyway
I can’t complain
I did the same

For gods sake
just leave it
I said
I no longer care
I said
too much work
I said
walk away
I said  
I don’t need this
I  said
bore off
I said
I am better than this
I said
just leave
I said
and **** me
he did!

KUDOS!!!

Merry Christmas guys!
Thank you for the reads in 21
See you in 22!

Oh hello
Sorry
Who are you looking for?
No trouble
Do come in
Who are you looking for ?
Oh yes...... I know who you mean
No.........sorry
She left here years ago
nobody really knows
whatever
Became of her .....

even when
I wasn’t in love
with you
when I couldn’t
catch the feeling
even when
the two of us
were lost in
a New York evening
even when
we were drowning in
noise and confusion
even when
we saw life
in different colours
even when
you were big
and I was small
even when
I was big
and you were small
even when I was here
and you were gone
even when you were there
and I was gone
even then
even then
I knew we’d get here
arrival times may differ
check with your carrier
but I knew we’d get here
even then
somehow
I knew we’d get here
and against the odds
*******
here we are
have we got there
are we here?

We have been here
so many times before
in the name of sanity
and more
please let’s not choose to go
here
anymore

I believe
at some point
you’ve  got to decide
Whether to shout out loud
Or run home and hide

There is a small town girl
about me
that I lost
but still admire
when the lights go down
in New York City
is this really me
left out to dry
and for hire?

This might just be the end
hold your breath
we’re sinking fast
hold your breath
we’re going down
hold your breath
and pray

Hold your breath
We’re going down fast
and deep
hold your breath
and me
we are sinking so fast
it’s not possible
we could
ever last

Let’s take the long way home
For sure it’s darker
And a lot unknown
But who knows what we might discover
Under cover
Of the darkness
On the long way home

when you came
to take me home I
went willingly
took your hand
easily
then you made
too many left turns
led me down
too many
blind alleys
left me more lost
that I was before
you came and said
let me take you
home.
I am safe
and so are you
you are home.

Can I take you home?
Absolutely !
If you can help me find one
I can call my own.

Oddly I breathe
a little better
smile a little better
wake up a little better
behave a lot less better
am myself a little better
when I am at home
doing better better things
with you

No one wants  to stand out
or stand alone
no one.is brave enough
so we all just faff about
and then
wander home
except
my son

I heard you came home. last night
or the night before
our town is a small town
news is never quite up to date
still
I heard you came home last night
and  I wonder
what the **** does that
feel like?

Said he would build me
an honest home
and in fairness
he did

I see you
and you look like home
I turn away
but home is always where
the heart is.

we are both
far  enough away
and clever enough
to know
it will take
the two of us
a monumental climb
a torrential will
and a beat
to see
what we’re leaving
behind
see the light
mull it over
chew the cud
decide
if we ever want
to
be
home again.

Let me be
one hundred percent honest
with you
I  have never
ever been
one hundred percent  honest
with anyone
including you
and that
my friend
is
one hundred percent true
honest
totally and completely
true
although I have never been
one hundred percent honest
or true
with anyone
including you.

In all honesty
so far
in my life
I have at least
spoken
two billion words
that were
untrue
how about you?

Everything
I have ever said
Believe me
in all truth
I honestly
have
over said
to everyone else

Don’t look to me for honesty
For honestly
Not sure if I can give it
Don’t look to me for truth
For truthfully
Not sure if I can do it
Don’t look to me for trust
For trust me
Not sure if I can find it
Don’t look to me for faith
For faithfully
Never seem to find it
Don’t look to me for love
For lovingly I’ll decline it
For everything else
I’m your woman !

My words are much too big
no one will receive them
so they bounce around the room
I certainly can’t retrieve them
so we sit and smile
eat cake
have tea
Ignore them
But they are out there now
*******
my big words
bouncing around
like mad things
Lovely
honest yet
Ignored

You have been here so long
just on the right side of me
that sometimes
I forget
when shiny things
shine down on  me
that
you are still here
as always
just on the right side of me.

how will I remember
what love feels like
when days are too long
devoid of song
and sound
how will I remember
what touch feels like
when rooms are dark
the light too stark
how will I remember
what real feels like
when words are few
and I don’t have you

How come
you whisper
and I hear
a roar ?

Happy ending presented itself
at my door last night
I recoiled at the sight
I would much prefer
to howl into the night
Isn’t that right?

when everybody left
you stayed
I like that
in a human

There is
A strange rope around
My soul
Please don’t pull
I will break
into tiny pieces
Of human glass
Fragile
Easily shattered
Please don’t pull
I will
Break
I am fragile
I am lost

There are more than one hundred ways
to get out of this
and more than a hundred  reasons to stay
I ponder both questions
each
and
every
single
day

You left last night
in a hurry
but you left tiny bits of yourself
scattered
in a bit of a flurry
not sure what to do with them now
seems wrong to sweep them away
still
you were the one who left last night
in a bit of a hurry

it may hurt to be me
but it hurts more
to be me
with you.

You are
the constant
I struggle
to be

If
I could be a
superpower
I would probably
or maybe
definitely
at least sometimes
if not most times
most likely
I would probably
I guess
I would choose
you
If I could be a
superpower
Yeah
I think I would
probably
maybe
choose
You

You said there was nothing
You wouldn’t do
I said there was nowhere
I wouldn’t go
So between us there was nothing
We wouldn’t chase
Let’s get on with it then
Blatantly
Between you and me
There is nothing
We can’t face.

Hush now
Let’s be still
let the dark navy blue majestic sky
quieten  your cry