let me give you my
words
I have ten million
and three
as do you
it’s just you don’t feel the need
to share your pain
with me.

She knows all there is to know
and just a little bit more
and yet
she goes to bed
tries to sleep
then realises
she knows
to much awful
to sleep

she cannot be
who she wants to be
so she spends her day
being who
she is expected
to be.

I should forget
but I haven’t
I should remember
but I don’t
I should see
but I’m blind
I should hear
but I’m deaf
I should go
but I stay
I should know
but I don’t.

Everything you wanted
I think
I wanted too
Everything you shouted
I think
I shouted too

I heard you called
I didn’t hear
someone told me
next day
too late
next time
if you need me
shout.

Let me be the youngest
and say
somehow
we went astray
but there is no rulebook
that says
we have to stay
this  way.

You will always be
the missing piece
in our weird
little
three piece family
jigsaw

when someone says
I love you
take it
embrace it
silence the questions
in your heart
when someone says
I love you
silence
the young child
within
you have lost.

I live within realms
of silence
I so want to relinquish
yet cannot

You will always be
the best  piece
in our three piece
jigsaw family

I don’t miss you being here
telling me
what to do
I miss you being here
showing me
how to be

I paint words
until the colours
make no sense
You paint pictures
that make the world
make sense .

Everyone loves you
your light shines on everyone
except
me

I don’t
remember a time
I was me
without you

and then
yet again
as usual
it was
just us

Well now
There is no need to
Say
These words
Out loud
We have said them all
Before
no need to say
These words are
just for you
We’ve done all that ten score
A hundred times or more
I will write them now
instead
Because I love the
Honest
Simple
Sublime
Sound of them
Inside my head
I love you
I miss you
And truth be known
What I feel now
I  will
Feel
Today
Tomorrow
And intensely
Forever more

when the party was over
and the balloons hit the floor
when yet again
there was just me and you
I was glad as always
that you were just you
and I was just me
annoying as that can be
to the masses
in all honesty
Who the **** else would
we  ever want to be?

I am screaming at the the sky
but I still love
the dark blue inky ness
of its call

The most beautiful sand ever
beneath my feet
the most beautiful people
eyes could ever meet
India
her sons
her daughters
laid out
today
sacrosanct
and
sacrificed
for slaughter

word on the street
is you’ve been looking
for my heart
truth be told
it’s not that hard to find
in fact
I wear it on my sleeve
most Monday afternoons
Tuesday evenings
yes, those too.

Tomorrow
we talk about
all the time
today slips
through our fingers
undefined,

I am not sure
I ever smiled
at you
I think
I just grimaced
and you caught
the pain

I caught your smile
mid air
it was going in no direction
It’s safe in my back pocket
available for collection

I know you think this smile
is just for you
it might well be
but I give out 264 and more smiles each day
multiple by a week
a year
a life
I know you think this smile
is just for you
it might well be
maybe
you just might be right
wouldn’t that be nice.

your smile came back to
me today
unexpectedly
in the shower
still can’t believe
you are a liar .

give me back my smile
I am miserable without it
you took it with you
by mistake
at least
that’s what you said

When did the
snow
turn into pain?

The stillness owns me
now
I sold myself easy
succumbed
without  persuasion
surrendered
without conversion

in a lifetime
of forgotten words
somehow
I remember  yours,

If I was someone else
I would love you
Endlessly
And perfectly
Forever
Because you deserve
Nothing less
Than
Someone else

Let your love
carelessly
flow over me
let your words
make no difference to me
let your smile
make a fool out of me
let someone else
anyone but you
let someone else
anyone but you
let someone else
dear God
let someone else
take me home
tonight

sometimes
love stumbles
and sometimes
I stumble after it.

sometimes
I get lost
inside
the deepest deep
deep parts  of me
and I have to say
it’s not the worst place
to be!

I tried
you lied
you tried
I lied
between
the trying
and
the lying
somehow
somewhere
in between
the lying and
the trying
somehow
somewhere
love
started
dying.

You are
I am
some
where
in between
it
became
no mans
land,

When did you grow
into you
I must have been asleep
when did you get so brave
I must have been asleep
when did you start to behave
I must have.been asleep
when did you question the answer
I must have been asleep
when did you answer the question
I must have been asleep
when did you grow
into you

I am
a very expensive example
of who
not to fall in love with
you’re welcome!

I used to wake up
slightly alive
now I wake up
go straight
to your cot
and silence both our cries

I know it’s late
and you need to go
can you leave a little of you
here
so I still feel you
near

if I could
be anyone
in the world
I could be
I would wake up
tomorrow
and be you

I am a mother
You are a son
Isn’t it about time
Our life begun?

Every single moment I spend with
You
is like
a really bright moon
and
a brilliant bright sun
coupled together
and crushed
into one.

Ambition fades
with age
yet, I  know
if I have one shred left
inside me
it would be
to be
a little bit more
like you.

He is grown now
handsome and proud
I am old now
bewildered and cowed
but…

There is no love
like your son’s  love
it is there
to rise you high
and catch you
on the low
your little boy’s arms
are now strong enough
to hold you
and heal you
What joy!

You are a heartbeat away
from being free
your mind already at the border
go for it
do not look back
I am here , on the sideline
willing you on!

The words that fall from my mouth
should only be for me
yet they rain upon your head
like an untuned symphony
and somehow
you turn my words
into a tune

When did we become a
love song
that no one sings
anymore