Ambition fades
with age
yet, I  know
if I have one shred left
inside me
it would be
to be
a little bit more
like you.

I used to wake up
slightly alive
now I wake up
go straight
to your cot
and silence both our cries

I am
a very expensive example
of who
not to fall in love with
you’re welcome!

There is no love
like your son’s  love
it is there
to rise you high
and catch you
on the low
your little boy’s arms
are now strong enough
to hold you
and heal you
What joy!

He is grown now
handsome and proud
I am old now
bewildered and cowed
but…

You are a heartbeat away
from being free
your mind already at the border
go for it
do not look back
I am here , on the sideline
willing you on!

if I could
be anyone
in the world
I could be
I would wake up
tomorrow
and be you

I am a mother
You are a son
Isn’t it about time
Our life begun?

I know it’s late
and you need to go
can you leave a little of you
here
so I still feel you
near

When did you grow
into you
I must have been asleep
when did you get so brave
I must have been asleep
when did you start to behave
I must have.been asleep
when did you question the answer
I must have been asleep
when did you answer the question
I must have been asleep
when did you grow
into you

Every single moment I spend with
You
is like
a really bright moon
and
a brilliant bright sun
coupled together
and crushed
into one.

When did we become a
love song
that no one sings
anymore

The words that fall from my mouth
should only be for me
yet they rain upon your head
like an untuned symphony
and somehow
you turn my words
into a tune

I’m sorry
that
I love
out loud
Are you?

There are times
when life invades
our thoughts
Assuages
our best
intentions
falls away
from who we want to be
There  are times
When life
Shouts louder
Than
Who we set out
originally
desperately
set
out
to
try
to
Be
Sorry

Do not drip feed me
your love
drown me in emotion
and over the top words
scare me with honesty
and silence

we speak the same language
yet can’t understand
a single word
we are trying to say
to each other.

Do not whisper
Speak your truth out loud
Do not be silenced
By the crowd

There is nothing much left now
feelings fall
like autumn leaves
crushed by heavy boots
and soon forgotten in
winters debris
there is nothing much left now
but a spring clean
of everything we ever
strived to be

I was always a bit square
Desperately trying to fit into
A very round circle
I am still pushing
Seems like forever
Little square me
pushing
Exhausted
Into this very big
Too round
circle of life.

You have left a stain
on my soul
and my home
like blood
it seeps endlessly
effortlessly
freely
into my bones

I will stand up
Scared
Yet standing
Naked
Exposed
Reaching
Yet reclining
I will stand
I will hold you
If you falter
I will stand up
Scared
Yet standing
Will you?

Dark stars fly above me tonight
the light ones
have all taken flight
they soar
to happy places
embracing the hearts delight
I long to reach for them
again
and feel their warm sun
upon my skin
their magic
igniting
from within

Big bits yesterday
fall into my
today
encroach  on
my tomorrow
making it impossible
for me
to stay.

you are my steady
**** knows
I needed
something steady

This should be beautiful
and real
instead
it’s difficult
and steel

I will walk every step forward
with you
and more
if you will just walk one step
back
with me
every
now
and
then

Baby steps, she said
My sweet dying Mother
Upon her unmade bed
Baby steps, she said
instead
I take huge wide dangerous
Leaps
Into the world
ahead

I had to listen
a little harder
to hear you
but still
you never raised
your voice

let it be
let it lie
if you will
let’s be still
yes, I will
I will be still
a bit  against
my will
but I will
nevertheless be still
at least
for now

sometimes
I regress
to a little sister
desperately
seeking your love
still

Yep,
I ****** up
I lost my head
you can either
blame me
hate me or
forgive me
leave me
or still love me
instead.

Leave your words here
scattered across the floor
its late
you’re tired
I will pick them up tomorrow
look at them
in the cold light of day
discard and throw away
the ones that might make you stay.

Stop
bleeding all over me
Stop
crying tears I can’t see
Stop
asking me
to belong to you

Whoever you think I am
I am not
Whatever you think I say
I say not
Whenever you think you know
You do not
Whoever
Whatever
Whenever
Stop
turn the other side
Stop
Search
Listen

This is enough
For me
Now
Let’s stop
And breath
This is enough
For you
now
I know it
To be true
So stop
Honesty
Let’s stop
Now
And breath

You wake me
when I sleep
stop me
before I leap

The winds are gale force
as they have been
before
but this time
they are heading right
to our door
I am ready
I think
I can handle the ride
know where to hide
do you?

how strange
between us now
that silence
shouts

I have been such
a stranger here
deep inside
the  inside of me
did not know
what to say
did not know
who to pay
I have been
such a stranger
here

Strangers
in our house
which one of us
will speak out?

Thank you
for
getting the point of me
and still loving me
when
I struggle
to get the point
of us

stay exactly
as you stand
today
for me
you are perfect
and I know stuff!

I can write two hundred poems
and more
each one fine
I can write two hundred poems and more
All in the quest
Of writing just one
not just fine
but to you
and me
totally sublime
Perfectly in time
And without
A perfectly
predictable
******
rhyme

The sun sinks
and I do my best not to sink with it
at least it’s done it’s job
lit the world for another day
I have just sat here
and complained all day

This sunrise
Is the best sunrise
Ever
And probably
the only sunrise
We will ever
see together

Eventually
the lies disappear
like smoke upon touch
the truth appears
without warning
that it could ever mean so much
eventually
morning dawns
from a night filled with tears
eventually
without the fanfare
life starts again
to everyone’s surprise
we awake
again
a little embarrassed
again
to a glorious
and  unexpected
sunrise.

I  am not sure
and I have travelled
a lot
met every version
of us
and me
and you
and more
and still
I am not sure