I’ve got a ride to
somewhere
probably end up being
nowhere
still I’ve got a ride to
somewhere
could talk the driver into
one more passenger?

Sundays and
sun downs
sad days
and being arounds
always makes me feel
like better not
to be around
right not.

Excuse me
Hello
I think this is yours
and I think
you dropped it
very conveniently
the very  first time
we said
Hello

this river runs deep
whatever you say
I almost drowned
whatever you say
this river runs deep
you walked away
whatever you say
this river runs deep
you have long legs
I’d say
this river runs deep
I almost drowned
no matter what
or why
or when
this river runs deep
I’d say
this river runs deep
well done
those long legs
helped you walk
away
no matter what I say
but still
this river runs deep
I say
but maybe
I am totally wrong!

If this car would just start
you know
I would be off
careering
full throttle
down the highway
chasing freedom
miles away
from the  road stops
of my heart

I remember the room
where we first met
I remember the room
hard to forget
I remember the room
your smile matched mine
I remember the room
perfectly in line
I remember the room
the feeling of fine
I remember the room
your heart leaving mine
I remember the room
the sharp decline
I remember the room
slow
sad
somehow
sublime .

There is nothing
yet everything
wrapped up tightly
about to explode
lives will implode
right here
right now
bang in the centre
of this room

You just won’t let go
he said
as he tightened his grip
on the rope
he placed
around my neck

The world is made up
Of tiny tiny moments
That didn’t exist
until we rose
to resist

I have been searching this house all night
just can’t find anything worthwhile
a couple of memories
an odd laugh
a lot of pain in the kitchen
a lost birthday cake behind the sofa
a summer party shoved under a bed
a new start
rotting and forgotten
hidden randomly
beneath a a pile of broken hearts

I am nothing
If I am not
A quarter square
of this
round family

I heard what they said
I guess you heard it too
**** ‘em I thought
most of it is true
on the other hand
if only they knew!

Thank you
I will take your compliment
and run with it
just as far as
As I can go !

I’ve made it this far
nothing or no one
not even you
will drag me back
to  what I am running
from.

there is no blame
laid here
you were a void
I stepped into
I could have sidestepped
let’s be honest
I choose not to
there is no blame
laid here
just corpses of dreams
stacked up
stagnant
sadly unseen.

The world fell apart today
I chose to stay together
It seemed safer
That way

What are you talking about
It doesn’t matter
You said
What are you talking about
It’s all that matters
I said
What are you both shouting about
Our child said.

it’s just another
salty day
that fell into today
and told me
repeatedly
on a loop
that
honestly
none of this
is honestly
okay.

I know what you mean
I know what you are saying
I am not crazy
I am not insane
I just
honestly
don’t think
the same.

He was fully grown
I was half way there
He had the world
in the palm of his hand
I was still playing with
sand

Have you ever been to Santorini
on a boat
when you were young
and blond
and gorgeous
and free?
Have you ever been to Santorini
when life lay before you
like a joke
a challenge
a high
Have you ever been to Santorini
when the sun is so high
you feel you could die
If you’ve never been to Santorini
you don’t know me
but  trust me
just give it a try!

It’s just another Saturday morn
fading into Sunday
slipping into Monday
cruising into Tuesday
delving into Wednesday
diving into Thursday
dying into Friday
crying into Saturday
It’s just another Saturday mom

I am saving.
the last
for best.

save me
and I
will save
you too
my arms
are strong
but forgive me
your arms
at least to me
right here
right now
seem
a little  bit
not strong.

There is nothing much worth
saving here
you say
except perhaps our child
I say

after all this time
and all these years
after ten million words
and all these tears
suddenly
I realise
there is nothing
left to say.

What  I wanted to say
what I meant to say
in all honesty was nothing like
the two thousand words that
spewed from my mouth
what I wanted to say
was that
in the end
I think we’ll be okay

Did you ever feel
you ever lost
every real word
you ever wanted.to say
to every unreal person
in your life
and at the end of the day
when their eyes are glazing over
you still
believe
you have so much more left
to say

Oddly
as we sit here
at the dying of another day
I remember little
except
the words we didn’t
say

Look at these scars
and still say you don’t care
look at these scars
openly
honestly
No, you won’t find them
there
not on my face
or my arm
or in my embrace
look at these scars
and still say
you don’t care

There is no one here
but me
what a scary place
to be

I am scared
There it is
There’s the truth
This is me
Laid  bare
I am scared
Why aren’t you?

I know your scars
And you know mine
We trace them in the dark
and celebrate
each mark

What is that
he said
as his fingertips
brushed
lightly
above my heart
scar tissue
I said
I am lucky I am
not dead

always wondered
what it would be like
to be in love with someone
just as cool as you
never quite had the nerve
until now
how come it’s not all
us schoolgirls
dreamt
it would be

I have packed up
the best  bits of you and me
to keep us safe
woke up this. morning
evened the score.

Nothing bores
me more
than random poems
desperately
trying to even
the score!

I’ve searched this house
ten times or more
every cupboard
every  door
I just can’t find us
anywhere.

Do you see?
Don’t stare
Just glance
Do you see?
A better version of you and me
And humanity
Do you see
Don’t stare
Stand back
Wish
And glance
Breath in
Let’s take this chance

I see you
Really
When it feels like no one
ever does
and no one
ever will
I see you
And only you
For what it’s worth
At this late hour
I see you
And I always will

I see you
maybe
for the first time
and the seeing
hurts my eyes.

I see you
although
I desperately
look
the other way

I love the bits of  you
you can’t see
because
I suspect
you shield
the world
from seeing them too

There are no right words to say here
So I will just use mine instead
And hope they echo
Something someone once said
That made sense
for a minute
deep inside your head

I am your
shadow
I will always
misbehave.

There are no shadows
quite as dark as yours
they dull my brightest day
they cast grey upon my stay
they follow me
everywhere
scare me with their power
every single
every each
every painfully
tortured
hour

Shall we just lay it all down here
I can wrap it up in a bow
So it looks good
You know that’s my gig
That’s the easy bit
The difficult bit
Twofold
Shall we just lay it all down here
And if we do
What colour bow?

This is a hand
I never wanted to play
these are the  words
I never wanted to say
you are the human
I never
ever  sought to shame
and yet…….

What a shame
We never
Got to dance!

my heart is drenched
in flame
my heart
has gone
way  beyond
what you  so rightly call
shame.