I am so bored with being
a pedestrian
tomorrow
I am going to jump on your bike
or hyjack your
car

There is no smile
as wide as my smile
when you and
I
yet again
manage to navigate
another
heartfelt
difficult
painful
mile

I am not your
beautiful
anymore

You asked for truth
I tried.

I am free falling into winter
summer echos
in my head
I cannot cling on
to sunny days
dusty evenings
romantic haze
I cannot prevent the chill
the hail crashing over the hill
I am free falling into winter
crying ice tears
against my will.

There is a man in my life
says he knows who I am
even knows my name
calls me by it everyday
how strange
I don’t know his name
although
I might have
maybe even would have
probably could have
if………

If I am in your way
a gentle nudge
will dislodge
my love

If you could only meet me
somewhere
tonight.

If it was just left to all of us
I think we could find a way
To live
And die
And pray
Each in our own way
I’m sure that  would be okay
With all of us
If only
We could find a way
To just let it be
Alone
With all of us.

If I had one wish
It would be that someone
someday
could really see me
feel me
touch me
hear me
If I had one wish
It would be that someone
someday
Could really know me
love me
hold me
just once
for once
If I had one wish
It would be that...........

If I could just
for one minute
truly be myself
and pour me into the world
undiluted
I would poison
everyone I touched
I would ****
the pure
and obscure
I would flood the world
with truth
and pictures
and memories
of their youth

I give her to you
my love has died
give her everything
I would have
if only I had tried

Sleep easy, he said
if only
but never again with you
I thought.

It is the eve of reckoning
I fear
Speak now
Speak out
Speak loud
or quietly
suffocate in your brothers
sighs

Imagine
what we could have been
if we had only
tried

I will loosen my hold on you
no questions
no answers
if you will too
imagine
we could both fly free
imagine
the people we could
be

Imagine my surprise
when I looked in your eyes
and realised
exactly who you are

Imagine my surprise
after all the glamour
and the flowers

Sometimes
love
disguises itself
like someone
you used to trust
but in between
you grew up

In between
Everywhere
I have been
And in between
Everything I have seen
In between
The desperate
late night calls
I want you to know
That
In between
It all
Honestly
I know it doesn’t show but
Honestly
In between it all
I am
honestly
doing
Okay

Was there a warning bell I missed?
A buzzer
A loud shrill
To alert me
An alarm bell
to tell me
Of impending pain?
Incoming missile
Lie low
Danger afoot
Go slow
Was there a warning bell
I missed
Don’t trust
Go slow
Be alert
Lie low

My being is slipping
through your fingers now
like sand
the me I used to be
falling at your feet
tiny graduals of me
irritatingly present
transparent
incomplete

When you find yourself
in the inkwell of life
navy dark blue
drowning the light
be glad
you are  but a few
drowning in the liquid
that brings words
to life

I am laughing out loud
this much is true
Please know
I am dying inside

Write from the heart
Otherwise
let the words go
unsaid
instead

Blue, green, navy, red
lets find our own colour
instead.

Nobody asked
so nobody told
instead
we threw our heads back
and laughed
out loud
me too

When you said
you were sorry
I thought
you meant it

I will send flowers
or a plane
if that’s what it takes
just come home
for another minute

You already live your life
out loud
don’t stop
it will save you

When we were young
we said let it come
if it rained
we had an umbrella
if it snowed
we had a plough
If it iced
we had a ski
if it stormed
we had shelter
if it darkened
we had light
if it was fire
we had water
if it was old
we were young
if it was too much
we were one.

Thank you
for seeing right through
who I try to be
reaching into
the core of me
laughing at who
I think I should be
and loving
the girl
I ended up
to be.

I know
everyday
you watch over me
and my ridiculous
struggle
to simply just
Be.

Goodbye
is a hug
I don’t want
to give

I
wish
I
was
a
little
bit
more
like
you

Your beauty
is your honesty
it lies deep  beneath those
sapphire
blue eyes
that never blink
unless  someone
questions why
or perhaps
a random fly!

You teach me things
I didn’t know
I needed to know

You wash over me
with your wisdom
you silence me
with your voice
you know me
with your love

I didn’t know
that I needed to know
so much
to be your Mum

love me
if you will but
that includes all the
jagged cutting  edges
of me
not easy
I know but
they have been a part of me
for so long now
I don’t know how
to be me
without them.

I could say Goodbye to you
Without pain
One time and ten score
If you could promise me
Our next hello
Will  even up the score

I don’t fit you anymore
truth be told
you don’t fit me either
we are weird jigsaw pieces
at the edge of the puzzle
the ones you can’t quite work  out
where to put
for ages
then suddenly
out of the blue
you see it
that’s where they go
the puzzle complete!!

You have all the best lines
but no melody.

I love you
my love is a little bit off centre
that much I know is true
but still
I love you
a little bit off centre
It’s the best I can do.

This is so much better
Than I expected
and you
God,
so much more than
I deserve
even for me

After all these years
I honestly couldn’t bear
to celebrate
my wedding anniversary
with anybody else
but you!

You are everyone
and everything
I ever wanted to be
it would always be a reach
for someone like me
but just living with you
elevates me

I live
with the person
I aspire to
be

I knew you were okay
when you picked up
the worst bits of me
put them in your pocket
and never
gave them back to  me

You know I love you
probably always will
but just not
today
Is that okay?