I am trapped
By my secrets
Silenced by my guilt
Disappointed by my lies
Deceived by your eyes

What do you want
he said
standing boldly in front of me
I’m not sure
I said
but for sure
just a  little bit more
than this

I love you almost
and I know you almost love me too
how many more years
do we have  to make it through
to make us
almost true.

Every wound has a culprit
Every scar knows exactly who they are
You are mine
You hurt
You scarred
Deeply
Inside my heart
Then you moved
As I bled
And bled
Into the dead grey night
Eventually
I made it home
Staggering
Slowly
And lowly
Battle weary
And exhausted
Into
my newly
very well made
Empty
And now ridiculously
Ambitious
Bed.

You have all the best lines
but no melody.

Take my toxic words
and turn them
into wine.

You say you never want to leave me
well
let me tell  you
that was about two hours before
you left

and just when there was
nothing left to say
you spoke

I have read
Yeats and Kavanagh
Oscar too
How can they write beautiful
while I flounder here
bereft of a phrase
or two

Can I take you home?
Absolutely !
If you can help me find one
I can call my own.

Hush now
Let’s be still
let the dark navy blue majestic sky
quieten  your cry

Remember you said
you would rather be dead
than to live a life without cause
God, how honourable then
I thought you were my saviour
and I drank your presence
like the sweetest wine
I clung to your every word
like a long lost disciple
All I ever wanted to be was
the perfect daughter
perfect friend
perfect girl
but you left
without teaching me
how to be just like you

Don’t fall asleep on me
I know you are tired
as am I
But please
don’t fall asleep on me
not now
If you do
I fear
we might never
ever
ever
wake up again.

Beautiful boy
with tears in his eyes
too salty
to forget
Beautiful boy
with hurt in his soul
too honest
too real.

love
and then a little bit more
love
and then a whole lot more
love
otherwise
what’s the point?

I am not looking
Nor seeking
I am simply drowning in blame
I am not asking
Nor basking
I am simply absolving
Your pain

I used to be you
giddy and careless
brave and cold
outspoken and bold
hold the line
it’s worth the unfold

and then
and most
unexpectedly
I was suddenly
plunged
deep into tomorrow.

I hear you
thanks
I hear loudly
thanks
I just choose
not to dance
your dance
while the army of
injustice
make their first
honestly heard
advance

I wish you had arrived
when I still believed in love
I wish I had met you
when there was still
space in my heart
I wish I had heard your song
when I still believed in melody

You just won’t let go
he said
as he tightened his grip
on the rope
he placed
around my neck

I buried my father
although no one claimed the ****
I buried my father
with my brother, my sister
my mother dressed to ****
I buried my father
we haven’t bothered
with the will

I remember the room
where we first met
I remember the room
hard to forget
I remember the room
your smile matched mine
I remember the room
perfectly in line
I remember the room
the feeling of fine
I remember the room
your heart leaving mine
I remember the room
the sharp decline
I remember the room
slow
sad
somehow
sublime .

The words
I love you
flow from me
gushing from the heart of me
freely
Yet
sadly
catching
just the side of you

I am exhausted
I know you are too
let’s lie down
beside each other now
catch a breath
or two

I guess this time
I’m really leaving
I guess this time
you can see
my heart is  really
bleeding

My eyes can’t quite see you
my ears struggle to hear you
my arms can’t quite reach you
my lips cannot speak to you
my heart can’t quite love you
my sister never quite liked you.

not sure when it happened
maybe last week
Tuesday or Wednesday
sometime midweek

Words and phrases swirling
Frantically
Inside my head
Given to me so freely
I want to return the gift
So they can dance to another tune
In another time
In another room
I want to set them free
So they can fly
And I can watch them
soaring way up high.

Happy now?
you ask
yeah, a little bit
at last
no regrets
about two million and twenty three
still, even so
it’s been a blast

nothing creates
nothing
yet somehow
I found you

Life kicked in
around nine o ‘clock
last night
don’t know why I am
surprised
my father told me
it would happen
someday
still
it took me unawares
it took me
totally
by surprise

Tell me this
Do you think you can take
All that I am
When I’m awake

These might be the moments
we might try
to remember
the days we fight hard
not to fade
the smiles we are are glad
that we gave
freely
the moments that remind us
we were once
too young
too giddy
too brave.

There are not enough words
in the dictionary
that could make sense of
how much
you mean
to me
trust me
I have tried.

The postman delivered
your letter
It’s just two hundred years
too late
and two hundred words
out of date

I would like to give you tomorrow
fresh and fragrant
wrapped up in a bow
I would like to give you yesterday
rosy and pink
without any foe
I would like to give you today
smiling and new
I would like to give you forever
If only I knew

I know how much you love the sun
I think you would follow it
anywhere
perhaps you did
and now
your scorched skin
is forever
Tender to my touch

The thing with these days
is that too many people
have too much to say
and they say it
Endlessly
Exhaustingly
Inexcusably
repeatedly
every
******
frigging
single
day.

Everything faded
info shades of blue and grey
like the song
somehow we went wrong
everything faded
we forgot
the people who had
made us.
us

I will take this love
and I will run with it
as far as it will take me
as high as it will make me
I will take this love
and I will run with it
and I will never look back
for fear
reality will overtake me

I throw my words at you
like hailstones
hoping they hurt
you receive them
like God
invisible
silent
barely
a nod

It was one of those parties
where everyone knew everything
poetry is easy he said
from his over privileged lips
give me a word
and I will give you a poem
really I thought
from the corner of the room
wish I could do that
someone shouted love
love is a sham
he said
who the **** gives a ****
I do I though
from the corner of the room

There is nothing but
the outside of me
left
this face
this skin
the inside of me
has slowly begun to
wither
from within.

I hear you
I am not listening
yet somehow
within the silence
I hear you.
still,

Let us be quiet now
for a minute
Soften our minds
and our souls
Let us be blind now
for a minute
cherish our hearts
and our foes

tears are just water
and we all need water
to live.

Perhaps
my soul
is too old
to be sold?

You said
leave me where you found me
and in the leaving
you will find
a better you.

You talk about love like it’s real
like folk can be happy
together
you talk about love
like it’s okay to feel
happy
you talk about love
like it’s real
like things can work out
okay
like no one hates the day
you talk about love
like it’s real
like it could happen anyway
any day
anytime
anywhere
how bizarre
you talk about love like
it’s real.