I am closed
after being
open all hours
24/7
for twenty years
and more
I am closed
now
Permanently

I will stand up
Scared
Yet standing
Naked
Exposed
Reaching
Yet reclining
I will stand
I will hold you
If you falter
I will stand up
Scared
Yet standing
Will you?

You said
leave me where you found me
and in the leaving
you will find
a better you.

My words can never be sweet
because
they weep
of intended deceit

And then
there was nothing
and in that nothing
I realised
we could be everything

I envy the smile
that sits so easily
upon your face

I have too many words
running riot  inside my head
they spill out
unintentionally
at party’s
dinners
and soirées
offend the great
seal my fate.

I know nothing
about nothing
but I know
I probably
love you more than
you could ever
love me back
and I am
more than  
all right
with that

I am trapped
By my secrets
Silenced by my guilt
Disappointed by my lies
Deceived by your eyes

I would like to give you tomorrow
fresh and fragrant
wrapped up in a bow
I would like to give you yesterday
rosy and pink
without any foe
I would like to give you today
smiling and new
I would like to give you forever
If only I knew

How were you to know
this world
would so harsh
on you

I caught your tear
mid fall
before it exploded
and soaked
our fortified wall .

You already live your life
out loud
don’t stop
it will save you

It doesn’t take a lot
just a universal will
that we will not allow
history
to repeat
itself
at least
not
on our watch
not a one amongst us wants
war
why has one man
got so much
power

this strange
seldom seen
full moon
fills our room
with more light
that we could ever ignite
although god knows
we’ve tried.

my words weep
tears
my tears weep
words

Tell me this
Do you think you can take
All that I am
When I’m awake

Write from the heart
Otherwise
let the words go
unsaid
instead

I only stopped speaking
when you choose
not to hear.

I trust my words
and I trust me
if only I knew someone
who  felt the same way
too

I want absolutely nothing more
Than to live a simpler life
dogs and ducks and daisies
And daffodils  would be nice
I want absolutely nothing more
than to live a simpler life
But the effort and the time
Would cancel the sublime!

The glam squad
at a push,
can make me look sixteen
inside
I am
honestly
not that
keen

I waited until then
like you asked
floundering
haplessly
hopefully
half assed
before realising
there is no point
waiting
hopeful
wholesome
holy.

Beautiful boy
with tears in his eyes
too salty
to forget
Beautiful boy
with hurt in his soul
too honest
too real.

Hold my hand
before we get too old

You say you never want to leave me
well
let me tell  you
that was about two hours before
you left

heal me
you said
I hear you
I said
save me
you said
I will try
I said
but actually
I haven’t got
the
friggin’ energy
I said.

In-between  the time
I think the thought
and feel the thought
and write the thought
everything has
changed

You just won’t let go
he said
as he tightened his grip
on the rope
he placed
around my neck

When you left
you were right

When did those little boy arms
who depended so much on me
when did those little boy arms
become strong enough
to hold me

Love is amazing but
love is waking up the next day
and not feeling quite
so sure  about yourself.

I throw my words at you
like hailstones
hoping they hurt
you receive them
like God
invisible
silent
barely
a nod

It was never what
you said
it was just you and me
instead
too much confusion
inside my head

Leave your words here
scattered across the floor
its late
you’re tired
I will pick them up tomorrow
look at them
in the cold light of day
discard and throw away
the ones that might make you stay.

You desperately search my eyes for answers
I don’t have
I’m just not that girl
but I will offer you this
it will honestly
seriously
inevitably
one way or the other
turn out all right
or at least
the way it’s supposed
to turn out
for you
one way or the other
Believe.

Sisters
Always
Balance

The tiny bits of youth
you dripped fed
into me
on warm Manhattan nights
with laughter and wine
hit home
I am better now
actually
I know more than you now
Try me?

Leave your feelings here
your emotions
and your deepest thoughts
I will mind them
sacred here within my heart
locked within a lovers vault
they will live here
forever
without fault

Words and phrases swirling
Frantically
Inside my head
Given to me so freely
I want to return the gift
So they can dance to another tune
In another time
In another room
I want to set them free
So they can fly
And I can watch them
soaring way up high.

Dream big
if you still believe you can dream
otherwise
there is no point
and I have failed you.

sometimes
I regress
to a little sister
desperately
seeking your love
still

My suitcase is packed
my belongings are safe
just need to zip myself in there
and make my escape

I heard what they said
I guess you heard it too
**** ‘em I thought
most of it is true
on the other hand
if only they knew!

Here’s the thing
I never missed you
Not a one of you
I hardly noticed you were gone
until
suddenly
yesterday

and then out of nowhere
there was you.

I am not saying that you lie
or calling you a liar
but I think
truth
might like a quick word
with you.

after all this time
and all these years
after ten million words
and all these tears
suddenly
I realise
there is nothing
left to say.

Let the slow hand of
tomorrow
catch you in the palm of her
hand
because I can’t
anymore

come and live with me
in my world
for a bit
I promise you
it will only change the bits
of you
that no longer fit