The words
I love you
flow from me
gushing from the heart of me
freely
Yet
sadly
catching
just the side of you

Let it lie
I know
I hear you
trust me
or not
what do I know
but just
for now
please
maybe
for a minute
let it go
let it lie
and fly.

Do not try to
dry my tears
they have been weeping
for a hundred years
from my eyes
my mothers eyes
and the eyes of others
long gone
and disappeared

You talk about love like it’s real
like folk can be happy
together
you talk about love
like it’s okay to feel
happy
you talk about love
like it’s real
like things can work out
okay
like no one hates the day
you talk about love
like it’s real
like it could happen anyway
any day
anytime
anywhere
how bizarre
you talk about love like
it’s real.

You grew up
in a haze of yellow sun
champagne glasses
and endless fun
and then you
painfully
excruciatingly
became
You,

I am trapped
By my secrets
Silenced by my guilt
Disappointed by my lies
Deceived by your eyes

don’t listen
to my words
I lie
better than anyone
you have ever tried to love
ever
before.

I have read
Yeats and Kavanagh
Oscar too
How can they write beautiful
while I flounder here
bereft of a phrase
or two

I guess this time
I’m really leaving
I guess this time
you can see
my heart is  really
bleeding

Do not lie too far away
from me
because lies
like ties
can strangle you

Remember you said
you would rather be dead
than to live a life without cause
God, how honourable then
I thought you were my saviour
and I drank your presence
like the sweetest wine
I clung to your every word
like a long lost disciple
All I ever wanted to be was
the perfect daughter
perfect friend
perfect girl
but you left
without teaching me
how to be just like you

and just when there was
nothing left to say
you spoke

Thank you for listening
to the ten billion words I cough up
each day
and only hearing
the ones
I mean
and still
staying around
and loving me
all the same

Don’t fall asleep on me
I know you are tired
as am I
But please
don’t fall asleep on me
not now
If you do
I fear
we might never
ever
ever
wake up again.

Happy now?
you ask
yeah, a little bit
at last
no regrets
about two million and twenty three
still, even so
it’s been a blast

You have all the best lines
but no melody.

Beautiful boy
with tears in his eyes
too salty
to forget
Beautiful boy
with hurt in his soul
too honest
too real.

this river runs deep
whatever you say
I almost drowned
whatever you say
this river runs deep
you walked away
whatever you say
this river runs deep
you have long legs
I’d say
this river runs deep
I almost drowned
no matter what
or why
or when
this river runs deep
I’d say
this river runs deep
well done
those long legs
helped you walk
away
no matter what I say
but still
this river runs deep
I say
but maybe
I am totally wrong!

The thing with these days
is that too many people
have too much to say
and they say it
Endlessly
Exhaustingly
Inexcusably
repeatedly
every
******
frigging
single
day.

Tell me this
Do you think you can take
All that I am
When I’m awake

I wish you had arrived
when I still believed in love
I wish I had met you
when there was still
space in my heart
I wish I had heard your song
when I still believed in melody

I am exhausted
I know you are too
let’s lie down
beside each other now
catch a breath
or two

and then
and most
unexpectedly
I was suddenly
plunged
deep into tomorrow.

It’s difficult to find
anything in this world
to love
I’ve managed to find two
first one is me
second one is
you.

and then
we laughed out loud
albeit a bit too loud
we just
didn’t know what else to do

Take my toxic words
and turn them
into wine.

What do you want
he said
standing boldly in front of me
I’m not sure
I said
but for sure
just a  little bit more
than this

I will take this love
and I will run with it
as far as it will take me
as high as it will make me
I will take this love
and I will run with it
and I will never look back
for fear
reality will overtake me

Perhaps
my soul
is too old
to be sold?

I will block out
the two hundred poems in my head
and write this one
for you
instead.

Hush now
Let’s be still
let the dark navy blue majestic sky
quieten  your cry

I am not looking
Nor seeking
I am simply drowning in blame
I am not asking
Nor basking
I am simply absolving
Your pain

love
and then a little bit more
love
and then a whole lot more
love
otherwise
what’s the point?

I hear you
I am not listening
yet somehow
within the silence
I hear you.
still,

Can I take you home?
Absolutely !
If you can help me find one
I can call my own.

I remember the room
where we first met
I remember the room
hard to forget
I remember the room
your smile matched mine
I remember the room
perfectly in line
I remember the room
the feeling of fine
I remember the room
your heart leaving mine
I remember the room
the sharp decline
I remember the room
slow
sad
somehow
sublime .

not sure when it happened
maybe last week
Tuesday or Wednesday
sometime midweek

I know how much you love the sun
I think you would follow it
anywhere
perhaps you did
and now
your scorched skin
is forever
Tender to my touch

You say you never want to leave me
well
let me tell  you
that was about two hours before
you left

Life kicked in
around nine o ‘clock
last night
don’t know why I am
surprised
my father told me
it would happen
someday
still
it took me unawares
it took me
totally
by surprise

You just won’t let go
he said
as he tightened his grip
on the rope
he placed
around my neck

My eyes can’t quite see you
my ears struggle to hear you
my arms can’t quite reach you
my lips cannot speak to you
my heart can’t quite love you
my sister never quite liked you.

I caught you yesterday
when you didn’t realise you were falling
you walked just a step too far
and didn’t hear me calling
but no worries
I caught you
anyway.

I buried my father
although no one claimed the ****
I buried my father
with my brother, my sister
my mother dressed to ****
I buried my father
we haven’t bothered
with the will

nothing creates
nothing
yet somehow
I found you

I hear you
thanks
I hear loudly
thanks
I just choose
not to dance
your dance
while the army of
injustice
make their first
honestly heard
advance

It was one of those parties
where everyone knew everything
poetry is easy he said
from his over privileged lips
give me a word
and I will give you a poem
really I thought
from the corner of the room
wish I could do that
someone shouted love
love is a sham
he said
who the **** gives a ****
I do I though
from the corner of the room

Let us be quiet now
for a minute
Soften our minds
and our souls
Let us be blind now
for a minute
cherish our hearts
and our foes

I used to be you
giddy and careless
brave and cold
outspoken and bold
hold the line
it’s worth the unfold

Everything faded
info shades of blue and grey
like the song
somehow we went wrong
everything faded
we forgot
the people who had
made us.
us