let me give you my
words
I have ten million
and three
as do you
it’s just you don’t feel the need
to share your pain
with me.

leave now
I know you need to
but I can’t go with you
although every part of me
wants to.

if this is it
if this is the end
do me a favour
give me a clue
throw me a line
let’s pretend
all along
we knew
today
was the day
we planned
the end.

You offer
Tiny sprinkles of yourself
the bits you think I will like
and I do
I just wonder about the dusty
dark damp bits
that I could love
even more

I dis
appoint you
almost as much as
you dis
appear me
most days

Where does your sadness come from
he said
I’m not sure
either from yesterday or
next door
Must be next door
he said
no one lives in yesterday
anymore

I’m pulling up outside
our bags are packed
kids in the  back
I’m reeving the engine
lets go
don’t look back

God
if there was ever a time
it’s now.

Your words flow
effortlessly
from your perfectly
manicured mouth
your audience
guaranteed
your confidence
unbelieved
at least
by me

I have packed up
the best  bits of you and me
to keep us safe
woke up this. morning
evened the score.

I can do almost anything
but
even for you
I cannot deliver the
morning

I know it’s late
and you need to go
can you leave a little of you
here
so I still feel you
near

Here are
my broken thoughts
and overthinking mind
late at night
desperately trying
to make a sentence
that makes sense
to myself
and maybe
someone
else
help me
if you can !

when my heart bled words
I couldn’t voice
somehow you found them
in my garden or somewhere near
wherever I had dropped them
picked them up
and made sense of them
returned them to me
late night
in a song
I  had never heard before
until your voice made
perfect sense of me.

There is no one here
but me
what a scary place
to be

I am so not sure
that I have  found
the love  I have waited for
have longed for
or that I have found the love
I have always been
bound for
no matter the why and wherefore
of whatever I have
ever
ever
longed for.

I will give you two words
and two minutes
to tell me
the world.

I have no
regrets
about who we were
just one or two
about
who we are

I got home
still full of your smile
its been a while
that’s true
but now at least
I know
we can walk
another
mile
together

Do not whisper
Speak your truth out loud
Do not be silenced
By the crowd

Tell me
what to do
with the
bits
you
you left
behind

Every step I take
leads me one step
closer
away
from
you

my heart
is buried deep
in yesterday

I love all the bits of you
that shattered
and fell across the floor

I know I hold the brush
but I cannot paint a stroke of paint
upon the canvas of out life
our colours are unclear
our future blurred in fear
and fuchsia
nobody can live in fuchsia
no matter how hard they try.

If you could only meet me
somewhere
tonight.

If I could choose
a dazzlingly bright everyday sun
I would choose you
my dazzlingly bright everyday
April son

I want absolutely nothing more
Than to live a simpler life
dogs and ducks and daisies
And daffodils  would be nice
I want absolutely nothing more
than to live a simpler life
But the effort and the time
Would cancel the sublime!

I was born
yesterday
but I do my best
to live
today

Now , is the time
he said
take my hand
Now , is the time
I said
I  cannot be lead.

I am glad
you are the one
who ended up
knowing me
the best

Smile
and let’s pretend
that it’s all been
worth while.

You took on the big world
while you were such a  small girl
you are still here
the big world lost
You won!

Big bits yesterday
fall into my
today
encroach  on
my tomorrow
making it impossible
for me
to stay.

And then
the words all got muddled
meshed into a life
deeply troubled
we became unsettled
slightly unfettled
like untamed horses
running wild
manes to the wind
galloping
uncontrollably
terribly and unknowingly
into gale force winds

Leave it
you said
without realising
I had already left.

Remember when you leave
the ones  you love
kiss their cheek
laugh a wave
say see you soon
remember
just remember
there is no guarantee.

I trust my words
and I trust me
if only I knew someone
who  felt the same way

Let me give you the bits of
the conversation
we should not be having
so we can decide
together
which bits are worth
saving.

I love you
my love is a little bit off centre
that much I know is true
but still
I love you
a little bit off centre
It’s the best I can do.

Words fail me
then I see
they fail you too

I have been such
a stranger here
deep inside
the  inside of me
did not know
what to say
did not know
who to pay
I have been
such a stranger
here

You cannot hate me
For what I believe
Just because my believe
Is different to your believe
You cannot break me
For the words I speak
Just because my speak
Is different to your speak
You cannot judge me
For the way I live
Just because my live
Is different to your live
You cannot hate me
When you can’t even see me
You cannot
You cannot
Because in the end
You cannot fail to see
that  I am just like you
Doing what I can
Passing through

Write from the heart
Otherwise
let the words go
unsaid
instead

I used to think
that when life got old
it would somehow get vague
yet I see more clearly now
than when I was sixteen

heal me
you said
I hear you
I said
save me
you said
I will try
I said
but actually
I haven’t got
the
friggin’ energy
I said.

You have not mistaken me
for someone you used to know
You have mistaken me
for someone  I used to be

There is a hole
right there
in the middle bit of me
like a Russian doll
a life within a life
barely breathing
don’t come too close
you could fall right in
deeply
into the empty of me
Others have.
Save yourself
Walk away..,,..

my words weep
tears
my tears weep
words