You asked for truth
I tried.

There is a slight cry in your voice
when you say
that you love me
is that about
love
or doubt
or just not being sure enough
of what we are
all about

I loved who you were
when we first met
these days
you’re just a bad
impression
of me

I know I throw words at you
like stones
they reign heavy upon your head
they are formed in my heavily bruised brain
fuelled by my pain
dissolved by your love

This is a love
that needs
no words

reveal your thoughts
yes, all of them
let them tumble upon the floor
naked and raw
the little bits of you
no one has ever
ever ever
seen before

I will give you two words
and two minutes
to tell me
the world.

God
if there was ever a time
it’s now.

Everything now depends
on your very next answer
may seem like pressure to you
trust me
my insides are on fire

My love
is such a burden for you to carry
it is filled with fury
childhood grief
undried tears , years of no belief
my love
is filled with never speaking
learning to whisper
never shout
a bundle of miscommunication
my love is full of  loud words
never reaching their mark
like wounded birds
my love always too stark
never quite smooth enough
my love is such a burden for you to carry
upon your  open honest heart

Smile
and let’s pretend
that it’s all been
worth while.

I love you
Inside and out
have no doubt
I love you
rights  and wrongs
late night songs
and all
I love you
short nights and long
I have loved you
all along

You are a heartbeat away
from being free
your mind already at the border
go for it
do not look back
I am here , on the sideline
willing you on!

I am so not sure
that I have  found
the love  I have waited for
have longed for
or that I have found the love
I have always been
bound for
no matter the why and wherefore
of whatever I have
ever
ever
longed for.

I dis
appoint you
almost as much as
you dis
appear me
most days

Leave it
you said
without realising
I had already left.

If this car would just start
you know
I would be off
careering
full throttle
down the highway
chasing freedom
miles away
from the  road stops
of my heart

leave now
I know you need to
but I can’t go with you
although every part of me
wants to.

You took on the big world
while you were such a  small girl
you are still here
the big world lost
You won!

There are
two of us here
and one of us
is seriously missing
the point.

Remember when you leave
the ones  you love
kiss their cheek
laugh a wave
say see you soon
remember
just remember
there is no guarantee.

You have not mistaken me
for someone you used to know
You have mistaken me
for someone  I used to be

I can do almost anything
but
even for you
I cannot deliver the
morning

I know it’s late
and you need to go
can you leave a little of you
here
so I still feel you
near

Every moment matters
know this
if you know nothing else
it matters because it’s you
even now
reading this
it matters because
it’s you and me
that makes it new

Now , is the time
he said
take my hand
Now , is the time
I said
I  cannot be lead.

Autumn
is closing in now
have you seen the leaves ?
the sun is lower now
do you feel relief?

I love all the bits of you
that shattered
and fell across the floor

Will you take any of your bad back
or shall I just bury it
deep inside my head
and forget.

when you left
you left no trace
as if
you were never here
at all

Words fail me
then I see
they fail you too

I have packed up
the best  bits of you and me
to keep us safe
woke up this. morning
evened the score.

If you could only meet me
somewhere
tonight.

has there ever been a better day
than this
has there ever been a better place
than this
has there ever been better people
than this
has there ever been a better feeling
that this
probably , I guess.
I just haven’t been there yet.

I wish I meant less
to you
it would silence
the slamming of the door.

Love the outside
of those you meet
it is the only route
to the inside
and a love complete

There is a hole
right there
in the middle bit of me
like a Russian doll
a life within a life
barely breathing
don’t come too close
you could fall right in
deeply
into the empty of me
Others have.
Save yourself
Walk away..,,..

Where does your sadness come from
he said
I’m not sure
either from yesterday or
next door
Must be next door
he said
no one lives in yesterday
anymore

You are all grown now
I can see
You know a million more things than me
Give me a minute
to say goodbye
you will always be
two feet taller than me

I have many many
friends
and a few of them
I suspect
are real.

I know my tears
and my sorrow
drips and drips and drips
like torture upon your brain
know this
it drips on my brain too

Big bits yesterday
fall into my
today
encroach  on
my tomorrow
making it impossible
for me
to stay.

I see your love
It stands starkly before me
I can’t reach your love
It hides hidden behind me.

You offer
Tiny sprinkles of yourself
the bits you think I will like
and I do
I just wonder about the dusty
dark damp bits
that I could love
even more

There is no smile
as wide as my smile
when you and
I
yet again
manage to navigate
another
heartfelt
difficult
painful
mile

What do people do
when they don’t have
you?

When you find yourself
in the inkwell of life
navy dark blue
drowning the light
be glad
you are  but a few
drowning in the liquid
that brings words
to life

Let me give you the bits of
the conversation
we should not be having
so we can decide
together
which bits are worth
saving.

I fled
It’s true
the ground beneath me
was giving way
I couldn’t find a ledge
to help me stay