You do know
the best I can give you
is a bad reputation

I never won anything
in my life
no sport
no quiz
no battle
late at night
I never won anything
in my life
until
both of you
little ones
grew up
and turned out
to be
alright!

The first little humans
who taught me that  I could
love
anyone
anywhere
anytime
anyhow
either way
whatever way
forever stay
it was you
all five of
you
so
Thank you

I live
with the person
I aspire to
be

Unwritten
Unread
Unsaid

I am saving.
the last
for best.

I will forget my words for tonight
the heavy in my heart
for at least one night
I will dance with you
barefoot
although it feels like broken glass
still
for at least one night
I will dance with you
tonight

This is probably
The best that I can be
yes, this is probably
it for me
I would like to offer more
and more
and more
even up the score
but in all honestly
this is probably
The best that that I can be

The stillness owns me
now
I sold myself easy
succumbed
without  persuasion
surrendered
without conversion

You have been here so long
just on the right side of me
that sometimes
I forget
when shiny things
shine down on  me
that
you are still here
as always
just on the right side of me.

I could shake your hand
but I won’t
I could take your hand
but I can’t
I could walk away
so
tonight
I think
I actually ******* will.

call me a fool
if I have said too much
I have been called more
from the ones I love
for thinking this much

Everything
is exactly the same
as it has as always been
except
for the blame

somebody
pour  me a drink
pour me a life
pour me a lie
somebody
tell me
it’s okay to cry.

This
my little one
is just life
showing its teeth
I can’t help you
that would be
defeat
this my little one
you must face all alone
at least
until the next time
you get home

I am not
you
and you are are
not me
no matter how much
or how hard
or how high
or how low
or how out loud
we endeavour to be.

There is probably
not much
I wouldn’t do
except
perhaps
say goodbye
to you

He was fully grown
I was half way there
He had the world
in the palm of his hand
I was still playing with
sand

No one wants  to stand out
or stand alone
no one.is brave enough
so we all just faff about
and then
wander home
except
my son

There is a deep steady uncertainty upon us now
not  a one of us knows how
to soothe it with words
instead we answer the battle cry

Woke up this morning
and couldn’t find myself
Looked in the mirror
Nobody there
Searched high and low
No sign of anyone
Anywhere
Dialed 911
They didn’t care
Just hung around
Alone
All day
With nobody there

Clarity is everything
When you can see clearly
When you can’t
It is simply a word
Tumbling around on someone else’s
Tongue

I need a moment
to collect my thoughts
breath in
collect my thoughts
I certainly don’t want to speak
out of sorts
okay, I’m there
I am calm
so here is what I have
to say
let me breath in
and calmly
and zen like
almost Buddhism  like
say to you
could you just do me a favour
and
**** the *******!

it was late
it was a good time
just as I was leaving
guess what I found
someone who looked
just like you
staring out
from the bottom
of my bottle
well ….
that ain’t right.

inky sunsets
and a sun so high
girls that fly
and a  tense goodbye
unfulfilled promises
dreams let down
waves on the shore
souls that feel sore
pain in your heart
a struggle to part
I know the words
that make a poem
go high
just can’t write them
tonight
it would probably make
me cry.

Stay
exactly as you are
Stay
right where you are
Stay true
Stay blue
You’re doing okay
Stay strong
Stay wrong
Stay true
to who you are
Stay you
Stay exactly where you are

your smile came back to
me today
unexpectedly
in the shower
still can’t believe
you are a liar .

I am a long way away
from your pain
I know that
I can’t share it
I know that
I am such a long  way away
from your pain
I know that
yet somehow
I feel it anyway.

Everything you wanted
I think
I wanted too
Everything you shouted
I think
I shouted too

You are way
too small
Too tiny
too insignificant
to have anything at all to say
You can barely form a word at all
Mama
Dada
Play
What crazy first  words
you
first
say

There is an unbreakable chain
between your heart
and mine
sometimes it strains
beneath the pain
then shows us out loud
the meaning
and power
the glory
of owning
the world  renowned
always sought after
unbreakable chain

When there is nothing else left
I suspect
I will see you
Exhausted but still breathing
Trudging wearily
Over the precipice
To find us again
Know this
I will be here
Still breathing too

I am not easy to
love
this much I know
I have let go of
love
this much I know
I have laughed at
love
this much I know
I have cried for
love
this much I know
I have screamed for
love
this much I know
I would die for
love
this much I know
I have loved for
love
this much I know
I have missed out on
love
this much I know
I  have known true
love
this much I know

love me
if you will but
that includes all the
jagged cutting  edges
of me
not easy
I know but
they have been a part of me
for so long now
I don’t know how
to be me
without them.

Do not fear
do not rise
I will not linger
beyond sunrise
my words are spent
our  life unkempt
my love for you
religious
and
redempt

I’m stuck in a corner in Paris
Desperately dialling  home
to  someone who might
answer
at  this late hour,
caller unknown
I’m desperately dialling
I’m desperately dying
I’m stuck in a corner in Paris
totally alone
desperately clinging to life on my
own

You are without doubt
The best person
I could never
live without

and then
the music stopped
and so did we
who knew?
certainly, not me

Today
Will never happen again
So drink it in deep
Tomorrow
Will bring more
and less
and if we are lucky
be today
all over again

when everybody left
you stayed
I like that
in a human

when everyone left
I found myself alone
not for the first time
but nevertheless
alone

Your words have a beauty
A cadence
A joy
A realness
A sorrow
A sadness
A joy
Can I drink tequila
In Mexico
Instead?

There are so many words
inside me
dormant
To light a match
might ignite
and burn
the whole world
down
tonight

I am free falling into winter
summer echos
in my head
I cannot cling on
to sunny days
dusty evenings
romantic haze
I cannot prevent the chill
the hail crashing over the hill
I am free falling into winter
crying ice tears
against my will.

I miss you
god, here  it is.
now, at last
it’s been said
out loud
no words
no rhymes
can describe
how much I miss you
or
who I am
without you
or
the fact
that
I miss you
here it is
out loud
at last
I miss you
now it’s said.

we flit around
like  butterflies
feelings
like circles of smoke
disappear upon touch
emotions
like breath on a freezing morning
visible but unwelcome
we flit around
from table to table
words
like confetti at a wedding
abundant but never heard.

I am thankful
you are
who you are
are you ?

I want to
give you
the world
on a plate
strangely
the world says
No !