If i could scream
out loud
like i scream
inside
Maybe some random
passerby
might not dismiss
the noise
as a weird animal
cry

Here’s what I will do
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you
I’ll raise the the stakes by two
stack the odds
in favour of you
and still pretend
I didn’t hear you
Tell me who the **** else
would do that for you?

This
my little one
is just life
showing its teeth
I can’t help you
that would be
defeat
this my little one
you must face all alone
at least
until the next time
you get home

to be near you
sometimes
scares me

there is no blame
laid here
you were a void
I stepped into
I could have sidestepped
let’s be honest
I choose not to
there is no blame
laid here
just corpses of dreams
stacked up
stagnant
sadly unseen.

It is quiet now
The day has left
Shadows appear
As if by request
I am quiet now
My love has left
Ghosts appear
As if by bequest

save me
and I
will save
you too
my arms
are strong
but forgive me
your arms
at least to me
right here
right now
seem
a little  bit
not strong.

Somewhere way above who I set out to be
unintentionally
I became me
No one I set out to be
or honestly am proud to be
genuinely stuck with me
wake up everyday with me
tried more than once to lose me
annoyingly
still wake up with me
constantly critical of me
randomly amused by me
desperately abused by me
always trying
unsuccessfully
to eventually
get the point
of me.

Sometimes I do wonder
Who you are
Where
You are
Imagine if we could just
meet
for a beat
I think our flesh
would refresh
Our
minds
And leave our
many doubts
Behind

I could spend all night
and deep into tomorrow
listening to your song
You are a melody
awaiting a tune
hang on!

There is nothing bad
between us now  
all the bad has
been spilled from us
upon this  floor
gathered up
and flown away
by birds of prey
leaving us
lightheaded
and wanting
neigh

I used to question God
and he didn’t answer
now I question you
and you don’t answer
does that mean
I am the one who found God
on earth ?

I want to say
you got the best of me
but I think we both know
there wasn’t much best left
so instead
you got what was left of me
and somehow
that was
enough.

Nobody asked
so nobody told
instead
we threw our heads back
and laughed
out loud
me too

I will stay with you
in the dark
because
at other times
and in other days
in other ways
you showered me with
your  light
when you had it.

Your love is
like tiny shards of broken glass
it will pierce  my heart
eventually

I’m stuck in a corner in Paris
Desperately dialling  home
to  someone who might
answer
at  this late hour,
caller unknown
I’m desperately dialling
I’m desperately dying
I’m stuck in a corner in Paris
totally alone
desperately clinging to life on my
own

I am instantly exhausted
by the thought
and the pain
of trying to explain
that your  thinking
Is inexcusably
and infuriating
flawed

Tonight
I would like to topple the world
so we all fell out
into the abyss
together
and we were all scared
together
no colour no creed
in the mist of all that fear
I would grab your hand
I know I would
and I know
You would grab mine
too

I remember
that deep New Jersey
December snow
my burden was too heavy to carry
I tried to lay it down
as we
trudged thru the snow
pick up your feet
you said
we have a long way to go .

Sometimes I think
tears are just whispers
nobody
hears

Last one to leave
switch the lights off
one thing for.sure
it will never
be
me

Your love
shows me
what
love
actually
is

you think
this is dull
my love
it can get darker
watch me
blow the flame.

You ask me to dance
and I accept
but as we move across the floor
I see the ghosts
of who we once were
dancing
just above us
ghosts of us
circling
the who we once were
when we used to dance
boldly
carelessly
effortlessly
when we glided
and glided
heads held back
laughing out loud
for all the world to see
without ghosts
gliding
reminding
of who we used to be

I will lay myself down now
Although I am scared
I will lay myself down now
So you can be heard
I will lay myself down now
Our souls jointly bared
I will lay myself down now
Today we are paired

Nobody actually
made it out alive
those who survived
stifled  our children’s
cries

Maybe you found me
just to show me
how good I could be
or
to give me a reason
to not be
so much like me

Sometimes
love
disguises itself
like someone
you used to trust
but in between
you grew up

You cannot capture light
But darkness hovers
so available
so bright

how will I remember
what love feels like
when days are too long
devoid of song
and sound
how will I remember
what touch feels like
when rooms are dark
the light too stark
how will I remember
what real feels like
when words are few
and I don’t have you

I think
I am so completely lost now
without your face
Your embrace
too far away
your smile distant
your words
nonexistent
your presence
forever
Omniscient

it was late
it was a good time
just as I was leaving
guess what I found
someone who looked
just like you
staring out
from the bottom
of my bottle
well ….
that ain’t right.

There is a deep steady uncertainty upon us now
not  a one of us knows how
to soothe it with words
instead we answer the battle cry

Where do you go when
you leave me?
to a land of clear and clarity
is that honestly
so much better
that sitting here
totally
confused
and cluttered
with me?

I am laughing out loud
this much is true
Please know
I am dying inside

Those were long languid days
Sparkling wines
and beautiful children
overhanging trees
and flowering baskets
And there we were
living amongst this
beauty
and light
and sunshine
Easy days that lingered into the night
Blond dogs that caught the light
You were easy to love
I was restless
I was stormy
And I was always
fighting
against
being
yours.

There is no safe rock
No sane mind
There is no easy route
do not look behind
There is no solid block
No ticking clock
There is no way forward
Do not break the lock

and then
just as I dressed
in an unusual style
flicked my tongue
over my newly bought smile
looked in the mirror
thought
okay. this ain’t a trial
you called
like I always knew
you would.

I’ve searched this house
ten times or more
every cupboard
every  door
I just can’t find us
anywhere.

we are lost at sea
the radio broken
the winds ten force
totally off course.

I hailed a taxi
to take me two blocks away
from my life
then realised
you were waiting there
and
everywhere

can I let every little thing
that makes me me
flow out of me
naturally  
or do
I have to check myself in at the door?

Do you remember when
we didn’t care
when we said
we would face life
head on
when we laughed at pain
when we didn’t explain
when we picked up the pieces
without complain
when we liked our life
without looking for fame

I heard you called
I didn’t hear
someone told me
next day
too late
next time
if you need me
shout.

Do not let anyone
ever
tell you
you are not okay
you talk too loud
you have too much to say
you live in a cloud
maybe you do
what’s the taboo?
but do not let anyone
ever
wherever
ever
tell you what to do
or you have too much to say
except
sometimes
maybe me!

The day fell away from us
glistened slightly
before decent
Into a murky blue night
Lit by the not too distant lights
of a city
that tempted
strange delights
We held firm
In our murky blue light
Far away
From the city
that tempted
us
each and
every night

If I die young
which we both know can’t happen now
do me a favour
lie to everyone
tell them
I died too young
nobody will disagree
do t for fun
do it just for me!

My love for you
flows endlessly
through my fingertips
hold my hand

somebody
pour  me a drink
pour me a life
pour me a lie
somebody
tell me
it’s okay to cry.