Most of you is gone from me now snippets remain your smile your brown eyes the way you saw the world your indifference your belief in me your difference to me your belief in strange I was not brave enough even though we both wished me so.
I am swimming in a sea of you I am drowning in too much of you I am climbing the Everest of you I am delving into the deep of you I am inhaling the worst of you I am crying for the loss and the best of you
We still have a small chance a window, if you will to be the kind of family we always wanted to be that we should be but the clock is ticking and ticking and ticking so loudly it is beginning to silence the decent and real tiny parts of me
She is gone again just as quickly has she arrived like a wisp of smoke again like a sunrise missed again like a moment lost again like an opportunity known again like love found again
of all the smiles ever given to me and there’s been a few the best smile was the one you gave to me in ‘94 as you ran to me arms outstretched love unattached straight into my arms with your love for me written all over the man I knew you would eventually be.
I think our love a little bit saggy now no dancing beneath the stars no hanging in late night bars more sunrise than sunset but still I’m hanging with you!
Eventually the lies disappear like smoke upon touch the truth appears without warning that it could ever mean so much eventually morning dawns from a night filled with tears eventually without the fanfare life starts again to everyone’s surprise we awake again a little embarrassed again to a glorious and unexpected sunrise.
This is probably The best that I can be yes, this is probably it for me I would like to offer more and more and more even up the score but in all honestly this is probably The best that that I can be
this what we have done together these little humans we have nurtured together and tossed out into the world together this what we have done together is way more than we could have ever done apart just stand back give it a beat look at them listen to them they are amazing and our whole life’s work.
this is a beautiful life and my bit in it is divine and way more than I deserve in any currency so why can I not see me and life from the outside and those who are looking in?
I miss you god, here it is. now, at last it’s been said out loud no words no rhymes can describe how much I miss you or who I am without you or the fact that I miss you here it is out loud at last I miss you now it’s said.
let me hear you laugh let me hear you cry let me watch you die into another evening without try let me cry without voice with no invoice in the post let me try.
I cannot breath because the pain you cause kills my will and my spirit my grit I cannot breath because your boot is bigger and louder and way more important than my life
somewhere along the line our life got lost I couldn’t find it anywhere although I searched neither could you God knows, I tried you didn’t I gave up but if perchance you find it or even try post it to me you have my address.