Look at these scars
and still say you don’t care
look at these scars
openly
honestly
No, you won’t find them
there
not on my face
or my arm
or in my embrace
look at these scars
and still say
you don’t care

You never asked me
to dance
I just wanted
to dance
from the moment
I met you

Honesty
I have never been this close
to this amount of pain
and survived

Suddenly
Oddly
Weirdly
Bizarrely
I am
Back
In
The room
.

we are talking ourselves into
another decade together
after all the tears
and all the doubts
all the fears
and the what abouts
after all the
who we could have been
and should have been
if we didn’t hold each other back
even after all that
we are talking ourselves into
another decade together

no no no
I hear you
I am
listening
trust me
I am listening
intensely
but
forgive me for asking
before we both die of boredom
what frigging point
are you trying to make?

It’s a fine thread
Between
Your heart and mine
silken and fine
like rich red wine
don’t break the line
and nor
will I
trust in me
and we will be fine

I joined
a poetry club today
then quickly realised
they were not interested
in anything I had to
say
and more  importantly
in my world
that’s okay .

Let the phone ring
let the dog bark
let the sun rise
then sink
let the day dawn
let the youths yawn
let my mind spawn
too far
let the birds sing
let the drunk get
to his car
let this mistake
only take us
so far

this much I know
if I know
nothing else
there is always
a next.

I miss you
every night
everyday
I have spent all night
last night
and most of today
trying to find the right script to slay
no words present themselves
they know how much is at play
I miss you
every night
everyday

every word
in this conversation
has been said before
they fall exhaustingly
at the door
verbs
dying of boredom
on the floor
vowels
wishing  they were dead
sentences
refusing to finish
pronouns
dying at our sound
adjectives
don't even show up
every word
in this conversation
my love
has all been said
before.

when everyone left
I found myself alone
not for the first time
but nevertheless
alone

I caught your smile
mid air
it was going in no direction
It’s safe in my back pocket
available for collection

this
what we have done
together
these little humans
we have
nurtured
together
and tossed out
into the world
together
this
what we have done
together
is way more than
we could have ever
done
apart
just stand back
give it a beat
look at them
listen to them
they are amazing
and our whole
life’s work.

I loved you
yesterday
or at least
I tried
but you were you
yesterday
or at least
you tried

I’ve just realised
that nobody talks in rhyme
and nobody  walks in time
words are never sublime
nobody told me
nobody said
nobody knew
I care
too much
inside my head

This is a hand
I never wanted to play
these are the  words
I never wanted to say
you are the human
I never
ever  sought to shame
and yet…….

Look at me
I am made of
glass
you may see yourself
but it will pass

talk me gently
into tomorrow
make today
a vague memory

Is this it then
Is this
the best we can do?
Me and you
Come on now
Dig deep
we can do tomorrow
way better than
we did  
today.

I will loosen my hold on you
no questions
no answers
if you will too
imagine
we could both fly free
imagine
the people we could
be

when there was nothing but money
to make
we made it
when there was no love to lose
we lost it
when there was no game to play
we played it
when there was nothing to say
we talked anyway

None of the love you gave me
was good enough
I know you tried
you know I cried,
but none of the love
you gave me
was ever good
enough

Has anyone ever written
an unforgettable poem
a truly unforgettable poem
I can’t remember
can you?

say goodbye
to who you were yesterday
know this
for sure
you woke up today
with a chance
to be
a brand new you

In all truth
I know my life started with you
no one else
has ever made sense of me
quite the way
I needed them
to

I wonder
if anyone
has ever been
as wrong
about someone
as I have been
about you

Not sure if I could ever
drink away
the pain
or the hurt
of your memory
the scattering
you left behind
the tattering
of my heart
you scattered
without care
or cause
never  caring
for a minute
the meaning of
because

One day
probably not today
or tomorrow
but one day
probably  
not tomorrow
but one day
that looks
a bit like
today
tomorrow
I hope I end up
today
with you

Such a deep pond, this
but nobody pushed me in
I dived with joy
I thought it would be
such cooling water
endorsing my joy
I never thought
never realised
I would end up
gasping for air.

I cannot find
the right words
and nor can you
so we choose
silence.

I know what you mean
I know what you are saying
I am not crazy
I am not insane
I just
honestly
don’t think
the same.

I heard you came home. last night
or the night before
our town is a small town
news is never quite up to date
still
I heard you came home last night
and  I wonder
what the **** does that
feel like?

Hey
I get it
We are going nowhere
Who cares
Let’s go there

give me back my smile
I am miserable without it
you took it with you
by mistake
at least
that’s what you said

I don’t miss you being here
telling me
what to do
I miss you being here
showing me
how to be

I know the little bits of you
that you hide
very hidden
and safe
and aside
very deeply inside
your very expensive silk
suit pocket

when you tell me
you are happy
I will close my eyes
until them
I am wide awake

Oddly I breathe
a little better
smile a little better
wake up a little better
behave a lot less better
am myself a little better
when I am at home
doing better better things
with you

This might just be the end
hold your breath
we’re sinking fast
hold your breath
we’re going down
hold your breath
and pray

Imagine
what we could have been
if we had only
tried

Do not drip feed  me
your love
I am not an infant
I can walk.

There is a long queue
behind me
and a huge pain inside me
difference is
I loved you
unlike most of those behind me
I believe
the sadness is
you called this one
too early

If I could just
for one minute
truly be myself
and pour me into the world
undiluted
I would poison
everyone I touched
I would ****
the pure
and obscure
I would flood the world
with truth
and pictures
and memories
of their youth

I’m not so impressed with
the big parts of you
but I am totally and completely
in love
with the little bits of you
the crumbs of you
left scattered on the ground
when the world
decides
it is done with you

Please don’t get lost in
yesterday
join us
celebrate
today

I don’t know where
I’m going
but I know
I can’t leave you
behind

I overheard you phone
conversation
turned quickly so
not to hear
things I shouldn’t
but I still heard
all the bad about
me