I know you couldn’t leave me
if you tried
You know I couldn’t leave you
if I tried
and so the golden ink
of trying
burns sacred scars
upon our souls.

I know I see things
differently
I live in a paler shade
of grey
where it’s not quite so important
what you have to say

One day
probably not today
or tomorrow
but one day
probably  
not tomorrow
but one day
that looks
a bit like
today
tomorrow
I hope I end up
today
with you

Can I just say
last night
I fell in love with you
all over again
and I suddenly remembered
when

Are we just
two people
who have given up
on each other ?

words are just words
letters strung together
that someone sometime
said made sense
and no one disagreed
so someone else
sometime , somewhere
decided
if they fit together
in an agreeable fashion
its poetry
its not , my loves,
it’s just words
letters strung together
that someone , sometime
said
made sense and
no one
disagreed
and that , my friends
is all this is
letters strung into
words .

I am thankful
you are
who you are
are you ?

Hello!
Hello!
Hello Miss
hang on
Hello Miss
hang on
Sorry
so sorry
hang on
I think you dropped this
as you disembarked the train
I usually wouldn’t have bothered
except
I think it might be your
heart.

I will leave your love here
in the graveyard of regret
because I cannot take it with me
the burden
the memory
the joy
the pain
the  love
the almost
the lovely
too heavy
for my already
heartbroken
weakened heart.

Happy ending presented itself
at my door last night
I recoiled at the sight
I would much prefer
to howl into the night
Isn’t that right?

Night is closing in
I see that
yet I have ten thousand words sill
inside my head
what do I do with them?

no no no
I hear you
I am
listening
trust me
I am listening
intensely
but
forgive me for asking
before we both die of boredom
what frigging point
are you trying to make?

the conversation around here
is a long time dead
no one mourned it’s passing

we have overstayed
our welcome
in each other’s lives

You were never
a party
worth staying up for.

This is not about
you and me
but more about
who
we think we should
be

Listen to me now
I may say same words tomorrow
But not in the same way
Listen to them now
The cadence
The flow
Listen to them now
Their rhyming deep and low
Listen to my words
Beating deeper
Deeper
forever slow

You do know
the best I can give you
is a bad reputation

I love the bits of  you
you can’t see
because
I suspect
you shield
the world
from seeing them too

I love this
not sure of anything else
but sure of this
I love this
I love the this is us ly ness
of this
and us,

Of all the little things
you have given me
the myriad of kindness
you have shown me
well, this
this is the best.

this
what we have done
together
these little humans
we have
nurtured
together
and tossed out
into the world
together
this
what we have done
together
is way more than
we could have ever
done
apart
just stand back
give it a beat
look at them
listen to them
they are amazing
and our whole
life’s work.

sometimes
I get lost
inside
the deepest deep
deep parts  of me
and I have to say
it’s not the worst place
to be!

There are about three billion words
on the inside of me
on the outside
Man, they are struggling
to be

Thank you
for seeing right through
who I try to be
reaching into
the core of me
laughing at who
I think I should be
and loving
the girl
I ended up
to be.

we laugh
the loudest
and fall the loudest
and hurt the loudest
and rise the loudest
of anyone I know

every word
in this conversation
has been said before
they fall exhaustingly
at the door
verbs
dying of boredom
on the floor
vowels
wishing  they were dead
sentences
refusing to finish
pronouns
dying at our sound
adjectives
don't even show up
every word
in this conversation
my love
has all been said
before.

My heart is in my pocket
I keep it there
It’s almost safe
But there are pick pockets
Everywhere
On every street
At ever turn
They are quick
They are sleek
They steal hearts
with slight of hand
And magic dust
Then disappear
And leave you
heartless
And torn
battle weary
And worn

we rushed from the warm inside
to the cold outside
of a New York City night
Hailed a cab
then caught sight
of a lonely figure
slumped in the night
Someone help
Someone said
she’s in trouble
her soul is dead
and I thought
it is indeed
but what makes her different
from everyone else
I’ve met
Tonight

Three words
John
Jack
Boo
Now that’s poetry!

here’s my smile
you always said you liked it
not sure I own it anymore
take it
not sure I want it anymore
and
you always said you liked it.

When did those little boy arms
that ran to me
full of joy and laughter
and wild abandon
straight into my arms
unquestionable love
when did those little boy arms become
strong enough to hold me
and save me?

Love clipped me
didn’t **** me
but God……
love came right up in my face
and asked way too much
of me

Here is a truth I know
I was never quite good enough for you
I will never say it out loud
and nor will you
we will just laugh outloud
and pretend
it’s not true

Down here
in the murky blue
navy blue
grey of life
that us few
allow
ourselves
ever to feel
don’t you feel
just
a little bit more
sanctimonious
just
a little bit more
connected to life
Or is that just
me?

our love
which was once
an event
a waterfall
a crescendo
splendid enough that
people would queue
for hours
just to to see it
I get it
I would queue too
to see
our love
our love
is now just
a trickle
that no one
is interested enough
to get out of bed for
it’s just not
that special
anymore
in all honesty
it’s just not that interesting
to anyone
not even to
to you and me
anymore

I live within realms
of silence
I so want to relinquish
yet cannot

Millions of words
reign down upon my head
each day
if I could absorb half
I would be a hero
to myself
as it goes
I feel
the noise of too many voices
hurt my soul
create a hole
even I
cannot climb out of.

I see you
and you see me
‘doesn’t matter
if it is not
forever.

I am totally in love
with the girl I set out to be
if you see her
please send her back
posthaste
I miss her.

Is this it then
Is this
the best we can do?
Me and you
Come on now
Dig deep
we can do tomorrow
way better than
we did  
today.

New York  City
flashes
for you tonight
Tomorrow it will
Probably expose
your plight

Please forgive me if
I know longer  
know
the right thing to say

It’s a fine thread
Between
Your heart and mine
silken and fine
like rich red wine
don’t break the line
and nor
will I
trust in me
and we will be fine

If you love  me
even once in a while
talk me out of this
I am deep into another
mistake

so
this is what a final Goodbye  feels like
the knowledge that there will be
no
right of reply
no
thinking it over tomorrow
and deciding we were wrong
no
we said too much
no
let’s keep in touch
no
lets fume for a week
and have coffee next Friday
no
let’s talk it out again
and say sorry for playing games
this
is the game
that
was the game
we lost
no
chance to regain
you are gone
from this earth
so
this is what a final goodbye feels like.

You left last night
in a hurry
but you left tiny bits of yourself
scattered
in a bit of a flurry
not sure what to do with them now
seems wrong to sweep them away
still
you were the one who left last night
in a bit of a hurry

and after we slept
we awoke
as is the path
to a tomorrow
of division
same species
all human
growling at each other
in the dark

this
I know
is way more
important
than me.

I am leaving now
my love
and I will leave my heart with you
safekeeping
for better days
no longer can I stay.