Don’t play
with the real people
in your life
they really are
rare

Would you be kind enough
to direct me,
to the nearest exit
I am leaving .

You know
I don’t know
and revel in the not knowing
because the pain of knowing
would mean growing
into someone
I believe is
not worth the knowing

I
wish
I
could write
a poem
about you

Your heart
my friend
is the purest thing
in my lifetime
I will ever see

it’s a long walk back
I said
we walked here earlier
you said
I know but
the  grass looked greener
then

You live on hallowed ground
he said
I know
I said
wouldn’t you like to live there
too

I love you
whatever that means.

Have you ever been to Santorini
on a boat
when you were young
and blond
and gorgeous
and free?
Have you ever been to Santorini
when life lay before you
like a joke
a challenge
a high
Have you ever been to Santorini
when the sun is so high
you feel you could die
If you’ve never been to Santorini
you don’t know me
but  trust me
just give it a try!

I just didn’t expect
the tears
at least not mine
I was ready for everything else
or so
I thought
I just didn’t expect the pain
or to be asked to explain
I just didn’t expect the blame
or to be asked to explain

You left tiny pieces of yourself
on the dance floor last night
I only noticed because
when I began to sweep
they were still shining
bright

There are seven wonders of the world
and I am sitting here
right here
right now
having dinner
with three of them

Just give a little
he said
dear god I’m trying
I said
just speak louder
he said
just look twice
I said
I’m dead

Because of you
my head held high
because of you
I learned how to
fly

You walk away so
easily
makes me wonder why
you don’t just keep on
walking

Even here
in the midst of our decay
I still have words
left to say

I remember
birthdays
tiny small blond little girl
birthdays
tall glamorous  blond big girl
birthdays
now
faraway distant missing you
lonely horrible make do
Zoom birthdays

I have gathered up
all the little bits of me
the sharp edges
and the tiny shards
I have put them in this bag
right next to me
I won’t touch it
if
you don’t touch it
to
two
too.

Found this here this morning
carelessly flung
on the living room floor
fallen I fear
from one of our pocket’s
a random lie
left over
but ill begotten

The sun sinks
and I do my best not to sink with it
at least it’s done it’s job
lit the world for another day
I have just sat here
and complained all day

What is that
he said
as his fingertips
brushed
lightly
above my heart
scar tissue
I said
I am lucky I am
not dead

You are a witch
from a long line
of witches
jump on your broom
and fly!

I love you
Out
loud

he spoke words
I had only read in
poetry

Let it go
Maybe then
everyone else will too
The pain
The injustice
The wrong
The right
The high ground
The low ground
Let it go
Look.somewhere else
To find your grow
Look somewhere else
find your glow

You are careless about
my love
yesterday you left it in a carpark
while you shopped
today you forgot all about it
while you golfed
while you dined and whined
and laughed out loud
last night you dropped it at the door
of a club
You are careless about my love
you are careless
about
my
love

Little bits of you
drip into my brain
at 3 am
most nights
causing me to wake
and gasp
struggle for breath
but not
in a good way.

Does
forever
sound
like us?

I don’t know what  it feels like
to be half as cool as you
Manhattan is busy
and so are you
I don’t know what it feels like
to be half
as busy
and important
as you

Imagine my surprise
when I looked in your eyes
and realised
exactly who you are

My love for you
is so unattended
yet still so
attendably
here

I know you believe
she won’t fly away
you clipped her wings
long ago
she has fluttered away
fluttered
fluttered
and stuttered
until
TODAY!

Difficult
doesn’t even go anywhere near
where we find ourselves
tonight
gasping for breath
nothing clear
except which one of us
orders the next
beer

I have burnt my bridges
and the heat
from those  flames
marks my skin
everyday

Let’s pretend
no one ever broke our hearts
Let’s draw a line under yesterday
and wake up anew
with just me
and you.

Forgive my insecurities
they are born
from my badly cracked heart

My tears are rooted
in my mother
and
my father
no apologies
needed

There is nothing much left now
feelings fall
like autumn leaves
crushed by heavy boots
and soon forgotten in
winters debris
there is nothing much left now
but a spring clean
of everything we ever
strived to be

You will never know me
by asking
how I am
I am changing
day by day.

You colour me differently
now
once you painted me in bright pink
with orange edges
now you colour me grey
with a dash of blue
are your crayons
running short?

I will write a word
if you write one too
I will right a wrong
if you right one too

I like your smile
you like mine
so far
it’s all sublime
don’t introduce your real self
in case
I have to find mine

I saw you
I know you didn’t feel it
but I did
I saw you
just a glimpse
of you
it was late
I could be wrong
but honestly
I saw you
for the first time
in such a long time
I think I saw you
but it was late

How many leaves
are on that tree
he said
God, I don’t know
six billion and sixty three
I said
Nah
Just two
he said.

I am screaming at the the sky
but I still love
the dark blue inky ness
of its call

you silence me
which is. more
than anyone
has ever done before

Why do you speak
in capitals
and love in lower case?

I cannot reach out
There is no reach left
I cannot cry out
There is no cry left
I cannot crawl away
There is no crawl left
I cannot win now
There is no win left

I will send flowers
or a plane
if that’s what it takes
just come home
for another minute

Come on ‘ he said
Christ’ I thought
if only…………..
sadly
I have no ‘come on’s ‘
left