Remember you said
you would rather be dead
than to live a life without cause
God, how honourable then
I thought you were my saviour
and I drank your presence
like the sweetest wine
I clung to your every word
like a long lost disciple
All I ever wanted to be was
the perfect daughter
perfect friend
perfect girl
but you left
without teaching me
how to be just like you

Love is amazing but
love is waking up the next day
and not feeling quite
so sure  about yourself.

You ask me to dance
and I accept
but as we move across the floor
I see the ghosts
of who we once were
dancing
just above us
ghosts of us
circling
the who we once were
when we used to dance
boldly
carelessly
effortlessly
when we glided
and glided
heads held back
laughing out loud
for all the world to see
without ghosts
gliding
reminding
of who we used to be

I don’t care
about the money
I just really really
honestly
believe me now
I just really really
care
about the dance.

Lay your feelings down on me
God knows
I have laid mine heavily
upon you

I will leave my words here now
scattered upon the floor
as I have
so many times before
gather them or discard them
reject them or suspect them
scorn them or pity them
love them or lose them
or simply dismiss them
as you have done
so many times before

I left before
you
that was my only
crime

Hello there
Well, hello you too
I’ve never seen anyone with hair like you
it wasn’t good
it wasn’t great
but you know what
it was enough!

somewhere in the the depths of this
I saw myself
drowning in pain
it was a distant and silent view
somewhere lost in tomorrow
I saw myself
desperately reaching for the surface
it was exhausting and harrow
somewhere in the shadow.of this
I see myself
swimming  desperately swimming
desperately searching for the shore

All I can do
as the red *** sun rises
is smile
at the night we just had
even  given
it’s guises

I caught your smile
mid air
it was going in no direction
It’s safe in my back pocket
available for collection

Here’s what I will do
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you
I’ll raise the the stakes by two
stack the odds
in favour of you
and still pretend
I didn’t hear you
Tell me who the **** else
would do that for you?

Let the phone ring
let the dog bark
let the sun rise
then sink
let the day dawn
let the youths yawn
let my mind spawn
too far
let the birds sing
let the drunk get
to his car
let this mistake
only take us
so far

When you reigned
you rained tears upon my cheek
fears I could not speak
my mascara
always streaked

I love you
my love is a little bit off centre
that much I know is true
but still
I love you
a little bit off centre
It’s the best I can do.

Happy ending presented itself
at my door last night
I recoiled at the sight
I would much prefer
to howl into the night
Isn’t that right?

My being is slipping
through your fingers now
like sand
the me I used to be
falling at your feet
tiny graduals of me
irritatingly present
transparent
incomplete

If you love  me
even once in a while
talk me out of this
I am deep into another
mistake

when there was nothing but money
to make
we made it
when there was no love to lose
we lost it
when there was no game to play
we played it
when there was nothing to say
we talked anyway

When did those little boy arms
who depended so much on me
when did those little boy arms
become strong enough
to hold me

If  I could paint your sunrise
in the colours that you choose
trust me , I would
except I know
you haven’t paid quite enough
attention
to blue, yet.

Tonight
I would like to topple the world
so we all fell out
into the abyss
together
and we were all scared
together
no colour no creed
in the mist of all that fear
I would grab your hand
I know I would
and I know
You would grab mine
too

I have read
Yeats and Kavanagh
Oscar too
How can they write beautiful
while I flounder here
bereft of a phrase
or two

say goodbye
to who you were yesterday
know this
for sure
you woke up today
with a chance
to be
a brand new you

I think
I keep
our love young
Do you?

I don’t
remember a time
I was me
without you

What  I wanted to say
what I meant to say
in all honesty was nothing like
the two thousand words that
spewed from my mouth
what I wanted to say
was that
in the end
I think we’ll be okay

You make
me
laugh
out loud
if thats not love
tell me
what is?

I loved who you were
when we first met
these days
you’re just a bad
impression
of me

I can do almost anything
but
even for you
I cannot deliver the
morning

are you the one?
you are singing the song
dancing the dance
talking the talk
walking the walk
you might just be in
with a chance
except
from the corner of your eye
I detect
a lie

Your love
is a love without danger
a love that
will make me laugh out loud
forever

When did you grow
into you
I must have been asleep
when did you get so brave
I must have been asleep
when did you start to behave
I must have.been asleep
when did you question the answer
I must have been asleep
when did you answer the question
I must have been asleep
when did you grow
into you

if we say stop
scream stop
shout stop
cry stop
utter stop
whisper stop
whimper stop
long enough
loud enough
enough enough
then surely
at some point
eventually
enough will be enough
at some point
surely?

my words weep
tears
my tears weep
words

always wondered
what it would be like
to be in love with someone
just as cool as you
never quite had the nerve
until now
how come it’s not all
us schoolgirls
dreamt
it would be

You and I
are going nowhere
I say
fair enough
you say
let’s go there
anyway.

how strange
between us now
that silence
shouts

If I were you
I wouldn’t bet on me
the odds are stacked
against the pureness
of your heart

If you are not sure where I am
can’t find me anywhere
not sure who I am
anymore
read my words
I’m in there
somewhere
swimming for the surface
Read.

You dug deep
into the heart of me
to find your gold
then claiming your treasure
laughed out loud
and sailed away.

I am searching for
New York City
in your eyes
wading deep
in Wall Street lies

Everyone says
in a New York Minute
I’ve been here forever
trust me
it takes
ten years!

I have been such
a stranger here
deep inside
the  inside of me
did not know
what to say
did not know
who to pay
I have been
such a stranger
here

Do not try to
dry my tears
they have been weeping
for a hundred years
from my eyes
my mothers eyes
and the eyes of others
long gone
and disappeared

I will send flowers
or a plane
if that’s what it takes
just come home
for another minute

don’t write me a letter
you know
I never learned how to read

if by chance
I never make another friend
for the rest of my life
I think I’m okay  with that
I think maybe
you are enough friend
for the best of my life.

there must be something terribly
wrong with me
the song said
I agreed
and
promptly went to bed.

Perhaps
my soul
is too old
to be sold?