When did those little boy arms
that ran to me
full of joy and laughter
and wild abandon
straight into my arms
unquestionable love
when did those little boy arms become
strong enough to hold me
and save me?

when my heart bled words
I couldn’t voice
somehow you found them
in my garden or somewhere near
wherever I had dropped them
picked them up
and made sense of them
returned them to me
late night
in a song
I  had never heard before
until your voice made
perfect sense of me.

the power of us
the joy of us
the precious of us
the pure good of us
the easy of us
the lovely of us
the worth of us
the best of us
has somehow
become lesser
tangled
confused
and lost
somewhere deep in
the complicated and confused effort of
trying to be
just the two of us .


but still
I’m going nowhere
pour me another song
and I’ll sing you another heartache!

when you came
to take me home I
went willingly
took your hand
easily
then you made
too many left turns
led me down
too many
blind alleys
left me more lost
that I was before
you came and said
let me take you
home.
I am safe
and so are you
you are home.

I am leaving now
my love
and I will leave my heart with you
safekeeping
for better days
no longer can I stay.

we speak the same language
yet can’t understand
a single word
we are trying to say
to each other.

I knew myself better
when I wore
another man’s
clothes

Sleep easy, he said
if only
but never again with you
I thought.

When I left you
I didn’t realise
there was a tiny morsel of you
sewn into my heart
forever

my heart
is buried deep
in yesterday

and then
everything stopped
I don’t remember the day
or the hour
or the month
or the year
but I remember
the silence
it was weird
tell me you remember
that too.

Well done!
You won
You got me
Bullseye!
arrow
straight through
my heart.

I see you
and you look like home
I turn away
but home is always where
the heart is.

I am a book
without words
I am a song
without tune
I am a poem
without rhyme
I am a movie
without sound
I am a play
without plot
I am a painting
without colour
I am a sculpture
without stone
I am a woman
without name.

reveal your thoughts
yes, all of them
let them tumble upon the floor
naked and raw
the little bits of you
no one has ever
ever ever
seen before

of all the smiles
ever given to me
and there’s been a few
the best smile
was the one you gave to me
in ‘94
as you ran to me
arms outstretched
love unattached
straight into my arms
with your love for me
written all over
the man I knew
you would eventually be.

All of this
means nothing
the grandeur
the opulence
the pride
if we are both dead
inside

Do you love me
he said
I will try
I said

Do not drip feed  me
your love
I am not an infant
I can walk.

I see you
in all honesty
it’s murky
but if I move slightly
to the right
and squint my eyes
I think
I see you
albeit
slightly a
a bit too much
to the right.

Leave your feelings here
your emotions
and your deepest thoughts
I will mind them
sacred here within my heart
locked within a lovers vault
they will live here
forever
without fault

I know you want
a conversation
not sure what there is left to say
I left
I walked away
not sure what there is left to say

remind me tomorrow
what I said last night
give me a chance
before you get inhale the pain
man up
and love me again.

None of the love you gave me
was good enough
I know you tried
you know I cried,
but none of the love
you gave me
was ever good
enough

Happy new year to those of you on this site
who have read and encouraged me this year
and more importantly thank you for writing words that I have loved
and will remember
and on we go!
Here’s to 2024!
See you on the other side!

and then
we laughed out loud
albeit a bit too loud
we just
didn’t know what else to do

These are little pieces
in the real world
fragments that
have become undone
if you reach to touch them
they will disappear
like smoke upon touch
the little pieces
that today
seem so much

those who believe in love
take one step to the right
those who are burnt
take one step to the left
those who still believe
stampede straight ahead
headlong
into the middle .

give me back my smile
I am miserable without it
you took it with you
by mistake
at least
that’s what you said

how will I remember
what love feels like
when days are too long
devoid of song
and sound
how will I remember
what touch feels like
when rooms are dark
the light too stark
how will I remember
what real feels like
when words are few
and I don’t have you

Imagine my surprise
when I looked in your eyes
and realised
exactly who you are

You and me
are just a tale of
a heart
defining chance

Love
it comes
and glows
then disappears
like smoke
upon touch

I won’t
throw you a
a line
I am
not quite
that brave

it’s a long walk back
I said
we walked here earlier
you said
I know but
the  grass looked greener
then

You haven’t mistaken me
for someone
you used to know
You have mistaken me for someone
I used to be

This is nice
I said
this is love
he said
No,
this just nice like
I said

You asked for truth
I tried.

I never told you
forever
I never promised
tomorrow
and for what
it’s worth
at this late stage
neither
did you.

Someone like you
was never meant for
someone like me
it was always meant to be
a casual affair

We grew up together
you and me
husband and wife
reaching out
for something
beyond strife
beyond  life
beyond  smile
beyond house
beyond kids
beyond ideal
beyond anyone
could ever hope to be
congrats !
we got there
we are now
after this long time  
beyond anyone  
anywhere
in this universe
could ever hope to be
Well done us!
lets not talk about
the price.

Thank you for listening
to the ten billion words I cough up
each day
and only hearing
the ones
I mean
and still
staying around
and loving me
all the same

we are talking ourselves into
another decade together
after all the tears
and all the doubts
all the fears
and the what abouts
after all the
who we could have been
and should have been
if we didn’t hold each other back
even after all that
we are talking ourselves into
another decade together

I lost myself
the minute and moment
I surrendered
my soul
to you

There is nothing much worth
saving here
you say
except perhaps our child
I say

Photographs
hidden in my bottom drawer
appear
uninvited
into my dreams
tonight
and suddenly I awake
right where
I started from

In all these years
we have given
a million smiles
to each other
surely
we  have one more left
between us

My tears fall
like tiny glass memories
they do not  crash
upon the floor
a bit like me
they flow and ebb
and gently
dissolve into
another
not so good night

There are seven wonders of the world
and I am sitting here
right here
right now
having dinner
with three of them

I should forget
but I haven’t
I should remember
but I don’t
I should see
but I’m blind
I should hear
but I’m deaf
I should go
but I stay
I should know
but I don’t.