I am just a girl
standing in front of a boy
and asking him
to wake the ****
up

Your voice
I don’t hear
Your breath
is not clear
Your love
no longer dear

Forgive me
for it
all
my heart
cannot

Write from the heart
Otherwise
let the words go
unsaid
instead

Stay where you are
and still believe you’re right
I’ll just pour us
another glass of life

Everything now depends
on your very next answer
may seem like pressure to you
trust me
my insides are on fire

When we are all
piled up and held up
and ******* and styled up
maybe then
and only then
when we all feel safe
we will eventually start to think
about escape

Every moment matters
know this
if you know nothing else
it matters because it’s you
even now
reading this
it matters because
it’s you and me
that makes it new

Don’t call it
not now
unless you are absolutely sure
don’t try
Don’t call it
not now
because we have a hundred other ways
to make it fly

Little tiny  pieces of yourself
petered out
at will
supposed to be enough
for me
you know
they never will

There is nothing but
the outside of me
left
this face
this skin
the inside of me
has slowly begun to
wither
from within.

I throw my words at you
like hailstones
hoping they hurt
you receive them
like God
invisible
silent
barely
a nod

I will go down with this ship
or die
trying.

I know nothing
about nothing
but I know
I probably
love you more than
you could ever
love me back
and I am
more than  
all right
with that

We are so close to happy now
It’s almost obscene
We are so close to happy now
We may never have to come
clean
We are so close
to
happy
now

There is nothing much left now
feelings fall
like autumn leaves
crushed by heavy boots
and soon forgotten in
winters debris
there is nothing much left now
but a spring clean
of everything we ever
strived to be

I hailed a taxi
to take me two blocks away
from my life
then realised
you were waiting there
and
everywhere

Every step I take
leads me one step
closer
away
from
you

I am constantly surrounded
exhausted
exploited
by opinions
that mean nothing to me
constantly searching
screeching
for something
that makes sense
to me

I understand why
You don’t understand
Why I don’t
understand
You
Do you?

I miss
every
little
tiny
annoying
thing
about
seeing
you
every
day

I may not be in love
but let me tell you
how that feels

Good

I have a hundred dreams
that didn’t happen
take them all
now
You are welcome
I have no use
for them
anymore

Sometimes
love
disguises itself
like someone
you used to trust
but in between
you grew up

If only the best part
of me
could be a little bit more
like the worse part of you
and you could see that too
then maybe
we could all make
it through

There are more than one hundred ways
to get out of this
and more than a hundred  reasons to stay
I ponder both questions
each
and
every
single
day

When you find yourself
in the inkwell of life
navy dark blue
drowning the light
be glad
you are  but a few
drowning in the liquid
that brings words
to life

Everyone says
truth sets you free
but
what if
truth is a lie

You are exhausted
trying to find your truth
I am exhausted
pointing out the truth
in between
everyone has fallen
asleep

It is the eve of reckoning
I fear
Speak now
Speak out
Speak loud
or quietly
suffocate in your brothers
sighs

There is nothing here
I haven’t seen before
Nothing above me
Beneath me
Nothing that tore
There is nothing here
that could ever
even up the score

The words
I love you
flow from me
gushing from the heart of me
freely
Yet
sadly
catching
just the side of you

There is a whole village
waiting for your return
and within that village
a whole family
praying that you burn

There is
just a little too much talk in this room
random words
escaping from well formed empty
lips
vacuous thoughts
escaping and taking form
causing laughter
but not reform
there is
just a little too much empty
frivolity
in this room

Somewhere way above who I set out to be
unintentionally
I became me
No one I set out to be
or honestly am proud to be
genuinely stuck with me
wake up everyday with me
tried more than once to lose me
annoyingly
still wake up with me
constantly critical of me
randomly amused by me
desperately abused by me
always trying
unsuccessfully
to eventually
get the point
of me.

I don’t know what happy
is anymore
I can’t feel it in my
core
life is now about evening up
the score
which means
happy
can’t live inside me
anymore

I know
Know this
if you know nothing else
know this
I know
and I think
I probably
always did

God, your words are lovely
they fall about me like confetti
they are a celebration
a happy song
I am the bride
dressed in white
a celebration
your words are lovely
yet empty
celebrate your words
they are empty
like a bride lost
in confetti

It was never what
you said
it was just you and me
instead
too much confusion
inside my head

This might just be the end
hold your breath
we’re sinking fast
hold your breath
we’re going down
hold your breath
and pray

Let the best of me
fade into the worst
of you
then I believe
honestly
someday
it may become
True

Everything you wanted
I think
I wanted too
Everything you shouted
I think
I shouted too

Look at these scars
and still say you don’t care
look at these scars
openly
honestly
No, you won’t find them
there
not on my face
or my arm
or in my embrace
look at these scars
and still say
you don’t care

Thanks
lovely but
honestly
not  quite enough

Yesterday fuels
Tomorrow
no matter how we fight
today excuses yesterday
no matter how we fight
every day
lays claim to both
No matter how we fight

You just won’t let go
he said
as he tightened his grip
on the rope
he placed
around my neck

I have lived here now
for such a long time
on the outskirts
of you

I am a tourist
in your life but
I lost my map
and my appetite
at the last beauty spot

We are deep into a
conversation
there is no turning away from
you should have backed out
ten minutes
ago

We are
an
unvarnished
masterpiece
We are
an untuned
piano
We are
an unfinished
script
We are
an abandoned
novel
We are
an unsung
melody
We are
A love story
never told.