I love you
and I always always
probably will
I need you mostly
against my will
but still
I love you
and I always
always
probably
always
probably
will.

Why
does every word
you say
remind me
of a better day

when there was
no more you
wasn’t quite sure
what to do
so just made a big deal
out of missing you

I see you
and you see me
‘doesn’t matter
if it is not
forever.

I don’t want to say
goodbye
before I have left you
don’t want to see you
cry
before I die
   .

let me give you my
words
I have ten million
and three
as do you
it’s just you don’t feel the need
to share your pain
with me.

and then
out of nowhere
he said
I like the thought
of loving you
forever
and I liked
the thought
of that too
maybe
someday
I might like
that thought
enough
to make it
just a little bit
true.

I am not sure
I ever smiled
at you
I think
I just grimaced
and you caught
the pain

it’s just another
salty day
that fell into today
and told me
repeatedly
on a loop
that
honestly
none of this
is honestly
okay.

in a lifetime
of forgotten words
somehow
I remember  yours,

I am sorry
for the burden
I handed you
at birth
I am sorry
for the complications
and all
the family hurt
I am sorry
you are you
I am sorry
I am me
but dear god
above me
forgive me
I am so grateful
we are we.

One day
probably not today
or tomorrow
but one day
probably  
not tomorrow
but one day
that looks
a bit like
today
tomorrow
I hope I end up
today
with you

and then
I want to write  
another million
words
of then

nobody knew what the
question was
but they answered it
anyway.

my heart is drenched
in flame
my heart
has gone
way  beyond
what you  so rightly call
shame.

do you love
love
or just the
notion of
falling into  
something
that looks
a  lot like
what love
should look
a lot like
if you knew
what love looks
like
is that what
your love would
look like?  😁

you think
this is dull
my love
it can get darker
watch me
blow the flame.

this
what we have done
together
these little humans
we have
nurtured
together
and tossed out
into the world
together
this
what we have done
together
is way more than
we could have ever
done
apart
just stand back
give it a beat
look at them
listen to them
they are amazing
and our whole
life’s work.

I am sailing on
a sea of huge regret
still smiling
but nevertheless
navigating
badly
a sea
of huge regret.

give me a reason
just one
even a little one
a pebble
if you will
then maybe
just maybe
I will change
it only takes a truth
at least half of one
to turn
desperation
into hope.

you look at me
like I am the only girl
in the world
but I’m not
there are millions of us
look around
open your eyes
there are millions
of us
just milling around !

No
is a complete sentence
I only
learned that
yesterday
so today
I can say
out loud
no
no
no
and louder
No
No
JUST NO

if this is it
if this is the end
do me a favour
give me a clue
throw me a line
let’s pretend
all along
we knew
today
was the day
we planned
the end.

How many people
do you honestly
really seriously really
really love
in the world
tonight
count then
on one hand
if you can
how many?
cherish them
and love them
tonight
or tomorrow
if you can.

your words
fall lightly
upon my ears
and I suspect
they always will
I see
the good
in everyone.

You talk about love
like you feel
You talk about tomorrow
like you know
You talk about us
like its real.

I know you are
reaching out
I know you know
I am reaching too
It’s just our
reaching
is a bridge too far.

You are a
beautiful example
of what happens
when privilege
has a conscience

don’t look to me for honesty
for honestly
not sure if I can give it
don’t look to me to truth
for truthfully
not sure if I understand it
don’t look to me for love
for lovingly
I’ll decline it.

there is
nowhere
you will ever go
no depth
no height
no valley
no peak
no desert
no sea
no joy
no sorrow
there is
nowhere
you will ever go
no abyss
deep enough
for me
not to find you
and carry you home
again .

I am getting older
and you are too
I might not be around
to know the older you
but you
got to know
the older me
which I suspect will look
a lot like
the older you
and
I got to know
the younger you
which I know
although you won’t agree
looks a hell of a lot
like me!

I don’t know
when the tears came
and overtook me
but I suspect
it was just
around the time
I first met you

save me
and I
will save
you too
my arms
are strong
but forgive me
your arms
at least to me
right here
right now
seem
a little  bit
not strong.

I tried
you lied
you tried
I lied
between
the trying
and
the lying
somehow
somewhere
in between
the lying and
the trying
somehow
somewhere
love
started
dying.

there is nowhere
like tomorrow
no one I know
has ever been there
Come ‘on
Let’s go!

Look at your father
laugh a bit
if you will
but know this
if you know nothing else
ever
as long as you live
this
is the purest
most honest
love
you
for the rest
of your life
will ever
know!

Thank you Dublin
for making me honest and simple
and pure
left you behind
a hundred years ago
but thank you Dublin
thank you for taking the trouble
to teach me what
decent people do
thank you for reminding me
what my father would do
thank you for giving me
the gift of the gab
thank you for all
the Irish jab
thank you for
my mam and dad
thank you for staying with me
after all these years
thank you Dublin
I miss you
and I will see you very soon!

apparently America
wants Canada
**** me
What will America want next
Me and you?

you speak words
the world cannot
stand

the dark skies and gloom
you say are
in front of you
look like fairy tales
and sunny skies
to me
so put your happy hat on
jump outside
capture a cloud
and if you can’t
just put your
happy hat on
anyway
in case
I am right
and
you are wrong

I am your
shadow
I will always
misbehave.

You are
exactly
where
you deserve
to be

if I lived
in a wide and expansive
field of cherries
I would wade out
walk the field
cut the cud
stay out all night
until I found
my friend laurence
there are bunches of cherries
everywhere
but , come on
let me be honest
Laurence's
are a little bit more
rare

It’s just the flame
that interests me.

Thanks

You are
I am
some
where
in between
it
became
no mans
land,

and in the blink of an eye
we lived
that  same old lie

I don’t know
whose life
I am living here
but if you ever come across her
do me a favour
please tell her
to call me
I would so like to
give it back to her.

I am living
in a life of luxury
I don’t recognise
anymore.

no no no
I hear you
I am
listening
trust me
I am listening
intensely
but
forgive me for asking
before we both die of boredom
what frigging point
are you trying to make?