sometimes
I get lost
inside
the deepest deep
deep parts  of me
and I have to say
it’s not the worst place
to be!

every word
in this conversation
has been said before
they fall exhaustingly
at the door
verbs
dying of boredom
on the floor
vowels
wishing  they were dead
sentences
refusing to finish
pronouns
dying at our sound
adjectives
don't even show up
every word
in this conversation
my love
has all been said
before.

I seek beauty
this I know is true
I seek truth
I seek joy
I seek cigarettes
I seek yesterday
this I know is true
I seek me
I seek free
I seek we
but
I will never
ever again
seek you
this I know is true .

I’ve searched this house
ten times or more
every cupboard
every  door
I just can’t find us
anywhere.

and then
someone said
why don’t you marry me
instead?

when everyone left
I found myself alone
not for the first time
but nevertheless
alone

It seems too easy to say
I love you
I want to say I love
the total uniqueness of you
the difference of you
the boldness of you
the look of you
the laugh out loud of you
the kindness of you
the difference from me of you
the sameness of me of you
the I will do it anyway of you
the **** the world of you
the arrogance of you
the humility of you
the soft spaces of you
the late  night tears of you
it seems too easy to say I love you
the perfect perfectness of you
but hey
I want to say it anyway!