If I live to be two  hundred and ten
actually if I live until
next Tuesday
I will never love again
as I have loved you.

even when
I wasn’t in love
with you
when I couldn’t
catch the feeling
even when
the two of us
were lost in
a New York evening
even when
we were drowning in
noise and confusion
even when
we saw life
in different colours
even when
you were big
and I was small
even when
I was big
and you were small
even when I was here
and you were gone
even when you were there
and I was gone
even then
even then
I knew we’d get here
arrival times may differ
check with your carrier
but I knew we’d get here
even then
somehow
I knew we’d get here
and against the odds
*******
here we are
have we got there
are we here?

Here’s the thing
the missing
never leaves
we just learn
that love
is just as real
from afar.

when the party was over
and the balloons hit the floor
when yet again
there was just me and you
I was glad as always
that you were just you
and I was just me
annoying as that can be
to the masses
in all honesty
Who the **** else would
we  ever want to be?

I don’t know where
I’m going
but I know
I can’t leave you
behind

This is a hand
I never wanted to play
these are the  words
I never wanted to say
you are the human
I never
ever  sought to shame
and yet…….

I will block out
the two hundred poems in my head
and write this one
for you
instead.