I don't know why I cry.
It doesn't fix anything.
And there's no one there
To wipe them away
Or at least comfort me.

Don't even listen to me
I have no idea what the ****
I am talking about

But honestly


Please show me someone who does.

What's the perfect guy
If he's not perfect for you

Waiting for the day
For you to call me
When I'm looking at flowers
Instead of up at the stars

Everyone wants this sad sob story
Like some sort of excuse
for the way I feel.

And I'm sorry that I can't give you that.
Because the saddest thing that has happened to me
hasn't really happened to me.

So I don't know why I'm so upset.
I have no reason to
Other than the fact
that only ****** people exist.

And I too am in existence.

So who the **** is gonna pity
Some ****** person like myself.

You remind me of
Wilting roses.

Once so pretty
And full of life.

Now dying
And able to see the end.

Please don't be bothered
If I come along with you.

Because I can still see
All of your beauty.

Am I truly happy
If I have to
Convince myself that I am?

I've learned to live this way
Because of people like you.
Yes you.
No matter how bad of a person I think I am
You are worse.

You take insecurities and
Give me less of a reason to feel safe
Especially behind my back.  

I'm sorry your stupidity probably doesn't understand
What half of these mean.

Ever understood an analogy?

Here it is plain and simple.

Go **** yourself.

I guess it's comforting to know that one day I won't be here anymore.

I think up
This great fantasy
Of moving away

I think that
I need a new setting

But it hasn't taken me long
To realize

It's not this place

It is my mindset.

There are so many words in our language.
So many ways to express myself.
A large sum to describe myself.
Joyous just isn't one of them.

all i want in life is to paint and travel and write and read and love and cry. and i can't.
i am craving life. and it's a taste i haven't had it since a past life.
i struggle because that taste is still lingering and that's what has kept me going. in search for that new, bursting flavor. i've only had dull foods.
i keep pouring myself into this search. and i've noticed i've only made it a few streets over since the day i was born.
i'm starting to lose that burning passion to find it. my great flame has turned into barely embers.
i'm not who i was. and neither are any of you if you were wondering. i've lived in this same town for all of my years, but i still seem to be lost.
i never learned properly how to use a map.

maybe one day i'll find some sort of clue. i have plans of where i'm headed, but hopefully they won't work out.

this craving is getting to me. i can hardly ever even feed myself anymore because i am giving myself more that i don't want. i drink a lot of water which is probably another reason the fire is dying.
oh well. this is what life is about, right?


**you could have been my gasoline.

You are my drug,
And I'm about to overdose.