Morning dew peeking through my window
Fighting to shatter my darkness within.
I turn over fighting my demons poking at my soul.
Shouting to me that I won’t last long.
Last couple of days, felt like a nightmare without escape.
Not even my shadow wants to appear from the hell I’m living in.
Staring at my reflection in the mirror echoes my pain, so I avoid my own eye contact, to avoid my pain.
How can you live a life so pure, so true; to have it ripped right underneath you? Evil, betrayal, deceit, hate, ****, die!
Words, feelings, qualities all trying to consume my identity.
How could this happen to me?
As if I could be exempt from suffering.
I forgot suffering, I forgot to expect it, I forgot it exist.
But now its existence wars within me to destroy me.
I don’t want to fight.
Let me give in.
Let me surrender to the truth darkness reveals, to a falsehood the light covered.
All trust – obliterated into a million pieces floating in the air of black and grey.
What will heal me now?
Yet still, I must rise from this ugly place.
The ground is cold and hard to rest on.
The food lacks and taste of bitterness and hate.
There is no sun, only a paralyzed eclipse.
I scream “No more”!
I have to leave this place.
Nothing makes sense.
I fight to remember my reflection without pain.
I must.
There has to be some beauty left in me.
Rise!
I must rise!
I will rise!
I am rising slowly.