Welcome to the new year
Another year of pain
Of tears
Of trying to be the example
That your siblings look up to.
Another year of depression
Another year of anxiety.
Another year of trying to hold everything together.
But welcome to the new year,
And I can only hope that it will be better than the last.

I realize that you probably hate me.
Don't worry
I hate me too.
You say that you don't,
but I see the anger, the sadness, the disgust
that lives and thrives on the lies
that are told, either for the
protection or self-gain of those who tell
them.
Your disgust thrives on my flesh,
eats into my bones,
leaches into my brain.
Shatters me.
I realize you hate me.
Don't worry
I hate me too.
I draw on my wrists with silver
but
it
comes
out
red.

When is it all right to let go?
The waves of despair are so
Strong, they force me under the
Water of my own heavy tears.
Why does no one hear my desperate
Cries for help to survive this
****** up life?

We are us.
We are corrupted.
We are human beings.
We think that we rule the world.
We don’t.
We say that we’re better than everyone else.
We’re not.
We think that we were meant to establish dominance.
We’re weren’t.
We say that we’re just kidding, that we didn’t mean it.
We do.
We think what we don’t say, and we say before we think.
We were meant to be kind to others, no matter how far it got us in life.
But we’re not.

I say that I’m fine
With tears streaming down my face.
I say that I don’t need anyone
While I’m reaching for you.
I say that I don’t need anything
From anyone,
But that isn’t true.
What I need the most is for someone to listen,
For someone to care.
What I need the most is someone like you.
How am I to tell you?
When I am afraid,
When I am reluctant,
When I don’t know what to say?
When I can’t form the words necessary?
When it’s stuck in my throat?
When I’m too nervous to say anything?
But you see through my front.
You see through my excuses.
You see through the lies
That I told to protect myself.
You see through all of the slanted truths
That make up the armour that I wear.
You discern the truth from the fallacy,
And I thank you for showing me the light
In the darkness.