You speak to me and say "you just waste the day away"
I respond "you could've just said hey" but that's ok.
I light a smoke too your dismay
"Every smoke you have cancer will repay"
I pay you little mind as I ash on the tray
"I smoke my all days because it takes the pain away"
My train of thought you dismissed
I was too far gone in euphoria ,this bliss.
This is a lift i could've never missed.

I'm tired so very tired.
I can't believe when I was younger the thought of no sleep was a fun concept. How foolish

I didn't know about the anger fits
I didn't know about the paranoia
I didn't know about the depression
I didn't know about the memory loss
I didn't know about the voices
I didn't know about the visions

I've been awake for 5 days this week  in total last month i was awake for 2 weeks.
The micro sleeps come at the worst of times
I fear that at this rate I will reach psychosis with in the week my words no longer flow my thoughts are stuttered my relationships are under strain which only adds to the stress which keeps me awake

I've done every thing except ****** to aid me in my crusade what should I do?

The rain which gives life to the planet
The wind that caresses my face can change our world, can't it?

The laughter of a child so pure and untainted
Warms any heart puts a smile  on my face for once not painted

The birds and the insects composing the symphonies of the night
They work tirelessly from dust to first light

The sound of a heart beat so easily looked over
Is most comforting when with a lover

The suns bright rays that brighten our darkest days
Reminds us that patience is a virtue and waiting does pay

Ink on paper or bits of data, So simple so small are these things
But change are all they bring

The smallest things can make a change
From poverty to aristocracy, love to hate, loneliness to solitude, peace to pain

My thought is that down to the most basic of things we are all the same

At night I see stars
During the day I see none
But know they're there

You are on my mind
I think about our good times
Now my heart is heavy

Do not mistake my calm demeanor for indifference.
I act this way for your sake.
I act this way to keep others strong.
Ha. truthfully I act this way so I don't break .
Because if I let down this facade this wall of false confidence and blinded faults my cap will pop all my bottled emotions a suffocated dreams that I convinced myself I had buried will surface in all there pitiful glory.

Do not confuse my Belligerent tone for anger.
I'm speaking this way because I'm ashamed .
I'm speaking this way to hide my weakness.
The bigger the bark the smaller the bite right?
So if I shout louder with even more malice in my voice it won't hurt as bad.

Do not assume my placebo is a truth.
I see what I believe and relate to what I don't.
I lie to soften the blunt force of a whole truth .
I cry these crocodile tears to hide my true sorrow .

You can't believe every thing you hear but all you see right?
So I'm happy because all you see is a smile so I guess you are too happy that is.

A map is used to find direction and your current position. I find you can get all this from listening to RAP,
Now RAP is to me rhythm and poetry which can be changed to music and poetry(MAP) but we are taught that rap has no meaning in the bigger picture when in fact it paints the current picture

Now we only have our position how can this be a map? In life you find direction for oneself so how could this differ? Rap lets you know where you are so you can know where to go because life is change,
Not only to acquire fame but those who make the biggest change are the ones who are most famous, that's your direction not fame but to make change.

So we have direction and position proving RAP can be thought as a lyrical MAP