It struck me like a vacuum
Out of the love that surrounded me
it ****** it all away

I REMEMBERED...

I REMEMBERED how your breath felt against

I REMEMBERED how your lips tasted of chap stick (I was never quite sure of what kind)

I REMEMBERED the ice cream swirl of epiphanies brought about by your laugh.

I REMEMBERED "how lucky am I to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard"

I REMEMBERED crying in your arms

I REMEMBERED how we would stay up until ungodly hours speaking of life

I REMEMBERED how you showed me that I could feel.
That there wasn't just gray but rather a beautiful, wonderful, colorful swirl of pain and joy and kindness all around us.

I REMEMBERED the joking scoldings when I fell asleep

I REMEMBERED being able to complement you. When I could so "no!!! You don't look weird!!! You look gorgeous!". Then you would awkwardly try to push the complement away

I REMEMBERED how we used to talk. I was always knowing you better

Now: we are stagnant
Now: I am gray
Now: I am crying

The vacuum of remembrance
the only vacuum that gives to take away

Each moment goes past in a series of memories unfolded not without but within me. You see

A container for the memories of what we could be. When I would have told you that this burn is an evergreen would you run or flee... To me.

The burn oh evergreen. Bursting
Inferno will you, will this roast me?
If it does would I want it to be?

A line of words brittle and broken as bones... alone. Isolated. An island of paragraphs yet to be written. I’m bitten.

And yet unsure of my status, am I lost or am I found? Am I floating through the air or pounded into the ground?

If I burn then I run the risk of having to be there endlessly. You see. I would never leave you in my independency but your parents ask me potentially to leave you be.

Then again as Tyler said those T’s uncrossed and I’s undotted could leave us in a heap 10 feet from where we departed unable to justify the cost of the fight you’re right I might.

But no. If I am cast into the pit of fire and flames and maimed I could never return. Unburn relieve myself from this pain and gain or lose and loosen the noose surrounding me. Slowly emptying the space between me and me. Or more accurately the space between me and you. Eventually this could be the death of me or who I was meant to be.

In bed with a liar that I could never trust. I never want this ****** upon me because each moment, each life, each crying embrace. Laced in a web of your encased place I would never know if it was really beau and boe or just another fancy way of saying I need help and you’re the only way I can be who I’m meant to be.

It's perfect and beautiful to not be the most hilarious, joyful, kind, goofy, outgoing -- and yet still quite, beautiful, smart, thoughtful person ever for a while. After all you have to let other people shine on occasion.

I'll be here smiling while I walk beside you until you decide to want to smile too.

And on those days where you think your only option is to crawl I'll join you on the ground in the fall.

Or if you can only sit and cry for hours I'll be here holding you, making this moment ours.

I am a GOD
I am a GODDESS

the light the dark
The striving the thriving when we are apart

Me and I we reach for each other
each caught up promised one to another

It will be hard
But say yes

We fool ourselves with the small things
But joy is never foolish

You are the doorway
They the key
your friendship and love the path to light
Take it
Open the door

A tilled life of memories
That, once your gone,
You never get to enjoy

The key to the wrong door

The door to the wrong key

A smile, unseen waits on the other side

Switch keys... please?

A “to be continued”


unfulfilled

Feel my dust
slipping through my hands

Feel my dust
falling on the floor

Feel my dust
reaching for your heart

Feel my dust
being pushed away

Feel my dust
Feel my dust
It's almost gone

My time is almost gone
You left my heart there's no return
All the lines have all been drawn
Yet there's all the fire you can't unburn

I see your heart
being ripped apart

I hear your lungs
crying out for help

I feel your smiles
are all going stale

I know your eyes
are not dry now

The sands all gone
The glass layers by
and I'm almost gone

My time is almost gone
You left my heart there's no return
All the lines have all been drawn
But there's all the fire you can't unburn

I see you hear you
Feel you know you
My dust is crying
Out to hold you

Baba black sheep have you any wool?
Go sir go sir, my life’s all full

I spent it on him
And I spent it on her

And I spent it on them
and on they and on we

No sir no sir I never had time
To spend on myself
And my life’s no longer mine

Wise men say
Only fools rush in

But there’s no way
To find what can’t be found

I see your body
But fall in love with your mind

I like for a face
I love for a thought

How come
when I tell someone I love them I can never say it enough?

How come
Whenever I reach for love it keeps on taking?

How come
That taking makes me feel so happy to be loved and loving and so sad as to be inept in expressing that love

Love divorces one person from another

At first, you think you loved the person
then you realize you loved the love

Love breaks
Love tears down
Love destroys a heart and leaves it on the ground

Love separates the two --
the person loved and the other

When the loved is gone
There remains only you
and the battlefield of hearts

I wouldn't give that battle up for anything
it was a privilege to be broken by you
it was an honor to love and die
it was my joy to be the one you called late at night.
never again

A typing computer
with fingers on the other side

Fingers that are telling me
all the love they don’t have

There’s nothing I could ever say or do
To make you realize how much I love you

Life is a series of idles,
waiting for something to happen

Find someone who fills those stop-sign-breaks
with love

Thanks to you
Thanks to me
Thanks to all those in their individuality
You are enough as you are

Go get 'em mountain mover

It’s not the pronoun,

but the perception...

sleep well
sleep tight, my little light

sleep joy
sleep laughter, and kindness ever after

sleep you
sleep me, sleep all of us wes.

If you've forgotten this today remember you are not alone.

I love you. Someone loves you. WE LOVE YOU.... so much

With joyous love,
Me

Alright,
Goodnight

I've said more than my part
And now it's time for me to depart

Sleep well and sleep peacefully
and if not then at least lay there easily

Knowing that it will all be ok
You'll be there to see another, brighter day

night oh night
lull me to sleep
pull the leaves down over my eyes
and out of my mind let me keep

sleep let me clearly see
out of this darkness let me crawl
transport me towards the light
sleep. please down and cover with your shawl

What’s sleep for you?
A warm tender embrace with arms held wide? Or a octagon where winner is the one who vanquishes the other?

A beautiful face starts a beautiful day
Your a beautiful girl, oh I hope you’ll stay

I flit between acts of beauty and bliss
Every day and every night I dream of you kiss

So beauty of beauties among many and few
Oh lovely of lovelies I wish a good morning to you

A beautiful sky starts a beautiful day
A beautiful face starts a beautiful play

I flit between acts of beauty and bliss
Every morning and night I dream of your kiss

So lovely of lovelies among many and few
So beauty of beauties a good morning to you

come on tomorrow
peak through my window
don't leave me to die

come on tomorrow
magic land of my mind
loosen the noose surrounding my mind

I don't ask for much
tomorrow
just tuck me into bed tonight
enfold me in your arms
tomorrow
then maybe all my tears will run dry

tomorrow broke my heart
I was never enough for you
for you never knocked on my door

it seems like you come to me
every sunrise and morning
but it’s only today

but I don’t ask for much
tomorrow
please tuck me into bed tonight
enfold me in your arms
tomorrow
maybe then all my tears will run dry

come on tomorrow
come on tomorrow

today is today
I’m on the bathroom floor
if you could see me maybe you would die too

why’d you leave me tomorrow?

at least your in my mind

I’m just in time
To be slightly too late
You’ve left my sights
And I don’t think I can wait

You ask my to stay
And I hope and pray
But I don’t know what to do
I’ll be here for you... at least that’s my plan

Writing my soul out
Writing my tears out
Writing my thoughts out
Writing my emotions out

It won’t go out

I want my heart out
My pain out
It all to stop  
To be numb

But I can’t so I lie in bed
Unsleeping
Unmoving except to write it out

I write my soul out
I write my tears out...
And so it begins

I am ready for anything...
Except death
Why not death?
Death is the one place where an “I” cannot reside

The sunrise shattered across the discordant melodies of my mind
A sudden bursting of light and sound
Reverberating so beautifully as to cause my eyes to reach into the lakes of muck to find the clearest tear

Goodnight
Sleep tight
I wish I will, I hope I might
leave tomorrow better then tonight

Goodnight my love
Goodnight my life
But I don’t want to say goodbye

Sleep well my love
Sleep well my life
I guess it’s really time
To say bye bye

Last night I rang the sun
Do you want to know what I heard?
Life is ******* pain, aching hurt, and tears run dry it is true...
But there is so much more

Last night I rang the sun
And it replied
Life is spacious joy, night-sky contentment, and cuddle filled love
Remember always cherish what you have

Last night I rang my soul
I wish it was as forthcoming as the sun
All I hear from myself is the echos of the past and the hopes of the future
But these aren't me, but I was and could be

Last night I rang my soul
I'm waiting for a reply
While I wait I'll smile and know that life with many questions unanswered and answers now questioned is one well-lived

So, though I asked the sun and it replied
I think I'll sleep and think and wait now till my own answer comes by

Howdy doodie doo?
How are you?
What are you thinking?
What can I do?

She said to me

don’t grow too fast
Or you’ll break against
Like an elephant resting on a fence

She said to me

You’re only 15
You have a life to live
Yet you’ve given more then your right to give

She said to me

You’re in a rough spot
And it’s really no fair
But you’re no small life, yes I really do care

She said to me

You are loved
Through thick and thin
I’ll be there to wipe you’re chin or help you win

She said to me

So don’t grow up too fast
Try smiling for a while
Maybe... just maybe... it will help you in that extra mile

Well dang, sister!
Who gave you the right to be shining up my day with that face?!

Goodnight joy
Goodnight after
laughing crying dying laughter

Goodnight books
Goodnight smiles
And all my silly little whiles

Goodnight moon
Goodnight stars
I hope you sleep well in this little bed of ours

Silent night
Tired night
I breath deep
There’s no more light

Sleep well my loves
With peace and smiles
Sleep with arms full of love

To me and you and even Winnie The Pooh,

Goodnight Loves. You are enough
Goodnight Loves. You, no small stuff

Goodnight Beauties. You are great
Goodnight Beauties. Know you are no deadweight

Goodnight Joy Fillers. You're pretty slick
Goodnight Joy Fillers. Yes you're snazzedelic

I love you. You are loved

~ Love me

It’s funny how you need someone
Then they leave...
You still need them

Then one day  
You’re walking by yourself
And realize you can smile without them

Twinkle twinkle little star
Within my heart you’ve hid so far

I dig deep but not to find
All the feelings I’ve felt and left behind

With you

Starlight star bright
All my loves sleep well tonight
I wish I may I wish you might
Sleep in beds of love and light

Jack and Jill went up the hill
I’m stuck here at the bottom
I breathe deep
Out my tears weep
Maybe someday someone will ask why

I plot
I ponder
Some days I simply persist

If time dilates when one moves at high speeds
Does it contract when one moves barely at all

Thank you sun
Thank you garden
Thank you friend and piano and breath
Thank you sister
And thank you laughter
And thank you trampoline

Thank you trees
Thank you blankets
Thank you books

Thank you Hello Poetry
And love
And the ability to try again tomorrow

Thank you for my ability to smile
Thank you tears
Thank you bracelet giver

Thank you punching bag
And karate
And gloves

Thank you knuckles
and hands
and feet

Thank you legs
Thank you feet
Thank you chairs

And especially
Thank you moon
Thank you clouds
Thank you stars
I can get lost in you and lose myself

Thank you life
I appreciate you