You built a wall
Between you and I
At first with paper and string
And later with bricks
Severing our connection
Leaving not even a trace.
You shut me out of your life
Wrote me out of your story
with grim determination.
I loved you once
A mistake I won't make again.

There is a place where lovers meet,
Under an archway, twined in stone.
A solace for pain and hope,
They need to feel all is not lost.
The bridge is narrow, flimsy and halfway gone.
Paving a way for only those who dare.
They say those who kiss beneath the moonlight on that bridge,
Will find true love.

I found my love,
And waited for the star crossed lovers blessing.
I pined and cried and prayed,
For a way to be together.
We met in the center of compromise,
And still it wasn't enough.
The bridge heaved and swayed,
Moaned from the weight of a heart made heavy from unrequited love.
It sighed and gave way,
Couldnt hold the hopes of thousands anymore.

my turning point was the day
you walked into my life
and the day you walked away
I hoped you would stay
longer than a while
but all it took was a ****
and then you rushed away.

I thought you would hold me
when i was falling apart
couldn't wait for you to be
my hero and friend
you quit when i needed you
turned your back on me
walked a mile away
without a second glance.

Can't you see am crying
the tears you used to wipe
this time you just watch.
am losing all that I was
strength,courage,magic.
without you to hold my hand
guess deep down I miss my anchor
and my best frend.

I built my life on a pack of lies
Some a little shaky, others bold.
Shimmering changing lies
Defining me as they unfold.
Painting me in flourishing colors
So that i appear
As i wish.

I keep flipping your pages
And giggling aloud.
You spread a fuzzy feeling
Across my chest.
Can't stop smiling
I figure people think am nuts
But i feel alive
And for a moment
Nothing else matters
But reading you to completion.

I went from being the girl that guys like to look at,
to the girl they take home to meet mom.
You know how it goes,
out with the summer skirts and into floor sweep dresses.
Learning to home make and wear a facade.
The patient smile even when your boiling crazy,
the platitudes when your mind is a ring with sarcasm.
Now I don't have to change my walk, thank God for that,
just who I walk with and where I walk.
What can I say, am growing older.

I never knew what loneliness was,
until I found myself trapped by these walls.
Powerless, prisoner to my wants, needs, and desires.
Cursed with the knowledge of what I wanted,
but unable to do anything to get it or free me.

The archangel came in that day unexpectedly.
On a wretched Sunday evening;
when all she had done was cry
and feel sorry for herself.

They circled each other warily,
like wolves who just met and
are trying not to trespass on each others territory.

Aren’t you going to say hello? She asked.
In a moment, he replied, I’m looking at you.
Why? She threw back. Certainly took you long enough to visit again.
How have you been, he asked?
I have nothing new to say, she replied.

Michael looked at her, quiet.
Arent, you going to kiss your love hello? She asked.
If I start I won't stop. He said.
And so what? She asked.

Michael wrapped his arms around her,
pressing his lips lightly on hers.
She kissed him deeply,
tongue sliding into his mouth.
She pressed closer against him.
He pulled her in by her waist,
fusing to her body.
Tasting her, inhaling her, touching her,
watching her, listening to her, knowing her.
His soul soaring.


He held her and asked, What do you see?
Everything. Nothing.
All I see is you.
You are everything.

Wrong, he whispered.

There is nothing without US.

She stared into his eyes.
I ******* missed you, Athena.

Finally. She said. And then broke down into tears.
He turned her around; Let it out love, let it out.
I missed you so **** much. She cried
And you came here with your walls high up.
I feel locked out. I feel alone. She said.
No walls that others don’t put up around me.
You have the only key, use it.

I shouldn’t be here right now,
I came in to make sure you were ok
and just to inhale you.

Don’t ever withhold your love from me.
kiss me like the world is on fire
and we don’t ******* care.

Understand one thing.
This addiction will **** me.
I am just trying to postpone death. He said.

She whispered, I can't breathe without you.
He tilted his head, looking into her. I am the air you breathe.
She whispered. You are.
He wrapped his arms around her,
slipping her onto her back.

Hovering over her.
His wings spread out, white and beautiful.
He moved down slowly,
kissing her sincerely and lovingly.
letting his tongue press into hers,
his hand on her hip.
His heart flowing into her.

She said you have no idea how much I needed that.
She kissed him lovingly,
tasting his steadfast devotion.
She took his heart with its steady beats and gave him hers,
beating erratically. She held his face lost in his spell.

He opened his eyes to drink in every ray of light bouncing off his woman’s exquisite body.
She looked back,
absorbing every emotion on his face.

I have never loved like this before. He said.
Ever? She asked.
Ever. He said.
He kissed her passionately, wantonly, hotly.

How have we lived without each other for centuries?
I can’t take the agony, She said.
We have never been apart, in our hearts. He replied.
She kissed him fiercely, stripping away his soul and body,
loving him desperately.
I have never loved this way either she sighed.

No human has, he responded.
We are not human. We never were. She said.
He held her close. if I asked you to stay like this, with me.
Just like this, would you?
For how long? She asked.
Forever. He said.

She pulled him tight against her. Stay.
Try to tear me off you. He said.

Why do you still love me more than anyone else Michael?
I know you have had other lovers, other lives;
I know you have been on different planes throughout time. However, your heart pulls me.
Every single moment of every day.
Eventually, the pull will be the end of me.

I love you for following me throughout time.
For coming here to my prison to visit me.
For letting me find me and be me.
And for pulling me close until I can't breathe
each time you see me.
I worship you, my goddess, he whispered.
I need you. Always and forever, she said.

I have to go, he said after a while.
She kissed him tenderly,
missing him already.
Be well, and be safe.
Stay in love.
I am in this with you.
He kissed her forehead sweetly and vanished.

I always take it for granted
That you walk me home
When I come to see you.
That five minute walk
where we say things
hitherto left unsaid
Squeeze as many memories
As possibly can fit
Into the slow paced steps
Often hand in hand.
I never think about the return
You walk all the way back
Alone.
With nothing but yourself
For company.
I wonder if you think of me then.

I thought it would pass
This enchantment am under.
longing for you everyday
Yearning for something out of my reach.

I drowned it out with music
loud brash beats
Somehow became a melody
slow haunting and nostalgic.
I cried myself to sleep.

How do you live alone
Knowing you can't have love
Cause it's a shameless flirt
Dancing out of arm's reach
Wearing a coy hard to get smile.

I am besieged
by the pain of emptiness
Troubled by the despair of loneliness
for it's you I want
and yet you only appear in dreams
making me wake in a hollow symphony
More alone with the knowledge
Of you're surreal parting.

They tell us to listen to our hearts.
No one teaches us,
What the beats mean.
Whether the skips in between are ok.

They say follow your heart.
They don't teach us to follow its footprints.
Or read a map.
It's easy to lose yourself following faint tracks,
And end up lost and alone.

They don't tell you the heart leaps before it thinks,
No one ever dared question the silence.
It doesn't speak before it beats,
There are a million voices in the silence,
Asking you to take care.
It beats on and on even when you're dying,
It goes on.

He was the kind of man
You could trust your wife with
Honourable and trustworthy
The perfect gentleman.

Maybe they took him for granted
Or trusted him too much.
He couldn't believe his luck
Finally he got a shot.

When asked what changed
He said he loved too much
More than life itself
everything else was a distraction.

He said he would **** for her
And he eventually did
The over bearing husband
That wouldn't treat her right.

You tie me up in knots that are intricately woven,
lead me through the pool of tears,each step an anguished sob,
wracked from a bruised chest that is battered from pain.
Yet still I follow you to the ends of the earth, losing myself in you.
Waiting for a smile when you see it fit to really look at me,
when you notice the tired lines round my eyes from constantly watching you.
You suspend me on a string of suspense drawing me further from what I want.
I exist in an inanimate state where thoughts of you cloud all logic.
I reach for you in the dark and my fingers go right through you,
You are merely a ghost of what I need, disintegrating with each passing hour.
Am drowning my sorrows in a pool of illusions,
seeing only what I need to, feeling only what I can stand.
I lose track of what is a manipulation of my mind and what is real.
You are here with me and yet I can look right through you.
A master of deception and flattery, I am helpless to fight your charms.
I am lost in a reality full of dreams created by you.

there is a voice i hear
loud as the church's bells
calling my name
whispering promises
of a golden new day
of a time with no sorrow.

how can it be
that i would give it all up
to see that angelic face
of the melodious voice.
to see the eyes i can feel
piercing holes in my back.

i am being watched
by invisible eyes
tiny menacing eyes
following my every move
small steps ******* my own
haunted by invisible forces.

I fear what the light will reveal
that the invisible eyes can be
either friend or foe
not sure where to turn
all I can do is wish on a star
for fairies and tales
princes and knights
horses and carriages
I hope that this story ends
happily ever after.

I could probably recite the names of all the people i loved who hurt me and i wear their taste like stale food in my mouth.

Jacob who wanted intense and then broke me because turns out he didnt know what it meant.

Stephanie who wanted me to watch her husband take all the things she never gave to me even when i begged. I still see her wrack up my regrets.

Natalie who left when i needed her, after promising that we were a team and she wanted whatever form forever took.

Keith who robbed me. My dreams, my future, my peace of mind, my cash and card too.

Walter who said i was the one. Turns out the one is a diversion when marriage or the bar get tedious.

Joshua who was my first love but flew into fits of jealousy everytime i turned heads

Ken who didnt care no matter how much i wanted him to. He took my virtue my idea of love and turned it to apathy.

Some nights i feel their voices in my head telling me i was not enough, i will never be enough.

I drown them out with my tears, music and heartache until they are just an aftertaste of regrets in my memories.

Winding round the hill
Following the paved road.
As it takes twists and turns
Sometimes changing abruptly
Along came a speeding truck
A little too fast on the road
Swerving with the curves
Threatening to crash.
I am but a little girl
Taking a well known path
One that leads me home
Each and every day.
If only I stick to the side
And make way for joggers
And cyclists.
Walking and walking home.

sometimes I wear a mask
to hide my pain.
cause if you can see my eyes
soulful and liquid
you would sink in the depths
of my bottomless sorrow.
if there is no band aid
to soothe my wounds
then I need a mask
something faceless and blank
something soothing and alive
am wearing my mask
to keep me contained.

sitting under the star lit sky
watching the world go by
wondering why the moon
only comes out at night.
could it be that it is afraid
of the sun and the light
or maybe just shy
either way it's just an orb
circling round the sky
suspended by our tears
hanging by a thread
of real strong emotions
only letting the air
come between it and sky.
what I would give to be up there
alive and carefree
glowing in the night
like a big round moon
or even shine like a star.

The scary thing about dating is that you want something so badly,
Then when you get it you're confused.
See you want forever but the thought of forever freaks you out.

You can imagine being married, spending time together but mostly you wonder what happens when it's over.
You can't think of starting over without them, of forgetting them,
Of learning to be yourself again without filling your hours with them.

We imagine a relationship as a fairytale thing where you are together, understand each other.
The kind of love you find exactly when you need it and it wraps around you like a blanket and keeps you content.  
Instead the right person could come at the wrong time and we question whether they are the one.
You question if the timing really is the problem or if something is wrong with you for looking a gift horse in the mouth.

You want to talk for hours and not get bored but instead you feel self conscious,
Like maybe you're not that interesting.
You want to be all over each other but instead you fight about everything.
You think it will be ok but it gets worse and scares you.
You wonder if you are wrong for
each other.

He said he would love you and wanted to have a future with you. But you felt smothered like maybe he wanted someone available and not who you were.

Your fear magnifies into paranoia. What if it isn't enough? This love you thought would carry you through everything and suddenly its a void.
You need him and you wonder if he would understand if you told him.

And you begin to think that maybe its you who is messed up. You want too much too soon, you're too afraid to be happy.

Maybe it's time to let go of all that and let him love you. You can't plan falling in love.

She was alone
Oh so terribly alone .
She wondered who to call
If they would help or didn't care.
She was but a humble maiden
Had no delusions of grandeur.
She knew she had faults
Maybe more than the normal maidens.
She sat on her balcony
Watched the world go on.
She never went out.
Oh no she couldn't venture
Into the fold of humanity.
They were known to be picky
What if they didn't embrace her?
With her old fashioned mannerisms
And odd way of speaking.
She swung her bare feet.
Watching them move forward
And imagined she was marching
In a band somewhere.
Following music to a beat
Purposeful and deliberate.

She needed a friend
But how to go about collecting one
should she place an advert like she had seen in papers?
Or go to the fairs and wriggle her way into a group
What if they asked from whence she came?
And so she watched from afar.
admired a couple walking hand in hand
The boy pushing her hair out of her face
The girl looking up and smiling at something he said.
What she wouldn't give to feel normal.
Instead she kept house and world
Carrying the burdens of both.
For someone needed to protect humanity
From the cruelty of life.
She had a job to do
And so remained alone.

I stand alone at the door
waiting anxiously for you
I hold on to a voice
Sounding in my head
One that urges me on
When no one else does.
The view that I watch changes
basing on my thoughts.
Bright and dull ones,
many a foe are perplexed.
But most of all I feel
That I can see the rebels
Before they cross my threshold
Those that wouldn't let me
Direct their waking moments
They undermine my orders
like a couple of pesky kids
So crush them I will.
With my every thought.

I came to see you today
In a nice cream dress
Belted at the waist.
You took one look at me
Smiled and got up.
Hugged me and held me
Told me I looked beautiful,
kissed me and pushed me
Against the wall as you touched me
Took my breath away.
You pulled away and said
You just couldn't help it.
I had a silly smile on my face
You walked me home,
Hand in hand.
We took the scenic route
You didn't want the day to end
Fingers entwined
you kissed me goodbye.
Am wearing the smile now
That you left me with.

I hate how you make fun of me
When am angry at you
As if you're having a private joke
amused that I can be so mad
Saying that am so hot angry
Only makes me want to punch
Your chest with my fists
Even if it will hurt them more.
I want you to placate me
Pacify me and indulge me
Tell me you don't want me mad
Cause am yearning for affection
funny thing is it's you
That can take away the rage
I love it when you shut me up,
With a kiss.
Or hold me as I cry
(I wish)
Instead you watch me and say
What is it this time?
I just love you for loving me.

You sneak your way in
Past my guard and defenses
Place yourself center
Right next to my heart.
You direct my dreams
Pivot my entire life.
You're taking over
never liked taking back seat.
Turning my life upside down
you're full of it, you are.
Emotions are so loaded
Infusing themselves in my actions
Breaking my heart over again
Telling me yes when it's no.

I  promise that I will always love you.
I will try not to take out on you my issues
push you away cause am hurting from anything else.
I will try to remain the girl you fell in love with.
I will fight with you but wont let you sleep angry
Will offer you solace when you're sad
I promise to spoil you and be silly with you
To be that pain you like
get you addicted to me
You know you want to be
Be your lover and friend.
Cause I belong with you
You belong with me
Forever and a day more
Get you lovey dovey
make you another person
the one you need to be.
Support your dreams
lift you up when you're defeated
But most of all I will always be there when you need a friend
Or just want to talk.

I love you now.
You don't think it will last
I might move on tomorrow.
Love someone else
Forget everything we had.

My love,
Even if I loved again
I would still remember
Everything about you.
Would dream of your kisses
And crave your touch.
You were my first
you imprinted on me.
I will never forget you.

Even when I lie in our bed
With someone else
I will hold you close
You loved me first.
I will think about you
Before I sleep.
And wonder if you think about me
In your bed where you took me
Over and over again
And made me yours.

Even as I kiss him
I imagine your face
Your lips
How you look into my eyes
As you take me.
How you hold me close after.
in your bed and mine
We made a vow.
To always love.

they said he wasnt good for me
i said he was the best i had

they said he didnt love me
i said i love him enough for two

they said it wouldn't work
i said i would try my best.

they said it was a lie
i said it was the only true thing

they said he wasn't worthy
i said he was all i needed.

I know you're lying awake.
Thinking of moments you held me last.
Your heart quickens its thump,
As you remember me touching you.
We lay together in the dark so much,
Holding hands and watching stars.
That was when we fell in love.
Somehow our souls recognized each other,
Now I need you to breathe.

Losing myself
A little more each day
in trying to know you.
Letting you in
knowing I could get hurt.
You see much deeper
than most who look at me.

Crying out once more
Don't break my heart.
You have the part that matters
Just isn't enough for you.
Maybe I can't see it clear
when it's right before me.
You are wrong for this part.

Someone offered to sweep me off my feet
A series of dates to take my breath away
I wondered whether to do it
It's been a while since I let go
Gave someone a chance
To impress me.
I haven't been to fancy dinners
or to fun dog shows
Maybe I have let life pass me by
Not trusting enough
Or letting my guard down
They say the third time is the charm.
Am counting on a third date.

We are living on borrowed time
Amidst our fortunes and pain
an extension of the sand
A twist to the hourglass.
We all should have died
When the world ended .
Instead we are statistics
people that survived the fall
Plowing on through daily struggles
Lost in the quest for more
something meaningful.
Life can't be this bland
All hustle and no glory.
Someone wrote us in
And forgot to write us out.
We are merely the forgotten
Holding on to thoughts
That someday the clock
Will bring us to the end of time.

There are many firsts,
a first date.
A sloppy wet first kiss.
A first boyfriend or girlfriend.
Things you wish you could store up in a snowball.
To trap them in a place where time has no power.
Still. Frozen. Kept like figurines.

Time seems stretched out like a string,
Taut and endless, spiraling into knots and tangles.
We take what we can get.
It might be the last smile on our face.
Happy ever after,
Or the end of all we know.

So many lasts sprinkled like salt on salads,
The last time you ever saw a loved one's face.
Last time you loved.
It could be the last heartache,
But you would never know.

Time is but a lifeline to present and past.
It can be snatched right out of your hands.
Gone as fast as lightning,
Too powerful to contain in any vessel.
Time can be everything and also nothing.

Today I breathed in for 5 minutes,
pure unadulterated air that didn't hurt my throat.
I let go and felt it tickle the inside on my cheeks,

Today I felt my heart beat again,
thump thump like a bass drum.
I let go and breathed your scent in.

Today I felt tingles go through my body,
as you held me and pulled me close.
I let go and felt your heart beat against mine.

Today I opened my eyes and looked into yours,
as you kissed me and watched me through hooded lids.
I let go and kissed you back.

Today I fell in love with you,
as you fell in love with my hands and smile.
I held your hand and lay in your arms.
This is the essence of life as I breathe in your scent,
and burrow in your embrace.

Today I felt it,
the fire in my veins that burns for you.
I wanted more and more.
You gave me you and I couldn't get enough.

Today we became one.
My soul coming apart as it met yours.
I shuddered to feel so close to you.
I was yours and you were mine.

I tried to walk away but you held me,
and I was undone when I looked into your eyes.
You were everything I wanted,
I  wanted time to stop for us.

Today I fell in love again,
You kissed me and I melted.
I love you more than ever.
Just don't ever let me go.

Why is it that with you I feel so lost?
Without you so alone.
I found pieces of myself in you,
But only you can put them together.
Nothing makes sense without you,
and yet in you am a mess.
A barely lucid air head.

I find myself looking for more.
It feels like a passing whim to be here,
and let you build me.
I dream of forever and a day,
I hope for hours in your embrace.

I am lost,
But you find me each time.
I cry for you,
and you hold me near.
I think its my curse,
and destiny too.
To need you.

Dear You,
I regret coming to see you on that fateful day.
You see, If I hadn't come to your place,
We wouldn't be stuck in a rut.

Dear You,
I wrote you a letter but its illegible,
You see,my tears spilled and mixed with the ink,
My shaking hand crumpled and tore the paper,
My thoughts folded in on themselves like a deflated ball.

Dear You,
Falling for you was the most painful thing I ever did.
I fell flat on my face and hurt my chest.
My heart pounded over and over,
I got the shakes like a reforming addict,
But still you wouldn't leave my system.

Dear You,
It's pretty hard to unknow someone that imprinted on you.
You are woven into my nerves, memories and thoughts.
You took me captive and I can't break free.

You destroyed me.

Dear You,
Teach me to forget you.
Unfurl your web from my every thought process.
See,I was okay without you once.
And I can learn to be without you.

You call my name
in the throes of passion
could it be you have learned
It's me you want?
You lay bare your soul
For me to see the emptiness
You want that bond
That only seems to exist round me
In the hour that you take
Your final and last breath
You call for me and I am gone.

Find me in the wilderness
As I walk around the earth
Haunt our favorite hangouts
You might find me sitting
Under our tree waiting
or in the middle of the bridge
watching life pass round me
And through me.
Life goes on.

Walk with me in the afterlife
like you never did alive
May death Lower your inhibition
once you conquer death
There is nothing more to fear
So love me more than you thought
and honor my memory.

I should have walked away
Before I was ensnared
In your thickly woven spell
strong and bewitching.
However much I try to leave
all paths lead back to you
Tightly coiled circles
Confusing mazes
I am lost at your centre
You seem to have no room
For my pathetic addiction
I need you so bad
But you despise that
I must have been trapped
In a glass jar.

She says she tripped
She always says she did
Down the stairs
Knocked her head against the door
Even when we call her bluff
She sticks to the story.
It's the only way she knows
To cope with the pain
He hits her everyday
It's sad to watch her cry.

She thinks it's too late
No one can ever help
Not strong enough to testify
Besides who would believe?
an upstanding citizen to be a wifebeater?
He threatens to take away
The little ones if she ever tells
She cowers in a corner
Fearing for her life.
She loves her kids.

He's got her brainwashed
that he dragged her out of hell
She should be grateful
no one ever will love her.
She believes him
No sense of self worth
She thinks she is lucky
She must defend him
He only wants to make her
Happy as can be.
And so she lies everyday.

In a life that's full
There are still gaps
Of the missing things.
A little bit of everything
Seems to make a whole
But all the pieces aren't complete
in comes the duct and glue
To fit shards together
but even on the surface
it will never fit together perfectly.

come take a walk with me
down the paved paths
where the flowers grow
show me that there is love
where two stick together
comradeship and friendship.

take my hand and lead me
through the unpaved paths
teach me to find a way
even when it isn't clear
and show me that it is right
to put your happiness first.

tell me you won't leave me
to face life on my own
i need you more than before
to teach me to love
I will hold on to you
and every lesson you bring
I love thee,I love you.