Is it too much to ask
That the love lasts forever?
must it always come to end
In horrific painful ways?
I gave you my best years
and my hopes and dreams.
You desecrated my trust
Taught me what it was to hurt
So much my heart was breaking
into shards that pierced what remained.
You destroyed everything I had
You pushed me off the edge
of sanity and reason.
Turmoil fills my days
I am besieged by the pain
With every breath I take.
Why couldn't you have walked away
The very first day we met?
I wouldn't love you this much
See you in my dreams
need you everyday.
I wouldn't ache when you push me away
worry myself to sickness
over what you want and need.
I wouldn't cry myself to sleep
Curse Cupid and the fates
Am tired of loving
it only brings hurt my way.
Oh but for blessed quiet
no more panicked plans
Rushed moments and time
I want to unknow everything
I have come to know with you.

The bonds forged in pain
are real.
Laced with the spirits
Of suffering and despair.
breaking the cycle
Is something that never happens
For the bonds are reinforced
When we give someone power
Over our emotions.
You need to open the cage
And soar on your own.

I want to sweep you away
on a surge of love.
Swelling, rising, overwhelming
Escaping the confines set.

I want to whisper in your ear
How much I want you.
With me, in me. Be with me.
Tell you that I love you
More and more each day.

To lose myself in you
Be all about you
Am falling so deep
Am crazy for you.
I want to kiss your lips
Slowly, sensualy, passionately.
Touch and kiss you
Brand you with my passion
you are all I want and need.

If I could breathe you I would
I dream about you
Whispering against my lips
That you love me.
Taste me, enfold me.
Consume me.
I am yours like you are mine.

Hold me.
Stop for a moment and feel
Every sensation when I touch you
The electric tingle
When I rain kisses on your body
Beg me to take you in me
And I surely will.

Am afraid that you
Will take my pulsing heart
And tear it to pieces.
Ruthlessly
painfully
Completely dessicate it.
Cause the truth is
You dont care
What I feel.
You don't  love
Me.
I keep lying to myself
And you lead me on
Maybe you like seeing me
Lose control of my inhibitions
Follow you like a bird
Really, you're heartless.

You knew me best
I didn't have to talk
Somehow you knew
all that I needed.
You put me first
Rearranged your life for me
And that was great
I felt special.
Why did you have to walk away?
turn your back on me
Even when you saw my tears
Streaming down my face.
I still breathe with you.
I see you at the corner
And rush to find it's not you.
You elude me like a wisp of smoke
I can't touch.
I want you back
would pay whatever was asked
I dunno where to find you
Even as I continue to hope
I wasn't just dreaming.

Not a good night for insomnia
The voices, they shout!
Disgraceful things.
I knew I should have locked
The door to their cage.
But they seem to know
How to pick the lock.
They cause mischief
Those mad little monsters.
You see, they dunno they aren't real
All they do is haunt the people
that stifle them
They need to feel heard
So they rattle the doors
Of their prisons
Drag the chains on floors
those loony voices that never shut up.

In the glow of satisfaction
after we are spent from passion
I watch you dress up
You button your shirt
One at a time.
Am sorry to see the expanse of chest go
We talk
About what you want
You tell me you're addicted
To everything about me
Don't mind being a Slave
To my every need.
I hug you
Try to fit myself as close as I can
Hoping to block out the loneliness
you are like a healing balm.
I wish you could stay
Hold me close all night.
Cover my face, palms, shoulder
with drops of little kisses.
I want you to stay
some night, every night.
with you am losing the pain
I like how you invade me.

What is it about the unattainable that makes us want it so much more?

On that rainy day in January,
I saw you standing in line,
Waiting to pay
For the book.
You know the one.
It's been whispering sweet promises
In my ear.
How it will be the best I ever have
It will imprint on me.

I tried to resist the allure
But it's elusiveness pulled me in
Like coiling tendrils
Of immeasurable strength.

I dreamt about that book
Waited for it to come to that store
And there you were
Buying the only available copy.
I knew then
That I wanted you both.
I followed you out
Having a witty dialogue in my head
You would be snared by my charisma
I would get my book.
You stopped at a black car
The passenger door opened.
Out stepped Delilah
the woman that kills dreams.

Sometimes I want you so bad
It's an uncontrollable flame
building higher than expected
I lose control
of my inhibitions and reason
Everything around you blurs
You capture my dreams
Change them to include you
Why can't I think straight?
Heartbeat racing
Pupils dilating
'Kiss me please ,' I whisper.
Touch me
In the most sensual of ways
Violate my senses
Invade my heated moist flesh
Pulsing
For your touch
Kisses
Warm flickering tongue
Pleasuring me
I moan in abandonment.
If this is heaven
I want to die here.

I knew I loved you
from the first time we met
It was magical
Everything seeming to fall in place
Our selves fitted like a puzzle
You embracing  me as I absorbed you
I wanted to freeze that moment
Wanted forever with you.
Never knew it could hurt
Like silver melting in my veins
Painful heated agony
Of you not wanting this
You couldn't even try.
You say you love me
But if love is only pain
I would rather walk away on coals
than be locked in this furnace.

We are living on borrowed time
Amidst our fortunes and pain
an extension of the sand
A twist to the hourglass.
We all should have died
When the world ended .
Instead we are statistics
people that survived the fall
Plowing on through daily struggles
Lost in the quest for more
something meaningful.
Life can't be this bland
All hustle and no glory.
Someone wrote us in
And forgot to write us out.
We are merely the forgotten
Holding on to thoughts
That someday the clock
Will bring us to the end of time.

Am tempted to ask why?
why bad things happen.
Sometimes more than
We could ever imagine.
How to cope with loss?
What to do when you can't go on
Curse?  Rave?  Rant?
Blame fate or God?
Breakup with God?
truth is I don't have answers.

I can't read you
It's like trying to fly
Or see through concrete.
Cause you are confusing
Sending signals here and there
Today you want me
Tomorrow let's be friends.
You miss me
You wanna be friends.
You ***** with my head
Make me scream.
Just face the truth
You want me not over you.
Pretty selfish you know.

Have you ever been disappointed?
Like really utterly surprised
By this person you love.
They steal your heart
Build dreams with you
Make you believe it's perfect
You found everything you want
They seem too good to be true.

Have you ever been confused?
So utterly confused
Questioning yourself
about choices you have made.
Why you were so gullible
Letting someone break you
When you love someone
Should you give them everything?
or hold some part back?
knowing you will be hurt.

I don't know where you end
And I start
It's all a little blurry
you see, you infected me
With a dose of you.
I see you in every hue.
Want you need you breathe.
You splatter my life with color
Shades of red blue you!
I can't go a day
Without my love
He hides in the recesses of
My memory and haunts me.
We are bound forever
Even when he breaks my heart.

I want to be someone else
For a day, or more, or less
Just forget all my troubles
Take on another life
One filled with passion
happy memories and hours.
Not have to worry about
Pain,  deception, distress.
wake up to adventure
be someone new.
And just gobble life whole.

We started out wanting the same things
now am not so sure.
You don't seem the same
Am different for sure
You don't call me
I don't sit waiting for your call
I grew up
Realized you don't want
To treat me right and make me happy
I just am not a priority
It's time I moved on.

I always take it for granted
That you walk me home
When I come to see you.
That five minute walk
where we say things
hitherto left unsaid
Squeeze as many memories
As possibly can fit
Into the slow paced steps
Often hand in hand.
I never think about the return
You walk all the way back
Alone.
With nothing but yourself
For company.
I wonder if you think of me then.

I wish I could be
With you all the time.
Just drink you in
Like a dose of drugs
Addictive pleasurable drugs.
And have you plant on me
Little butterfly kisses .
In your arms I am taken
To paradise.
I miss you
So much my love.

I want to create something new
           from dust and ashes.
A masterpiece never before seen
            not a copycat idea.

Everyone dreams of greatness
            to be the best in a field.
But there isn't room for more
             not every star shines the same.

There are the natural ones
            Already shining
                    Bright.
Those that you have to peer
     Into the sky for a while.
   Lose yourself in thoughts
Find your hopes and dreams
see where you are meant to be.

Every new creation and idea
Was there in the beginning
                  Smaller
            Insignificant
  but existent in it's capacity .
   It's watered and nurtured
Like a new born babe prepared
for the life the parents want.
  Better than what they had.
  Children are a way of living
Life in a newer more creative way.

The pain
        The agony
Like learning to live again
Without everything you love.
The nightmares
         The horror
of everything black and blue
Grey and brown hues.
Reality zooming in
           Dreams phasing out
Oh but for alternate reality
to have what I badly want.
The noise
       The silence
I would give for explosions
and implosions too.
The chaos
         The order
It's a bundle of contradictions
Scattered in the recesses
Of my mind.

It is now in the stillness
When the crickets chirp
That I need you most.
Awake and lonely at night
thinking of how you;
Look at me
Touch me
Kiss me.
It drives me insane.
I crave you next to me
In being with you,
I come alive.
Hold me
                      Tight
                     Tighter
So that where you end and I begin
Is a mere blur of the senses.
I am overwhelmed by space
-your space
You write your way in
Like a reality television script
You belong here
Among the folds of my day
For you are the clock
That ticks me through a day
Your absence lingers
Like a persistent fly
I can feel it
You're not here.

Today I tried to leave you
I mean actually go away
I packed all my things
Walked out the door.
Got myself another place
Cleaned it out and unpacked.

but then I began to long
For the sound of your voice
Yearn to be in your arms.
Am hopeless without you
You are everything I need
To fill my days with laughter
to drive me mad with anger
At the end of the day
It's you I need.

I have done things in your bed
Shameless wanton things
That make you moan
And when I close my eyes
I feel your sensuous lips
On my heated skin.
I call your name over and over
and still we want more.

You know I will wait here
On the breath of promises
That you made to me
In the cold night air.

         I will wait for you
     On a thousand wings
         Keeping me afloat
    Among the angel voices.

This is a virtual reality here
Where we meet as we please
Each time you choose a different avatar
Adonis, Achilles, Apollo.
Always Virile and breathtaking
You are worth it all and more.

Someday you will return to me
Like summer or winter
For you are my soulmate
Bound to me in truth and hope
one day time will be ours.

I remember when we wrote our names
In an interwoven ring
Bound together by promises
Made before crowds.
standing fast to dreams
Of a life together.
We wrote our names in ink
Strong and clear then
Now faded and faint.
Dreams shattered
Life goes on.

In a life that's full
There are still gaps
Of the missing things.
A little bit of everything
Seems to make a whole
But all the pieces aren't complete
in comes the duct and glue
To fit shards together
but even on the surface
it will never fit together perfectly.

The night plays it's melody
Soothing and enchanting
Luring you into a spell
A false contentedness.
Where you need your sleep.
I trudge slow
I still want to be up
Listening to your sweet voice
Having you telling me sweet nothing's
making my heart warm.
All I want is all night with you
To keep you up and love you
In every possible way.
The day's hours don't seem enough
for our loving.
Enchant me again
with your lips and touch.
Butterflies at your bidding
I want it all with you.

Last night you made me
Lower my inhibitions
Let you in.
I looked into your eyes
And saw everything.
You kissed me and I melted
Felt my worries fading away
I couldnt think straight
I was overwhelmed by you.
The way you hold me and draw me close
the way you moan when I touch you
You give yourself over completely
I must have done something right.
I keep falling for you
You intrigue and excite me
We are so natural together
Cruel that you have to go.
I will be waiting for your return
To kiss and hold you
To lie in your arms and tall
To drive you crazy with me
I want you to know
you're special to me
In every single way.

You don't define me
But simply refine me
Letting me grow stronger
Find my feet and totter
You offer your shoulder
for when I need to hold on.
You were made for me
Or maybe Cupid was awake
He saw my desires.
It was fated to be this
more than just a fling.
When you hold me close
I could swear time stops
Cause I lose myself in you.
Recklessly,abundantly
Give myself over to you
Your embrace and caress
Sending shivers through me
I tremble with passion
For all of you,more of you
I could almost scream your name
You are invading my senses.
I like what you do to me.

We dont take no for an answer
We the sirens of the seven seas
We mark our territory
we claim who we want.
We were here first
in a land of magic.
Until the darkness came
It swallowed everything we knew
The water was our guard
It washed away the vicious dark
And what remained of the battle
Were pieces of land.
Soon people came to live
Close to the sea.
They had nice men
We were only female.
the men forged boats
To explore the water
We reeled them in
Imprisoned them in dungeons
they were under our spell
Honeyed voices wove.
They were willing slaves
We were seductive mistresses.
we had intense ******
Made more of our kind.
Their life force fostered our kind
As they died out.
The more we made babies,
the more men that died.
We needed more of them
We cast a spell.
That men will go from one to another
always searching for better
in the end only we
Their desires can satisfy.

He upped and left.
Like a thief in the night.
Dunno if he made plans
To tiptoe out as I slept.
You took nothing and yet everything
for you left with all I had to give
heart, hope and dreams
Shattered my soul
Never would I be trusting
with the key to my core.
You enticed me from the start
Lured me with a siren song
****** the life out of me
Like an enchanting Succubus
I guess this was the start
Or maybe the end
Of my wretched downfall.

You carry my heart on a whim
I wear yours on my sleeve
But what I really do want;
Is you.
To whisper in my ear
And hug me tight
In the cold chilly night.
As we walk to the forked road
There you take the left path
And I remain still
Watching, wondering
do I go with him or away?
one thing is for sure
It's hard to watch you leave
I want all night with you.
To kiss you all over
and make sweet promises.
Be your sensual siren
Lure you in with my beauty
I want a willing slave
Just say yes and take me.

You sneak your way in
Past my guard and defenses
Place yourself center
Right next to my heart.
You direct my dreams
Pivot my entire life.
You're taking over
never liked taking back seat.
Turning my life upside down
you're full of it, you are.
Emotions are so loaded
Infusing themselves in my actions
Breaking my heart over again
Telling me yes when it's no.

How I feel for you
Keeps changing each time.
When you hurt me,
I like you a little less.
Then you surprise me
And I want forever again.
it's a cycle from oblivion to craving.
you're what I need,
get me a fix.
And yet I want more, more.
Everytime you hold me
I ask for more.
when you touch me
You drive me to moan.
I ache for more of you.
we fit perfectly like pieces
That once were together.
Maybe we are meant for this
Filling each other's lives.

You love how I dress up for you
All skin and heels.
Making a pirouette
Striking a pose.
You call me your Muse
Because I inspire naughty thoughts
From the depth of your soul
I drive you crazy with desire
All you want is to hold me tight
and have your way with me
Sometimes I tease you first
Drive you to the edge
I like playing with you
Cause I see how much more
you're dying to have me.

Of all the things I gave up
You hurt the most.
I needed you day by day
You were my walking cane
Helped me through each step.

But you threw it all away
Stopped caring for me.
For how was I to know
Your interest had waned?
You couldn't tell me to my face.

If you do love me
How is it that you hurt me
Time and time again?
It's like you don't care
About my needs and pain.

And so I set you free
You don't owe me anything
If you have somewhere to be,
Go.
Just stop breaking my heart
I deserve better.

Good things come to an end
Not to those who wait.
You can't freeze moments
However much you treasure them
The best you can do is savor
Everything while it lasts.
I had you and loved you
Did everything to make you smile
wasn't enough and you left
Grew weary of my company
I guess I was stupid
I expected forever from this.

We all make mistakes
Cause we aren't all knowing
Can't avoid the bumps
Of things foreseen.
It's not to end to lose control
Life can't fit in a box
That you tape and close.
There are ugly ghosts that escape
Like wisps of smoke
etch their way into reality
ruin your dreams and hopes
Tantalise you with whispers
Of what could be.
Allow yourself to live
Forgive yourself for trusting
And keep on loving
With all your heart.

Here is where it all began
At the precipice
Facing all my dreams.
Glistening like water down below
I know I won't be hurt by them
If I hold my breath and dive
Feet-first into the depths
I can test the waters there
with my legs.
Still I am paralyzed with fear
What if I stumble and miss?
Hit my head on the rocks?
I won't get up again
will be as good as dead.
But a little voice whispers
'Let go and fall.
I promise to catch you'
And so I shut my eyes
Spread my arms like wings
and plunge headfirst into the abyss.

He made me his Muse
Scared the hell out of me.
How would I live up to it?
The expectations he has
Some unreal and huge.
Am only human
Not the angel you see
You painted my portrait
I looked like a perfect girl
all goddess and flawless
You have to look beneath
What you want to see
And embrace the mortal me.

Don't mess with my heart
When you dunno your mind
It will only break me
Don't you dare hurt me.
Don't speak sweet nothing's
They only make me listen
And then begin the lies
I really hate those.
Don't hold me
When you're leaving
It will only make me yearn
For forever starting Tonight.
You wormed your way in
Made me feel safe
Now you're different
not so much love as before
You take me for granted
turn me upside down
I want to scream
I need to get out.

Winding round the hill
Following the paved road.
As it takes twists and turns
Sometimes changing abruptly
Along came a speeding truck
A little too fast on the road
Swerving with the curves
Threatening to crash.
I am but a little girl
Taking a well known path
One that leads me home
Each and every day.
If only I stick to the side
And make way for joggers
And cyclists.
Walking and walking home.

The very walls I built
To keep the clutter out
Suffocate me daily
Shutting me in with my thoughts
Questioning my decisions
testing my patience.
Was I wrong? Or right?
Have I added to my mistakes?
Will I wake up tomorrow?
The burden overwhelms me
I fear that I will give in
To the heartwrenching fear
Of the unknown.
A weight settles on me
Bearing down on my chest
I heave breath after troubled breath
who knows if it's my last?
I prepare myself for death
Sink into nothingness below
For there are no worries
nothing but stillness.
No,I will not let the reaper close
But how to deal with my pain
That is anew everyday
I find fault with the sun and moon
No one to distract me
From these savage insecurities
hounding at my door
am I pretty enough? Strong?
can I do it? Will I succeed?
it seems I am doomed to doubt
Trapped by inequities
and someday I just hope
These walls will be solace
And not my jailer.

Kiss me
When you see me looking forlorn
Cause I miss you so much.
Write me
Long old-fashioned letters
Full of sweet nothing's
All I want in the end
Is you here with me.