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Mia May 2014
Somehow it hurts so much,
To breathe.
To think.
To live.
You took the parts that were mine and corrupted them.
Everypart protests at having to work without you.
Each minute drags as though gasping for a fresh start.
I miss you.
From when i wake.
Every hour my eyes stay apart.
I miss your smile, your touch.
It hurts more than i ever imagined.
Somehow i lived before you,
But now i cant remember how to.
I need you yet i pushed you away.
You were dredging the last bits of my sanity out.
I need to find a part of me you didnt take.
I wish i could unlove you and forget giving myself to you.
It has been my undoing.
And now i am sinking in the abyss of your absence.
You broke me.
The tiny parts you linked together.
Now all that's left are regrets that masquerade as my life.
Mia Apr 2014
I knew I was lost the first time you kissed me.
You held me so close and I knew you were my last.
My heart stopped a bit, then fluttered to catch up with yours.
I wanted more but wasnt ready to let go of my inhibitions.
Something so pure turned bitter pretty soon.
Your insecurities and mine too drove us apart.
Seeing your name gives me pain,
Cause you were my all and I want that to end.
You broke me into pieces that can't be fixed.
And I need you yet I dont want to;
I want you yet I shouldnt.
I can't stop loving you.
Why wont you leave my heart?
Mia Apr 2014
Scars

One. If I could, I would nail these hands to the edges of sky. I would sacrifice this body to the earth, hoping to resurrect someone that doesnt have the heart to  care about you anymore.

Two. Staple me to a table. Pierce my side with your broken promises and I will bleed all the pathetic reasons why you deserve one more chance.

Three. Loving you was the last thing that I put my all into.

Four. You wanna know how I got so bitter? Well, I ripped every last piece of you in my heart and soul and all that remained was regrets that you didn't care.

Five, I whispered you into my dreams.

Six, I spoke you into my heart.

Seven, I dipped my hands in a future that didnt exist, I touched you until you were imprinted on my very soul, treated you as if you were the only molecule of oxygen I needed ; I was good to you.

Eight. You wanna know how I got these scars? Well, I cut out my pride and then it crawled it’s way out of my mouth and I begged you to make me happy.

Nine, I realized that I was never really your girlfriend, I was just your ******* convenient-temp.

Ten, I hope your next girlfriend gets stds.

Ten, Yes I said stds.

Ten, I really hate you.

ten, I never want to see you again.

ten, I still love you. Wish I didn't.

ten, it’s hard for me to keep count when I get emotional.

Ten I heard that over 90% of human interaction is not verbal..so.. I guess the signs were right. You don't want me. You don't need me.

Ten, if I could, I would tie your arms to a wish and then auction you off to my best and worst memories. To the random girl who will start dating my ex boyfriend two days after we broke up (yes, I know you're going to move on real fast.)
When I realized that you were in a relationship with the one guy that I thought I would someday spend the rest of my life with, I broke into a million pieces. I said to myself, “Kevin Hart would say he wasn't man enough for you. Or you weren't good enough for him."
I swore I would never love again, it was all a joke to you. Some twisted game you won.

One: Everytime I see you with girls in a picture, I want to take my entire arm, shove it inside your phone and smack the happiness right off of your face.

Two, if I ever see you around me, I’m probably going to punch you in the throat. Or forget I ever knew you.

Three, I apologize in advance. And I know, I know that it makes no sense to have this much anger toward a man that I love with every bit of me,but my definition of love isnt being stabbed in the heart over and over as you watch me bleed out and hope that this time it won't hurt. There is nothing
logical about putting the most important parts of yourself inside hands that can't support you and shake, tremble, and drop you.

Four, there is nothing rational about love. Love freaking hurts. It lies. It leaves you wishing you had never met the person who makes you fall over and over and breaks you till you are a mess that can't be fixed.

Five, you're ******* irresponsible, and I’m tired of you using me for target practice.

Six, I was told that time heals all wounds. But what exactly should I do on days when it feels like my clock stopped cause you're gone?

Seven, you always said I loved you too much. My mistake.

Eight, I think I’ve seen you somewhere in her dreams. Like I’ve heard you talking to her and being happy together in her laughter. I’ve smelled your cologne on her thighs. Cause am sure you will be all over her like you can't be for me. I bet if we dusted your heart for fingerprints, we would only find hers. I wasnt the love of your life.Nine, you see I have this envelope in my head and heart.it’s full of all the butterflies I felt the first time you touched me, kissed me, admitted you loved me. It's full of memories for when I thought we had a future. Most of them are still alive. I can still feel their wings through the paper. Guess it's my hope. Here, am giving them back to you. I suppose they belong to you, too.
Mia Apr 2014
I want to come home to you.
To come and walk into your waiting arms.
To lie with you and tell you about my day,
Get you to talk about yours.

I want somewhere to call home.
A place where I can feel safe.
It's only around you where I relax and let go,
You could say you're my happy spot.

I want to end my days with you,
Wake up with you.
Know that you are coming to me each day.
Let's build a home together.
Mia Apr 2014
It's been 10 hours since we broke up,
I still can't bring myself to admit it's for real.
You said you want me out of your life and I didnt even put up a fight.
I simply bowed out and left you.
See am tired of fighting for this;
Of telling you am for real.
Proving myself to you and yet you still question me.
Tired of your interrogations,
Of answering for what I do and say.
I knew you were the one and I gave it all to you.
But I still wasn't enough.
So i guess this is it.
All I have left are regrets.
Gosh I wish I could block you out and the pain.
It's tearing me apart that I cant text you, call you, hug you.
I will always love you.
Just you.
I meant those words.
Mia Mar 2014
I let you see me.
Not just my hair and clothes but all of me.
You saw into me and underneath my facade.
My insecurities and scars.
You told me I was perfect.
You're a liar.

How could you take that intimacy and turn it into an instrument of torture?
Did you wake up mean and cruel or maybe I just ignored the signs?
That you were shallow.
And you only cared what your friends thought.
You're a liar.

You wove beautiful fantasies of you and I eloping.
You told me I was in line with your destiny,
You were open and persuasive,
I fell for every bit of it.
I forgot.
That you're a liar.

I thought you had more to offer,
A life of happiness together.
But you're all wrong for me,
Someone else's model trying to make me into something less than I am.
I should never have tried.
Cause you're a liar.
Mia Mar 2014
I want the kind of love that's seen in movies.
Where you sweep me off my feet in a whirlwind affair.
I want you to serenade me with coldplay songs and buy me roses to apologize for hurting me.
I want you to run all the way to my place in the middle of the night just cause you realized you can't go another second without me.
I need you to tell me what you feel without holding back.
But guess it's meant to be a whimsical wish,
You just don't care enough to make me happy.
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