Am not going to run after you,
I deserve more than that.
I want someone that feels lucky
To have me around them.
You don't call me, you don't text.
All you do is watch me pace.
Wearing myself out trying to meet you
Somewhere between you and I.
Why don't you tell me now,
This isn't what you want.
I can feel it even now,
You're slipping away, weren't even mine.

Why did you lure me in?
Spinning promises and paradise.
You could have saved us the time
Taken to hurt each other.
Actually am the one that got hurt,
You were quietly indifferent.
Seeming to be happy even as i walked away.
It wasn't meant to careen out of control
But it did
And now am broken.

If you ever had a heart, leave.
To save me from insanity.
I hate what you have become.
Pain and anguish to my soul.
Walk out that door,
Don't ever come back.
I can't bring myself to walk away,
So please leave.

I can't tell if we are friends,
I can't tell if we are more.
You hold my hand and walk me home.
You don't hug or kiss me goodnight.
the hours build up to a crescendo
Where am with you.
I long to be with you more.
You text me goodnight,
And it stretches out to hours.
Where none wants to let go.
I study you when you're not looking.
Does he secretly want more?
Should i cross the threshold?
But you go on taking midnight walks with me,
And talking into the wee hours.
You keep your distance,
Nothing fazes you.
You asked me today,
What i wanted in a guy.
Am still rewriting that.

The last time i hugged you,
You held me so tight and breathed me in.
I felt cherished, i got tingles.
I wanted to build myself a nest
Right there in your arms.
You let go.

I felt the loss of something i didn't even know,
Escaping from my heart and soul.
I know you needed it,
The soothing balm from my hug,
Like i needed to hear you breathe,
Listening to what you feel.
I need you to need me,
I always have.

I drifted into love today,
Falling ever so slowly .
Drowning ever so helplessly
As i look into your eyes.
Searching for something i can not name.
Do you love me like you did before?
I hope to hear your soul call out to mine and join me in an embrace.
where i lose myself in you.
I need you to keep my head up,
When nothing makes sense.
I want to take a day and just lie in your arms listening to your heartbeat.
With my head on your chest, your fingers running through my hair,
I want to feel you close to me.
I long to feel my breath sync with yours as our hopes and dreams merge.
I miss you, everything about you
That made me love you.

As a child, i was cured of curiosity
For i learnt it was a painful friend.
I saw her turning mom into a monster
Who only cared for herself.
She caked her face in creams and disdain,
And trotted off in gucci and hermes.
She ceased to call me princess,
And i became a pesky brat.

I was cured of Faith too,
When daddy didn't come home one day.
Where was he, i wondered?
Did he find somewhere special?
Was he in heaven?
If there was a heaven he wouldn't have gone without me.
I withered and folded losing my lustre and life.

I was cured even though i wasn't ill,
Of love and hope and dreams.
It wasn't unconditional like i wanted.
The expiry date was all too soon.
I knew i wouldn't last a day
In the world without my prescription,
And so i died in order to live.