I know am supposed to be over you
But i can't help it
That my subconscious longs for you
Even though you hurt me
With each word you say.
Why can't you let me be me?
The girl you knew once
The one you fell in love with.
Quit trying to control me
Am unpredictable at best
You wouldn't get me either way.
I thought you had accepted me
Human and flawed,
Making mistakes at every turn.
But no
You get mad when i don't do as you say.
So am done trying for this
It never will be ok.
Just go now,
When am still strong enough
To let you go.

I built my life on a pack of lies
Some a little shaky, others bold.
Shimmering changing lies
Defining me as they unfold.
Painting me in flourishing colors
So that i appear
As i wish.

I have tried for you
To wear a smile, to shine a light.
It's not so hard when you're here
To hold my hand.
I have cried for you
A thousand tears as the sun sets
Bitter painful tears.
I have pried myself away
Hoping to stop the pain.
But its you i want to hold me.
You i want to wipe my tears.
Only you.
Who draws me out.
Who i could watch for hours.
Whom i love.

This bed feels strange
Without you here.
And i would give up all this space
To have you near.
All this emptiness
Only makes me ache.
Cause its raining and am alone
I need your arms around me.
I wish you could come
To hold me close.
Nothing feels so good
Nothing ever could.
I need you more, in this cold.
Someday you will be here.

I keep flipping your pages
And giggling aloud.
You spread a fuzzy feeling
Across my chest.
Can't stop smiling
I figure people think am nuts
But i feel alive
And for a moment
Nothing else matters
But reading you to completion.

I sit here
Listening to the haunting melody
As she sings our song.
I imagine you here
By my side singing along.
It feels wrong to listen to the music
We used to love
And listen to together.
I miss you so much.

I want you to remember,
That day in December
When we went away together.
To spend time with each other.

We were miles away
From everything that needed to be distanced
I needed to be with you,
You wanted me.

We took a picture together
In a cafe where strangers leave a mark
To show they were here
Nowhere and somewhere.
If someday we lose each other,
Remember to come here
I will be watching
I will be waiting.