Can't you see that i love you?
I swore i would die for you.
My heart breaks
That you can't be here with me.
I feel your absence with every breath
It hurts to be without you.
You haunt me in the silence
I long to be by your side.
You complete me and i You
And now that you're gone
Pieces of me disintergrate everytime i breathe.
I hope you are thinking of me
Maybe somehow we can meet
In the collision of our thoughts
As you remember me.

The cold permeates my bones
Seeping in and branding me
With loneliness and pain.
Teasing me and aggravating me
With your harsh breeze.
I wish he was here
To hold me and block you out
He makes the loneliness fade
If only for a while.
He makes me alive
With bits and pieces of us
Perfectly fit together.
He whom i will always love.

Its raining anger and betrayal
Hard pelting rain drops
That drown the sound of laughter
I am lost and forlorn.
Seeking shelter under the covers.
This bed feels cold without him.
I remember earlier times
When we crawled under the duvet
And cuddled to keep warm.
I miss his arms around me
Bodies fitted as close as possible.

I don't want to leave this room
Unless he is waiting downstairs
With a warm shrug and hug.
This weather was made for this
Him to hold me close.
So that am not alone.
He always excites me
With his arm draped over my shoulder
I long to rest my feet on his laps
And let him play with my toes.
He makes it impossible to be cold
As i shiver in delight.

I know am broken
A little bit
A heck of a lot.
I know i am
I feel the pain
Building into a crescendo.
Needles drawing out threads
As i unfurl into folds
Trying to breathe
Pushing back the tears.
Why must i hurt this way?
Aching to my very soul.
I can't sleep as i think of what i don't have
I can't feel from trying to block out the pain
I am alone and empty.
Dying everytime i breathe
As waves of pain engulf me
Numbing me to the core.

I tried to love you
With every bit of my soul.
But it wasn't enough, i wasn't.
I gave you glimpses of me
The me i kept locked away from everyone else
Vulnerable, broken, needy.
You simply turned and walked away
And like a broken clock am stuck on you.
Your face and smile
Your warm embrace.
You cut me to pieces with your indifference
And still i yearn for you.

If you ever love another
Out of respect to me,
Do not bring her
To the house you bought for you and I.
If she should make it to our home
Do not carry her over the threshold
like you did me.
If you carry her into our home
Do not place her on our bed.
The one where you made love to me
where we dreamed of making life
A daughter for you to spoil
A son for me to be proud of.
If you make love to her in our bed,
Turn the light's off
That she may not see my soul
Screaming in agony
That she may not see my pictures
Still hanging on the wall
That she may not know i live
In your heart even though am gone.

Dear Emmeline
I am writing to you from a hole,
from a place carved into cave
Sinking into an irredeemable apathy
into a very sickly depression.
I am asking for a hand, for this:
Reach for me,from this deep pit.

Edgar dear,
I am searching all the crevices i know.
Could this be the depression
That snatches unsuspecting souls?
And keeps for itself so it doesn't have to be alone?
I will not rest until i retrieve your troubled mind,
From it's depths and darkness.