I have loved you. Many versions of you actually. There was the boy that danced away with my heart the first time i danced. It was a star lit night and I felt like the music was meant for just you and I. We waltzed to the strains of our heartbeats pounding in unison as you breathed in my nervous breaths and i breathed in your confidence.You knew what to say, you led me on a merry chase. I had the best first dance and you walked away without a second glance. I loved the friend that always had a hug for me too. Whenever I felt sad or alone you dropped everything and came to my rescue. You were the knight to my damsel and I was giddy when you held my hand. You held me close and kissed my hand like a gallant gentleman. Again you walked away when I was safely in my tower.
I miss the lover that stole my breath and replaced it with passion. I could only think, dream and want you. You took my mind ransom and intertwined my soul with yours. I was helpless to escape your embrace. You enchanted me with serenades and promises of forever. I vowed to be yours every day in every way. You left me at the altar. You were a misty dream that assaulted my senses. I can still feel you here. You are a part of my memories, a clinging vine that never sways with the wind. I have loved you from the start, all of you. Even now that my sanity is slipping away because I can not bear the pain, I can surely say that I have loved.

Don't tell me to let go
Cause you don't understand
The sacrifices I have made
To be here with you.
Stop for just one second
Did you love me at all?
Or were you just a spoiled child
going after what you couldn't have?
Don't try to spite me
Let's not pretend you care
If I go off the rails
And overboard with this rage.
You did this to me
Broke me in small pieces
Gave away all I cared about.
I hate you even more than before
Drowning in the pain
The water rising above my head
Can anyone hear me?
Am losing myself
You're killing me inside.
So am dead to the goodness
You did this
And now your dancing on my grave.
Am but a ghost of who I was
You ****** out my life
And left this shadow that's not real.

Someone out there is waiting
To give you a hug.
Show you that there is more
Than just pleasure and pain.
If it didn't work in the beginning
there is a chance to go on.
Build memories on concrete
Instead of on air.
You don't have to believe
in promises made with broken string.
You can't play on a stage
After the curtains come down. But there will be another show
a chance to do things right.
someone cares that you weep
Late at night as you lie in bed.
Fighting against the will
To give up everything you need
Trying to be strong
you can't afford to let go
Of hope that it will be okay.
One day you will find someone
that lets you grow into you.

I want to know you
Like the back of my hand.
Trace the lines of your face
And etch them into my memory
Like an ink painting on canvass
mapping you perfectly
As curves and lines so fine.
I see you when I close my eyes
Kissing me
Touching me
Loving me.
There isn't anywhere
I would rather be
Than in your arms.

Listen
to the voice inside
Telling you that it's not impossible
to love again.
You have seen pain
But if you gave it another day
There could be more than that.
It's not supposed to hurt
As much as it does.
It will fade to a dull ache
and be less than a pinch.
Wasn't built to last
This thing called pain.
It springs from within
and needs to be driven.
It will come to pass
In the dawn of a new day.
Things done in secret
to stem the flow of energy
bubbling over and pushing
For an outlet.
It started out as an accident
and now it's here to stay.
you were hurt badly before
and now you don't want
To let go and love again.

The pain you feel each day
Keeps building up to a peak
Until everything hurts.
You try to lose yourself
In other people's company.
Sink into a personality
That isn't even your own.
Trying to end the pain
of ten thousand swords.
Words cutting deeper
Than any sharp edged blade.
You said you needed him
To make the pain stop.
You need to draw strength from within
Only you can stop the pain.

I wonder if it's time
To let you go.
Cause you don't want to stay
You keep leaving me all alone.
I wait for you by the stairs
Hoping you will come home tonight
I wither and droop
And still you're not here.
It's like you walked away already
and just keep looking back.
Cause even when you're here
Feels like you're miles away.