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Mia Feb 2013
If only you could be
That guy I see in some places
Who wears his heart on his sleeve
Not afraid to tell me
He loves me more than anything
Someone that will hold me
In the middle of the street.
kiss me when his friends are watching_
hold my hand as we sit in a restaurant
And be all over me.
Mia Feb 2013
Why won't you try
To give this everything
And make it work.
Somedays I cry my heart out
Waiting for you to see me
And understand what I feel.
You hurt me with your indifference
cold hearted nonchalance.
Like whether I leave or not
Life goes on.
I ask myself
Does he even care?
or am I simply too available
A means to a starving end.
I need you to show me
You're human too
Be vulnerable and open up
I don't want to hurt you, just love you
But you won't even let me.
Mia Feb 2013
You drive me to the depths
Of despair, sorrow, pain.
I seek release
Drowning out the emptiness
Filling my belly with *****
Cold frothy alcohol
that brings blessed oblivion.
You push me off a cliff
And I soar
into the blissful world of needles
It's the jump I need
To get me going again.
And then my other friend,
The trusted blade.
My wrists engraved
with stories of tears and blood
Heartbreaks stacked like cards
Broken promises and dreams
I think that sharp pain
Will block out the numbness
From aching in the cold
day and night.
You slowly lead me to my death.
Mia Feb 2013
I want to know
that it will be okay.
I won't have to hurt
or be alone.
That you will walk with me
Stick by my side like a shadow.

I want to know
You will love me back.
Even when you don't get me
And I don't get you.
Love should be about two people
that want to be there for each other.

I want to know
that you won't leave.
Even when you're mad at me
I need you each day
I want you more than can be possible
I want to make you happy.
Mia Feb 2013
I love you now.
You don't think it will last
I might move on tomorrow.
Love someone else
Forget everything we had.

My love,
Even if I loved again
I would still remember
Everything about you.
Would dream of your kisses
And crave your touch.
You were my first
you imprinted on me.
I will never forget you.

Even when I lie in our bed
With someone else
I will hold you close
You loved me first.
I will think about you
Before I sleep.
And wonder if you think about me
In your bed where you took me
Over and over again
And made me yours.

Even as I kiss him
I imagine your face
Your lips
How you look into my eyes
As you take me.
How you hold me close after.
in your bed and mine
We made a vow.
To always love.
Mia Feb 2013
Is it too much to ask
That the love lasts forever?
must it always come to end
In horrific painful ways?
I gave you my best years
and my hopes and dreams.
You desecrated my trust
Taught me what it was to hurt
So much my heart was breaking
into shards that pierced what remained.
You destroyed everything I had
You pushed me off the edge
of sanity and reason.
Turmoil fills my days
I am besieged by the pain
With every breath I take.
Why couldn't you have walked away
The very first day we met?
I wouldn't love you this much
See you in my dreams
need you everyday.
I wouldn't ache when you push me away
worry myself to sickness
over what you want and need.
I wouldn't cry myself to sleep
Curse Cupid and the fates
Am tired of loving
it only brings hurt my way.
Oh but for blessed quiet
no more panicked plans
Rushed moments and time
I want to unknow everything
I have come to know with you.
Mia Feb 2013
The bonds forged in pain
are real.
Laced with the spirits
Of suffering and despair.
breaking the cycle
Is something that never happens
For the bonds are reinforced
When we give someone power
Over our emotions.
You need to open the cage
And soar on your own.
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