sleeping giants

in a trash bag
with the toothbrush
bent like a crackpipe under your boot.
why do you pretend you know so much?
  you know so little and that makes you one to admire;  strike up a conversation with a gypsy
and the
lighter magic will sway with you then.

   but if ukraine
dies, so does the maybe kids

I took the bag and walked
30 feet out onto the bridge.

as the
string
tied

I saw it sway

and the waves
kicked it back up on to the sand.

rotting
in the sun--

there was really nothing beautiful about it.

I just remember

the

seaweed at the knees -- so green

I can't feel my toes due to the lack of a circulated hot air system delivering heat within this space.

My breath blows and is visible like Puzuzu

I take out a solid white piece of paper and make a few scribbles.
The names are written and spell out the
people I used to care about , which is about 1 too many

Stuck inside drowning and not even a crowd to watch my demise.
If I'm going to go out I at least want others to see. Im tired of being stifled. I'm tired of being one of billions. I'm missing my tribe. My kin. Who has my back anymore? Anyone other than a meaningless acquabtence?
I'm stuck in the tomb and I'm losing my humanity. My emotions are being filed down. At least hate used to sustain me but I have even lost that. Stop ******* sqaushing me down and sqaushing me in a ******* box. WHO THE **** ARE YOU TO DICTATE MY LIFE? Who shackled me and tied me down? I will fight back I will not take anymore. I will not accept this fate. You killed my kin and robbed me of my ancestral spirit and now I am just a wild animal. I am no longer human. I am a force of nature

who was that?

WHO was THAT???


who was that?


who WAS that?

that.

who was that?

was that, who?

WHO?

who

who was?

who was that,
and what was that,
but really who was that,
that was a who?



anyway we need more drugs

A bowl of cherries sits protruding on the dentist's chair as he skitters over to the female specimen of uncertain origin.
" the fruit flies ate your mother like a little ******"
"Why, with angel dust I frolicking now?" She says as she gesticulates with her pointer toes.
"No mam, this is cancer"  and the tongue squirts juice in her salty eye.  
Her crotch turns gangrenous and the dwarf behind the counter lays 2 rotten eggs in a cupboard.
"What was the point of lying" said the doctor
"I'm not sure" says feminine monstrosity, but the beach whaled for them..I took out a salary and billed my little girl 26 hens by my sad eyed mouse. 2 butchers took the heart, we rested by doves and the dwarf laughed furious. God loves his children.😈

all around me are familiar faces  ;     if you step away    be sure to memorize
the voice code, 298 zero and proceed.
  if you must you must
, no time
to   fly

I hate writing on my phone.
By the time the thought has arrived I'm
editing a misspelled work or autocorrect has squandered the spirit

If I had a reason
To write, then I'd write,
But this manner of scribe is inefficient

and the ape who receives my poems uses them for tissue after an especially horrendous
evacuation

If I was paid to do this
I'd be poor, just like now, but
at least I could say I'm a poet

all my relationships fall apart because i cant just be one grounded person
  
I am a thousand people, and there
     Aren't very many good ones in the bunch

The guy typing is ok,
His name is jo

My love is broken. It's like a fragile linen

I want to love but I'm led along empty streets
& The vermin pick at my feet
If I needed something I would ask
But I guess
I'd rather rot alone

The slow ones
don't hesitate; there's nothing to gain

Feel free

Feel the tingly sensation in my abdomen
I feel the nauseaus spirit envelop my carapace

I see the old one walking along the deep divide

I feel free
And everything is stale
Depleted dopamine
Latching onto routine, burning it down with spontaneity
I like living, I really do, but only when it's without
restraint
Always remember that you're gonna die, and fairly soon too
Freedom isn't free

I sat up in amazement



I took a shower

I wrapped it up

and paid for the left overs.

I smiled at the door ---   the paste lay
in a bowtie

back up in a lamborgini
playing the newest

SMAP

death found me today

There was nothing I could do. I was a man now as of 4 hours and 22 minutes ago and thus needed to secure myself a job. I could no longer just sit in my room ******* and eat bowls of cereal and resign myself to nothing any longer, nor naively pursue a career in music that wasn't going to happen; I was talented but perhaps I didn't have the drive? I had to get a job. I had to 'do something', so I went online and found the first thing that popped up. It was Macys, a general clerk so I applied and of course the questionnaire was 3 pages and tested my aptitude. Did I have an IQ above room temperature? If so that'd make me a cashier, if not a boxboy. I ended up as a dressing room attendant.
     The interview was fine and was my first. I wore my dad's blue shirt and some shoes I stole a week previous since I didn't feel the need to buy shoes I'd likely be wearing once I rationalized.
I sat in the waiting room and it was before social media and smart phones so I thumbed through some magazines for thirty minutes then was eventually called. The interviewer seated me in a plushy red throne, and he had a nice haircut.
"So what brings you to Macy's" he said to me bluntly.
"I like this store. I shop here a lot and feel like I'd be a good fit" which was a lie; I never in my life shopped there.
" Okay, and tell me a time where you encountered a struggle, and how did you resolve it?"
I had to think for a moment, actually several moments and we sat there in uncomfortable silence for what seemed minutes. I was nervous.
"Ummm, a time I encountered a struggle and had to resolve it? Well there was a little dog that got hit in front of my house before, and all the kids were crying and I consoled them and performed CPR on that dog and he ended up surviving but died later in the hospital. and it was pretty traumatic and a lot of blood"
"okay that sounds heartbreaking, but moreso an experience that relates to working in a retail store"
"I used to sell cookies door to door"
"Yes that seems more relevant" he said while marking his clipboard.
And the interview went on and I felt for sure I blew it, but I shook his hand firmly like I'd always been told and looked him in the eye.
"Thank you, I really appreciate the opportunity" I told him while exiting.
always show gratitude they'd say; well I wasn't grateful and didn't want that job, but I read enough how-to's online. it was an act, an audition and I think I gave a good enough performance. A few days later I got the call and was told to come in for orientation.
I was trapped. It was the beginning.

how could you be so cold to a young man,

so cold to a still growing heart?

so cold to a confused stranger,
so cold
to someone that treated you with  respect.

I just
make a sandwich in the dark,

and cut a heart into the belly,

and bleed.

I am so tired,
and the internet has killled me,

and the hellopoerrts
and instramgrams
and facesbooks

and reddit
and goggles,
tired.

what even is human anymore? am I a human, or am so program?

I wanted you,

you wanted the software,

I wanted to be a glitch in the data.

I dont float,
I betray myself, I am nothing, I was something , I am nothing, do not haunt me,

do not haunt me. I do not exist I will die alone and inadequent,
and with unfulfilled desires.
the earth keeps spinning

**** THE UNIVERSE.

**** ANY ONE WHO CAUSED THIS,

I was      too     soft for this.                too soft for this     /l,//,/,/,//,,/,/,    h,lo -=o=o-gfko[sj[gdfj[gj[fdojo[gdfjogdfoj[hj[od]jphdfgjp]df

Utopic rat
sitting in translucent muck
Suckling the metal ****
like an obedient switch

the pellets fall down
the lamp heats thermal
caresses

Buried in the straw
is a pinky
The TV
Plays Holocaust blues
The night goes on
And the day never begins

Some tweaker came up to me proclaiming himself Jesus Christ and that he alone is responsible for "**** filters and electric wheels"
I nodded and then said
Yeah but I'm God

He didn't like that

It's like putting your hand to a flame when you're sitting in a barren room.
My brain is rotting and all my relationships turn to **** but I'm ready for the pain.
Crying my eyes out and getting drunk and slashing myself made for some dark miserable moments but they were so impactful and poetic in their own way.
Now I rot and there's no sorrow to distract me.
A cold dusty fog envelops my heart and I slip into apathy.
Void of pain and emotion all together, it is truly death. Not being. I want to live. I want someone to care. I want someone to love me. I want someone to hate me. I want someone here

***** it all out, chunks of it, putrid tonsillitis muck which glimmers in the summer air

I want free of this madness. Songs are driving me crazy in the sense that they repeat and say so little but mean so much because I want to be a star
Or maybe I want love, maybe I want attention maybe I want what everyone else wants which is something to ease the pain of it all
I want bliss
And I want to forget that I am nothing

Gerb in a gush goop lop lop
Sklop in a shock a mun julk

***** dewie
Lovx an huny ackvol

O say now
Pewb pewb
**** it good and hard
Uylm see
Stand in filligree lop
loshK
Two note steeve , none for me

tired of stories and 'real life'
I want to read something that makes me forget I'm alive, something to make me feel kinship with an ant.
Something to strip me of my pride.
Something to make feel unborn and unloved
, Something to make feel like a grain of sand
Something to make me feel like the sleeping vagrant,
Or the guts of a rabbit on a sidewalk.
Something cold,
Something like a universe

Im going to go upstairs and beat the **** out of the **** blasting his trash and cut out his eyeballs and his heart.
******* loser holding me hostage.
I'll pry you open with a sickle and feed your guts to my iguana you ******* vermin and on a full moon too?
Tomorrow im blasting Hungarian rhapsody.
And I could shoot you but it's too merciful and bullets too costly. Good night my love

Fake ******* *****
"I'M SO WEIRDDDD, I'M INTO ALL SORTS OF CREEPY **** 🤪"
the second I mention that I collect animal specimens she blocks me
It just hurts because I liked her face
I wanted to wear it

Got court in a week

Did a few days in jail
& Sitting in the empty cell was actually a nice vacation, I told them so.
So many things to occupy your mind
The swastikas and "**** LIFE" & "I'm sorry Mama"s scrawled everywhere. I traced them with my finger a hundred times, then I added my own swazi with a paper clip.

Did a bunch of pushups and wrapped the bed sheet around the bars and did a decent calisthenics back workout.
Talked to the ***
drunkard, while he farted and ate his peas
"Maaan, I woke up in here. Don't remember ****"
Ate stale spaghetti with sawdust meat clumps,
And picked my nose and dreamed of the pyramids and nothing.
After 16 hours I was let out.

Got picked up, and then laid in my silent room, and threw my paper work in the toilet.
Now I'm lonely. The guard was cute, and she saw my ****.
I'll just keep stealing

Writing while half awake & dealing with ***** trash
slide down the slide see the blue sky
I've opened my heart to no one but the night

Nobody belongs to me
You don't belong to me
I wish you did, I wish this was permanent but love is temporary like life itself
It's conditional
I get sick and withdraw as a result and I feel you pull back
I see your performative displays, pictures for everyone but me
Attention elsewhere the second I don't supply it
And I'm content;
I already knew this, but it still hurts.
It hurts knowing that all we built were words
You'll never be mine,
It was just my turn

through the fog i see you, still & alone
Your face is a radiant blue
I miss you
Even though I no longer know you
I remember the silk waves and the sunny
disposition
I remember the screams into nothing
My soul is still searching
for what we had
so perfect in its imperfection

this life isn't meant to be quiet
the damp roses cannot sustain monotony
To sit idle is too betray aeons and perpetuate suffering
knowing too much led me to thinking too much
The perspicacious dancer dances for oneself
Look out into the light and see what is there,
Stop dreaming for tomorrow
Tomorrow was yesterday
And it's too soon

you use my loneliness as a weapon

you reach out only to infest

you're a vicarious ****
, you revel in my sadness,
   the taste is
sweet, and if I'm buried
into my casket you will leap

rid you of me
rid every bit of you

rid you of me
exorcise
these demons from my head

no

The amiable saint

Down the hall sits a curious man

Fists forward

The cat eats the ear of a scurlish orphan

Impregnated Angels
Birth the son of nothing
My favorite song
I shall now listen

"Dying sun burns in our eyes,
Nows the time to say good bye"

Marked by black totems,
a bended neck protracts against the polished blade
All but the fool saw it
And what a scene.

Blood for days and days. I still remember
& Give no ***🖤

Nothing to say


Terrible

Pain.

Words. Block. Words. I write. Now I go.    Back to the drawer. Sit down stand up.   Hush hush,  roses for a corpse. You peel me back,  and wash me away.   No one remembers.  Another line to cross . Erase. Fade.  Stay.  strain

I need to prioritize my health again and that means
mental health  too
.

That means absences from all the calls,
and time wasters; people looking to be strung along because they can't find their own path.

you need to detox,
and it takes a lot of self-reflection and
BOREDOM.

boredom heals in the same way starvation
cannibalizes
a tumor through autophagy. give yourself some

time

he strangles her

breathing in a tube


fire fight

black cup full to a hazard   scaling the mount

too soon
to yell

hasn't picked up
mail in the yard

Tigger is in me
poking the dots  


caroline-
or Jackie,
or Presley

--
so nice --

staring without blinking --

talking then leaving.


stranded in your vacuum

I read today's papers in
disbelief

Yeah you know tattoo ink has cancer right?

You know that pizza has cancer right?

You know that coffee has cancer right?

You know that bananas have aluminum?
You know that the Earth is dying and an asteroid collision is imminent?

You know that greenhouse gasses are exacerbating climate change?
You know that hormone blockers for an 8 year old is ethical?
You know that I'm a primate?
You know that
I like trap rap

You know that my name is Wei Brown
I live in the gentrified suburbs

I planted a flower and it sits on my stove
*******

You know that every question is an answer

Hyperbole though I manage and the left ear firmly bandaged, I
Squint towards the sun as he speaks now
"  abyss follows",
My hands tied tight what did the fainting man see, something behind the tide. I wish you paid more mind , I wish you showed up on time, what did it take to be so famished
   PIECES.

I see you now like doves disintegrating. I see the exit painted red as you decay among the chalk. I kiss the cherried hand and bloodied nose.
What was wrapped up bled along with the sheets and burned in the crucifix. What statyed strong ran amok. What buried lies amassed truth in this realm, so the carcass wouldn't spit. I fed it a numb plum.  Please don't despair. Hiatus only meant a long break,  and how long it truly is  especially today when the larvae cry for you

i wear my skin
like pearls from a
   string

I wear my skin like silent dusk

I wear my face like loose fog

I wear my pain like dripping skies

I wear my sorrow like fading night

And pray to human
tragedy

What else can i do

What else can i be

I want the worst for myself but not in a masochistic way relating to anything foul or ******.
I just want to be obliterated. I won't take **** from anyone and have honor and pride in most petty affairs but still at the end of the day wish I was run over by a truck and my brain was flattened.
****** analyze that.  Low self esteem,  but prideful and borderline arrogant otherwise.
I think I'm just depressed , so I sleep.
Sleep away

She had the finest **** I told her

When you're alone at 2am, isolated and riddled with neuroticism and neurodivergent tendencies
a little company is satisfying .
I had no real intention of sleeping with her but I liked the idea of being wanted so I let my mind wander
and hers too

Lots of people are lonely, but you have the false assumption that being around another person will fix your loneliness. Do you not remember the nights intertwined with someone wishing you could be anywhere else? You just desire what you don't currently have, and it's normal human nature, but your issue seems to be of a greater spiritual emptiness that no one person alone can fill, nor will ever fill. Perpetual longing is the default state of man and you suffer because of this desire,

I feel like no one ever hears me

    I speak
and their eyes glaze over;
maybe I'm polite
but nobody cares about my side of things.

They walk around me
and pretend I'm not there.

will tussle with their **** as I'm sitting there as my shadow pours over them.
I'm not there.

I can sing to a crowded room
and no one's eyes
watch me;
I am truly invisible.   I'm not even sure
I exist, but here we
are

](ķ*&they walked back thru the street of snow and ice with whispers in fog. It took too much to stay but we couldn't leave so we lit a f ire. I didn't mind. I was somewhere else   ⅖

i once wrote that ''killing myself would be like making a sandwich''

it's actually the hardest thing I've tried to do.

I'll keep trying so i'm not a failure

free

God is here
He's got a big face
There's children in the garage
This is wasting ink
Writing for a son
Nowhere to be found

Put a fist up my head
Saw 3 truths
1 about blowing smoke
2 about talking to strangers

Hopefully I can find the meaning down the road
I'm a little sick
And it's whatever
This time it's now

pain is being too numb to feel any thing

It was easy today, looking in the mirror, combing my hair. I didn't shudder from the ugliness I merely turned my head to the mermaid on the wall playing a harp.

When I put my shoes on I went for a ride on my bike and this gothic girl was lighting a candle by the Christian altar ; I saw her stained sword by the rock wall and then she left before I could confront her.
In simpler times I probably would have put something in her , but I don't do that with the surveillance next door.
So I just sat there for a while then tossed a half drank Heineken at Jesus' face; he shattered into dust and I almost felt bad but they used cheap alabaster **** which made me pity the Creator.

I walked along the dried lake and took an automated picture.
I got sun and my head felt better. Still I work tomorrow, still I hate

Hate that I know too much. Hate that I feel every transgression but that's the price of being alive

Stop laughing at me you ***** before i sever your throat and place
You on a mantle
.SMILEING

with the sun

and saturn with his children
All but

Digested
.

No heirs for a
KING

No heirs for the priest.
67777777777777


Io


It sets down in the blue
hills

Awake with pain in this place
Couldn't dream was crying in a disaster place
Reluctant to shed light when wounded
I **** your god with a knife & your daughter
with a smile
Be conscious

Is it worth writing if you can't be yourself?
If you're afraid of the outcome, if you be yourself?
Is it worth it to be perfect if it means being fractured in your self perception?
Are you writing as a means to fill a character role, or is really you writing?
You might lose the teen girls with your raunchiness, and the old strigid traditionalists with your erratic lines, but dont lose yourself in the process.
It's okay to ****, it's okay to be messy and uncouth, but please don't lie to yourself

feel betrayed, bamboozled
Women are too good at the game of emotional manipulation
Even a young girl runs circles around me.
I try to be cool and detached
but inevitably the photos of the other men come flooding in; the Hispanic dude with guaged ears, the buff guy with the lizard tattoo, and she knows I'll watch all of it

But she ****** me just so she could toy with me after; her greatest currency
No intention of meeting again, just wanted me in her orbit, and God it felt amazing and I indeed became a weary simp

I'm too old for this **** though, so I blocked her. Total indifference on her end of course, but now
I can be ***** and alone but at least with some semblance of dignity.
But what's dignity worth when you're lonely?
Only a sociopath can beat this game and I'm getting close; next time
I'll win but it'll hardly be fun