Quit my job today, the phone
rings and it's transcribed to me, desperation, but they cut my hours so
I don't give a ****.

I'm barely coherent I feel and this poem is awful. Lacking soul. I've lost my soul and confidence. My self esteem is nothing. I am less than fly ****, I am frothing maggoty waste.
I am a skid on the road after the rolling head barked at me.

I lost my love and so I lose my mind. I wish words could help me.  This last fit will
do me in

My love is broken. It's like a fragile linen

I want to love but I'm led along empty streets
& The vermin pick at my feet
If I needed something I would ask
But I guess
I'd rather rot alone

The slow ones
don't hesitate; there's nothing to gain

I want to **** myself,

but Im so tired of talking about it. lights out,
and nothing more.

solid glass,

and bleeding into a sense,
with my brains smashed.
I ******* HATE LIFE.

why can't I have more.

I cry every night,

I try to be strong,
I try to be the 'hard guy'.

I can beat any ******, but I'm tired. I want to die,
I want to lie down in dirt
and breathe nothing.

you've hurt me,

and I've hurt myself. you've told me to hurt myself and so I have.

I have no more dreams, I sleep until 5
,

I work until I die,

I make money just to die,

I live just to die,

I sit down
and **** a girl and **** myself afterwards.
I love no one,

not even myself.   I want to drawn, and the last 30 people that want me to go,

I've already left.


walking on the pavement on the hill, in the sunset I see 30 high rises,

I see a cathredal and parted clouds, the birds speak my name,

I jump and free the god that haunts me.

the god that haunts me,

and I no longer cry. I am
free ,        free,         free , free from the strange sorrow and strange


confusion

It's been a good few days because it has been so quiet. The neighbor hasnt blown any gas in my window lately and the cat hasn't puked in my rug.
I took a long bath and played with myself and played pink floyd "echoes live in Pompeii"
I laughed at someone i saw on my screen and gave him a thumbs up and i cried when i saw a silverback crying for momma.
It was a good day, quiet.
I had the heater on and jammed on my guitar and took a fish oil.
Then i walked down the road and didnt say hi to ryan because he's a goof. All he does is play pool and smoke *** and brag about his obese GF with her 2 kids that he willingly lets stay with him. Good deal man.
I make it back home and call my dad.
"I'm dying, I have anxiety" i say
He calms me down as usual. I lay back in bed and watch my phone. I clack away and now here i am writing this poem with nothing more to recount.
It is quiet, if only i actually listened and
enjoyed it rather than always write about it

it's well lit here on a superfical level
But it's dark inside

I can't see whats in front of me
Or what's lurking in the shadows

Pretend to be asleep
The mourning is almost here

how could you be so cold to a young man,

so cold to a still growing heart?

so cold to a confused stranger,
so cold
to someone that treated you with  respect.

I just
make a sandwich in the dark,

and cut a heart into the belly,

and bleed.

I am so tired,
and the internet has killled me,

and the hellopoerrts
and instramgrams
and facesbooks

and reddit
and goggles,
tired.

what even is human anymore? am I a human, or am so program?

I wanted you,

you wanted the software,

I wanted to be a glitch in the data.

I dont float,
I betray myself, I am nothing, I was something , I am nothing, do not haunt me,

do not haunt me. I do not exist I will die alone and inadequent,
and with unfulfilled desires.
the earth keeps spinning

**** THE UNIVERSE.

**** ANY ONE WHO CAUSED THIS,

I was      too     soft for this.                too soft for this     /l,//,/,/,//,,/,/,    h,lo -=o=o-gfko[sj[gdfj[gj[fdojo[gdfjogdfoj[hj[od]jphdfgjp]df

"Megadeth is my favorite band" she said.
Megadeth is absolute trash but I appreciated the fact she even liked metal.
She sat outside with me and we smoked the American spirits she made me buy and we talked about her recent overdose.
"Yeah I was gone then woke up like a from a deep sleep. Scares me to think that nothing might happen when you die"
She was shivering since it was cold outside and my 2xl hoodie looked ridiculous on her yet so cute and endearing. I pulled her in for a kiss, and tasted strawberry from her lip gloss. Her black raven hair unfurled in my lap, and I embraced her in the dim stairwell. I then guided her back to the room while holding her hand, and we proceded to take our clothes off. She had numerous scars on her hip, years and years of self harm. I showed her my own arm and she laughed.
"That's ***** ****" she said
I grabbed a pocket knife and made her cut me.
"What the **** are you doing you ******? Oh my gaahd"
"You called me a *****, so I had to prove myself" I said while laughing maniacally.
I then pooled the blood on my finger and licked it and she skulked over and ****** it too.
"Sorry for making you do a boo boo" she said with a cheeky grin.
"No problem babe"
I then began kissing her neck while cradling her head in my hand and felt her heavy exhales as I made my way down to her *******. I suckled on her ******* and saw her eyes rolling back and goosepumps form on her chest. After some moments I picked her up and threw her down on the bed like a playful brute and started kissing her thighs. Her hands grasped my hair and when I finally reached her **** she was practically tugging my hair from my scalp.
"Ohhhhh right there. Soo good" she bellowed out.
I kept massaging her **** with my tongue until I finally just began ******* it, and inserted a finger and stroking inside her.
She was really moaning now, and I continued until her whole body was trembling, and her knees practically choking me.
Then I eased on her and she fell back panting, and I cuddled with her for a moment, stroking her hair, and cupping her breast in my hand.
SpongeBob was on and we both found that silly.
After a few moments, she slid down the bed and put my **** in her mouth and I closed my eyes and told it her it was good.
Just relaxing. She ****** on my ***** a bit too and she reminded me of a chipmunk with her full cheeks. I giggled. After about a minute, I propped a pillow under her belly and put my full weight on top of her (6'3, 210ibs) and entered in her. She was so tight and every ****** made me want to erupt.
"YAASS DADDYYY! YASSSS DADDY **** ME DADDY!!" She shouted.
I pressed her face into the pillow
"Shut up" I laughed.
I heard her muffled moaning through the pillow, and with every ****** her voice would vibrate in an amusing fashion.
I was about to *** and really pressed in against her with her head tight in my arms like a chokehold.
"ooh I'm gonna *** babe" I whispered
"Yes please. Yes" she responded.
After a few more deep thrusts, I got up to my knees and pressed her mouth to my **** and exploded in her mouth. Every pulse of my **** released another torrent of ***. She looked surprised
"Swallow it babe"
She hesitated for a second then swallowed.
" I don't usually swallow, but I guess I already ****** your blood haha"
After that, I kissed her and we watched SpongeBob some more.
We laughed hysterically at the 'CHOCOLATTTTEEE!!!!!!!' guy.
After about an hour I bought her some taco Bell and dropped her off. We kissed, and she walked into her mom's apartment.
She's since OD'd off of opiates, and I remember the nothing she spoke of often when I sleep, like you weren't even there.
Like a phantom with no residence. and I've since tried listening to megadeth but it still *****. I do like peace sells though babe xoxo and I hope nothing is at least blissful wherever it is

Let's dance baby
Let's dance
Let's hop on a train to no where sipping a corona
Your face scarred with innocence

A pill bottle barricaded inside
Pleading as the bayonets stick you in
Let's dance let's dance baby
Purple
Blue, blurrred running from a dream
Running from a dream
Pockets lined with gold
Baby youre a star
Pandemic blues
I reach out for you

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

,😟

Took a picture head-on on instagram
no filters
No angles
Not a smile

i was happy
It's a step towards real

Whatever it takes to be good, I wanna be less.

Good isn't living up to their ideals, it is living up to your own
Be great

I sat at a stoplight and my brain thought of nothing

I ate a subway sandwich as I farted In the cold and my cat drank liquid ****, i thought of nothing
I ***** a muffin and ****** 3 boyscouts and thought of nothing.
I ran a mile and picked my nose with greasy toes and thought of the state of the union. I voted.nothing. I passed away from a cold and pled guilty. **** human rights. Pigs won me over for the greasy ham. I slap it down with 3 jokers. I went talking whilst texting a joker in the day, her parents are dead and so am I.

It was easy today, looking in the mirror, combing my hair. I didn't shudder from the ugliness I merely turned my head to the mermaid on the wall playing a harp.

When I put my shoes on I went for a ride on my bike and this gothic girl was lighting a candle by the Christian altar ; I saw her stained sword by the rock wall and then she left before I could confront her.
In simpler times I probably would have put something in her , but I don't do that with the surveillance next door.
So I just sat there for a while then tossed a half drank Heineken at Jesus' face; he shattered into dust and I almost felt bad but they used cheap alabaster **** which made me pity the Creator.

I walked along the dried lake and took an automated picture.
I got sun and my head felt better. Still I work tomorrow, still I hate

Hate that I know too much. Hate that I feel every transgression but that's the price of being alive

A bowl of cherries sits protruding on the dentist's chair as he skitters over to the female specimen of uncertain origin.
" the fruit flies ate your mother like a little ******"
"Why, with angel dust I frolicking now?" She says as she gesticulates with her pointer toes.
"No mam, this is cancer"  and the tongue squirts juice in her salty eye.  
Her crotch turns gangrenous and the dwarf behind the counter lays 2 rotten eggs in a cupboard.
"What was the point of lying" said the doctor
"I'm not sure" says feminine monstrosity, but the beach whaled for them..I took out a salary and billed my little girl 26 hens by my sad eyed mouse. 2 butchers took the heart, we rested by doves and the dwarf laughed furious. God loves his children.😈

Absolutely awful
Neon and indigo
I bought
A crouton for my niece she sits in the cellar,
And my bucket is full.

About time now, and clacking, clacking
Eyedrops with red dye, pick up your mouse you swine.
Merely dreaming all the time,

Tuesdays at the park and never crying

Again

Cut out my heart and fill it mangos
Cut off my tongue and fill it with sugar
Cut off my **** and replace it with  teddybears eyes
Fill my guts with gummys and cotton candy
Bleach my hair
Indigo
And pink
Let me laugh maniacly I don't care.  Now there is no pain but I'm still weary.
I just enjoy the moment.  It's sweet as can be and hopefully never sour , with
you I don't wanna die

My brother od'd
Poured some ice water on him and slapped the **** out of him
& administered narcan
He awoke after a 2nd  dousing of ice water
He then cursed me
And told me to ******* despite being a blue corpse a mere minute ago
But at this point I don't care about the outcome
The first time is scary
The 2nd time is alarming
The 3rd time is annoying
The last time is indifference

I don't have much say here

"I'LL THROW THAT ******* PHONE AGAINST THE WALL IF I HEAR MUSIC AGAIN"
"I'll throw you against the wall you fat ****"
And now im out of a job.
He wanted silence while i scrubbed the grime.
I wanted noise, i wanted blood really, and now on my bed its not so bad. I have noise and the months flew by like a time warp.
I worked for nothing, i saved for nothing, my life was sold.
Don't be sold. Dont forget youre gonna die

I hate that  I sometimes come across as narcissistic

i hate that decided to pursue art rather
than just get a normal job and live an inconspicuous existence
with an understanding partner  and  a simple home.

i hate that i'm lying here at 4:55  feeling sick.

I hate that's it's raining.

I hate that I don't like a great majority of my work or at least
come to resent it later.


I hate the fact that nothing  satisfies  me -
even when I try and put in a great amount of effort.

I have a better physique than 90% of people
and quit using drugs
and alcohol and cigarettes    and still feel like garbage.


I hate that
I don't trust

and generally assume the worst in humanity  and this life in general.


I hate
that  I see much more beauty in ugliness.


I'm ready to return to nonexistence.

or If i'm apart of you , and we're all one  'beautiful   spiritual essence---

I'll see us soon

This one means nothing, say it again
It means nothing, like a book full of scribbles and spiders dancing along the wall.
We cry in our dreams when we've lost something dear to us in this reality, like a
good friend or  a  match when the darkness won't relent

So sad I barely feel any anger anymore.
I dreamed of lashing out
at one point but for what purpose?

Acclaim,
passing notoriety?

I am nothing and I will return to nothing.
I need to cease all notions of ego and pride.

Just need to be as docile and accepting as a rabbit as it's picked off by a coyote. You served your purpose. Or maybe there was none, but it's time to leave anyway.

Some tweaker came up to me proclaiming himself Jesus Christ and that he alone is responsible for "**** filters and electric wheels"
I nodded and then said
Yeah but I'm God

He didn't like that

***** it all out, chunks of it, putrid tonsillitis muck which glimmers in the summer air

I want free of this madness. Songs are driving me crazy in the sense that they repeat and say so little but mean so much because I want to be a star
Or maybe I want love, maybe I want attention maybe I want what everyone else wants which is something to ease the pain of it all
I want bliss
And I want to forget that I am nothing

I'm gonna take a screwdriver
and jam it into her eye socket
and then
take pliers
and twist her tongue
until it's unhinged from the jaw

I'll then pour acid down her throat
and **** her ***
while she squeels in agony

then I'll
make some pancakes
for my doggo
Jim Jim
and he can eat the leftovers

then I'll do it again maybe
and then some day I can smile with Jehovah

Dumb

I have a gun behind the oatmeal in the left-hand cupboard.
I like touching it when I scoop oats into my saucepan for further cooking.
Sometimes I **** the trigger and put it in my mouth and perform ******* on it
I want to swallow a gun's load because I'm
gay enough to die

laying

down on a

sofa

in the dirt.


my eyes

are open and the air
is rubbing-



wine in the freezer,


hamster
in the cage.


2 spongebobs in the hamper



love is just a 4 letter word

but so

is ****

I want the worst for myself but not in a masochistic way relating to anything foul or ******.
I just want to be obliterated. I won't take **** from anyone and have honor and pride in most petty affairs but still at the end of the day wish I was run over by a truck and my brain was flattened.
****** analyze that.  Low self esteem,  but prideful and borderline arrogant otherwise.
I think I'm just depressed , so I sleep.
Sleep away

So hopeful
And weary
I cannot feel my hands
My hands are cold and stiff

I kiss you somewhere over
Here
Then make my way to the partition

I cannot see straight
I wringe my collar of the desecrated
tears
My serpent speaks
To make love is to **** and penetrate
Stab deep into your wound
And dessicate
Annihilate with fury
My overtone sweet with faith and sophistry
Now is the time to wonder
Were you always this innocent?

Bought a gun so i know where my sanity lies

You can pass all the laws you like
But I still have it

I am mentally ill and i laugh at you.  Try to take it.  Loaded and ready but now I sleep. tomorrow the toast might be stale but not the coffee.
**** this country and *******.

All roots were torn,  we're a nation of insects. Made in China. Fill our hearts with plastic

she sold
poems


she sold
linen


she folded
cotton


she ate
biscuits


I  prayed on thursdays


I sat
on porches


I played violins


I played
clarinets


I    ate
greeen

I spelled
neanderthal



I drew
pictures
of lanterns


I dreamed of   your face.


I crawled in the   cold.


I begged

for a better
bag.


I   denied
the toad.


I froze
the throne.

I am
the dusty
thorn.



you took too long.


and now it seems there's only 3 ways

but only 1
code.


don't say     I   was afraid

had an abcess on my gums,
that **** ****** ,  and it ruptured and I swallowed pus while sleeping  unbeknownced to me that it ruptured,
and I went to the dentist and had my wisdom ripped out ,

why can't we keep the tooth?
  
        I had no pain pills. I merely walked in the light

I'm grateful to be here,

to see the vanquished cities as they propagate the vast expanse,

To hold my heart in a ***** jar with the wounded still crying out

I am grateful to breathe this air,

To see the tarry streets as they grip on my lost feet,

To see the fire as it's quenched with mortar



I am grateful

Grateful for everything, and everything I wish I could have saved; it made me a better man, losing it all and a piece of my soul

floating thru the space  as the meteor shower brushes past my face.

the solar
glare explodes

100/000 light years away.

the rumbling of Saturn
throws a few moons off its tilt.


earth is thrown into a reverse rotation.


the galaxy opens up

and the dust settles
somewhere near the end   when 'time' was just waking up.

beauty before there were words to describe it.  

a whole life without ever being born

Head is racing,  and my body is static. The room is dead and dull. I hear bass thumping from a special.
Hot lamp trickling with tar.
No one to talk with; I forget what that's like.  People just talk?

I wish I was erased, and I wish no ill will to anyone.
A dumb bewildered ape staring at a monolith. No text,  but infinite wisdom.  It only said nothing and that was too much

Bleak like a cracked mirror in a skid row ****** squat;

Bleak like my testicles
After a day of doing nothing
But
******* air

Bleak like a Chinese person in China in the year now

Bleak like a mortgage in 2023

I fill a cup with water and drink it down, nice and cool

so she was reading my stuff and said to me
'why do you hide this?
put it out there for people to see'


well I'd like to, but the
      horses would catch me

She stared at me with cold eyes
"Hey what's up. Why are you staying at me?"
The words had no effect and she merely skittered to the back of the store.
It was really late or she was having latency issues on account of a Xanax binge.
I bought cigarettes like a ******* fool - it's so embarrassing nowadays and I practically say it under my breath. At least I buy the cool kind
"Marlboro 27s please"
I go home then watch pulp fiction and finish tattooing my arm and gulp my steel reserve. I live like a ******* goblin. I get so drunk that I start jacking off on the porch and eventually stop once the third car with its blinding light shakes me out of my stupor.
Now it's 6 am and I sleep. I dont dream. The window is frosted over and I will pray to Jesus.
I will take help from anyone at this point.
The gutter is too full and I'm standing naked in a pool of leeches. It's gone too far

through the fog i see you, still & alone
Your face is a radiant blue
I miss you
Even though I no longer know you
I remember the silk waves and the sunny
disposition
I remember the screams into nothing
My soul is still searching
for what we had
so perfect in its imperfection

Yeah you know tattoo ink has cancer right?

You know that pizza has cancer right?

You know that coffee has cancer right?

You know that bananas have aluminum?
You know that the Earth is dying and an asteroid collision is imminent?

You know that greenhouse gasses are exacerbating climate change?
You know that hormone blockers for an 8 year old is ethical?
You know that I'm a primate?
You know that
I like trap rap

You know that my name is Wei Brown
I live in the gentrified suburbs

I planted a flower and it sits on my stove
*******

You know that every question is an answer

The same **** over and over.
Pull the gun and shoot the moon.
The parade walks by, 14 nickles, still it rains.
***** knees but God is a friend
Kneel to your master .
Sun,
It.
Kites in black culdesacs, winding.

when


you are struggling to

stay awake-


play the violin on the
4th fret
with a crooked
spoon.

no tears
were made

to be wasted

I want to be with my girlfriend, but I hate not being able to be alone. ***** me up like a
vacuum, wherever I go, I follow
Want to be gone in a grey beam,
taken by something obvious. Your heaven in ribbons.
  Time to let her know

feel like I have 1000 horses laying on top of me
and as a result everything's been getting to me.
You have more time to reflect when you're in a wounded and docile state, and it's lately recognizing that everything is inherently transactional.
No one loves just because they can, they love because you give them all your time,
the ***** loves because you give her your money and your time.
The cat loves because you give it tuna,
The *** loves because you give him your money
Not your tuna sandwich.
It is what is it, take take take take. I wish we weren't just animals looking to get through the night and I wish there was a hand reaching out without any expectations to receive, or maybe it's just me and my loneliness
And misanthropy.
  I just know Im in need, but I'll never recieve

bleeeeeeeeeep
FOR THE MOMENT

FOR THE MOMENT


CAN'T WITHDRAW

CAN'T OBSESSS ----- HALF BAKED. ,, ON A CRUMB ,, 3 YEARS AGO,

WHY'
WHY

HALF 2 A MOON

and then I listen.

packed in a gross cage.

love like  a zebra.

I **** the clover,  I **** her deep, like a pulse in.  July.

no more sleeping.


hanging from your blum
.

god told me no lies .                                      stained

Female, 18, white
5 ft 7 in, Toned
Incall
USA > California > Anaheim place
Donations
Girlfriend Next Door💙

30mins:200
60mins:350 Msog
90mins:500 Msog

GFE baby
Bbbj
Daty
Dfk
+50 cim
+50 cof
+100 greek

My face doesnt fit my head
My shoulders don't fit my legs.
My clothes don't fit my back
My chest doesn't fit this this shirt

I d be fine being ugly if it didn't matter

And i wish I could wear your smile

up at 4:43 writing a poem as though writing a good one will change anything.
I have 600 poems and nothing has changed.

maybe it allows me to notarize and organize my life in certain stages by writing this stuff
even though I can go months without composing anything.

But maybe I'll say something which finally
       allows me to run naked through the hills.

something which allows me to go behead the president and take a ****
in front of a news camera on the most prominent station.
If I **** my own ****
it's only due to my long neck;
6-7 inches is nothing nowadays when competing with **** in which  every female is a consumer.

I am for sure
going to the post office tomorrow; my book of zen arrives.
It says be water, so I'll run

and I sit on a porch deck
chair
with the sun bleeting on me.
buy 2
fruit with masks and the cashier coofs

lay still you *****-  
foment the beach sun.
*** like a ******* miracle,
oh
I'm crying . bake it thru.  bake the death from it.
covid,
you shill and misanthropic venture. free us now. and walk on shallow streets


like     a    drug;                focused and
self-assured

my dreams
are dead


sitting in the trash

can

--
brain matter in my head

my dreams are dead

i am dead

i am dead


no more luck
or glory-

spoons sitting ***** on the table

with the abused
flower


.

no one is here
to hear
it


dreams are
nothing to me now

nothing to me now


i gave up too easily

i don't even know what i wanted

Finally told you how I feel and it was liberating.
Was tired of the reluctance and nicety
and fake virtue, may as well spill my guts.
I wanted you to know that I hate you, and how vile you are, and how much of a disgusting pig you are.
I wanted you to see that side of me. That's the side that sleeps well at night, knowing he has no one to please & no one to rely on;
peace of mind