******* toes wasn't as great as I thought it'd be prior to first doing it.
I always imagined that it'd taste like like candy. It tasted like a hand. A flavorless hand. I was so underwhelmed. Everything is always a lie, even feet

The reality is we'll all die alone
I'd thought maybe you'd be there
to guide me
through the next realm.
but the reality is
I'll be there alone.

in the fabric of time and space, we are one,
but
  here we're on our own

People have too much hope

Throbbing along. Grieving one.  Where did you go.  Where did the water drain down.  A ******* was not too far.  I walked there and fell. Broke my nose on the glass

PEARL

moldovite. it didn't work ⁸

yards
in a mile for footstools now .
  she rubs her silly
***
like a serpent .  who here has no future ? save thy nickel and pet your
prudent
pride
once more and feel tonight as you slither
across floorboards
for
amused muppets seething

I don't CARE

I wander through the ancient
gardens,
I **** the ****** in her little slit.

I burn the temple,

I pray to the last priest on judgement day. **** my ******* with a 22inch
cactus.

I don't care.
you don't matter.
******* all.

you all mean nothing to me.
         Ill die alone,

but at least I won't be afraid.


last embrace.
must I dream and always see your face.

lover

lover

leave me for good.          leave

me please.

Toothless
Fat

Hobbit.

Tip toe along a grey road; pick roses; pick plums.

TV on at 3, but most likely youtube.

I told my friend about my burthday.

I feel the carcinogens in my lungs.

I hit a new PR on close grip.

I have thoughts at 2 miles an hour.
I drive a Scion.

I blast suicide boys with my brother to be edgy but really like cannibal corpse.
I won't live to 50.
I'm sorry to no one.
I have a head ache; I cook meat, with hair.
You will one day be proud.
You will dance in
a pool of rain
you will be loved, love like fantasy, not
Truth. There will be roses in the corridor, and
leaves in the cellar like a dim hallucinaton in moonlight

I can't write I can't write I can't write I can't write they took my brain they took my brain and my soul i am nothing we are nothing I pass the dirt road once again

I never saw someone so angry.
It must be true. No-one ever wanted to just go on a hike with you and bake brownies and
play uno with you before with no expectations.

I didn't even kiss you until the 3rd date, because you were too drunk, and I felt like it would be scummy.

& now I see the rebounding dorks hitting you up,
saying ''when we hanging bae?''

I hope you have fun. I hope you treat the next guy better, and I really mean it, because you made me feel like a ******* chump.
you made me feel like I wasn't enough when  I am absolutely enough.
You made me feel invincible
and then proceeded to break me down to nothing.
  I  won't be
a victim,       no longer.       I won't be a  fool.  Thank you, for the
lust

In a floating orb
With hands outstretched and
a severed tongue
Crying at the stairs. Bleeding into the night
Hysterical
And assaulted with the bleak reality of an
existence spent blind
I want to see you and understand
I want to love without hurting
Light without the abyss
I am here, and I've been
waiting for something to finally make
sense
because the pain is beyond all
comprehension

Strung up like a lantern
grey
& Fruitful
Bitter tears& strains of pain
& Glass

youre So beautiful
In
red
& the birds keep
chirping

They persist and feast on my **** which is gelatinous and sickly
& paraded by the local
satanic convention

I'm awake at 7am
& Have managed to dream about crickets in prayer

I have no boss
But I still feel subjugated. Maybe some day
I'll be free
when my corneas are fitted for the massacre

I used to love
someone
named Cambria,
now she
sits behind glass unaware
of my existence;
I saw this coming

I can't write this poem

  I sit up like a pig & see a half baked moon

Your reason for dissertion & death was inadequate and thus we sentence you to death

My ***** are warm

I'm so alone that I have dreams with no one in them

I'll write a song sometimes while asleep & awake in disgust
As I realize it's a beetle

These quizzical looks warm my starchy heart

Who knew crying was the remedy for sadness
, The only ones who care are your moths and they barely even do

I hope I see you again someday when you're shrunken and pleading for
      ****** blood

These days wrap around me like a prayer
      left unanswered since January so
I drive my car to the Chinese shop
& Squat next to
A bearded man playing a grey shoe

Everything will be taken away,
Everything you loved a hollow shell, everything that made you feel whole a blank smear, everything that loved you , a black smudge,
Your heart in a drawer
Locked away,
Your brain behind glass,
Your soul in a cloud, your
Face in a pool,
Your mouth on a jury,
Your friend in a cell,
Your child on an auction, your faith in a bag of money,
Your dreams in a funeral.

You will still be here, breathing, but not necessarily alive

out on the lawn



you've got packed lunch.

your friends are dumb


and i'm just about to dive
down.


hand me
the torch--


in the bed post
i buried
her,

and she still breathes in my ear

ever after all these years

Alone in the woods
The crickets chirp
The moonlight spills into the tent
My head aches a little
But I feel good

Full body shivers,
The pillow is nice and
my back is stiff along the dirt floor
As it should be

I'm still one man out here
But I feel free
And I feel a little broken
But that's fine too
I never wanted to be perfect

I wear the
glove

the tight red glove
that shines    under the light of the desktop monitor.


I feel the notches in
the pig
skins

and I feel the braided hair

and I feel the slimy

glue
that is pressed on    the cheeks like so.


I wear my red glove

and I drive to the hill
where I  pray for forgiveness

Ha heh heh
It gets closer
Pig wind
Ethereal
  Insulation
masturbatory
musings
Sigil among lifeless forms
Painted by numbers
Oppressed by everyone
Confiscated whilst yearning
Freedom keeps me alive
But sanity is another
question

"WHAT'S YOUR WORD COUNT?
WHAT'S YOUR WORDCOUNT?" he shouted

I don't know, but I make my words count

it's like  rain dripping off the back of
 a crow in the night straight into the gutter,
  straight into the filthy unknown.  
  cheap cheeap cheap


outdone by some
dancer

This is the sound of a well acclimated and upstanding member of society eating his öats

I spoon said öats into my esophagus
with great dexterity
   And read many instruction manuals.
I practice essentialism. I cry when i need to.
Shake hands with my spouse
I forget the point now

My biggest fear is being alone
Or ending up a loser
But both outcomes are predicated on people's perception of me

But perceptions change

If i had money I could wear a bathrobe to the store with a zebra cowboy hat
And the money would make me eccentric

$$$$ could buy an infant from a mother.

$$$$ could buy you a liver from a healthy farmboy in peru

$$$$$ could buy you tickets to a ******
Thats all that matters in this shitshow.
Your personality is irrelevant
They want what youve got
They dont want you

Happy
And smiling because the pain has stopped

I had to make it stop
It wouldn't stop by itself

It kept going, and I kept going.
All I had to do was
Cease

and be still.
Give in,
Relax.
It's over

Years go by  and new birds learn to fly
I saw you the other day
in a silver dress, and painted nails
Time flies when you're alone, painful but something that you barely recollect

Shooting a can and washing a dish the TV talks to me and says go away,
Go away

I hope your dogs got fed and thanks for showing me the sugarglider,  never seen one.  Smuggled from Peru.
God look up,  child be still, someone is trying to disappear what a trick
I still laugh. It's funny
to
me.  especially now

Capitalized
Everything gets capitalized
Even the things
Which don't matter

Life

my happiness lasts until my first sip of coffee til about an hour later then it's all down hill from here. the gloomy realization that I have 8 more hours of this until I can be asleep.
but sleeping in isn't enough
and I'll be awake all night
again
I don't know where I am,
time to go bury a goldfish and talk to crazed hobos so they can
flee in fear

I wanted to be a dancer, I became a nun.
I watch jeapordy.
I sit on a.golden ladder.
There are 33 choices.
****, or
Lucidity.
Don't be boring. Please

I'm alone whilst touching flesh, heart to heart, blood to blood.
Sticks for hands grab at a bended waist and the hair tangles with every ******.
I can now forget to blow out my head, I'll be late anyway

Hissing through the wind as the leaflets make their way North
crooked hands of dispair
Know not the p r ice
Look to yourself
Flee if you must, for whatever's just. Sorry If I went too far
666 happens to be a faithful star

Jug band sister, I crane my head and walk to a river. Wash away your sins. Cry in the
***** shale breeze

This girl interrupted my sleep
I never talk on the phone but she insisted;
crippling OCD and trigger fixations.
Her word is 'shoot"
If you say 'shoot"
She'll immediately recede into herself and become mute for the entirety of the day.
We moved on from that;
She told me she liked my voice, I told her she's got a cute laugh.
She didn't seem so crazy after the 3rd hour

puzzling a foot owl obtuse like shallow eels;
disguised in floraals

the canyon is lit

hopping round the crest

boobage too soon

tongue on the bench

behind a brimstone

stars are nice

but I still need my camera

hippy cracking his head,
just getting in the way as usual.
  they always get in the way; talk, never doing, at their investment firm
talking, then preaching  of world-unity and sustainability.
a generation of liars . punks had no pretense. to burn out, and not fade away
hey hey
my my

I got a like by a guy,
His name was Mystery

So intriguing and conjuring up images of a night club hack

Poets are usually named Phil
Or Jane

Never the

But in space there is no time
And that's how it mostly feels especially in the early hours

Numb and floating
infinite like a ballet
You only get one chance
Don't miss
Your eclipse



;*:;

'Crazy' people dont post goofy poems on some poem sharing site to exalt their 'genius'
They just **** in a hallway or cut their **** off

Ooo ooo ooo oooloooo crazy
Im crazy
I'm depressed and I've since made that distinction a while back
Catch up

Do t forget to smash that subscribe button nigeers

stop getting in a writer's way
the more you chastise him and belittle his work and tear up his papers and smash
his keys and pour petrol on him
as hes typing
  and poison his coffee
and put rat poison in his smokes (more at least) and stomp on his head  in the morning as he rubs dust from his eye , you'll only encourage him to write more
and next time you'll be in it and it will be the part
  of the
glory hole servant in a run-down truck stop
in Baton Rouge

One day I'll be free and I wont care
I will sit on the cement stairs and waste my time the right way

Alone in a grey cell with a bottle of juice

I cant wait for my
passage.

It takes 2 to move this
Stone

Is this a haiku
Immersed in twilight suns
It hurts to be free

Your smile was brilliant
like a snow dust portrait in the fall

I could see you then, alive, full of something.
Life hadn't beaten you down yet..
Your smile, still vibrant,
and the pain merely implied.
You had so much more to do; I'm sorry you didn't get to see it.
But I'll take this burden from you. & you
can live with the angels

this is one of those no-hesitation days, seeping with sorrow and ache and gloomy sadness.
If you had a 12 gauge by your bedside you'd understand what I mean by no-hesitation

The line at the post office stretched for half a mile and it made me sick
Now this is contrived

Now this is about humanity

Now the ravens flock around the eviscerated mound
My jacket was black & i had 3 like it
No line is too long when youre dead inside

I love myself
I am god
I made the stars and carved into the rock
the flood killed the few
Was it so simple then

writing when you have nothing to say,

is like talking to a pile of dirt.

I have nothing to say right now so I'm talking to a pile of dirt.
I'll let someone else find meaning.

Please do, for my sake.

Read between the lines, and look for the hidden art. it is very well hidden

bitter and cruel
Gelatinous
eye slits
tongue deep in the wound
******* all life
from my child
The moon is cold
& the wolves sleep
we hear your screams like treason
You weren't the first to feel pain
You won't be the last

I'm living in a sort of dissociated daze
I don't feel real. I don't feel the warmth or love or intimate affection that I used to amongst supposed romantic partners. I feel detached and dizzy, ill.
I've gone through this before however, countless times. Numerous personality changes. I was different a month ago, more assured, more positive and in a spiritual frame of mine. Now I'm slightly nihilistic with a lingering fantasy for homicide; I wonder how it'd feel stabbing and gutting someone because I know it'd be like stabbing myself; we're all manifestations of the same spirit (energy). You're me, and I'm you. When you take a **** in the morning , I feel you expending that waste.

But this is rambling. I guess the point is im here and I'm getting tired with these life circumstances. I am merely existing;, and the remedy is to live spontaneously. I don't want to die with regrets. I made it to 30 (almost). Time to see if it was all worth it. But really it's nothing too serious. It's a joke really; give up, and find freedom. Let it all go, let all the prejudice die. Youre not what society or your parents expect from you; you are a being of free agency, alive and in the present, beautiful, fearless, unmolested, still born

I squeeze what's left of me

  Tired of pleading.
I scroll through walls of shapeless consumerist
talent show entries, all yelling to be picked.

I'm suceptible to the game too. All for money like a *****.
1 step from putting a ***** up my *** and eating fish larvae
In a bucket like a good mukbanger.
I HATE humanity
I HATE being here.

I HATE being cheated and losing my capacity for love and trust, always on edge.

I don't want to compete anymore. I want silence,   but  I can't drown out the noise, like tinnitus
Drilled into my skull
It's always been this way. But now I'm desperate. & There's no more suppressing it

do nothing.

I've already done enough harm,


close the curtains and
fade out

It makes no sense but it felt good making it

I don't need 'meaning' to appreciate something
I can appreciate it just for being.
It says enough without
speaking

Thank you Lord I can be homeless in the USA
I can sleep on park benches in Malibu
And ******* in public parks
Thank you God
For the EBT and hospitality
Free food and good weather
Cali is paradise
I can rot in the sunset and watch the hordes commute to their dead end job
I can watch the world crumble
As I eat a big Mac
I am truly
Privileged
Thank you for the clean water and good *****
My ***** is here now
Life is fine, if you live it
& If you stop thinking
about it