I need time away
, I need seconds to breathe,  I need crumbs to which I can count my scraps. I need poison to drink wine,
I need to feel your tight holes as I relax in my studio.
When I feel music,  I see trees.  I cut Down mountains because the babies keep crying.
If you get pregnant, my lips will turn tangerine. I have no fathers left,  just tears of pride. Seconds don't count now,  I'm all
ash

So tired as to be delirious; the duck quacks in the barnyard and the mouse suckles on cow
droplets, hale stacked up like so,  and the little girl dances in the shadow light.
"I'll be dead soon"
  so will I 
 I've made plans and I'm never late

Absolute hell
& Misery
My head aches
Like a ticking bomb and my heart is full of compressed air
I see faces without emotion even though there are human impulses here.

I want to leave
And be forgotten
Like the many dead

If I would've known i had to do this again
I may as well have just
      retreated into the light

What gives you the right to be so
Unnafraid?

Don't seek advice because know one
Knows shït

there's an obligation to not
**** sometimes


but I still hear the humming

I still use words like 'clack'
and 'void'

and mist is always evocative of a nice nostalgic moment.


but
my obligation really is just to get through the day

I put this out   because I like noise

Love that is dead is like used carpentry, zebra walls tell me their story, for the bird in who's town? July. I'm so ******* broken.
Losing feels like gaining. Gaining more courage for the inevitable. I've crossed out September and put up walls. I can't listen to myself anymore.  Abundance is waste now  , I have everything I don't need and want.  I forget the point? It's still fine now, or I stay together for the pain

the nights of humid air and loose sink hair
the night of barking dogs and screaming frogs
the night of silent cars and purple mars
the night of blood red wine and healing scars
the night of doves and crows flying
the night of sleeping lice and dying minds
the night of black and white pictures and leftover love
the night of swimming horses and pressed up diaries
the night of fools beckoning to the hall
the night of a concert played in perfect pitch to a deaf audience
as they all applaud

But it didn't feel like enough. The yogurt was dry and the gaurds would bash his head with a mallet. He carved "deceit" into the walls and gargled with soap.
Push ups for days, and sit ups until he was a man.
13 deaths isn't anything as long as you're free.
The bars would not budge, and steel doesn't rust

My brain is like a wooden log
& My lung is full of grease & smoke

I am merely a man chasing an expectation
I should give up on love because it's been a force of unrelenting agony
but I grip onto the stem like a monkey choking a stalk

What more do you want from me?
Why do these people exist
  when it's my world?

If anyone knew
They'd point to the dog and say
"Speak"

Starving til i have a 6 pack.

Fat pigs sleep in hay
I've rolled in the dirt and want my fix

To see my ****
To see the veins writhe. No love being a blob.
I want to cease it all so it can make sense somehow. Drop the spoon' pick up the knife

I feel so much lonlier than when I was by myself
The dense humidity of this room crushes me
And I cannot sleep
I suffocate until I achieve a semblance of peace
Suicide is for beginners. Try living as a dead  man

Lost in so many ways. Losing my girlfriend, lost all my friends, losing my hair and my mind. I can only speak through a phone, and in there I find soulless circuitry. My name means nothing to me now, I was orphaned sometime ago. I want to crawl in the woods and dig my pit. It never goes away, I just make friends with the same strangers and acquaintences, weary of the breeze and the trembling leaves

Back to the ugly

Like a cyclical hell.
I was here 7 years ago, & I wondered if things would be different.
All procrastination and all sides quests -

If you're resolute on the end, then it will end.

These people and places I intermingled with were mere distractions.  Happiness is a warm gun
- lennon

To plunge my knife into your sternum
Would be too much effort
You breathe because I am
indifferent
  the
Wandering soul sits idle in a bush
awaiting your tempered heart
& jovial face
The angry ones swallow whole
all the foolish ones,
     prancing about with so little care. You make it easy to hate & hate is how we
survive

Feel like I'm in a glass house
Brain is tethered by wire
& ephemeral fog

Id hug every one of my enemies if it meant salvation
Id ride into dusk unadorned.
I am truly at a loss

& so it goes

Took a walk;
Saw a cool trail
Saw the litter

Saw the bramble
I walked in the road
Saw the lack of people
And the red truck
With tires now deflated
Saw the sun
Saw the breeze
Saw the pebbles along borders and a misty eyed grasshopper
Swallowing a leaf

I remember Rust
Putting his **** up my **** with the thorns
I said no
But his moldy breath evaporated in my headache and the hot **** was good then, like chock late milk.
But I wanted another straw so I opened my curtains and went fishing and saw you there.. You were performing surgery on a baby and put a donut in its belly, but
I still went to the sock hop the next day with you, cause I love you
Maybe

Ruining myself

but if you let go
It stops hurting.

It only hurts because you care too much
Otherwise
It's just skin

If this is all it takes to bring down a civilization, then maybe it should collapse
modern humans are weak , and the 'primitives' would be laughing at how pathetic and far man has fallen. Like a wolf sadly glancing at the pellet-filled
chihuahua barking tethered from a fence. It was lost a long time
ago

I am a nothing man,
I sore amongst the eagles. I play with the itinerate dish wash band, I plant my seeds in the field of excess.
I watch your governments crumble and your
women ***** themselves for pocket change;
I see the rolling hills and the divide and cascade and assorted minutia.
I may not have much but I have time, and time only exists in the mind. So why cry

It goes in the slot,
****** it in tighter as tight as you can so sparks start flying out and the thing starts to smoke, then shove it in with your hand and fist like a forceful piston til the thing is vibrating and ready to explode with the juice leaking out and creating a puddle. Continue with this thrusting motion for a good few seconds until the pickle eventually loosens from the jar and apply to your sandwich for your hearty brunch

😋🌭😂🌭🌭🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕😜😝😝😝🙁
Opulant like a library
Tucked away in a Dusty cellar
Your noose hangs low
Your cheeks are flushed
Kiss the flame

Sick in so many ways
  Everything hurts in one way or another
And it used to be humanity's only concern was eating and breeding,  now it's wondering whether you're even alive

I spit at the creator,
   I call out my own name.  More complaints, but that's all we can do whilst we struggle to die

So it goes
   2 steps forward A lot of nothing

"Dont mistake my kindess for weakness"

She cries anyway.
Red
Tears

I999

Hp Lovecraft cat had a funny name.
I still need to read his volumes.
They sit on a shelf in the kitchen.
I write bad poetry.
I was awake all night
My eyes burn  like heat. My retinas are withered.
To sleep I go.  To bed i Make my home.  I curl up with my oversized pillow, made of foam. The lizards need their adrenochrome

I scream for you
LOVE IS REAL

I run my fingers against your ivory thighs. I sigh. I whistle a tune and make breakfast, the crows howl why.

2 after 10, the den is made but no body barks.  What goes on.  I slide away,  I ask how.
I touch your lips and saddle your chest.  I pick up your hair and make a noose of my self. I wither in the light as your beauty prances. I can't believe it.  I speak
"God is willing"
God is real so long as the universe is a perfect mistake.  I touch your brow, I kiss your tears, I make love. Lay another bridge, the water is running.  So what if the rivers run dry when the rain lets me love. I drink from crystal coves. The dirt settles over me and I count to tomorrow. What then

i'll give my 2 cents on the riots later,
when people are willing to listen
right now it's about yelling into the abyss
and painting everything black

Eliott Smith presumably stabbed himself in the heart(but in all likelihood was murdered)
but in either case I now understand why

we smoked the hookah for a bit more and listened to some records. We had huge *** subwoofer speakers that stood 8 feet tall that we got from goodwill for $20 that would rattle the street. The neighbor was deaf though so he didn't care but would complain of the vibration; we would lower it to accommodate him, he was a decent guy.
We'd play HIghway 61 by Bob Dylan, which we listenened to nearly every time we hung out, Velvet underground - Velvet Undergound, Neil young-  on the beach, Pink Floyd- Animals, and Led zeppelin 4. The classics. We didn't like that filthy hip hop which was so much the rage; I liked some, but the repetition wears. You can't enjoy a hip-hop album, just individual songs.
    Then eventually the coals were reduced to ash on the *** and you'd blow it away like a dandelion to clean it off. Pat's dad Bill came out again at this time.
"PAT, I'm hungry. We need Ihop. NOW. NOW" He'd say while shaking and in a daze.
"AND I NEED ANOTHER GLASS, you gave me a PUSSSY shot the last time"
Pat filled Bill's glass a third.
"Dad if you're driving, then you can't drink too much"
"I KNOW I don't want to LOSE my licesnce again "
It was his 2nd DUI. He seemed alright to drive though; he'd sleep off his drunks pretty quickly; maybe the 2 hours sobered him enough.
   Anyway we started down the road whilst sweat dripped from Bill's reddened face & as he clutched the wheel with violence.
Today would be a fine day to die I thought

I went in to get a piercing
from my ex

After she finished we walked outside and talked a bit, about the usual and then hugged.
I felt very lonely in her
presence and it made me realize
that human beings are disappointing
We are but flesh &
hope

Love is forever they say, through all the nights of psychosis and turmoil and uncertainty, love is forever

Through all the days dreaming of acres of bliss among the green hills and your animals free and alive, love is forever.

Through all the kisses on your wrist when you no longer had the strength to continue, love is forever.

Through all the mania and pain and poverty and suffering, love is forever.

When you weaped uncontrollably and I left for some days because I had to attend to my mental health,
our love was still forever, so why would you betray me?

I knew when you made these promises that I'd be looking back now as a naíve fool, but the love was still real in those moments, it just wasn't forever..

brain of mush
     scrambled words and half formulated thoughts, uninspired,   like factory work

brain of mush, of
pudding, cold soup. I ride along the road, so many thoughts and half heartless. I'll leave you because I hurt myself.
You knew this,  you were comfort I didn't deserve.
So I throw it away.
I'm dumb. Brain of mush, soul already crushed. I'll miss your eyes though,  beautiful girl,  and your sweetness as I make my place somewhere far, and lost in the pages,  where no one bothers to read  

I hope one day it all crumbles

& The infrastructure is swallowed into the abyss.
& all strata of man and woman pummeled like a grey mallet
into a vengeful rock.

And then the old ones can stare from afar and ponder their fate.
All gods die

This is the beginning
****** off in my head again
today
it's all the same

Plastic people
Hold my hand
Light a fire so I can dance
Tonight
So uptight

And we got nothing to lose today
And we got nothing to do or say
And we got nothing to lose

Dead corpses
Line the streets
Feeding all the children and the strays
It's all so grey

Picking up pennies for my slavery
Spent it all on my pain
It's another day

And we got nothing to lose

they burned the cities.
they burned the pharmacy,
they burned the bus stop
, they burned the libray and the depot,
they burned the fire station,
of course they burned the police station.
they burned the homeless man crying for his socks.
they burned the dog,
they burned the manicured grass
they burned the log cabin and the phonebook and the 12 hay stacks across the way
but they didn't dare burn the synagogue
but they did
burn a church,
and they did burn a zoo. the animals ran free

Stay away
plastic people. I don't want your neon lights & your katamine brain
; I want to flop in a large pool as the collectors dive on mint

Leave me be
Let me swallow up life while you
keep working for nothing;
Slaves need their masters to feel free
I am but a discorded sellout

Pay me nothing

Perhaps it is of no use
then will you make the mistake of choosing it?
If it had a chance, sure, but otherwise skip around yer eels, your heels are cloudy love, now and then
you can trap a disaster.
right around the throat don't let it
go
I loved once too

this is my therapy moreso than music. I can say what I want -- I'm not confined to a melody , or attached to any notes-
it's free form. it's its own music and has its own dance; I can laugh,
and cry,
and scream, and say how it really is-- and it's really great;
  really great , and doesn't have to be that grand. There doesn't need to  be a big crescendo.
just soaking up the sun with an empty glass in the dull noon is sometimes enough

Women, birds, cars, zoos, atms, shoes, pasta salad, cake, burritos, haMmers, grass hoppers, parrots, politics, money.
I just want my box, and the world can *******.
It takes about 25 a week so it's attainable. I don't live to work, and I'm not sqaundering my youth to be a slave. I can be a ****** in my 30s and 40s, but right now I'm a rockstar. I don't want my soul essence squeezed from me. I'm not ready to be shackled.
Shackled by marriage, or children,
Or social status and its upkeep.
Just give me the box, you can have the stuff

Mushrooms
My lady is staring at me with love
Bono is being weird
I wrote a little poem
This is fun
I probably have brain stuff
Profoundly profound. . Jnndmrkrke jdj

I feel like Trevor in uk82
****** and full of industrial glue
Breaking windows
And slashing tires
Robbing homes and setting fires
Swazi on the head you don't give a ****
The world treats you like a boot's imprint
Alone in the cell you can't breathe
The warden cries evermore,
And blood gushes from your slashed veins and the littered head of
tyrants
Roll down a hill to hell

Stay inside.
Talk to your dog and Dance with your baboon.
flooded horizon, flowrrs bloom
tomorrow
🥡🥡🥡🥡🥡🥡🥡🥖🍷

Crumpled up and tossed in the garbage, you had no chance

A heart too big and too much care, you had no chance

Feet that only carry you to a grave, you had no chance

Eyes that see only memories tinged with pain and remorse, you had no chance

Childlike wonder and fruitful vision, you had absolutely no chance

She was truly perfect. Body like aphrodite
6ft tall, freckled nose and radiant eyes like a forest
Then she told me something
And now sleeping next to me she's like a stranger
5 months like that. I wish I knew sooner. And now I'm angry at God because I know I can't do better. I just wanted it to work but now it can't.
And to think her name was Hope

My ******* head hurts. My eyes hurt.
My head hurts,
Headache.
My back hurts, my shoulders hurt.
My eyes hurt.
My ear is clogged.
My foot hurt

It's not enough to be a good writer or poet anymore
You have to be a savvy business man as well; really sell yourself.
Get that Facebook account and Instagram primed with the right photos and have your Snapchat story good while posing over a balcony in Dubai,
really have your abs showing, and flex your biceps.
Have your book sitting atop the makeup canvass as you sell your product, and make sure the lighting is ideal, and make sure you post bi-weekly on YouTube and include the ad-code for 15 percent off,
Also look at the analytics to deduce your audience: Jamaican maids with blue pantsuits
Be savvy and cutthroat, and remember *** sells, but not at much as surface noise, so open your mouth and say.........,.............

I hate everybody


I hate dogs
I hate ice cream
I hate children
I hate cars
I hate green
I hate leather shoes

I saw a painting of Adolf in the library
sitting among the Israeli cannibal

I wanted to go dancing

I still have my last 25 coins

I **** you

I have realized that im a prose writer who just writes with

odd



spacing.

It's time to stop pretending,

Or just time to be courageous and write what im supposed to.

But i cant be here anymore.

2 thousand poems and i have said nothing

I don't CARE

I wander through the ancient
gardens,
I **** the ****** in her little slit.

I burn the temple,

I pray to the last priest on judgement day. **** my ******* with a 22inch
cactus.

I don't care.
you don't matter.
******* all.

you all mean nothing to me.
         Ill die alone,

but at least I won't be afraid.


last embrace.
must I dream and always see your face.

lover

lover

leave me for good.          leave

me please.

Throbbing along. Grieving one.  Where did you go.  Where did the water drain down.  A ******* was not too far.  I walked there and fell. Broke my nose on the glass

PEARL

moldovite. it didn't work ⁸